Title: Love Bites 
Pairing: McWeir, implied ShepWeir 
Rating: NC-17 
Summary: Rodney has feelings for Elizabeth, but doesn’t 
tell her. She begins a relationship with Sheppard which 
causes Rodney anguish.  
Disclaimers: Don’t own them, wish I did.



Chapter One


Rodney McKay sat in the puddle jumper, his arms folded 
across his chest.  He stared out the windshield bored out 
of his mind. 

Why did Sheppard even bother to tell me to get ready if I 
wasn’t even going to step out of the ship?

It hadn’t been a week since he had destroyed a solar system 
and lost his team’s trust.  It hurt and he’d been working 
on getting it back. 

How can I help if I’m stuck here? Rodney thought miserably. 

He pushed himself out of the chair and paced to the back of 
the jumper.  He hated being bored.  It was worse than being 
hungry or scared. 

What’s taking so long? Rodney pushed the release for the 
ramp and watched as it slowly lowered to the ground.  He 
glanced up at the cloudy gray sky.  Lightening flashed in 
the distance and he grumbled in irritation. 

“McKay, start the jumper.  Now!”

Thunder followed John’s voice and rain poured a moment 
later.  Rodney hurried to the jumper’s controls and started 
it up. 

Gunfire sounded behind him and he turned to see Sheppard 
and the rest of the team racing toward the jumper. 

What did they get into now?

Lightening flashed behind the team and Rodney caught a 
glimpse of what appeared to be Wraith. 

Oh, just great, Rodney thought as Teyla and Ronon entered 
the jumper.  They fired their weapons at the three Wraith 
charging out of the forest. Two of the creatures fell to 
the ground as the third returned fire. 

“Hurry up, Sheppard!” Rodney shouted as John stood in the 
rain and fired at the remaining Wraith.

The last Wraith fell to the ground as thunder sounded.  
Sheppard turned and hurried into the jumper.  He slapped 
the release and the door closed behind him.  He sat in the 
pilot’s seat and took the controls. 

“Let’s get out of here,” John said as the jumper went into 
the air.

“Best idea I heard all day,” Rodney said as he settled into 
the co-pilot’s seat. 

~*~

Rodney sat in the briefing room, his eyes on Elizabeth.  He 
had tried the hardest to get back into her good graces.  He 
hated that he had disappointed her and it hurt every time 
he remembered the look on her face when he told her what 
had happened.  He knew she was still angry with him, but he 
wasn’t about to stop trying to make it right between them.

Her friendship means too much to me, he thought.

Elizabeth stood then and Rodney blinked. 

“Looks like we’ll have to be even more careful where we 
go,” Elizabeth said.  “We can’t risk the Wraith knowing 
we’re still here.”

“That’s an understatement,” Sheppard said as he stood. 

The team filed out, leaving Rodney behind.  He stood 
wanting to talk to Elizabeth.  He wanted to tell her about 
the device they had finally been able to get to work.  It 
was an exciting moment and he wanted to share it with her. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney called as he raced out of the briefing 
room.

“Not now, Rodney,” she said as she walked toward her 
office.  “I have a ton of reports to read and no time to 
read them.”

Rodney stopped and stared after her as she entered her 
office and sat at her desk.  He could barge in and tell her 
all he wanted to tell her, but it wasn’t the way back to 
her confiding in him.  He sighed and decided to tell her 
later when she wasn’t so busy. 

He headed down the steps and left the gate room.  Analyzing 
the device further sent a thrill of excitement through him.  
The thought of delivering a very detailed report to her 
caused him to jog toward the lab.  

It amazed him how much her opinion meant to him.  He always 
went to her with some idea or new device or artifact they’d 
found.  He loved her smile and enthusiasm when he’d talked 
to her about his discoveries.  It made his own zeal that 
much greater.  He never could get enough of it. 

Rodney entered the lab and went over to the device, no 
bigger than a flash drive.  He picked it up and looked at 
it, turning it over in his hands.  He walked over to his 
laptop and sat down, placing the device on the table beside 
him. 

“Did you tell her?” Radek asked, coming over to him. 

“She’s busy with reports at the moment,” he answered as he 
typed up his own report.  “I’m going to wait and tell her 
and hand over my report.”

“You could tell her over lunch,” Zelenka suggested.  

Rodney sighed.  It was a good idea.  They both needed to 
eat sometime. “Fine, I’ll tell her.”

The thought of having lunch with her sent his heart racing.  
They really hadn’t talked in nearly a week and there was so 
much he wanted to say to her.  He wanted to find a way back 
into her confidence and the only way he was going to able 
to do that was ask her. 

“Good.  I’m sure she will be pleased,” Radek said before 
going back to his side of the lab.

Rodney shook his head and typed up the rest of his report.  
He couldn’t wait to know what she thought. 

It took him ninety minutes to finish his report; there was 
so much information in it.  Rodney knew he had a tendency 
to go off on tangents, but he didn’t want to leave anything 
out or possible questions hanging.  

He saved his finished report on his own flash drive and 
pulled it out of its slot.  He picked up the device and 
headed toward the mess hall, his heart pounding at the 
prospect of having lunch with Elizabeth.  It had been so 
long since they had done anything together, even walk down 
the hall.  He missed the closeness he had with her and 
would do anything to get it back. 

Rodney entered the mess hall and sought out Elizabeth.  He 
saw her sitting by herself, eating Jell-O. He smiled and 
grabbed a tray of food then headed over to her. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said as he stood over her table. 

Elizabeth looked up as if surprised to see him. “Rodney. 
Hello.”

Rodney smiled and tried to calm his growing excitement and 
something else he didn’t have time to identify.  He sat 
across from her and handed her his report. 

“What’s this?” Elizabeth asked, staring at the flash drive.

“My report,” he answered as he handed her the device, “on 
this.  It looks like a flash drive, but its not. It’s 
information on what most of the labs we keep finding are 
for and how to make them work.  There’s also information on 
experiments they had been working on.  It’s amazing, all 
that on such a small device.”

Elizabeth looked at the device again, a small smile 
crossing her face.  Rodney felt his heart soar at the 
expression.  He loved putting a smile on her face and it 
warmed him.  He wanted to see it again and again. 

“It is amazing,” she said as she put the devices aside.  
“I’ll read your report after I eat.”

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said, unsure of what to say.  “I want 
to know if we’re all right.”

Elizabeth stared at him as if he spoke a foreign language.  
He stared back, his mouth going dry at how she would 
answer. 

“We’re fine, Rodney,” she said, sitting back in her chair.  
“Why do you ask?”

Rodney looked at his food, his nervousness causing him to 
lose his voice.  He cleared his throat several times before 
he was finally able to answer. 

“I know I screwed up last week,” he answered, his voice 
low.  “I feel as if I lost your friendship in the process.  
I don’t know how to get that back.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and Rodney feared what she might 
say. 

“You haven’t lost my friendship, Rodney,” she said, sending 
a wave of relief through him.  “I’m angry at you for what 
you did, but I know you’ll do whatever you can to make up 
for it.”

“I’m trying,” he said, not caring that his voice went up in 
pitch.  “I don’t know if it’s even working.”

Elizabeth smiled. “Rodney, you have nothing to worry about.  
You’re still the most valuable member of this expedition.”

“Not compared to you,” Rodney replied, staring at her with 
all the seriousness he felt. It must have overwhelmed her 
for she looked back at her food. She cleared her throat, 
pushing her food around. 

“Thanks,” she whispered, looking up at him with her green 
eyes.  Green eyes he wanted to drown in.  The emotion that 
washed over him caught him off guard.  He looked away, 
clearing his throat.

“You’re welcome,” he said as he stood, uncertainty and 
awkwardness rushing over him.  “I need to go before the so 
called scientists destroy my lab.”

Elizabeth laughed, but he didn’t hear it as he hurried out 
of the mess hall.  The feelings that came over him 
surprised him.  He cared about Elizabeth and desired her 
friendship, but what he felt now was something he hadn’t 
prepared for.  It scared him and he didn’t know what to do 
about it or if he even should.  








































Chapter Two




“You know this is getting ridiculous,” Rodney said as he 
dialed the gate back to Atlantis, gunfire sounding all 
around him. 

“Shut up and dial the gate,” Sheppard said before firing 
his gun again at Kolya’s men.

Rodney rolled his eyes and pressed in the last symbols for 
the address.  He stared up at the gate as it activated. 

“Got it!”  He shouted, his ears ringing from the sound of 
guns.  “Let’s go.”

He pulled out his gun and shot off a few rounds before 
racing toward the blue event horizon.  He didn’t care if he 
hit anyone.  He was more concerned on getting back in one 
piece.  

At least I’m not sitting in the damn puddle jumper, Rodney 
thought as he dived into the gate. 

Rodney landed face first on the floor of the gate room.  He 
grumbled as he pushed himself up, the gate shutting down 
behind him.  He looked up to see the rest of his team 
staring at him.

“What took you so long?” Sheppard said, smiling.

Rodney glared at the man as he got to his feet. “I was 
keeping Kolya at bay while you ran through the gate like 
scared little girls.”

“Wait, Kolya was there?” Elizabeth asked, bringing Rodney’s 
attention to her for the first time. 

“Apparently he had the same idea we did that the planet 
might contain a working ZedPM,” Rodney said as he took in 
Elizabeth’s attire.  She wasn’t wearing her typical red 
shirt as she always did.  Instead, she wore a form fitting 
pink top with black slacks.  He took her in, soaking up how 
nice the outfit made her look.  His heart skipped a beat 
and he took a deep breath to calm himself.  What was he 
doing, staring at his boss as if she was a discovery he had 
just made?  He couldn’t help it, though.  There was 
something about her that kept him wanting to be around her, 
near her.  

Elizabeth turned her green gaze to him and he blinked.  She 
raised an eyebrow and he realized that he had missed the 
entire exchange between the team and Elizabeth. 

“Rodney?” Elizabeth said.  “Was there a ZPM?”

Rodney blinked again, clearing his throat as he glanced at 
the rest of the team.  Couldn’t they have told her that?  
They were right there with him?

“No, there wasn’t,” he answered turning his gaze back to 
Elizabeth.  “Kolya didn’t believe us, though and tried to 
take us hostage until we found it.  Needless to say, we 
didn’t take kindly to that.”

Elizabeth nodded.  “Good work and I’m glad you all came 
back in one piece.”

“We always try to accommodate,” Sheppard said with his 
typical roguish smile.  

Rodney rolled his eyes, but thankfully no one was taking 
notice.  He followed after the group, noticing how close 
Sheppard walked next to Elizabeth. 

What’s that about? He wondered, a pang of jealousy forming.  
He quickly pushed it aside, concentrating more on taking 
his gear off and finding something to eat. 

~*~

Rodney strolled down the hallway toward the mess hall, his 
laptop in hand.  He glanced at it, reading a report from 
Zelenka about a device they had found two weeks ago.  He 
shook his head, wondering if they would ever figure out how 
to turn the damn thing on.  

He glanced up in time to move around a pillar then switched 
to another report.  He heard laughter and glanced up in 
time to see Sheppard and Elizabeth standing outside the 
doorway to the mess hall.  He stopped short in surprise.  
He’d rarely seen Elizabeth laugh and he took a moment to 
drink it in.  He loved her laugh, but he loved her smile 
even more.  

And she’s wasting it on Sheppard, Rodney thought with a 
sigh. 

He was about to break up their little exchange with his 
reports when Elizabeth leaned into Sheppard.  His stomach 
dropped as she placed a hand on Sheppard’s chest and he 
lowered his head down to kiss her.  

He’s kissing her! Rodney thought, his breath leaving him. 

He stood rooted to the spot as the kiss went on.  He felt 
sick to his stomach and he almost dropped his laptop.  He 
shook himself out of his stupor and moved behind a pillar.  
He closed his eyes and tried to force his stomach to stop 
churning.  He took several deep breaths, hoping to calm 
himself. 

Rodney didn’t know how long he stood there, but when he 
pushed himself away from the pillar he saw the two were 
gone.  His heart pounded in his chest and his knees 
threatened to buckle. 

His reaction to what he saw only confirmed to him he had 
stronger feelings for her than he first thought.  He ran a 
hand over his face, trying to get himself under control.  
He swallowed a lump in his throat and pushed himself toward 
the mess hall.   

Once inside, his gaze immediately went to Elizabeth.  She 
sat with Sheppard, a smile on her face.  Pain sliced 
through him.  He forced himself to focus on getting 
something to eat.  He grabbed a tray, placing food upon it.  
None of it looked appealing, but his stomach informed him 
it was empty. 

Rodney sat at a table nearest the far wall away from 
everyone.  He stared at his food, pushing it around on his 
plate.  He tried to avoid looking at Elizabeth, but he knew 
she was there.  He shook his head and forced himself to 
eat. 

“You’re looking glum,” Sheppard’s voice brought him out of 
his thoughts. 

Rodney looked up as the other man sat down across from him.  
A surge of anger he had no reason to feel welled up inside 
him.  He wanted to hit the man, but he tamped it down.

“I was thinking,” Rodney said.

“Must be some bad thoughts,” Sheppard remarked.  

“You could say that,” Rodney answered, pushing more food 
around on his plate. 

“What’s wrong?”

Rodney shook his head, not wanting to discuss his feelings 
with Sheppard.  It hurt too much already without Sheppard 
making light of it.  

“If it’ll interfere with…”

“It won’t interfere with anything,” Rodney said, glaring at 
Sheppard.  “It doesn’t concern you.”

Sheppard stared at him, but Rodney didn’t care.  He wasn’t 
in the mood to be nice, especially to John. 

“McKay, it does concern me if you’re like this during a 
mission.”

“Don’t worry about it, Sheppard,” Rodney said, fighting the 
urge to punch Sheppard in the face.  He glared at the man, 
wanting him to shut up. 

“I am going to worry about it.  What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing!” Rodney snapped as he stood.  “And I’d appreciate 
it if you’d drop the matter.”

Sheppard stood as well and was about to grab him, but he 
stepped out of the way and headed for the door. 

“McKay!”  John shouted, but Rodney ignored him and stepped 
into the hallway. 

Rodney stalked toward the lab, his mind racing.  He 
couldn’t believe the gall Sheppard had in asking him what 
was wrong with him.  It irked him that the man even cared 
when he hadn’t before.  He doubted Sheppard would take it 
well if he knew how Rodney felt about Elizabeth.  The man 
would probably laugh. 

“Dr. McKay,” a voice interrupted his thoughts as he entered 
the lab. 

“What?” Rodney snapped, glaring at the woman as she handed 
him her report.  He took it and watched in mild amusement 
as she scurried away.  He glanced down at the laptop as he 
headed for his desk.  

“Rodney,” Elizabeth’s voice startled him.  He glanced up, 
expecting her to be there, but realized it was the headset.  
He sighed and tapped the earpiece.

“Yes?”  Rodney said, both irritated and excited she was 
talking to him. 

“Come to my office, I need to talk to you.”

“Be right there,” he said, wondering what she wanted to 
talk to him about.  He both dreaded and anticipated what 
she would say.  He left the lab and headed for her office, 
his heart racing. 

Rodney stepped into her office several minutes later.  She 
sat at her desk, staring at her computer screen.  He took a 
moment to admire her, bask in her nearness.  A twinge of 
loneliness washed over him and he closed his eyes against 
the wave of pain. He took a deep breath, clearing his 
throat as he stepped further into the room. 

“Elizabeth,” he said as he stood before her desk.

She looked up, her green eyes boring into him.  His heart 
skipped a beat and he found himself falling into the 
depths.  He almost didn’t hear what she said. 

“Rodney, I’m talking to you,” she said, bringing him back 
to reality.  “John is worried about you.  He said you 
didn’t look well in the mess hall.  What’s bothering you?”

Rodney blinked, anger building inside him.  He didn’t like 
the fact John told Elizabeth about their altercation in the 
mess hall.  He folded his arms across his chest and fought 
the urge to glare at her. 

“It is none of his business, Elizabeth,” he said.  

“It is if it might affect your job.  He said you were 
distracted to the point where you almost took a bite of key 
lime pie.”

Rodney blinked, caught off guard by that little fact.  He 
had no idea he had even put it on his tray. 

“And no one bothered to tell me?” Rodney asked.

“Someone tried, but you walked away in a daze.  If you are 
so distracted that you don’t even notice what you’re 
putting on your plate then we have a lot to be concerned 
about.  What is wrong, Rodney?”

Rodney shook his head, not able to get over the fact he 
nearly ate a lime pie.  He sighed and looked at her, 
concern in her green eyes.  He wanted to tell her, but he 
knew better.  He didn’t want to put her in such a 
situation.  It was better if he kept his feelings to 
himself. 

“It won’t affect my abilities,” he said.  “I’ll be fine.”

Elizabeth stared at him and he had a feeling she didn’t 
believe him.  She glanced away, sighing as she stood. 

“See that it doesn’t,” she said as she came around to stand 
in front of him.  

A wave of warmth flooded his being at her nearness.  His 
pulse raced and he fought the urge to take her in his arms 
and kiss her into oblivion.  He hoped she didn’t see it in 
his eyes.  

“I also want you to talk to Kate.”

Rodney stared at her in surprise.  Talk to a shrink about 
his feelings?  Was she insane? 

“Don’t force me to make it an order,” she said obviously 
knowing he was about to balk at the suggestion.  He never 
got over the knowledge that she read him so well.  

“Fine,” he said, clearing his throat.  “I’ll make an 
appointment.”

Elizabeth smiled and his heart jolted, his pulse pounded.  
He wanted so much for her smile to be for him only, but he 
knew better.  He’d bask in that smile as long as he could 
and hoped she’d smile at him again. 






































Chapter Three




“Dr. Weir says you’ve been distracted,” Kate stated as she 
sat in a chair across from Rodney. 

“That about sums it up,” Rodney said as he folded his arms 
across his chest.  It was a bad idea to come here.  He 
didn’t need his head examined and no one needed to know 
about his feelings. 

“Want to tell me why?”

“No,” he narrowed his eyes at her, letting her know he 
really didn’t want to be here. 

“She’s worried about you,” Kate pressed.  “She told me you 
almost ate a key lime pie.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and sighed.  He expected that little 
tidbit will be around Atlantis by tomorrow.  

“Tell me what’s bothering you.  You know it won’t leave 
this office, Rodney.  It might help you to get it off your 
chest.”

Rodney stared at her, but he knew she was right.  He sighed 
again, running a hand through his hair. 

“It hurts too much,” he said, his voice soft. 

“What hurts too much?”

Rodney saw the concern in her eyes, but it didn’t help.  It 
only made it worse, for he imagined it was Elizabeth’s eyes 
he looked into.  He shook his head as he looked away. 

“Elizabeth,” he answered, his heart aching.  “I want to go 
back to the way it used to be.  We were so close.”

“And now?” Kate asked as she leaned forward. 

“Now, she barely notices me.  I don’t know what to do.”

Rodney put his head in his hands, fighting back the tears 
that welled in his eyes.  He wouldn’t cry, not in front of 
a shrink.  He suddenly wanted to be alone, to wallow in his 
agony. 

“Rodney,” Kate whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
He didn’t want to look up, not with the tears stinging his 
eyes.  “Look at me.”

He shook his head, but Kate squeezed his shoulder and he 
raised his head.  He blinked back the tears, but she 
already saw them.

“Rodney,” she whispered.  “Dr. Weir cares about you.  She 
wouldn’t send you to me, otherwise.  She wants you to feel 
better.  If you’re having problems, you should tell her.”

Rodney shook his head.  “It doesn’t matter.  She’s put all 
her focus on Sheppard.”

Kate raised an eyebrow, but Rodney ignored it.  He stood, 
saying, “I shouldn’t be here.  There are some things that I 
need to attend to in the lab.”

“Rodney,” Kate said, but he was already out the door and 
heading toward his lab. 

~*~

Elizabeth stared out at the ocean, the wind ruffling her 
hair.  She breathed in the salty air, taking it into her 
lungs.  She closed her eyes as the door behind her opened 
and closed.  She heard his footsteps as he came up behind 
her. 

“Did you find out what was wrong with Rodney?” John asked 
as he came to stand beside her. 

Elizabeth sighed and rested her arms along the railing. “He 
wouldn’t tell me.  I received another complaint from a 
scientist down in the lab.  He yelled at her yesterday for 
no apparent reason.”

“I’m sure Rodney had a reason,” John said with a smile in 
his voice. 

Elizabeth stared at him and John cleared his throat, 
looking away. 

“I sent him to see Kate,” she said softly.  “If he wouldn’t 
tell me, I had hoped he’d tell Kate.  He’s too distracted.”

“Distracted enough to eat citrus.”

“I want to know what’s going on with him,” Elizabeth said, 
turning to face John.  “I can’t have my best scientist 
distracted to the point of nearly sending himself into 
allergic shock.”

“Who do you think he’ll talk to?” John asked as he leaned 
against the railing, folding his arms across his chest.  

“I’ll talk to him,” she said, heading back inside. 

A few moments later, Elizabeth headed down the corridor 
toward the lab.  She ran through her mind what she would 
say to Rodney and how she’d get him to talk.  She had never 
known him to not talk about a difficulty he had.  She 
remembered reports from John mentioning how much Rodney 
complained about some problem or ailment he wanted everyone 
to know he had.  To have him not say anything bothered her. 

Voices came from the lab as she drew closer to it.  Curious 
and concerned, she slowed her pace and listened.  

“Do you have oil for fingers?” Rodney shouted.  “I told you 
not to pick this up while examining it.  You almost broke 
it!”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes in concern as she stood outside 
the lab.  Rodney was always testy with the other 
scientists, but this was bordering on callous.  She had 
never heard that tone of voice from him before.  

“I had to pick it up to see the writing,” the scientist on 
the receiving end of Rodney’s temper explained.  

“I don’t care,” Rodney said.  “You have no business 
examining this device!  It’s too fragile for your less than 
nimble fingers.”

“I’m perfectly qualified to handle this device,” the poor 
scientist said. 

Rodney laughed harshly.  Elizabeth knew she had to get in 
there and stop the exchange before it became worse.  She 
ducked into the lab and saw Rodney in the middle of the 
lab, the mentioned device in his hand.  The scientist 
Rodney shouted at was an older man and considerably two 
inches shorter.  She raised an eyebrow as she stepped 
further into the lab.  She nodded to the other scientists, 
who appeared relieved she was there. 

Something is definitely wrong, she thought as she came up 
beside Rodney.  He’s never been this harsh with the others 
before. 

“I’m surprised you made it out of the second grade,” Rodney 
snapped.  

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, interrupting his tirade. 

Rodney spun around, surprise in his blue eyes.  The 
scientist being screamed at made a mad dash for the other 
side of the room. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said, his tone and demeanor completely 
changed.  “What brings you here?”

Elizabeth cleared her throat and noticed how the other 
scientists tried to make themselves look busy.  She knew 
otherwise and nodded her head toward the door.

“Shall we talk?”

Rodney blinked, obviously still in shock at her sudden 
appearance. 

And probably from the fact I saw him yelling at someone, 
she thought as she led Rodney out into the hall.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” Rodney asked as he 
stood in front of her, his hands behind his back.  He 
appeared tense, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. 

What’s gotten into him?  Elizabeth thought with concern.

“What did that poor scientist do?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and pointed toward the lab.  “He was 
handling an artifact that was very fragile and he almost 
dropped it.  I told him not to pick it up and what does he 
do?  He picks it up!”

Elizabeth fought back a smile.  He became quite animated 
when he was angry or trying to explain something.  It was 
interesting to watch him.  She almost forgot why she wanted 
to talk to him. 

“Did you see Kate?” Elizabeth asked to change the subject 
and get back on track.

Rodney stared at her then looked away.  “I went to see her 
yesterday.  It didn’t help.”

“You have to give it time,” she said.  “You can’t expect it 
to happen overnight.”

“You want me to see her again?” Rodney asked, balking.  “I 
can handle it.”

“You’re snapping at every little thing they do wrong, 
Rodney. I’ve been receiving complaints from all of them, 
except Zelenka.  A couple of them threatened to quit if I 
didn’t do something.”

“If they can’t handle a little criticism then they should 
leave.”

Elizabeth pointed toward the lab, her own temper 
threatening to explode.  “That wasn’t criticism, Rodney.  
That was down right cruel!  What has gotten into you?  
You’ve never been like that.”

Rodney stared at her, caught off guard by her analysis of 
him.  He blinked, not knowing what to say.  He knew what 
was wrong with him, but he didn’t want to tell her.  He 
didn’t want to see the pity in the eyes he loved so much.

“I have things I need to get back to,” he said, knowing she 
wouldn’t let him off that easily.

“I don’t think so,” Elizabeth said, grabbing his arm before 
he left.  

The jolt that spiked through him caused him to catch his 
breath.  He looked at her and saw the sparks in her green 
eyes.  She was angry and his heart sank.  He didn’t want to 
make her angry.  He sighed as he leaned against the wall. 

“You’re not going back into that lab until you get yourself 
under control,” Elizabeth continued.  “I won’t have you in 
a constant temper and everyone walking on eggshells.  Do I 
make myself clear, Rodney?”

“As always,” he said, feeling chastised.  He closed his 
eyes and sighed.  I royally screwed up now.  She probably 
hates me. 

“Good,” Elizabeth said. “Get something to eat, take a nap, 
anything.”

Rodney sighed again and nodded, pushing himself away from 
the wall.  He looked at Elizabeth, the sensation of longing 
flowing through him.  He had no idea how to make it up to 
her now.  He wanted so much for her to believe in him 
again. 

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” Elizabeth asked. 

Elizabeth never begged or pleaded for anything and it 
surprised him.  Did she really want to know?  There were so 
many things he wanted to say to her, one of them being how 
he felt about her.  The image of her kissing Sheppard came 
to his mind and he shook his head.  

“I haven’t been feeling well,” he said, opting for a half-
truth.  He hadn’t been feeling great, not since seeing her 
kiss Sheppard.  He doubted he’d ever be well again. 

“Take some time off,” Elizabeth said softly.  

Rodney shook his head.  “I can’t take time off, not when 
there’s so much to do.  We learned the locations to several 
other labs and rooms in Atlantis.  I want to check them 
out.”

Elizabeth sighed and he wondered if he crossed a line.

“All right,” she said and he didn’t know he’d been holding 
his breath until he relaxed.  “But take John with you.  We 
still don’t know what’s here.”
Sheppard, always Sheppard.  He hid the hurt behind a slight 
smile.  “You’ll be the first to know if we find anything.”

Elizabeth smiled, lighting her face.  His heart soared at 
the expression and he wanted to do anything she asked. 

“I’ll look forward to it,” she said and walked away, taking 
her smile and his heart with her. 










































Chapter Four




“Where was this lab again?” Sheppard asked as they trekked 
through the dark hallways of Atlantis. 

“Up ahead and to the right,” Rodney said, taking a glance 
at his laptop.  Despite the fact Sheppard was tagging 
along, he was still excited about finding this new lab.  He 
couldn’t wait to see what was inside. 

“Did Elizabeth talk to you?” Sheppard asked, the flashlight 
on his P-90 lighting the way. 

Rodney glared at the man then back at his laptop.  “Yes, 
and it’s none of your business what we discussed, so drop 
it.”

“Aren’t we in a mood?”

“You asked.”

Rodney stopped in front of a door and his excitement 
increased as he glanced at the screen.  

“This is it,” he said as he handed the laptop to Sheppard.  
At least the man was good for something.  

Rodney went to the door controls and made quick work of 
them.  The door slid open with a whoosh and he couldn’t 
help, but grin. 

“Let’s see what’s in there,” he said, taking his laptop 
from Sheppard.

“Wait,” John said, bringing Rodney up short.  The scientist 
stared at Sheppard, an eyebrow raised. 

“What is it, Colonel?”

“I should go in first.  Check it out.  Make sure there’s 
nothing in there that could attack us.”

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “Look, Sheppard, this part of the 
city has been vacant for centuries.  I doubt there will be 
anyone in there waiting to jump out at us.”

“There could be other dangers,” Sheppard said, stepping 
into the room first, his P-90 at the ready.

“Like a virus is going to be afraid of your gun,” Rodney 
grumbled as he followed after the Colonel.  

The room was pitch black, lit only by the P-90.  Rodney was 
able to make out the shapes of two consoles placed on 
opposite sides of the room.  He went over to the console 
closest to him and set his laptop upon it.  He used his 
hands to search for a place to hook it up and found it. 

“Let’s try some light,” he said as his fingers flew across 
the keyboard. 

“If you wanted light, why didn’t you say so?” Sheppard 
said.  “I can probably turn some of this on.”

“Then touch something,” Rodney said.  

He watched as the Colonel went over to the other console 
and pressed a hand against one of the keys.  Nothing 
happened.  A sense of mild satisfaction went through Rodney 
at that moment, but he pushed it down.  Gloating could wait 
until later. 

“Now, if you’d let me get back to work, I’ll have the 
lights on in no time.”

A few more taps on the keyboard and the lights came on.  
Rodney blinked against the brightness, but his eyes soon 
adjusted.  He looked around the room and saw it was smaller 
than he first thought, more of a rectangle than a square.  
A screen hung on the wall behind him, no bigger than a 
forty inch T.V. 

“It’s intact at least,” Sheppard said as he turned off the 
light to his gun.  

“Let’s see what kind of lab this is,” Rodney said as he 
looked down at the console before him.  He glanced over the 
keys, his heart racing in excitement.  Just finding the 
place was enough to get his spirits up.  If he was able to 
learn what this place was for, he doubted he’d come down 
from the high.  It was the only lab on the Ancient flash 
drive that wasn’t identified.  

“Let’s just hope it’s not some kind of weapon-making lab,” 
Sheppard said.  “I doubt we could go through that again.”

Rodney glared at John.  “I don’t think it’s that kind of 
lab.”

“Just try not to blow anything up while we’re here.”

Rodney shoved himself from the console and stood in front 
of Sheppard.  

“Why don’t you say what you really mean, Sheppard?  You 
don’t think I can do this or should be doing this!”

“That’s not what I think at all, McKay,” Sheppard said, 
moving away from him.  “I believe there’s something up with 
you that you’re not telling anyone.  It has us all 
concerned.”

Rodney stalked over to the console and tapped some of the 
keys.  He glared at Sheppard.

“Then why don’t you leave and if I do happen to blow up 
this lab, it’ll only be me that goes with it.”

Sheppard stared at Rodney as if he had lost his mind.  
Maybe he had, but he wasn’t going to let Sheppard talk to 
him as if he were an imbecile.  

“That has to be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard coming 
from you,” Sheppard said, coming to stand beside him.  
“What’s gotten into you?”

“That happens to be the question of the day,” he answered 
as the console beeped.  He turned around and saw the screen 
had lit up.  He smiled slightly as he went over to it. 

“Maybe if you’d answer it you wouldn’t be hearing it so 
much,” John said.

Rodney looked the screen over as words scrolled before him.  
His grin grew as did his excitement. 

“It’s a medical lab,” he said as he glanced at Sheppard.  
“They were researching diseases and looking for cures.”

“Oh, so there is a virus in this lab somewhere,” Sheppard 
said. 

“No,” Rodney growled, tired of Sheppard’s negativity.  
“This is where they kept the data.  I’m sure the actual lab 
is on the other side of that door.”

He pointed to a door on the far side of the room.  He 
headed toward it, but Sheppard stopped him. 

“What now?” Rodney said, his patience wearing thin.

“If there are diseases in that lab…”

“I won’t touch anything,” Rodney snapped, jerking his arm 
from the man’s grasp.  “Contrary to your opinion I’m not 
careless.”

“I never said you were.”

Rodney said nothing as he headed toward the door.  The 
controls worked and the door slid open.  It was dark 
inside, but the light from the data room was enough to let 
him see by.  He stepped inside and the lights automatically 
came on.  He stopped, caught off guard, but got his 
bearings and looked around. 

The circular room was bigger than the data lab, more 
consoles and stations scattered across the place.  There 
were two screens, one on the far wall across from him and 
one in the middle of the space. 

“This should keep Carson busy for awhile,” Rodney said as 
he walked further in. 

“Maybe he can find a cure for your melancholy.”

Rodney glared at Sheppard, but said nothing.  It wasn’t 
anyone’s business how he felt.  He was still able to work 
and he wasn’t hurting anyone else.  Why was everyone on his 
case about it?

“Very funny,” he griped as he went to one of the stations.  
On top of the table appeared to be a microscope and Petri 
dishes.  He was about to pick one of them up when Sheppard 
grabbed his arm and moved him away.

“You have no idea what’s in that!” Sheppard remarked.  
“Maybe we should leave before you catch something.”

“I am not one of the lab techs who has no idea what he’s 
doing!” Rodney snapped, having had enough.  “I’m not going 
to open the damn thing and take a whiff.”

“Let’s get a medical team down here to look this place 
over.  I’d feel much better about it.  Then you can sniff 
all you want.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes, folding his arms across his 
chest.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

Sheppard raised both eyebrows in surprise.  “Don’t make me 
carry you out of here.”

“I’d like to see you try it.”

Sheppard blinked.  “Ok, were you cloned on a planet lately? 
Because I know McKay and you haven’t been acting like him 
in almost two weeks.”

“I assure you Colonel, I’m not a clone,” Rodney said, 
moving toward a console.  “And I haven’t had anything 
happen to me to change my personality if that’s what you’re 
thinking.”

“You’re crankier than usual.”

Rodney glared at Sheppard, but said nothing.  He focused on 
tapping on the controls of the console before him.  
Movement from his right caught his attention and he looked 
up to see Sheppard head toward the screen in the center of 
the room.  

“What is it?” Rodney asked as he moved to get a closer look 
at the screen.  Words scrolled before them and he read them 
as quickly as possible. 

“I should be asking you that,” Sheppard said in a confused 
tone.

“Notes,” he answered as he hurried to get his laptop and 
download what they found.  He unhooked it and jogged into 
the medical lab and hooked it up again. 

“Carson, I think we found something of interest for you,” 
Sheppard said into the earpiece.

“And here I was thinking we should save it for his 
birthday,” Rodney said, rolling his eyes. 

“We found a medical lab,” Sheppard continued as Rodney 
programmed his computer to download the notes.  “And you 
won’t need a hazmat suit.”

Rodney rolled his eyes again as he watched the progress on 
his computer. 

“I’ll translate this and give it to Carson,” he said as he 
typed on the keys.

“Good then we can get out of here, cause this place is 
giving me the creeps.”

Rodney finished the download and unhooked the computer from 
the console.  He glared at Sheppard one last time before 
leaving the room.  

“We need to finish our conversation, McKay,” Sheppard said, 
coming up beside him. 

“What conversation was that?” Rodney asked, not looking at 
the man.  “The one about my blowing up a lab or my 
personality problems?”

“The one where everyone asks you what’s wrong,” Sheppard 
said, stopping in front of him.  

Rodney tried to move around him, but Sheppard only moved to 
block him. 

“Move,” he growled, not in the mood for games. 

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” Sheppard said, 
folding his arms across his chest. 

“Then I guess we’re going to be here awhile.”

“Why don’t you want to tell anyone?  We could help you.”

Rodney shook his head.  “There’s nothing you can do.  It’ll 
only make it worse.”

“Are you sick?”

Rodney stared at the Colonel and rolled his eyes.  “No. 
Let’s get these notes to Carson before we die of old age.”

Sheppard sighed and moved out of Rodney’s way.  The 
scientist quickly headed out the door before the Colonel 
could change his mind.  



































Chapter Five




Rodney walked through fields of yellow and blue flowers.  
The warm breeze blew through his hair and the birds sang 
around him.  The beauty of the place mocked his mood and he 
wished he had stayed home. 

Ahead of him were Sheppard and Elizabeth, talking about how 
lovely the place would be for a picnic.  Behind him were 
Ronon and Teyla, keeping an eye out for Wraith or any 
natives, hostile or otherwise. 

He tried to keep his eyes off Elizabeth, but it was no use.  
Her laughter and soft voice grabbed his attention and held 
it.  It made his mood even worse, knowing her laughter was 
from something Sheppard said.  He averted his eyes as she 
moved closer to the man. 

Trying to take his mind off the cozy couple, Rodney pulled 
out his detector and turned it on.  He grumbled when 
nothing came up on the screen.  Why were they here anyway 
if there was nothing of value for them? 

Rodney looked up and noticed he no longer saw the others.  
He hurried to catch up with them and saw they had gone over 
a hill into the next valley.  He sighed as the group 
gathered around.

“And we are here for what again?” Rodney asked as he joined 
the others. 

“Scoping out my new summer home,” Sheppard said, earning a 
glare from Rodney.

“And the rest of us are here, why?”

“Can’t we just enjoy not getting attacked every mission for 
once?” Sheppard asked, putting his pack on the ground.  
“It’s so nice and it’s a lovely day.  I plan to enjoy it.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes as Sheppard took Elizabeth’s hand 
and helped her sit on the pack.  He turned away, not 
wanting to see the rest of the spectacle. 

“We shall continue on and explore,” Teyla said.

“Have fun,” Sheppard said with a smirk in his voice. 

“Waste of a day,” Rodney grumbled as he climbed his way 
back to the top of the hill.  He turned and saw Sheppard 
lean in to kiss Elizabeth.  His heart sank into his stomach 
and he forced his feet to carry him away from the two. 

Rodney made his way to the line of trees, his detector 
showing no signs of life or energy readings.  He stomped 
through the forest, his mood sour and getting worse by the 
minute.  

“I think I’ll just sit out the next mission,” he growled as 
he came into another clearing.  He stopped and checked his 
detector and rolled his eyes in disgust.  Still nothing. 

He’d have given anything to have something take his mind 
off of Sheppard and Elizabeth.  He closed his eyes and 
sighed, the image of the two pushing to the front of his 
mind. 

Why couldn’t it have been me? Rodney thought in dismay.  It 
hurt seeing the two together, knowing it could have easily 
been him if he hadn’t screwed up.  

He leaned against a tree and stared at the clearing, but 
didn’t see it.  All he saw was what used to be; him and 
Elizabeth walking down a hallway discussing anything from 
saving the city to something he discovered in the lab.  
Those memories continued to appear, reminding him how 
different it had been a year ago.  How much had changed 
since then surprised him and made him even more miserable. 

“McKay, where the hell are you?” Sheppard called in his 
ear.

Rodney opened his eyes, but didn’t move from the tree.  He 
sighed again and pressed the earpiece.  “In the forest, 
staring at a clearing.”

“Teyla found some fruit that’s edible.  We’re going to have 
lunch, so head back.”

“Right,” Rodney said, touching his earpiece.  Somehow food 
didn’t sound at all appealing.  He pushed away from the 
tree and headed back toward the valley. 

It didn’t take him long to reach it, but his feet grew 
heavy with each step.  He didn’t want to see the two laugh 
and share fruit.  He doubted he could handle it. 

I should head back to Atlantis.  They wouldn’t notice I was 
gone.

Rodney stood on the hill and watched as the group gathered 
around on the ground.  A pile of yellow fruit sat in the 
middle of their circle.  His stomach growled, but he 
ignored it, his appetite not up for it. 

He watched as Elizabeth took a slice of fruit from 
Sheppard, laughing at something he said.  Rodney shook his 
head.  They wouldn’t notice him missing at all.  He turned 
to head back to the gate when Elizabeth called to him.  He 
spun around, surprised. 

“There you are, come down here and join us,” she said, 
waving at him as if he didn’t see her.  He always saw her, 
knew where she was even when he didn’t see her.  

He offered her a smile as he headed down into the valley.  
He didn’t want to join them, didn’t want to be amongst this 
much merriment when he was miserable.  He sat outside the 
group as Elizabeth handed him some fruit.  He couldn’t 
bring himself to sit beside her, even if there was an 
opening.  It would be torture and he was never one for 
torture. 

“Find anything?” Sheppard asked, an eyebrow raised.

“No,” Rodney said, his eyes on the fruit in his hand.  It 
wasn’t perfectly round nor completely yellow.  He turned it 
over in his hands.

“It has a sweet taste,” Elizabeth mentioned, handing him a 
slice.  “We should bring some back.”

Rodney took a slice as Teyla said,  “We can try to grow 
some on the mainland.  We should save the seeds.”

“Good idea,” Sheppard said with a smile.  “See it wasn’t a 
waste after all.”

Rodney said nothing as he bit into the slice of fruit.  It 
did have a sweet taste and very juicy.  He licked the juice 
from his chin and noticed Elizabeth staring at him.  He 
looked at her, wondering what she found so interesting. 

“Good isn’t it?” She asked with a smile. 

Rodney nodded, but something told him that wasn’t what she 
wanted to ask.  He had a feeling she wanted to ask if he 
was all right, again.  He doubted she trusted him when he 
told her the last time he was fine.  He suspected no one 
believed he was fine at this point. 

Elizabeth looked at Rodney as he finished off the slice of 
fruit.  She was worried about him and wished he’d tell her 
what was wrong.  He had always been there for her and she 
wanted to be there for him.  

It must be really bad if he won’t even tell me, she thought 
as Rodney bit into the fruit he held in his hand.  It must 
be eating him up inside. 

He looked at her and she realized she’d been staring.  She 
smiled and glanced away, but her concern only grew.  She 
had seen the look in his blue eyes.  What once was vibrant 
and alive was now dull.  She closed her eyes as dread 
filled her being.  She had to get him to tell her what was 
wrong before something happened that they’d all regret. 

~*~

“We have to go back there,” Sheppard said as they returned 
to the gate room.  “That place was amazing.”

“I’m thinking vacation spot,” Elizabeth said as the gate 
shut down. 

Rodney watched the two as they continued up to Elizabeth’s 
office.  He ran a hand over his face and decided to head to 
his quarters instead of sitting in the briefing room in 
misery.  

“Aren’t you joining us?” Teyla asked, but he continued on, 
not wanting to get into it again with his problems. 

Rodney went through the hallways in a daze, his feet taking 
him to his quarters.  He waved his hand over the controls 
and stepped inside, tossing his pack on the floor and 
taking off his black and blue jacket.  He let it fall to 
the floor and resignedly dropped onto his bed.  He closed 
his eyes, but sleep didn’t come.  His mind decided to 
torture him some more with the images of Sheppard and 
Elizabeth.  He groaned and rolled over onto his back, 
trying to push them away. 

“Rodney?” Elizabeth’s voice sounded in his ear.  He sighed, 
realizing he didn’t take his earpiece off. 

“Yes?” Rodney responded, staring up at the ceiling.  The 
image of her face appeared before him and his heart ached. 

“We’re about to have a briefing, where are you?”

Rodney closed his eyes and sighed, pushing himself up.  “I 
thought I’d sit this one out.  I really don’t have anything 
to contribute to Sheppard’s location to his new vacation 
home.”

A smile crept into Elizabeth’s voice and his heart skipped 
a beat.  “All right, but I expect you here for the next 
briefing.”

“Right.  See you then,” he said and pulled his earpiece off 
and tossed it on the dresser next to his bed.  He lied back 
down wishing he could disappear. 















Chapter Six




“I don’t think it’s safe to go,” Elizabeth said, looking at 
each of the Atlantis’ flagship team in turn.
 
Her gaze fell on Rodney and he looked back at her with 
those dull eyes that worried her to no end.  It seemed he 
had gotten worse and the dread she had felt yesterday only 
increased.  She planned to talk to him after this briefing.  
She’d get him to tell her what was wrong even if she had to 
resort to medicating him. 

“According to the Ancient database the pollen from the 
plants on the planet is highly hallucinogenic,” Elizabeth 
said.  “We can’t afford to send anyone even if there might 
be a ZPM.”

“I guess that’s it then,” Sheppard said, standing.  “I’m 
going to take Teyla to the mainland and get to work on 
planting those fruit trees.”

Elizabeth nodded, also standing.  “Good idea.”
She watched the team file out of the room and purposely 
followed Rodney into the hallway.
“I need to talk to you,” she said, startling him.  He spun 
around surprised to see her there.  She offered him a smile 
and he blinked.

“What about?” Rodney asked.

“My office,” she said and headed back into the control 
room.  She heard his footfalls behind her and she led him 
up into her office over looking the gate room. She turned 
as she neared her desk and leaned against it, her arms 
folded across her chest. 

Rodney entered the office, his hands behind his back.  He 
stared at her, waiting for her to speak.  

She allowed herself a moment to look at him.  His dark 
brown shirt hugged him like a second skin and her pulse 
increased.  Surprised at her reaction, she forced her eyes 
up to his and her heart stopped.  She took a deep breath 
and glanced away, not liking the dullness in his eyes.  She 
went around her desk and sat. 

“You can’t keep doing this,” she said, folding her hands on 
the desk.  “You have to talk to somebody.  I know 
something’s wrong, so don’t lie to me, Rodney.”

Elizabeth knew he’d deny it and she beat him to it.  He 
looked away and she knew she was right.  She sighed, but 
she was determined to get him to talk.

“Talk to me, Rodney,” she said.  “What’s wrong?”

Rodney stared at her for a long time.  She had a feeling he 
was trying to come up with something to tell her that was 
far from the truth.  

“I already told you, I’m not feeling well,” he said.

“Maybe you should see Carson,” Elizabeth suggested, knowing 
that wouldn’t go over well.  “Maybe he can find out what’s 
making you feel like this.”

Rodney shook his head and he stepped closer to the desk.  
His eyes sparkled with anger and she mentally smiled.  At 
least she was able to put some life back in his eyes. 

“I highly doubt Carson can help me with this,” he said, 
folding his arms across his chest.  A bit of his normal 
sneer crept into his voice.

Elizabeth rose and went over to him.  He eyed her with both 
caution and something she couldn’t quite place.  She stood 
before him and looked into the blue depths.  She took a 
deep breath to calm the tightness in her chest. 

“I still want him to take a look at you,” she said.  “I’ll 
take you down there myself if I have to.”

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “Fine, I’ll let the doctor poke 
and prod if it’ll make you feel better.”

Elizabeth smiled and he offered her a small smile.  The 
tension lessened.  It was a step in the right direction, 
but she knew they still had a long way to go. 

~*~

Rodney entered the infirmary, Elizabeth right behind him.  
She hadn’t been kidding when she said she’d go with him.  
He grumbled the whole way, but it was something he wanted 
to do for Elizabeth.  He knew Carson couldn’t do a thing 
for him and there was nothing physically wrong with him, 
but he’d humor Elizabeth if only to keep her near him. 

“Elizabeth. Rodney.  What brings you two here?” Carson 
asked coming up to them.

“I want you to look Rodney over,” Elizabeth said, not 
beating around the bush.  “He hasn’t been feeling well and 
I want to know why.”

Carson looked at Rodney, but the scientist only shrugged. 
“Poke and prod away, Carson.”

Carson shook his head and led Rodney over to a bed.  He 
jumped up on it and let Carson check his pulse then nearly 
blind him with a pin light.  He winced as Carson drew some 
blood from his arm.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” Carson asked. 

“Almost two weeks,” Rodney answered before Carson stuck a 
tongue depressor down his throat. 

“Do you have nausea, headaches?”

“No, Carson.”

Carson took his temperature then felt the sides of his 
neck.  Rodney glanced at Elizabeth who was standing off to 
the side, watching him.  He knew she was concerned and only 
taking precautions, but he wasn’t ill.  What he felt was 
worse. 

“Well, his temperature is normal,” Carson said, holding the 
thermometer in front of him.  “I don’t know what to tell 
you.  I can run some tests, but I don’t think he’s sick.”

“I told her that,” Rodney snapped, jumping down from the 
bed.  “She doesn’t believe me.”

“I know there’s something wrong with you, Rodney,” she 
said, narrowing her eyes.  “If you won’t talk to Kate and 
you won’t tell me what’s wrong, what else am I supposed to 
do?”

Rodney stared at her and he knew she was nearing the end of 
her rope.  He didn’t know what to tell her that wouldn’t 
make the situation worse.  He sighed, running his hand 
through his hair. 

“Talk to me, please,” she whispered, taking a step closer.

He felt her body heat beat against him and he opened his 
eyes to see how close she was to him.  He looked into her 
eyes and saw the worry and hurt in them.  He sighed, 
knowing he put them there. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the pain in his heart almost 
unbearable.  He didn’t want to see the look in her green 
eyes and he stepped around her, quickly heading toward the 
door. 

That night, Rodney paced the lab thoughts of the briefing 
running through his head.  He knew they needed the ZPM, but 
he didn’t want to upset Elizabeth.  

I could be back before they even know I’m gone, he thought.  
Course, they probably wouldn’t even notice at all. 

He made another pass in front of his computer.

A gasmask should be enough to prevent the pollen from 
getting to me, his mind made up he went to retrieve his 
gear.

Twenty minutes later, Rodney entered the gate room, his 
backpack slung over his shoulder.  He went up to the 
control room, pushed over the sleeping controller, and 
looked over the DHD console.  He stared at the Stargate, 
taking a deep breath.  He dialed the address to the planet 
with the hallucinogenic plants and watched as it activated.  
He hurried down the steps as the horizon formed before him. 

He pulled the gasmask over his face and stepped through the 
horizon. 

~*~

“Where the hell is Rodney?” Elizabeth asked, standing in 
her office.  She had tried contacting him with the headset, 
but he hadn’t answered.  She had even sent someone to his 
quarters, but he hadn’t answered the door.  She didn’t 
think she could take much more of his strange behavior. 

“Zelenka said he’s not in the lab,” Sheppard said.  “All 
the jumpers are accounted for.”

“Unscheduled off world activation,” Chuck said.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, along with Sheppard, and 
headed to the control room only feet away.

“Who is it?” She asked as she stared at the swirling blue 
even horizon.

“I’m reading Dr. McKay’s IDC,” Chuck answered.

“Where the hell did he go?” Sheppard asked, his tone 
telling her he didn’t think this was funny.  “I’m going to 
check the dialing history.”

“Lower the shield,” Weir ordered as she headed down the 
steps.  Elizabeth didn’t care where he had gone.  She was 
glad he had come back.  

Rodney crossed the Atlantis event horizon and promptly 
collapsed, landing smack on his belly, breaking the 
gasmask.

“Damn it, McKay!” Sheppard shouted as he hurried down the 
steps.  “No one was supposed to go to that planet.”

Elizabeth noticed the large pupils in Rodney’s eyes and she 
realized where he had gone.

“Let’s get him to the infirmary,” she said as Sheppard took 
the scientist’s other arm.  “When did he leave?”

“Probably late last night,” Sheppard answered as they half-
dragged, half-carried Rodney down the hallway.

“The lights are too bright,” Rodney whispered.  “Can 
someone turn them down?”

“The lights are fine, McKay, it’s your brain making you 
think they’re too bright.”

“Why did you go there, Rodney?” Elizabeth asked, knowing 
she probably wouldn’t get a straight answer, but wanting 
him to try.

“Find ZedPM,” was the nearly slurred answer.  “Why is the 
floor made of chocolate?”

John snorted and Elizabeth glared at him.  This was a 
serious matter and not to be taken lightly.  What if the 
plants were some form of citrus?  For all she knew Rodney 
might die and she couldn’t have that.  She didn’t think she 
could take it if anything happened to him. 

Rodney jerked away from them suddenly and began to swat at 
the air.  Elizabeth tried to grab his hands, but he was too 
fast. 

“Can’t you see it?  It’s huge!” Rodney shouted, taking more 
swings at the air. 

“Can I knock him out?” Sheppard asked a little too eagerly.

“No,” she said and made another grab for Rodney’s arms.  He 
looked at her and she saw the rush of emotions in his eyes.  

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and her heart skipped a 
beat.  Warmth flooded her face and she looked away, not 
knowing what to say. 

“There’re butterflies everywhere,” he said and he allowed 
them to lead him to the infirmary. 

Carson had a bed prepared for the arrival and Elizabeth was 
grateful.  All three of them were able to get Rodney on the 
bed, even though he protested saying the bed was a Wraith 
cocoon.  He was quickly sedated so Carson was able to get 
to work. 

“I can’t believe he went there after I said not to,” 
Elizabeth said, running a hand through her hair.  “What 
possessed him to go there?”

“You can ask him when he’s not seeing things,” Sheppard 
answered.  “I’d like to know as well.  Something’s not 
right with him.”

“I wish he’d tell me what’s wrong,” she said, tears 
stinging her eyes.  “Why won’t he tell me?”

“Maybe he doesn’t think you’ll be able to help,” Sheppard 
suggested, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Elizabeth looked over to the bed Rodney laid on.  Carson 
moved around the bed, working on him.  She sighed, closing 
her eyes against the tears.  Something happened to him that 
caused him to isolate himself from her and she wanted to 
know what it was.  

Maybe then I can fix it, she thought. 

Carson joined them a few minutes later and Elizabeth waited 
with dread on the news. 

“I have him sedated,” Carson said.  “I’ll run some tests on 
him, but if you’re right, he probably inhaled some of the 
pollen from the planet.  The blood will tell me how much 
and then I can figure out how long it’ll take him to get 
over the effects.”

Elizabeth nodded and went over to the bed.  She looked down 
at Rodney’s sleeping form and her heart ached.  She ran her 
hand through his hair, blinking back the tears which 
threatened to fall.

I wish I could read your mind, she thought.  Maybe then I’d 
find out what’s wrong with you.

“I should have the results in a couple of hours,” Carson 
said softly beside her, obviously sensing her distress. 

“Keep me posted,” Elizabeth said and headed to the mess 
hall.  She wanted something stronger than coffee, but it 
would have to do at the moment. 




Chapter Seven




Rodney slowly opened his eyes to a blurry white room.  He 
blinked several times to clear his sight and saw Carson 
hovering over him.  He groaned, closing his eyes. 

“What happened?” He asked, his mouth dry and his throat 
rough. 

“That’s what we’d all like to know,” Carson answered as he 
opened Rodney’s eyes and shown a light in them.  “It 
appears you went to the LSD planet.”

“LSD planet?” Rodney asked as he tried to sit up.  Carson 
pushed him back down as he checked Rodney’s pulse. 

“Sheppard called it that after you returned from there.  
You were stoned out of your mind.  You were seeing things 
like a chocolate floor and giant bugs.”

Rodney groaned again.  He had thought the gas mask would 
have been enough to protect him, but obviously the pollen 
seeped through his skin and infected him anyway.  He shook 
his head, running a hand over his face. 

“Elizabeth?”

“She’s worried sick,” Carson answered.  “She doesn’t know 
what’s wrong with you and she’s at her wits end on how to 
get you to talk to her.”

Rodney sighed.  He didn’t want to put her through any of 
that, but he was certain if he told her it would only make 
things worse.  Besides, she was happier with Sheppard, 
wasn’t she?  

He looked over to Carson, who stared back with concern. 

“From what she’s told me there is something going on.  
You’ve got your entire lab walking on eggshells and your 
friends are worried sick about you, including me.  Why 
don’t you tell someone, lad, before it gets any worse?”

Rodney closed his eyes, “It’s Elizabeth.  I think I’m in 
love with her.”

Carson gasped in surprise.  “Oh, you poor lad.  It must 
hurt to see her with John.”

“You have no idea,” he whispered, the misery filling his 
very being.  “Why doesn’t she like me anymore?”

“She cares about you, Rodney,” Carson retorted.  “Get some 
rest and you’ll see.”

~*~

Rodney woke to the sound of soft voices.  He opened his 
eyes and saw Elizabeth talking to Carson.  She glanced over 
at him and he offered her a slight smile.  She turned her 
gaze back to Carson and his heart sank.  He stared at the 
ceiling, the ache of her disregard tearing into him. 

I should have stayed on that planet, he thought in despair. 

“How are you feeling?” Carson asked, bringing Rodney’s 
attention to him.  The doctor held a bundle of clothes in 
his hands. 

“Depends on what you mean by feeling,” Rodney answered 
snappishly. 

“Well, that answers that question,” Carson remarked as he 
placed the clothes on a nearby table.  He then removed the 
wires from Rodney’s chest.  “I guess you can return to 
work.”

“Good,” Rodney said, sitting up.  A wave of dizziness came 
over him, but it quickly passed.  He grabbed his clothes 
from the table and put them on. 

“Try not to bite anyone’s head off.”

Rodney glared at Carson, but said nothing.  All he wanted 
to do was get something to eat and be by himself for 
several hours.  

“I’ll try not to,” he growled and stalked out of the 
infirmary. 

Rodney stepped into the mess hall and went over to the 
serving line.  He piled food onto his plate and headed for 
a table.  

He spotted Elizabeth eating with Teyla and Sheppard.  He 
took a deep breath to stop the longing he felt.  He went 
toward a table off to the far side of the room and sat.  He 
stared at his food, but his appetite had gone.  He pushed 
the unappealing food around on his plate.  His stomach 
growled and he sighed, knowing he had to eat or pass out. 

Rodney couldn’t taste the food, but he forced himself to 
eat it.  He watched as Elizabeth walked out of the mess 
hall, Sheppard’s arm around her.  He stared at the doors 
long after they had left.  

He shoved his tray away and headed for his lab.  He needed 
to take his mind off the pain and loneliness he felt. 

Rodney entered his lab and barked orders, startling his 
already scared staff.  The few scientists who had more 
confidence stared at him, but he shouted for them to get a 
move on.  It promptly ended that confidence streak. They 
scattered as he turned on a laptop on a nearby workstation.

“You didn’t have to yell at them,” Radek said, coming up 
behind, earning a glare from Rodney. 

“I’m not in the mood, Radek,” he snapped as he turned his 
attention back to the screen.  “They can deal with it.”

Rodney ignored what ever Radek said and focused on the 
screen before him.  He needed to take his mind off his 
feelings for Elizabeth, but so far all he saw was her face, 
smiling at everyone but him.  It only increased his 
downward spiral and his temper.  

“Dr. McKay,” a woman’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Not now!” Rodney snapped, not giving the woman a glance.  
He saw the woman leave from the corner of his eye.  He felt 
eyes upon him, but he ignored them and continued to try to 
focus on the screen in front of him. 

A crackle of electricity and a scream sound on the other 
side of the lab.  Rodney jumped from his seat and rushed 
toward the sound of the disturbance.  He stared in surprise 
at the woman who had interrupted him a moment before. 

“What the hell happened?” Rodney demanded as he knelt 
beside the woman.  He checked her pulse and was relieved to 
find one. 

“She tried to run tests on this device,” another scientist 
stated, showing Rodney the device.  

Rodney looked at the device then at the woman as the 
medical team lifted her onto the gurney.  He sighed, 
realizing he had caused her injury.  

I could have prevented it if I had given her a minute, he 
thought in despair. 

“Maybe you should take time off,” Radek suggested from 
beside him.

Rodney glared at the man as the medical team hurried out of 
the lab.  “You think I’m losing it, too?”

“You have been snapping at everyone for past week.  
Everybody is on edge when you enter lab.”

Rodney stared at the screen before him, but he knew Radek 
was right.  He closed his eyes and sighed, knowing he 
couldn’t keep Elizabeth out of his mind. 

“Fine,” he said, standing. “I’m counting on you to make 
sure this lab stays in one piece.”

Radek nodded in surprise in his dark eyes.  Rodney left the 
lab even more miserable than before. 

____


Elizabeth stood in the briefing room the next morning, her 
main team sitting around the large table.  All, but one.  
She stared at the empty seat and sighed.  Rodney was late.  
She had received a report from Zelenka that he had snapped 
at his staff again, but had left the lab at Radek’s 
request.  

“He probably over slept,” Sheppard suggested.  “I can bang 
on his door if you want.”

“He has been acting strange lately,” Teyla remarked softly.  

“For several days,” Ronon put in.  

Elizabeth shook her head and leaned back in her chair.  
Even though she was worried, she knew he’d show up 
eventually.  She glanced in the direction of the doors and 
they slowly opened revealing a rushed Rodney McKay.  

“Sorry,” he said softly as he hurried to his chair.  “I 
over slept.”

She smiled as she glanced at Sheppard, who smirked. She 
looked at Rodney as he sat in his chair and noticed his wet 
hair.  His black and blue jacket was over a black shirt 
that needed to be ironed by the looks of it.  He must have 
showered and dressed in a hurry.  

“Thanks for joining us,” Elizabeth said, getting his 
attention.  A stab of pain went through her heart when she 
saw his expression.  He obviously didn’t get any sleep last 
night and it showed in his eyes.  What ever was still 
bothering him was getting worse if it affected his sleep.  
She looked away, clearing her throat. 

“What can you tell us of these Indolans?”

“They are a peaceful people,” Teyla answered.  “They have a 
village not far from the gate.  They are quite similar to 
my people in culture and daily life.”

“You think these people will be willing to trade with us, 
Teyla?” Elizabeth asked. 

“The Indolans are always looking for new people to trade 
with,” Teyla answered.  “They will welcome us.”

“Good.  I wish you luck on your mission then,” Elizabeth 
said, standing.  “See you soon.”

Elizabeth watched as the team filed out of the room.  She 
followed after them, keeping her eyes on Rodney.  She had 
expected him to say something during the meeting.  He never 
refused an opportunity to make some comment or other about 
their missions.  She sighed as she stood on the balcony and 
watched the Stargate activate.  

She smiled as Sheppard saluted her before he stepped 
through the gate.  The others followed after him, Rodney 
being last. 

Rodney looked up at her and a cold chill went down her 
spine.  The despair in his blue eyes scared her to the 
point she wanted to stop him from leaving.  She opened her 
mouth to say something, but he already stepped through the 
gate. 

Fear rushed through her as she stared at the gate as it 
shut down.  Her heart raced as she hurried into the control 
room. 

“Dial the gate,” she said, startling the man at the 
controls.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just dial it,” she demanded as she stared at the gate, 
hoping she wasn’t too late.

The gate activated a moment later and Elizabeth touched her 
earpiece.

“John, are you there?”

“I know you worry, but this is ridiculous,” John’s voice 
reached her ears.  “I’m starting to think you’re never 
going to let me go anywhere.”

Elizabeth would have smiled, but the look in Rodney’s eyes 
appeared in her mind.  “Where’s Rodney?”

“He’s here, grumbling as usual.  We forgot to check to see 
if it was night or day on this planet before we left.  I 
had to check to see if I hadn’t been struck blind.”

“John, keep an eye on Rodney,” Elizabeth said, putting the 
fear she felt in her voice.  She wanted him to know how 
serious she was.  “I think he’s worse.”

“I can send him back,” John suggested.

Elizabeth was about to agree, but she knew he wouldn’t take 
kindly to being taken off a mission.  If anything it would 
only push him off the deep end and that terrified her. 

“Just watch him, please John.”

“Don’t worry, Elizabeth, I’ll bring them all back in one 
piece.  See you soon.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes as the gate shut down.  The fear 
and dread hadn’t let up, in fact it grew.  She wiped at her 
eyes only now realizing she’d been crying.  She took a deep 
breath and headed into her office.  She couldn’t shake the 
feeling that something would happen on that planet. 

“Oh, Rodney,” she whispered as she placed her head in her 
hands. 
































Chapter Eight




Rodney turned on the light on his P-90 as did the others.  
They stood on a sandy beach, the sound of a river rushing 
to their left.  The light from the P90s and the moon 
revealed a rocky hill to their right and a line of trees 
behind them.  

“I bet this place is nice in the daytime,” Sheppard said 
and Rodney rolled his eyes.

“Planning a winter home now?” Rodney drawled.

“No,” Sheppard said and motioned for Teyla to lead the way. 

“The village is this way over the hill and across an open 
field.”

“I hope they’re awake at this hour,” Sheppard remarked as 
he followed Teyla toward the tree line. 

Rodney sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  He really 
didn’t want to be here, but he had to get away from 
Atlantis.  He didn’t think he was able to take much more.  
He’d admitted to Carson and himself that he was in love 
with Elizabeth.  The fact only made her relationship with 
Sheppard hurt more.  

I can’t do this anymore, he thought as he followed after 
the team.  I can’t keep seeing her with him.  It hurts too 
much. 

He stopped and watched as the team went into the forest.  
He looked behind him into the darkness and made his 
decision.  They wouldn’t miss him.  They’d probably be 
better off without him. 

Rodney headed in the opposite direction, following the 
river to who knew where. 

He looked up at the hill, judging the possibility of 
climbing it.  It was too steep at the moment, so he 
continued down the beach, also searching for a way to wade 
across the river.  The current moved too fast for it to be 
accomplished.  He sighed and forced himself to plod on. 

The moon traveled across the sky before Rodney was able to 
find where he’d be able to climb the rise.  He grumbled as 
he trudged up the hill, the fire from the torch slowly 
dying. 

He made it to the top and looked around.  The wind blew 
through his hair, cooling his face.  Insects buzzed around 
him attracted by the light of the fire.  He waved the torch 
around, but the bugs remained.  He saw lights toward his 
left filtering through the forest.  He doubted those were 
the Indolans, he was too far from the gate plus the fires 
didn’t look inviting.  

Figures, Rodney thought as he continued on, hoping to avoid 
these natives.  

An animal called mournfully in the distance and he felt the 
pain deep in his heart.  If he was able to howl, he’d 
probably sound like that.  

Rodney entered the forest and his stomach growled.  He 
pulled a power bar from a vest pocket and tore it open with 
his teeth.  He bit into it as he ducked under a low hanging 
branch.  

A rustling to his right made him pause.  He extended his 
arm with the torch in the direction and saw a bush moving 
as if something was behind it.  He held his breath, his 
right hand slowly going toward his gun.  He jumped back as 
a rabbit sized animal burst out of the bush and raced 
deeper into the forest.  He released his breath, shook his 
head and continued on, chewing on his power bar. 

Fatigue made him stop an hour later.  He leaned against a 
tree trunk, the torch long since died out.  He forced 
himself to continue on, searching for a place to sleep. He 
found a small clearing and relief washed over him.  He 
tossed his pack on the ground then followed it down, not 
caring if the ground was cold and uncomfortable. 

Rodney stared up at the stars and the depression he had 
been feeling since he had seen Sheppard kiss Elizabeth 
swept over him in a wave.  He closed his eyes, trying to 
force it down.  He’d miss her the most and the pain of the 
loss stabbed through him. 

“Elizabeth,” he whispered, his voice cracking.  Blessed 
sleep came over him and he surrendered to it. 

~*~

Rodney’s first waking moments were of pain. Joints and 
tendons voiced their anger in the form of tightness and 
clenching pain.  He groaned as he sat up.

Last time I sleep on the ground, he thought as he ran a 
hand over his face.  

Rodney looked around his surroundings and noticed Sheppard 
really was right.  The place was beautiful during the day.  
The trees were tall and full of dark green leaves.  A warm 
breeze blew through them.  The light green grass swayed 
like waves in an ocean in reaction to the gentle wind.  
Purple flowers sent a relaxing fragrance to his nose and he 
breathed it in.  He sneezed a moment later, but the scent 
was too lovely to pass up. 

Like Elizabeth, Rodney thought then regretted it.  He 
closed his eyes as he remembered her perfume.  He always 
took the opportunity to take in her lovely scent, now he 
would never smell it again.  

He sighed and forced himself to stand.  He brushed off the 
leaves and dirt from his dark clothes and picked up his 
pack.  He pulled out another power bar and munched on it as 
he trekked deeper into the forest. 

He had no idea of his destination nor did he care.  The 
team was probably back on Atlantis by now with news of 
their new trading partners.  He wondered briefly if they 
would actually miss him, but he pushed it aside.  

A twig snapped behind him and he turned, his hand going for 
his gun.  

It’s probably another animal, Rodney thought as he scanned 
the trees and bushes for movement.  

A tall man in a brown tunic and buckskin pants stepped from 
behind a tree, a bow in hand.  An arrow was aimed at Rodney 
and he froze, his pulse pounding.  He slowly raised his 
hands, hoping to pass as harmless. 

“Hello,” he said calmly.  “I’m just passing through.  I’ll 
be going on my way.”

The man narrowed his eyes and pulled back the bowstring.  
Rodney’s eyes widened.

“Hey, now wait a minute!” Rodney shouted, going for his 
gun, but he wasn’t fast enough.  Pain shot through him a 
second later.  He looked down and saw the arrow embedded in 
his stomach.  He clutched his abdomen and stared at the 
man, who walked toward him. 

A wave of pain swept over him and he fell to his knees.  
Rodney pulled his gun out of the holster and fired at the 
man.  The man ran back into the trees as Rodney lost 
consciousness. 

~*~

John Sheppard stared off into the distance as the clouds 
began to gather in the sky.  The forest offered no answers 
to the question of where Rodney McKay had disappeared to.

“McKay, this is Sheppard.  Where the hell are you?” 
Sheppard demanded into his earpiece for the umpteenth time.  
As it had been the norm for the past three hours, no 
answer. 

Damn it, where are you? Sheppard thought as he turned 
around and headed back into the village. 

He had noticed Rodney was gone when he hadn’t heard 
anything from him on their way to the village.  Looking 
back, he saw Rodney was no longer there.  He had wanted to 
go back to the river and look for the scientist, but Teyla 
had told him they were expected soon.  

Sheppard was more than worried now, fearing Rodney was 
injured or worse. 

What the hell was he thinking? Sheppard thought as he 
entered the one story inn.

He was angry with himself.  He had told Elizabeth he’d keep 
an eye on Rodney.  He had failed her and the scientist.  
Rodney’s disappearance was preventable if only John had 
done what he promised. 

“We need to go look for him,” Sheppard said when he saw 
Teyla and Ronon sitting at a table.  “Something could have 
happened to him.”

“That is more likely than you think,” their host, a man in 
his fifties said.  “Especially if he ran into one of the 
Hylians.”

“Hylians?” Ronon asked, raising an eyebrow and twirled his 
gun.

“They are an offshoot of the Indolans,” the man said, 
coming up to them.  “They broke off centuries ago.  They 
did not like us doing away with the old ways.  They are 
more aggressive to newcomers when we wanted to be more 
peaceful. They do not take kindly to anyone trespassing in 
their territory.  They’ll attack first.”

A rush of dread washed over Sheppard at the news.  If 
Rodney did come across one of these Hylians, he could very 
well be dead.  

“We have to find him,” he said. “He might be hurt and 
scared.”

The man nodded.  “Be careful.  If he is in Hylian 
territory…”

“We can take care of ourselves,” Sheppard said, raising his 
P-90.  He then looked toward Teyla and Ronon.  “Let’s go.”

John led the way out of the inn and down the dirt street.  
He had to find Rodney.  As much as the man got on his 
nerves, he loved Rodney like a brother.  

Elizabeth would never forgive me if anything happened to 
him.

“We probably lost him by the river,” Sheppard said as they 
left the village.  “We should start there.”

“I’ll check for his footprints,” Teyla offered. 

“Good idea.”

“I’ll scout ahead,” Ronon said and jogged in advance of 
them.

It started to rain as they made their way down to the 
river.  Normally, he didn’t mind the rain.  It was 
refreshing and clean, but now it gave John a sense of 
urgency.  The rain was cold and if Rodney was injured and 
hadn’t found shelter, he could easily catch a cold or run a 
fever.  He shook his head, pushing the thoughts aside. 

We’ll find him, he told himself as he watched Teyla search 
for Rodney’s footprints.  

“He went this way,” Teyla said as she stood.  “I believe he 
was following the river.”

“To where?” John asked as he followed Teyla down the beach. 

“I don’t know.  This river is very long.  Even the Indolans 
don’t know how far it goes.”

John had a bad feeling it went straight into Hylian 
territory. 

“The rain will wash his prints away,” he said as he picked 
up the pace.  “We need to hurry.”

Teyla nodded and jogged down the beach.  The rain fell 
harder making it difficult to see anything.  They wouldn’t 
be able to follow his tracks in the sand now.  He shook his 
head, but hurried along, hoping they found Rodney soon.

“This way!” Teyla shouted pointing where the hill was 
easier to climb.  “He had to have gone up here.”

John didn’t waste time and motioned for her to climb.  He 
followed up after her and they met Ronon at the top.

“He went in there,” Ronon said, pointing toward the forest.  
“I can see campfires. I’m betting those are the Hylians.”

John stared at the forest, wiping the rain water from his 
face.  Lightening flashed across the sky and the urgency 
surged through him.  He didn’t care how many Hylians there 
were.  They weren’t going to stop him from finding Rodney.

“Keep an eye out for Hylians,” he said, leading the way 
again.  

“Want me to shoot first?” Ronon asked, drawing his favorite 
weapon and move the setting.

“Sure, give them something to think about,” John answered 
as they trudged across the field toward the forest. 

Thunder sounded in the distance, startling John.  He shook 
his head, picking up the pace.  He jogged into the forest a 
moment later as more lightening raced across the sky. 

Ronon moved ahead of the group, checking the bushes and 
branches for any sign Rodney had come this way.  John held 
his breath, waiting. 

Please be nearby, he thought. 

“He went this way,” Ronon said and John sighed in relief. 

Twenty minutes later, they found a form lying on the 
ground, an arrow sticking from its mid-section.  Dread 
filled John as he hurried toward the figure.

“McKay!” John shouted as he knelt beside the scientist, 
checking for a pulse.  He closed his eyes in relief when he 
found one.  “We have to get him to the gate.”

“We have company,” Teyla said calmly.

John looked up and saw two men aiming arrows at them.  He 
stood, aiming his P-90 at them.

“We’re taking our friend to the gate,” he said as the two 
moved closer.  John fired over their heads and the two 
stepped back.  “Get in our way and we won’t hesitate to 
shoot you and believe me, you won’t survive it.”

The men stared at John then at the rest of his team.  He 
hoped the Hylians were thinking about leaving.  He didn’t 
want to waste any more time.  Rodney wasn’t in good shape 
and if they delayed much more he wouldn’t make it to the 
gate. 

The men lowered their weapons and slowly disappeared into 
the forest.  John breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his 
weapon.  He turned his attention to Rodney.

“He probably shot his attacker,” Ronon said, motioning to 
the gun in Rodney’s hand. 

“Hope he hit the bastard,” John said.  “Let’s get him out 
of here.”








































Chapter Nine




Elizabeth sat in her office reading reports from Lorne’s 
team.  She stared at the same paragraph for the past 
several minutes, her mind on Rodney.  She closed her eyes, 
laying the papers on her desk.  She ran her hands over her 
face, but only saw the expression in Rodney’s eyes when he 
left for the Indolans’ planet yesterday. 

She had a nightmare last night Rodney had died.  It had 
unnerved her and she feared it would come true if she 
didn’t get through to him.  She had no idea how, though. 

“Off world activation!”

Elizabeth quickly stood and headed toward the control room.  
She stared at the gate, her heart racing. 

“I’m reading Sheppard’s IDC.”

“Lower the shield,” she said and hurried down the steps. 

“We have a medical emergency,” Sheppard said through the 
gate.   “Get Carson now!”

Fear filled Elizabeth, but she didn’t hesitate as she 
called Carson to the gate room.  She kept her eyes on the 
gate, her only thought was the nightmare coming true. 

Ronon stepped through first and her eyes widened, her heart 
stopped at the sight.  A body was slung over Ronon’s left 
shoulder.

“What happened?” Elizabeth asked in a near whispered. 

Ronon stared at her as Carson and his team arrived in the 
gate room.  “McKay was shot.”

“Oh, God,” she whispered as John and Teyla ran into the 
gate room next.  She stared at John, tears stinging her 
eyes.  She went to him, anger chasing away her fear.  “I 
told you to watch him, John.”
“I thought he was behind us,” John answered.  “We didn’t 
know he was gone until we got to the village.”

Elizabeth shook her head and turned to watch Ronon place 
Rodney on the gurney.  She swallowed a gasp when she saw 
the arrow.  She closed her eyes as Carson rolled the gurney 
to the infirmary.  Warm arms wrapped around her, but she 
wasn’t in the mood to be comforted.  

“What happened out there?” She asked, keeping her eyes 
closed. 

“How about we go into your office and discuss this,” John 
said, his voice subdued. 

She nodded and led the way into her office.  Dread and fear 
settled in the pit of her stomach as she sat at her desk.  
She didn’t think she’d be able to stand much longer.  She 
looked up at John, who appeared as she felt.

“One minute he was there, griping, and the next he was 
gone,” John said, pacing.  “I don’t know what possessed him 
to leave and go exploring on his own.  He’s never done that 
before unless he found some energy reading.”

“You think he found something?” Elizabeth asked.

John shook his head.  “He would have announced it to the 
world if that happened.  I don’t know what’s going on with 
him lately.  He’s much more snappish than usual.  It’s 
almost as if he wants to pick a fight.”

Elizabeth sighed and covered her face with her hands.  “How 
can I get him to talk to me?”

“Beg.”

She stared at him.  Had he lost his mind?  “You want me to 
beg?”

John shrugged.  “You haven’t tried that, yet. He seems to 
respond well to crying, too.”

Elizabeth smiled slightly then sighed.  “I don’t want him 
to die.”

“He’s not going to, Elizabeth,” John said, going to her.  
“He has the best medical doctor taking care of him.”

Elizabeth allowed John to embrace her, but the dread and 
fear was still there.  She closed her eyes, wishing there 
was a way to get through to Rodney. 

~*~

Rodney slowly opened his eyes to blurry vision.  Gradually 
he blinked, trying to clear his sight.  He gazed around the 
room until he caught movement to his left.  He looked over 
and saw Elizabeth sitting beside his bed.  He stared at her 
for several moments, not believing she was actually there. 

“Elizabeth?”

“I’m here, Rodney,” she said, stroking his hair.  He closed 
his eyes as the sensations stirred within him.  He tried to 
fight them down, but couldn’t.  Her nearness meant too much 
to him. 

She does care, he thought in surprise. 

“You gave us quite a scare,” she said, getting his 
attention.  “What were you thinking, leaving like that?  
Did you find something?”

“Hostile natives,” he quipped. 

Elizabeth smiled slightly and his heart soared.  Making her 
smile raised his diminished spirits. 

“Carson said you were in the rain for quite awhile and have 
a fever,” she continued.  

“Great, just what I need,” Rodney said, his voice rough 
even to his ears.  He did feel a bit warm, though.

“I know you don’t like being here, but we need to get the 
fever down.”

“Wonderful.”

Elizabeth continued to stroke his hair and it soothed him.  
He watched her and noticed the concern in her green eyes.  
He took a deep breath, but he already knew what she was 
concerned about. 

“What’s wrong?”

Elizabeth smiled.  “I wanted to ask you that.  I’m so 
worried about you, Rodney.  Why won’t you talk to me?” 

Rodney closed his eyes, wanting to tell her, but knowing it 
wouldn’t do any good.  She loved Sheppard, not him. 

“Do you like me?” Rodney asked.

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, sitting back in her chair.

“Answer, please.”

Elizabeth sighed, folding her arms across her chest.  She 
looked away and he feared the answer.  He closed his eyes 
and sighed.

“Nevermind,” he answered softly, his heart sinking.  
“You’ve already answered it.”

“I don’t see what my answering that question has to do with 
the way you’ve been acting,” she said, her voice on the 
verge of desperation.  “You’re scaring me, Rodney.”

Rodney looked at her and saw the fear in her eyes.  He 
mentally berated himself for putting it there. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, reaching out to her.  She took 
his hand, giving it a squeeze and he offered her a small 
smile. 

“I care about you,” she said.  “I want to know what’s 
bothering you so I can fix it.  I don’t want to lose you.”

Those words meant more to him than she realized.  She 
deserved to know the truth and he opened his mouth to 
speak, but Sheppard appeared with Carson.

“Doc says visiting hours are over,” Sheppard said with a 
smirk.  “He needs to rest.”

“I’ll see you Tomorrow,” Elizabeth whispered and followed 
Sheppard out of the room.

Rodney closed his eyes and sighed.  It was best she didn’t 
know anyway.  

“You were about to tell her,” Carson said.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Rodney said.  “She loves 
Sheppard.”

“She deserves to know, lad.  She can’t keep wondering and 
fretin’ what’s wrong with ye.”

Rodney stared at Carson and knew he had to tell her.  He 
hoped it wouldn’t make things worse. 

“Fine, I’ll tell her,” he whispered as sleep took over. 

Elizabeth entered the infirmary the next day and saw Carson 
tending to Rodney.  Taking a deep breath, she stepped over 
to them. 

“How is he?” She asked as she watched Carson mop the 
scientist’s forehead.

“His fever broke this morning,” Carson answered without 
looking at her.  

“That’s good,” Elizabeth said, a wave of relief washing 
over her.  

Carson finally looked at her and concern filled his eyes.  
He went to her saying, “Have you been sleeping, Elizabeth?”

“No,” she answered.  “I’ve been having nightmares.  About 
Rodney.”

She looked at Rodney lying in the bed.  He lied so still 
she had to keep telling herself he was alive.  She closed 
her eyes.

“We’re all worried about him,” Carson said softly.  

“None of you are terrified,” she said, turning her gaze to 
Carson.  “I keep getting the feeling that one day he’ll die 
and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“I take it has something to do with his recent behavior 
change?”

Elizabeth nodded and sighed.  “I’m going to have to watch 
him myself.”

Carson smiled at her, shaking his head.  “He won’t take 
kindly to that.  And he’d wear you out.”

“It’s the only way I know I can be sure he’s safe,” she 
said.  “And maybe I can find out why he’s acting this way.”

Carson handed her a clean damp cloth and grinned.  “Then I 
suggest you get started.  I’m sure he’ll love waking up to 
your charming face.”

Elizabeth smiled, taking the rag.  She went over to the 
bedside and sat.  Taking the cloth, she wiped Rodney’s 
forehead. 

~*~

Rodney woke and wanted to go straight back to sleep.  He 
had never felt so drained in his life.  He groaned and 
instantly something cool and soft was placed on his 
forehead.  He turned his head and saw Carson beside him. 

“Evening,” Carson said with a smile.  “How’re you feeling?”

“Tired,” Rodney whispered. 

“That’s to be expected.  You’ve been fighting a fever.  We 
were finally able to get you temperature back to normal.”

“Great,” Rodney said as he stared at the ceiling. 

“Elizabeth will want to talk to you when you’re ready,” 
Carson said suddenly.

Rodney stared at the doctor in surprise.  Elizabeth wanted 
to talk to him?  Probably about what was wrong with him.  
Again.  He sighed.

“What about?”

“She’ll tell you herself,” Carson answered with a secret 
smile. 
“Now, I’m curious,” he said, narrowing his eyes at the 
doctor.  “Care to bring her in here?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Carson said and tapped his 
earpiece.  “Elizabeth, Rodney’s awake and can’t wait for 
you to talk to him.  You’re welcome.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and stared at the ceiling as he 
waited for Elizabeth to show up.  His mind wandered to what 
she wanted to talk to him about, but it all came back to 
what was wrong with him.  He needed to tell her.

He was drifting back into sleep when Elizabeth arrived.  He 
smelled her perfume and he breathed it in, calming him in 
the process.  He opened his eyes and saw her smiling down 
at him.  His heart skipped a beat and he returned her 
smile. 

“How are you feeling?” Elizabeth asked as she sat beside 
him. 

“Better,” he answered, drinking her in.  He felt much 
better now she was here. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said, not wasting anytime. 
“I’ve been worried sick about you to the point I’ve been 
having nightmares.”

Rodney stared at her in surprise.  He had no idea it had 
gotten to that point.  He tried to sit up, but a stab of 
pain sent him back to the bed.  She looked at him with 
concern in her eyes, but he shook his head. 

“I didn’t know you’ve been having nightmares,” he said.  
“I’m so sorry.”

Elizabeth waved his apology away.  “It doesn’t matter.  
From now on we’re going to be spending a lot of time 
together.”

Rodney’s eyes widened in shock.  Was she saying what he 
thought she was saying?  He blinked at her, his pulse 
racing at her proposal.  “What do you mean?”

“I’m going to be keeping an eye on you,” she answered, her 
eyes narrowing and her voice broking no argument.  “I won’t 
take no for an answer and you’ll just have to put up with 
me.”

Rodney blinked several times, taking in the news.  He 
didn’t know what to make of her idea.  He didn’t like the 
thought of her watching him everyday, but he loved the fact 
she’d be around him again. 

“What does Sheppard say?”

Elizabeth shrugged.  “I haven’t told him, yet, but I need 
to do this, Rodney, for both our sakes.”

“Fine, but I’ll drive you up the wall,” Rodney said, 
smirking. 

Elizabeth smiled and stroked his hair.  “You drive me up 
the wall anyway.”

Rodney laughed for the first time in a very long time. 





























Chapter Ten




Rodney opened his eyes to a quiet room.  All he heard was 
the beeping of the monitor beside him.  The lights in the 
room were dimly lit, allowing the nurses and doctors to see 
their patients and so they wouldn’t stumble. 

Movement to his left brought his attention to Carson.  The 
man was surprised to see him awake and offered a slight 
smile. 

“Look who’s awake,” Carson said, moving around the bed to 
the monitor.  

“Can I get out of here?” Rodney asked, feeling restless.

“I plan to release you later today,” Carson answered.  
“You’re good as new as far as I’m concerned.”

“Great,” Rodney said, throwing the bed sheets off him.  He 
attempted to get up, but Carson stopped him.

“Not right now, Rodney,” Carson said.  

“I’m starving, Carson.  I don’t think going to the mess 
hall is going to strain me.”

Carson sighed and Rodney raised an eyebrow. 

“All right,” Carson said, giving in.  

Rodney smiled and jumped out of bed.  He grabbed his 
clothes, pulled them on and headed out the door. 

He entered the mess hall and saw Elizabeth with Sheppard.  
The two were in line getting something to eat.  Sheppard 
brushed her hand with his as they retrieved their trays. A 
wave of longing washed over Rodney followed by the pain of 
loss.  He closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths.  

He watched as the two went to a table and sat.  His heart 
racing, he slowly backed out of the room.  He heard 
Elizabeth laugh as he headed down the hall. 

What made me think she actually cared?  Rodney thought as 
he headed for his room. 

He stepped into his quarters, tossing his jacket on the 
floor.  He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.  He 
sighed, the ache in his heart growing unbearable.  

What am I to do? Rodney thought.  How am I to pretend 
everything’s fine when she’s around him?

His stomach growled, but he ignored it.  He couldn’t go 
into the mess hall and watch as the two laughed over their 
lunch.  He hated being miserable when she was so happy.  He 
closed his eyes wishing he’d never come to Atlantis.
 
~*~

Elizabeth entered the infirmary, heading toward Rodney’s 
bed.  She stopped short when she saw the empty bed. 

“He left for the mess hall,” Carson said behind her.  

She turned around, shaking her head.  “I didn’t see him 
there.”

Carson blinked in surprise.  “He was complaining about 
needing to eat.  He told me he was going to the mess hall.  
Maybe he snuck past you.”

Elizabeth shook her head, looking back to the bed.  She 
sighed and tapped her earpiece.

“Rodney, come in please.”

No answer.  She stared at Carson as she swallowed the fear 
before it bubbled up.  Maybe he took off his earpiece and 
forgot to put it back on.  She took a deep breath and tried 
again.

“Rodney,” she said louder.  “Are you there?”

“What is it?” Came a sleepy voice. 

Elizabeth sighed in relief and the tension left her body. 
“Where are you?”

“In bed,” Rodney grumbled, his voice thick with sleep.  “Is 
something wrong?”

Just my nerves, Elizabeth thought.  Aloud, she said, “No, I 
just want to know where you’re at.  No one told me you left 
the infirmary.”

“Sorry,” was all Rodney said.  

Elizabeth pictured the scientist in bed, rolling his eyes 
and holding back a sarcastic comment.  The image brought a 
smile to her face.  Warmth flooded her body as the image 
changed, revealing his naked chest.  Her breathing 
increased and her heart raced.  

Where had that come from? She pushed the image from her 
mind before she embarrassed herself any further.

“That’s all right, Rodney,” she said, hoping she didn’t 
sound as aroused as she felt.  “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“Don’t worry about it.  I need to get up anyway.”

Elizabeth smiled.  “I’ll see you later then.  Weir out.”

She tapped her earpiece and looked at Carson, who stared at 
her.  She sighed, folding her arms across her chest. 

“He was in his quarters,” she said.  “He didn’t go to the 
mess hall.”

Carson shook his head.  “He told me that’s where he was 
going.”

“I’m not saying anything to the contrary.  Maybe he changed 
his mind.”

“It must have been something to get him to change his mind 
about eating,” Carson said.  “Or maybe he was just trying 
to get me to release him early.”

“That sounds about right,” Elizabeth said, smiling.  “I 
better get to watching him.”

“That you do.  I hope you figure out what’s been bothering 
him.  I’m afraid he might really get himself hurt.”

“So do I,” Elizabeth said, the fear threatening to swell.  
She pushed it down and left the infirmary to find Rodney.  
She knew he’d be in his lab if nowhere else. 

Rodney headed into his lab and everyone came to a 
standstill.  He stared at them, wondering why they had 
stopped.

“What?” He snapped, irritated.  “Don’t you people have 
something to do?”

The staff scattered before he said anything else.  Rodney 
went over to his laptop and brought up the information he’d 
attained from the Ancient flash drive.  He scrolled through 
the data until something caught his eye.  He clicked on it 
and the information filled his screen. 

“What are you doing?”

Rodney jumped at the voice then looked up, a nasty retort 
on his lips.  It disappeared when he saw Elizabeth standing 
over him. 

“Elizabeth,” he said, stunned to see her before him.  

“I missed you at the infirmary,” she said, smiling.  

He looked away as his pulse sped up.  He closed his eyes, 
trying to force his arousal down.  It didn’t work and he 
took a deep breath to calm himself.

“He was going to keep me there,” Rodney said, staring at 
his screen.  “There were things I needed to do here.”

Elizabeth moved closer and the warmth of her nearness 
washed over him.  He closed his eyes again, wanting to 
breathe in her perfume.  He wanted to take her in his arms 
and hold her forever. 

“You found another lab to explore?” Elizabeth asked, 
bending over to get a better look.  “That area is 
dangerous.  I don’t think you should go down there.”

“You’re going to suggest I take Sheppard?” Rodney asked as 
he downloaded the map to the location. 

“No one should go down there,” Elizabeth said, 
straightening to her full height.  “That area was flooded, 
there might mold and mildew and someone might get sick, 
especially you with your allergies.”

“I can wear a mask while I’m down there,” Rodney put in, 
wondering why she was so worried about a little trip into 
the deeper part of the city.  There were still areas they 
hadn’t explored, yet.  He didn’t want to pass up such an 
opportunity like this. 

“You’re not going, Rodney,” Elizabeth said.  

He saw her reflection in the computer screen; her arms 
folded and her expression one of determination.  She wasn’t 
going to let him go anywhere.  He rolled his eyes and 
sighed. 

“Fine,” he grumbled as he turned off the computer. “Want to 
tell me what I can and can’t eat as well?”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Rodney,” Elizabeth snapped.  “I don’t 
want you to get hurt and if I can prevent it, I will.  If 
that puts a damper on what you want to do, then so be it.  
At least, you’ll still be alive to gripe about it.”

Elizabeth stormed out of the lab and he watched her go.  He 
sighed and ran a hand over his face.  She was only trying 
to help and she did say she planned to watch him.  He shook 
his head then caught Radek staring at him. 

“What?”

“She is very worried about you,” Zelenka said.

“So everyone tells me.  Apparently she’s taken it upon 
herself to watch me.  I don’t know why.”

“Probably to stop you from going to very dangerous area of 
city,” Zelenka said as he headed back to the other side of 
the lab.

Rodney shook his head as he stared at the computer screen.  
He sighed as his stomach growled.  He hadn’t had anything 
to eat since leaving the infirmary.  He grumbled as he 
stood then grabbed the edge of the table as a wave of 
dizziness washed over him.  He closed his eyes, waiting for 
it to pass. 

“Are you all right?” 

“No,” Rodney snapped as he opened his eyes and stared at 
Zelenka.  He went around Radek before the other scientist 
could ask another stupid question and headed for the mess 
hall. 

“McKay,” Sheppard called to him, stopping Rodney in the 
hallway.

“What?” Rodney asked, folding his arms across his chest.  
He was in no mood to talk to Sheppard at the moment.  He 
wasn’t in a mood to talk to anyone.  All he wanted was to 
get something to eat.

“Elizabeth is coming with us on our next mission,” Sheppard 
said.  

Rodney narrowed his eyes.  What was Sheppard up to?  Was he 
trying to make him insane?

“Why?  It’s going to be a boring mission.”

“She told me she’s taken it upon herself to watch over 
you,” Sheppard said, folding his arms across his chest.  
“This is what you’ve reduced her to, your babysitter.  Why 
don’t you tell her what’s wrong with you?  She and I need 
to have a vacation from you.”

“Why don’t you go and have your vacation!” Rodney snapped, 
his temper getting the better of him.  He stepped closer to 
Sheppard, glaring at the taller man.  “I don’t know what 
she sees in you.  Is it the bravery, the charm?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sheppard asked, his 
expression one of confusion and growing anger.  “At least I 
don’t get on her nerves with my warm personality!”

Rodney hit Sheppard, causing him to take a step back.  
Sheppard stared at him in surprise, but Rodney didn’t care.  
He had enough of Sheppard and the fact he had Elizabeth’s 
affections.  Ignoring the passersby, he took another swing 
at Sheppard.  It was blocked by the other man’s forearm.  
Sheppard hit Rodney in the jaw, sending him stumbling back. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Sheppard asked as he 
strode over to him.  

Rodney glared at Sheppard as he tested his jaw.  He’d bit 
his tongue and he tasted the blood.  Angered beyond reason, 
he took another swing at Sheppard, connecting with his jaw, 
splitting his lip in the process.  Sheppard snarled and 
shoved Rodney into the wall, knocking the wind out of him. 

Sheppard pushed him against the wall.  He held his arm 
under Rodney’s chin.  He glared at Sheppard as he tried to 
get the man off him.

“What is the matter with you, McKay?” Sheppard asked. 

Rodney’s temper snapped.  He brought his knee up, 
surprising Sheppard.  The other man backed away, bent over 
and breathing hard.  Rodney followed him, bringing his 
fists down on Sheppard’s back.  Sheppard cried out and fell 
to one knee.  He grabbed Rodney’s leg and yanked it out 
from under him.  Rodney exclaimed in surprise and fell onto 
his back. 

“You’ve completely lost it!” Sheppard said.  He grabbed 
hold of the front of Rodney’s shirt and yanked his head up. 

“According to some, I lost it long ago,” Rodney said, 
taking a swing at Sheppard’s head.  It connected and 
Sheppard fell to the side off of Rodney.  Rodney grabbed 
Sheppard’s collar and was about to pound him into the floor 
when Sheppard slammed his fist into Rodney’s side.  He fell 
onto his back, holding his side. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Elizabeth’s voice brought 
their attention to her. 

“He hit me!” Sheppard stated, getting to his feet.  “He’s 
insane.”

Rodney glared at Sheppard as he held his side.    He looked 
up at Elizabeth, her green eyes narrowed.  She folded her 
arms across her chest as she stared at both of them. 

“The last time I checked this wasn’t high school,” she 
said.  “You’re grown men, find some other way to settle 
your differences what ever they are.”

“I tried to talk to him,” Sheppard said as Rodney slowly 
climbed to his feet.  

“Was that before or after the fight?” Elizabeth asked, 
raising an eyebrow.

“Before,” Sheppard drawled.

“Go to the infirmary, both of you,” she said, shaking her 
head.  She turned and headed back down the hall before 
either of them was able to say another word. 


































Chapter Eleven




Rodney stepped through the gate and onto the rolling plains 
of a planet.  He grumbled as the wind blew through his hair 
as if it were trying to rip it off.  He walked passed the 
DHD as the rest of the team came through the gate. 

“Welcome to Kansas,” Rodney said as he brought out his 
computer.  “I think I can see the other side of the planet 
from here.”

“Then maybe you can use your eyes to see something of 
interest,” Sheppard said.

“Shut up, both of you,” Elizabeth snapped as she walked 
passed the DHD.  “If there are people on this planet I 
don’t want them to think we can’t get along.”

“Fine,” Sheppard said as he took the lead.  “Everyone stay 
together and no wandering off.”

Rodney said nothing as his computer finally booted up.  He 
tapped some keys, keeping one eye on the path and the other 
on the screen.  

“What are you looking for?” Elizabeth asked, startling him.  
He looked at her in surprise then at the screen. 

“Energy readings,” he answered.  “Hopefully there’s 
something on this planet of interest besides grass.”

“I’m sure there’s something.”

Rodney nodded, but so far nothing showed up on the screen.  
He sighed and looked at Elizabeth.  He rolled his eyes and 
stared off into the distance.

“You didn’t have to come along,” he said softly.  “I knew 
this planet wouldn’t have anything of interest on it.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” she said, placing a hand on 
his arm. 

The warmth from her hand sent liquid fire through his body.  
He looked at her, into her green eyes and was drawn into 
them.  His heart raced at her nearness, his desire for her 
nearly taking over.  He inhaled her perfume, closing his 
eyes as he breathed it in. 

“Rodney?” Elizabeth asked, squeezing his arm.  “Are you all 
right?”

Rodney opened his eyes and saw they had stopped.  He 
glanced in the direction the team had gone.  They were 
behind, really behind.  He turned his gaze to Elizabeth and 
sighed. 

“I’m fine,” he said as he continued on his way.  I just 
want you so bad I can’t think straight.

“I told you not to wander off,” Sheppard said as Rodney 
cleared the hill.  

He glared at the other man, but said nothing as Elizabeth 
came up behind him.  He saw the dark expression in 
Sheppard’s eyes, but made no comment.  Let the man think 
whatever he wanted.  He was past caring.  Maybe Sheppard 
would become angry enough to put him out of his misery.

“Let’s keep moving,” Sheppard said and headed down the 
other side of the hill.

Rodney shook his head and glanced at his laptop.  Still 
there weren’t any readings.  He grumbled as he typed on the 
keys. 

“There has to be something here,” he whispered.  “It can’t 
be completely devoid of everything.”

“Rodney, it’s all right if we don’t find anything,” 
Elizabeth said calmly, her hand on his back. 

He sighed again and felt her soothing touch all the way to 
his bones.  He closed his eyes briefly, thankful for her 
being here.  

“It’s enough just being here,” she told him.

Rodney offered her a smile then his computer beeped.  He 
looked down at it and excitement bubbled inside him. 
“Finally,” Rodney whispered as he typed on the keys.  
“There’s something here!”

Sheppard turned, an eyebrow raised.  Rodney jogged to catch 
up to them.

“Energy readings,” he said, bringing his computer around.  
He pointed to the white blimp on the screen.  “This looks 
like the ruins of a building over here.” 

“Well, now this planet isn’t so boring after all,” Sheppard 
said, earning a glare from Rodney.  “Lead the way.”

Rodney shook his head and took the lead, listening to the 
sound of the beeping.  As it grew louder, he knew the ruins 
were closer.  The excitement increased and soon he jogged 
toward the ruins.

“This way!” He shouted as he saw the ruins up ahead 
surrounded by a dispersion of trees and bushes.  

There were several buildings scattered across the land.  
Some were still intact with four walls and a roof, while 
others were nothing more than foundations.  Several of them 
were crumbling stone, monuments to a long ago civilization. 

The beeping was beyond noisy now as he closed the gap 
between him and the town.  He heard Sheppard yell for him 
to stop, but he ignored him.  He was focused on finding the 
source of the beeping.  

Movement to his right brought him to a halt.  What the 
hell?  There are still people here?

“Hello?” Rodney called as he cautiously stepped toward the 
movement.  He was able to make out a tall shape through a 
window of a crumbling building.  His hand went to his gun, 
deciding to be suspicious until otherwise. 

“Dr. McKay,” a familiar voice said.  “We have to stop 
meeting like this.”

Rodney’s heart raced in trepidation as Kolya stepped from 
behind the building.  The man eyed him with both malice and 
glee.  Rodney took a step back, not liking what might be 
going on in the man’s mind. 

“I take it you found something,” Kolya said, eyeing the 
computer in Rodney’s hands.  

“What are you doing here, Kolya?” Sheppard asked behind 
Rodney.  

Rodney didn’t turn around, but relief flooded him.  He kept 
his eye on Kolya as he slowly drew his gun. He aimed it at 
Kolya, hoping he wasn’t shaking too much.

“The same reason you are,” the man said, his hands behind 
his back.  “I’m searching this planet for something 
fascinating.  I see Dr. McKay found that something.”

“We’re not sharing,” Sheppard said, standing beside Rodney.  
From the corner of Rodney’s eye, he saw Sheppard had his P-
90 aimed at the Genii soldier. 

“Ah, Dr. Weir, maybe you can convince these two to help me.  
It is in all our best interests, after all.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes as he forced himself not to pull 
the trigger.  Threatening Elizabeth was not in this man’s 
best advantage.

“Leave her alone,” he growled.

Kolya looked at him and smiled.  He stepped closer, but 
Rodney pulled back the hammer on his gun.  The man stopped, 
but continued to smile. 

“Protecting her again, I see,” the man said, causing 
Rodney’s anger to rise.  “Will you give me what I want if I 
leave her alone?”

“Fine, just leave her alone,” Rodney said, putting his gun 
away.

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said.  

“I’m not going to let him touch you,” Rodney said, turning 
his face to her.  He was surprised she was so close to him.    
He saw the fear and worry in her eyes and he wanted to 
comfort her.  He wanted to tell her he would be fine.  They 
both knew better, but it was better him than her. 

“You’re not going anywhere with that monster,” Sheppard 
whispered to him.  “Let me shoot him.”

“I forgot to tell you that you are surrounded,” Kolya said 
as if he’d heard Sheppard.  “They’ll pick you off if you 
try to shoot me.”

“There went that plan,” Sheppard said with a roll of his 
eyes.

“It’s the only way to get out of this alive,” Rodney said.  
“Get out of here when you can.”

“McKay,” Sheppard said, but Rodney was already making his 
way to Koyla. 

“Good choice,” Kolya said.  “To make sure you don’t try 
anything, they’ll be kept here until my men hear from me.”

Rodney grumbled to himself, figuring the man would pull 
something like that.  He shook his head and took one last 
look at Elizabeth.  She stood beside Sheppard, flanked by 
Teyla and Ronon.  He smiled at her, trying to tell her it 
would be all right, even though he knew it wouldn’t.  Kolya 
wasn’t the kind of man to release his hostages in one 
piece. 

“Move it!” Kolya said, pushing Rodney down the path.  
“Where is it?”

“Keep pushing and you’ll be kissing my computer,” Rodney 
growled.

“And you’re lovely Dr. Weir will be shot.  Keep moving.”

Rodney grumbled under his breath, but kept moving.  He 
looked down at his computer screen and saw they were almost 
there.  He pointed in the direction they needed to go 
without looking up.

“That way,” he said and turned right. 

~*~

Elizabeth stared in the direction Rodney and Kolya had gone 
in.  The fear threatened to send her into hysterics, but 
she forced it down.  She had to be calm for all their 
sakes.  

He has to come back, Elizabeth thought as she folded her 
arms across her chest.  I don’t know what I’d do without 
him. 

She closed her eyes and pictured Rodney in one of his 
happier moods, his eyes sparkling with excitement over some 
artifact or an idea he came up with.  It was then she 
realized she hadn’t seen that look in his eyes in weeks.  
Something had gone wrong and she had no idea what happened.  
She missed the fire and she wanted to see it again. 

What will it take?  Elizabeth thought with a sigh.  What 
can I do to get him to open up to me?

She looked toward the forest as if it offered the answers 
she needed.  She saw movement and caught a glimpse of a 
Genii soldier, his gun aimed at them.  

Kolya wasn’t lying, she looked at John who stared at his 
gun as if he had never seen it before.  She raised an 
eyebrow as he looked at her in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”  Elizabeth asked. 

“W-what is this thing?” John stuttered in bewilderment.

She widened her eyes in surprise as she stared from him to 
the P-90 and back again.  “Excuse me?  You don’t know what 
a P-90 is?”

John shook his head, dropping the gun and backing away from 
it in horror.  He looked at her, panic in his eyes.  What 
was wrong with him?

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked, reaching out to him.

John backed away from her as if her hand was a snake and 
might bite him. 

“Who are you?  Who am I?  What am I doing here?”

Elizabeth looked to Teyla and Ronon and saw equal 
expressions of surprise.  Teyla stepped forward and placed 
a hand on John’s arm.  He turned to look at her then 
quickly backed away from her as if she hit him.

“Who are you?  Get away from me!” 

“I am Teyla,” she answered, her voice calm as if she talked 
to a child.  “You are Colonel John Sheppard.  We are here 
exploring this planet.  Do you remember anything at all?”

“No,” John said, staring at his surroundings.  “I don’t 
remember a thing.”

“We have to get him back to Atlantis,” Elizabeth suggested.

“What’s Atlantis?” John asked, fear in his voice. 

Elizabeth reached out to him again, but he backed away.  He 
truly was afraid of them and didn’t know who they were.  
She had to get him to trust them or else they would never 
get him back to Atlantis. 

“It’s all right,” she said, her voice soft.  “We want to 
help you.  We’re your friends.”

“You can trust us,” Teyla said, her voice also calm and 
soothing.  “We won’t hurt you.”

A gunshot sounded in the distance and everyone stilled.  
Elizabeth’s heart pounded in her chest as she looked into 
the ruins of the town.  The sound had come from there. 

“Rodney!” Elizabeth shouted, fear choking her.  

She started to run into the ruins when Teyla grabbed her 
arm.  She stared at the other woman, wanting to hit her for 
stopping her.

“Kolya might shoot you,” she said softly.  

“Rodney might need our help,” Elizabeth pushed, wanting to 
go to him and see if he was all right.  Trepidation filled 
her, causing her to shake.  She didn’t want to think about 
what might await her in the ruins. 

“I’ll go with her,” Ronon said, pulling his gun from its 
holster.  “Take Sheppard back.”

Teyla glanced from Ronon to Elizabeth.  Elizabeth pleaded 
with her eyes to take Ronon’s suggestion.  

“Be careful,” Teyla said.  She took a reluctant John’s arm 
and led him away toward the gate. 

Elizabeth looked into the forest and saw their guards had 
disappeared.  Grateful for small wonders, she picked up 
John’s gun and followed Ronon into the ruins. 

She heard shouting toward her right and she swallowed 
passed the lump of fear in her throat.  Ronon pressed 
himself against the deteriorating walls of a building and 
she did the same.  They silently moved along the wall, the 
shouting growing louder.

Elizabeth’s heart raced and a thousand scenarios of what 
they would find went through her head.  She took several 
deep breaths to calm herself and forced herself to focus on 
getting to Rodney.  

“I will shoot your precious Dr. Weir if you do not tell me 
what this thing does,” Koyla snarled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rodney shouted 
back, pain in his voice.  “I don’t even know where I am!”

Fear raced through Elizabeth at those words.  John had said 
similar words.  She believed there was something on this 
planet that had affected them.  The situation was made 
worse by the fact Koyla might kill Rodney because of it. 

“We have to get to him,” Elizabeth whispered to Ronon.

“Not a problem,” the man said as he stepped away from the 
wall, aiming his weapon.

She followed Ronon and her stomach dropped.  Rodney was 
lying on the ground, Koyla standing over him.  Koyla kicked 
Rodney in the stomach.  He cried out and curled into a 
fetal position to protect himself.  Elizabeth felt as if 
she had been kicked in the stomach.  She aimed the P-90 at 
Koyla and stepped forward.

“Get away from him!”

Koyla stopped before he hit Rodney in the head with his 
gun. He stared at her in surprise.  He stood straight, 
smiling.

“Well, I must admit I’m surprised to see you,” Koyla stated 
calmly.  “What did you do to my men?”

“They ran off,” Ronon said.  “Listen to her and step away 
from him.”

Koyla stared at Rodney and made a motion to hit him, but 
Elizabeth fired her gun at Koyla’s feet.  The man jumped 
back, staring at her in shock. 

“Leave him alone,” she said, her eyes narrowed.  She took a 
step forward, determined to get Rodney away from this 
madman.  

“I will make you regret this, Dr. Weir,” Koyla said as he 
moved backwards.  

“Get out of here,” she said, not interested in his threats. 

The man glared at her, but then jogged toward the woods.

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, dropping the gun and rushing to 
his side.  He curled tighter into a ball, but she gently 
touched his shoulder.  “It’s all right.  You’re safe.”

Blue eyes stared at her and she saw the fear and pain in 
them.  Her heart ached, knowing that he probably didn’t 
know who she was.  

“Can you tell me what happened?” She asked softly, stroking 
his hair. 

Rodney relaxed and allowed her to help him sit up.  He 
cried out in pain and she flinched.  He closed his eyes, 
breathing raggedly.  She ran her fingers through his hair 
and they came away wet with sweat. 

“Rodney, can you hear me?” Elizabeth asked, placing her 
hands on his shoulders.  She leaned him back against the 
pedestal she’d only now noticed.  

“Who are you?” Rodney whispered, his blue eyes filled with 
pain.  

Elizabeth shook her head as she looked him over.  He had a 
split lip she had no doubt from Koyla hitting him.  She 
gently removed the vest, flinching as he gasped.  His 
jacket was next, dropping it on the ground beside her.  Her 
hands came away wet and she looked down at them.  Her heart 
dropped as she saw the blood.  She turned her gaze to 
Rodney, who was unconscious. 

“That bastard shot him,” she said as she checked for a 
pulse.  Relief washed over her when she found one.  She 
ripped his shirt open, revealing more blood on his chest.

Swallowing the fear threatening to spill over her, she 
grabbed his vest.  She rummaged through the pockets until 
she found some gauze.  She pulled it out and wiped the 
blood away, exposing a gunshot wound.  Panic welled up 
inside her and she closed her eyes to force it away.  
Rodney needed her and she wasn’t about to let him down. She 
pressed the gauze against the wound, trying to stop the 
bleeding. 

“Rodney, can you here me?” Elizabeth asked, touching his 
face.  “Rodney?”

Rodney slowly opened his eyes and stared at her.  She knew 
he didn’t know who she was, but she had to get through to 
him. 

“I’m going to help you,” she said gently.  “My name is 
Elizabeth Weir.  I’m going to take you home to Atlantis.”

Rodney slipped back into unconsciousness and she took a 
deep breath to keep calm.  She turned to Ronon, who moved 
toward them.  She stood as the tall man lifted Rodney to 
his feet. 

“Careful,” Elizabeth said, taking Rodney’s other arm.  
“Let’s get out of here.”








Chapter Twelve




Carson was waiting for them as they came through the gate.  
A gurney was pushed closer to them and Ronon placed Rodney 
on it.  Elizabeth looked over at John who stared at them 
all in bewilderment.  She sighed and watched as Carson 
looked Rodney over. 

“We have to move, now!” he shouted and pushed the gurney 
himself.  His team followed him and the fear prickled the 
back of her neck. 

She followed after them to the infirmary, her heart racing.  
She ran a hand through her hair then realized her hand was 
covered in blood.  She stared at it as tears stung her 
eyes. 

“What happened?” Teyla asked calmly.

Elizabeth looked at the other woman then at her hands.  
“Koyla shot him.  If we hadn’t gotten there when we did, 
Rodney’d be dead.”

“He looked beaten,” Ronon said behind them.  

Elizabeth shook her head, not wanting to picture Koyla 
striking Rodney.  She led the way into the infirmary, 
hoping for good news and dreading the bad. 

The infirmary was in chaos when Elizabeth entered it.  
Carson shouted orders as nurses ran around the room getting 
what the doctor asked for.  Carson hovered over Rodney 
lying on the gurney as a nurse started an IV.  Rodney was 
hooked up to a machine to monitor his vitals.  

Feeling helpless, Elizabeth left the infirmary and stood in 
the hallway.  Ronon and Teyla joined her followed by John.  
She looked at John, who leaned against the wall, his arms 
folded across his chest. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, trying to distract 
herself from what was going on in the room behind her. 

“Better,” he said with a sigh.  “Teyla filled me in on what 
happened.  Carson can probably tell you more, but from what 
I understand there is something on that planet that made me 
forget everything.”

“He started to become himself again twenty minutes after we 
came through the gate,” Teyla put in.  

“Rodney didn’t remember anything either,” Elizabeth said.  
“I think Koyla beat him because of it.”

“If that’s the case then it only affects those with the 
gene,” John said.  “Do you think what Rodney found caused 
the memory loss?”

Elizabeth shook her head.  “I don’t know.  Maybe he can 
tell us.”

Two hours later, the doors opened and an exhausted Carson 
stepped out into the hall.  Elizabeth stood from her place 
on the floor and took a deep breath.  The look on Carson’s 
face told her it wasn’t good. 

“I removed the bullet,” he told them wiping his forehead 
with the back of his hand.  “It was touch and go for a 
moment there.  Another couple of inches to the left and 
he’d be dead.  I scanned him and he has a couple of broken 
ribs, not to mention a concussion.  Luckily there’s no 
internal bleeding, because it looked like he was beaten 
nearly to death.”

“Koyla kicked him,” Elizabeth said calmly.  “I wouldn’t 
doubt he did more before we got there.”

Carson nodded and sighed.  “He’s stable and he’ll recover 
in time.  Why don’t you get some rest?  You can see him 
Tomorrow.”

Elizabeth nodded and looked toward the rest of the group.  
They concurred even though she saw they wanted to check on 
their team mate just as she did.  

“Thanks, Carson,” she said turning back to the doctor.  
“We’ll see you Tomorrow then.”

~*~

Rodney slowly opened his eyes to the familiar beeping of 
the monitors.  After a few moments, his vision cleared and 
he glanced around his surroundings.  He saw Carson checking 
up on another patient across the room.  Other than what he 
saw, the infirmary was quiet. 

Carson turned and headed toward him.  He smiled when he saw 
Rodney was awake.

“Ah, Sleeping Beauty’s awake,” Carson said as he went over 
to the monitor on Rodney’s right side.

“Very funny,” Rodney whispered.  He tried to sit up, but 
Carson placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“I wouldna advise doing that, even with the pain 
medication,” the doctor said.  “You’ve been beaten pretty 
badly, not to mention you were shot.”

Rodney winced at the thought and set himself more 
comfortably on the bed.  He tried to remember what had 
happened on the planet, but all he was able to recall was 
the ruins.  

“I can’t remember anything,” he said. “What happened?”

“Elizabeth said you ran into Koyla,” Carson answered as he 
moved around the bed.  “She said he demanded you take him 
to the source of the readings or he’d hurt her.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes in anger and wished he had shot 
the man.  

“She said both you and John lost your memories.  You didn’t 
know who you were or what you were doing there.”

“Come again?” Rodney asked, staring at the man as if he had 
a second head.  “We just forgot?”

“You forgot everything,” Carson said.  “It was only when 
John came here did he start to remember.  We hoped the same 
would be true for you.”

“Obviously, it was,” he quipped. 

“Elizabeth was scared to death,” Carson stated, changing 
the subject.  “We all were.  You came too close to dying.”

Rodney looked at Carson then at the ceiling.  He closed his 
eyes and sighed.  He wanted to see Elizabeth more than 
anything.  He wanted her to know he was all right and 
hadn’t meant to frighten her. 

“Where is she?”

“It’s late, she’s probably in bed.  Want me to call her?”

Rodney shook his head.  It could wait till the morning.  
She needed her sleep as much as he did.  Probably more. 

“You’re doing much better than three days ago,” Carson 
said, his voice lighter.  “I’d like to keep you here for 
another day, just to make sure everything’s healed.”

Rodney said nothing, too tired to even complain about 
staying in this uncomfortable bed for another day.  

Elizabeth visited him in the afternoon of the next day and 
he was grateful to see her.  His bed was adjusted so he was 
able to sit up without much pain.  The IV had been removed 
as well as the monitor.  His space in the infirmary was 
much roomier which signaled to him he was well enough to 
leave.  He smiled at her as she sat beside his bed.  

“Did Carson say I can leave, yet?”  Rodney asked, hoping he 
could. 

Elizabeth smiled and touched his arm sending an electrical 
shock through his body.  His heart raced in reaction to the 
desire rushing over him.  He stared into her eyes wanting 
to tell her about his feelings. 

“He told me he is releasing you in time for lunch,” she 
said, a sparkle of humor in her eyes.  “You must be 
starving.”

“Very funny, Elizabeth,” Rodney said, but was touched by 
her concern. 

“I’m glad you’re all right,” she said, squeezing his arm.  
“You had us all scared.”

“So I’ve heard,” Rodney said softly.

Elizabeth sighed and moved closer to him.  She leaned 
forward, her expression serious.  “For the past several 
weeks, you’ve put yourself in danger.  I’m beginning to 
think you’re trying to get yourself killed.  I want to know 
why.  Does it have anything to do with the way you’ve been 
behaving?”

Rodney looked away, not wanting to see the gamut of 
emotions in her green eyes.  She was terrified and he was 
the cause.  He didn’t want to generate anymore torment for 
her.  He sighed, closing his eyes. 

“I’m not suicidal,” he remarked calmly.  “I don’t think I 
can be here any longer.”

“What?” The shock in Elizabeth’s voice caused Rodney to 
look at her.  She stared at him as if he had lost his mind.

“You can’t be serious?  You’re needed here more than you 
know.  There’s so much for you to get your hands on, I 
don’t even know where to begin.  How can you pass that up? 
And now of all things?”

Rodney shook his head and stared at the ceiling.  He didn’t 
want to tell her that her relationship with Sheppard was 
the reason he wanted to leave.  He couldn’t stay here, 
knowing he would never have her.  

“If I can find a way to fix it, will you stay?” Elizabeth’s 
soft voice brought his attention to her.  

She was serious about wanting him to stay; he could see it 
in her eyes.  He wanted to stay with her, wanted to explore 
this galaxy and all it had to offer.  The problem was his 
defeated heart wasn’t in it.  

“I doubt you could fix it,” he whispered.

“Let me be the judge of that,” she said.  The tone of her 
voice told him she wasn’t about to give up that easily.  

I love you.  The words were on the tip of his tongue, 
threatening to burst forth.  He knew he couldn’t say it, 
for it would only make things worse for both of them.  He 
took a deep breath, pushing the words away. 

“I’m not leaving until you tell me, Rodney,” Elizabeth 
said, reaching out and grabbing his hand.  

The motion startled him and he stared at their clasped 
hands.  He blinked several times as the warmth spread 
through him.  He raised his eyes to meet hers and he saw 
the concern, determination, and something else in her green 
eyes.  He was so overwhelmed by her actions that his mouth 
worked before his brain was able to stop it.

“I love you.”





































Chapter Thirteen




Elizabeth blinked several times as Rodney’s words echoed in 
her mind.  She shook her head, her heart racing in 
reaction.  Did he say what she thought he said?

“What?”

Rodney looked away, trying to pull his hand from her grasp. 
She squeezed it, holding it tight.  She wasn’t about to let 
him retreat into himself.  Was this what had caused his 
behavior for the past month? 

“Forget I said it,” he said, trying again to pull his hand 
away.  She tugged at it, wanting him to look at her. 

“You love me?” Elizabeth asked, attempting a different 
tactic.  “For how long?”

He stared at her, his blue eyes darkening with mixed 
emotions.  They played across his face until he blinked and 
they were gone.  

You’re not going to shut away from me, she thought.  “How 
long, Rodney?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, sighing.  “For awhile.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“And ruin your relationship with Sheppard?  I’m not that 
callous!”

Elizabeth stared at him for several minutes, his words 
going through her mind.  Her relationship with Sheppard was 
what had caused Rodney’s torment?  She leaned back in her 
chair, releasing his hand.  She closed her eyes, guilt 
washing over her.  She had no idea of his feelings for her 
and she’d been too blind to see it.  

I should have known, she thought.  

“That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you,” Rodney said 
softly.  “I didn’t want to cause you any pain.”

Elizabeth looked at him and saw the guilt and sorrow in his 
eyes.  She offered him a smile as she touched his shoulder. 

“I’m the one who caused you heartache,” she said, squeezing 
his shoulder.  “I knew something was wrong, but I should 
have known what it was.”

“I’m very good at hiding what I’m feeling,” he said.  “You 
wouldn’t have known anyway.”

“I tried,” Elizabeth whispered, running her fingers through 
his hair.  The surprise of his revelation lessened and she 
was left with a muddle of emotions.  She was amazed Rodney 
had feelings for her.  He knew he cared about her, he had 
proved it numerous times.  She never suspected his 
affection went so deep. 

She didn’t know how to take his declaration.  She cared 
about him and she hoped he realized that.  She knew she 
hadn’t been as congenial to him in the past weeks, but she 
wanted to change that. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Rodney said, bringing her out 
of her thoughts.  “I can’t stay here.”

“Rodney,” she said, her heart sinking.  He was still 
thinking of leaving?  How can he do that when they needed 
him?  “You can’t leave.”

“It hurts too much to see you with Sheppard,” he said 
averting his gaze to the ceiling.  “And I don’t want you to 
doubt your feelings for him.”

A clearing of a throat prevented Elizabeth from what she 
wanted to say.  She looked up and saw Carson standing in 
front of Rodney’s bed, his hands in the pockets of his lab 
coat.  The doctor appeared embarrassed for interrupting 
such a private moment.  She offered the man a smile and 
stood. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I thought I’d let Rodney go,” 
he said.  “I’m sure he’s in a great hurry to get out of 
here.”

“About time,” Rodney grumbled.  “I think I have bed sores.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at him.  If she didn’t know him 
better, she’d swear she had spoken earlier to someone else 
entirely.  She recognized what he was doing.  He was hiding 
behind his sarcasm.  He looked at her and she saw the raw 
emotions in his eyes.  Her heart ached for him and she 
wanted to ease his pain.  If only he’d let her. 

“I’ll let that pass for now,” Carson said as he handed 
Rodney some fresh clothes.  “Try not to end up here any 
time soon.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and Elizabeth took the opportunity 
to give the scientist some privacy.  

“I’ll see you later,” she said.

“Yeah,” he replied, offering her a slight smile.  

She returned it then left the infirmary.  She had a lot to 
think about and she wanted to do so alone.  She had to find 
a way to convince Rodney to stay.  

I just wish I knew how, she thought as she stepped out of 
the transporter and headed toward the mess hall.  

She strolled into the cafeteria and grabbed some food.  She 
made her way to a table, thoughts of Rodney drifting 
through her mind.  It seemed one problem had been solved 
only to create another.  She sighed as she sat.  She stared 
at her plate as the sense of loss threatened to overwhelm 
her.  

I don’t want him to leave, Elizabeth thought.  How can I 
convince him to stay?  What will it take? 

She barely tasted the food as she worried over Rodney.  She 
sighed as she pushed her fork around her plate.

“You look thoughtful,” John’s voice caught her attention.  
She looked up and he smiled as he sat in front of her. 

“Care to share?”

“I found out why Rodney has been acting the way he has,” 
Elizabeth said, sighing.  She leaned back in her chair, 
folding her arms across her chest. 

“Good.  What is it?”

“It’s bad enough to make him want to leave,” she said 
softly. 

“What?” John asked, the surprise in his eyes conveying what 
she felt.  

“He doesn’t believe he can stay here.  I don’t want him to 
leave, but I don’t know how to convince him.  I don’t know 
where to start?”

“Have you tried telling him he’s needed here?” John asked, 
the surprise still in his voice. 

She nodded, running a hand through her hair.  It was the 
first thing she had told him.  “I just don’t think it’s 
enough.”

John pushed away from the table and stood.  “I’m going to 
tell him he’s an idiot for wanting to leave.  Whatever is 
bothering him he needs to find a way to get over it.”

Elizabeth didn’t think it was a good idea, but before she 
was able to stop John, the Colonel was out the door.  She 
sighed then stood, her appetite forgotten.  

~*~

Rodney sat in front of his computer reading his 
resignation.  He carefully looked over the words, making 
sure it was clear what he wanted to convey.  He sighed as 
he sent the document to the nearest printer.  

He really didn’t want to leave.  For the first time in his 
life, he’d found a place he could call home.  He knew he 
was needed here.  They couldn’t very well divert disaster 
without him.  

He couldn’t get by the thought of Elizabeth being with 
Sheppard.  The thought sent his heart into his stomach.  
The ache of the loss was unbearable and he knew it would 
only get worse if he remained. 

I can’t watch her with him, Rodney thought as he plucked 
the paper from the printer.  He looked it over then signed 
it.  

“What do you have there, Rodney?” Sheppard’s voice caused 
the scientist to look up.  The man had his arms folded 
across his chest, a look of curiosity, worry and 
determination in his eyes. 

“It doesn’t concern you,” Rodney said, stepping past 
Sheppard and into the hallway. 

“You’re not getting away that easily,” Sheppard said, 
following after him.  “Elizabeth told me what you’re 
planning to do.”

“Oh, really?” Rodney asked, stopping.  He glared at the 
other man, folding his arms across his chest.  “What would 
that be?”

“She says you want to leave,” Sheppard answered.  “She 
doesn’t want you to leave, you know?”

Rodney sighed.  Her reaction to his news told him as much.  
He looked away, wishing he could stay.  

“You need to get over it,” Sheppard said suddenly.  “It 
can’t be that bad, McKay.”

Rodney stared at him.  “It’s worse.”

He turned to walk away, but Sheppard grabbed his arm, 
forcing him to look at the man.  He wrenched his arm away, 
glowering. 

“Did she send you to convince me to stay?” He asked, angry 
at the idea she would do such a thing.  

“No,” Sheppard said.  “She’s at her wits end, McKay.  She’s 
so distraught she doesn’t even know how to convince you to 
stay.”

“She wouldn’t be able to anyway,” Rodney said and continued 
down the hall to the transporter.  

She doesn’t love me, she loves you.  That thought hurt more 
than anything Koyla could do to him.  For the first time, 
he wished Koyla had better aim then he wouldn’t have to be 
going through this. 

He heard footsteps behind him and sighed as Sheppard 
stepped into the transporter beside him.  He stared at the 
man as Sheppard glared at him.

“You’re an idiot for wanting to leave,” he said as the 
doors opened a moment later.  

“I don’t want to leave,” Rodney said as he left the 
transporter.  “I have to.”

“Why?”  Sheppard asked, keeping pace with him.

Rodney glanced at Sheppard, wondering if he should tell the 
other man.  It wouldn’t do any good, he thought, shaking 
his head. 

“It’s too difficult,” he said as he headed up to 
Elizabeth’s office.  

“What’s too difficult?” Sheppard asked, pulling him to a 
stop. 

Rodney shook his head and hurried up the steps to her 
office.  He didn’t hear Sheppard follow him and he was 
grateful.  He knew Elizabeth would argue with him about 
leaving and he didn’t want her blurting out his affections 
for her in front of Sheppard.  He had a feeling she would.  
He didn’t want to do this to her, but he had to, for both 
their sakes. 

“Elizabeth,” he said as he entered her office. 

She looked up, surprised to see him.  She attempted to 
stand, but he waved her to remain seated. 

“What brings you here?” She asked, pushing her laptop to 
the side.  

She folded her hands on the desk.  He saw in her eyes she 
was worried about why he was here.  He took a deep breath 
as he stood in front of her, the desk between them.  He 
stared at the table top, gathering the strength to place 
the paper in front of her. 

“This,” he said, dropping the letter on the desk.  

He watched her as she picked up the paper and read it.  His 
heart raced in trepidation as he waited for her reaction.  
He didn’t have to.  He could walk out of the room and begin 
packing, but he wanted to give her a chance to say 
something.  Maybe a small part of him wanted her to stop 
him from departing. 

Elizabeth looked up at him, her green eyes wide in shock.  
He caught the slight wetness in her eyes before she glanced 
away. 

“Rodney, you can’t go,” she said, a slight catch in her 
voice.  “We need you too much.”

“Zelenka can take over,” he said.  “I’ll leave enough notes 
so he won’t destroy the city while trying to save it.”

“I’m not going to let you resign,” Elizabeth said, 
standing.  “You are too important to this city and this 
expedition.  No one else has your knowledge or your 
talents.  You have to stay, please, Rodney.”

Rodney stared at her as she came around to stand in front 
of him.  He looked into her eyes and saw the tears 
threatening to spill over.  He hadn’t wanted to make her 
cry.  He had never seen her cry before.  It tore at him 
that he was the cause. 

“I told you why I can’t stay,” he whispered, throwing 
caution to the wind and placing his hands on her arms.  His 
hands slowly moved up until he cupped her face, wiping away 
the tears with his thumbs. She gasped at the touch and it 
sent liquid fire through his body. 

“I’m not going to let you go,” she whispered as she placed 
her hands over his.  “You mean too much to me.”

The confession startled him and sent his blood rushing 
through him.  He stared at her, speechless for several 
minutes as he poured over her words.  Her eyes conveyed her 
feelings and he knew she was sincere.  

“Elizabeth,” Rodney whispered as he pulled her closer, 
wrapping his arms around her.  “You mean everything to me.”

“Then stay,” she whispered.  “For me.”

Rodney closed his eyes, knowing he’d do anything for her.  
All she had to do was ask.  She was asking him now to stay 
for her.  The tug he felt to do just that was strong and he 
didn’t want to fight it.  

I must be insane, he thought as he pulled her against him 
and kissed her.  

The taste of her nearly sent him over the edge.  He had 
wanted to do this for such a long time he forgot when he 
first thought of the notion.  The sensations flowing 
through him were overwhelming, but he didn’t want them to 
stop. 

Rodney backed her against the desk as he deepened the kiss.  
He buried his hands in her hair as his tongue thrust into 
her mouth.  Her hands moved up his back, sending jolts of 
electricity up and down his spine.  

He moaned into the kiss then Elizabeth pushed against his 
shoulders.  He pulled away, looking at her with 
uncertainty.

“What’s wrong?” Rodney asked, fearing he had gone too far. 

Elizabeth moved away from him and he suddenly felt all 
alone.  He stared at her, his heart sinking.  Did he make a 
mistake?

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she said as she put the desk 
between them.  “I care about John…”

“Then I should leave,” Rodney said, his voice catching.  He 
blinked several times to stop the tears from falling.  “I 
hope you’ll be happy with him.”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, reaching out to him.  

He wanted more than anything to go to her, but he knew it 
wasn’t possible.  He had to face the truth.  She would 
never love him and he couldn’t change it.  He turned and 
hurried out of her office. 



Chapter Fourteen





Elizabeth stared at Rodney’s resignation for several 
minutes after he had left her office.  Tears stung her eyes 
and she didn’t care if they fell.  She couldn’t believe he 
was departing.  She had persuaded him to stay and then she 
ruined it by mentioning John.  

Damn it, she thought as she put the paper down and wiped 
her eyes.  You’ve gone and done it now. 

She sighed and closed her eyes, her lips still tingling 
from his kiss.  She touched her mouth, remembering the 
passion behind the kiss.  The sensations she’d felt had 
been strong, stronger than anything she’d felt before.  It 
had surprised her and she’d reacted by pushing him away.  

Pushed him to leaving, Elizabeth thought as she stared at 
his letter.  Nothing will convince him to stay now.  

She ran her hands through her hair only to remember what 
his hands felt like running through her locks.  She drew a 
shaky breath as her heart ached under her breast.  

I can’t let him go, Elizabeth thought as she stood.  She 
raced through the gate room and down the steps, barely 
giving the door time to open.  She jogged down the hallway, 
tapping her earpiece.  She had an idea of where he’d be, 
but she wanted to make sure. 

“Rodney,” she said as she slapped the controls to open the 
transporter. 

“What, Elizabeth?” he sounded irritated and she couldn’t 
blame him.  She basically rejected him after he offered 
himself up to her.  

“Where are you?” She asked as she jogged out of the 
transporter and down the hall. 

“My quarters.  Why?”

Elizabeth sighed in relief.  He hadn’t finished packing, 
yet.  There was still time to stop him.  She wasn’t about 
to screw up this time. 

“I have to talk to you,” she said as she stopped before his 
door.  

“You’ve said enough, Elizabeth,” Rodney said.  She heard 
the anger and hurt in his voice.  

I’m not going to quit that easily, she thought as she moved 
her hand over the door’s controls. 

The door slid open and she saw him tossing some clothes 
into a bag.  He stopped and stared at her.  His eyes 
narrowed when he saw her. 

“Elizabeth,” he said, eyeing her cautiously.  He stood with 
his hands behind his back, his chin raised.  He closed 
himself off to her and her heart sank.  

She stepped into his room and the door slid shut behind 
her.  She folded her hands before her and took a deep 
breath.  

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she said softly as she strode 
closer to him.  “I was overwhelmed.  I’m sorry.”

Rodney stared at her, but said nothing.  She took another 
step toward him and he moved away.  He opened a drawer and 
grabbed an armful of clothes.  He shoved them into his bag 
and zipped it closed. 

“Rodney, talk to me,” Elizabeth said, realizing she was 
about to lose him if she didn’t act fast.

“I did that already and look what happened,” he whirled to 
stare at her, anger rising in his blue eyes.  “I opened my 
heart to you and you stomped all over it!”

Rodney grabbed his bag and moved around her to toss it at 
the door.  He then picked up another and began to fill that 
one.  She doubted anything she said now would change his 
mind. 

I have to try, she thought as she closed the gap between 
them. 

“Don’t,” Rodney said as she reached out to him.  He glanced 
at her, his eyes dark with emotion.  Her heart sank as she 
stared into his eyes.  She had never seen such misery 
before and it tore at her. 

“Rodney, don’t do this,” she whispered.

“Elizabeth, stop,” he said, his voice threatening to break.  
He shook his head and concentrated on putting his things 
into the bag.  He wished she’d leave and let him do this.  
It tore at him, her being here begging him to stay.  It 
proved to him she wanted him to stay, but that was all it 
confirmed.  

“I’m sorry I pushed you away,” she said, grabbing his arm.

He stared at her, his heartbeat skyrocketing as his skin 
prickled at her touch.  He wanted to pull her into his arms 
and kiss her again.  He had to resist her even though his 
heart and body cried out for her. 

He backed away, picked up his second bag and headed for the 
door.  

“I love you, Elizabeth,” Rodney whispered, turning to look 
at her.  “I just wished you loved me.”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispered her voice hitching.  She 
stepped toward him, determination and sadness in her eyes.  
“I want you to stay.”

He shook his head, looking into her eyes.  The sadness tore 
at him, making him want to stay.  The memory of their kiss 
floated to the front of his mind.  Warmth flowed through 
him at how she’d tasted, how she felt against him.  He 
closed his eyes as his arousal grew. 

“I have to go,” he said, his voice thick with need.  

“You don’t have to go,” Elizabeth said, getting his 
attention.  

Rodney stared at her, wondering what she was talking about.  
“What?”

“How can I convince you to stay?” Elizabeth asked as she 
placed a hand on his arm.  “What will it take?”

Rodney’s breath caught at her touch.  He knew he wouldn’t 
be able to withstand her for long.  He wanted her so much, 
but she belonged with Sheppard.  He couldn’t forget that. 

“Elizabeth,” he whispered as fire sparked through his body 
from her touch.  “I can’t watch you with him.”

The green in her eyes darkened.  His breathing increased as 
his heart raced.  He backed into the wall, but she followed 
him, closing the gap between them.  Her hand moved from his 
arm to his chest.  He closed his eyes as waves of emotions 
washed over him. 

“You won’t have to,” she whispered.  “Just don’t leave.”

“Elizabeth,” he breathed as he felt her fingers thread 
through his hair.  The next moment, he felt her lips on 
his.  Electricity went straight to his groin and he moaned.  
He wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to him.  The 
feel of her against him was wonderful beyond belief. 

Rodney deepened the kiss as his hands buried themselves in 
her dark hair.  She gasped and his tongue explored the 
inside of her mouth.  Her tongue touched his which sent 
waves of fire through him.  He groaned at the overwhelming 
sensations washing over him.  

He pulled away and stared at her.  “Elizabeth,” he 
whispered, breathing hard. 

Elizabeth said nothing as her hands roamed over his back 
and chest.  He closed his eyes as her hands moved under his 
shirt.  He leaned his head back against the wall as her 
hands moved up his chest. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispered as she took his mouth with 
hers. 

All rational thought left his mind as she flicked her 
tongue against his mouth.  A shudder went through him as 
her tongue explored his mouth.  He moaned into the kiss, 
his hands exploring her back.  He pulled her against him, 
letting her know what she did to him.  

In a swift motion, Elizabeth removed his shirt, tossing it 
to the floor.  He stared at her in surprise, but she pulled 
him across the room and to his bed.  He blinked at her as 
she removed her red shirt and dropped it to the floor. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said, surprised his mouth was able to 
even for a word. 

Elizabeth smiled at him and he couldn’t help but gaze at 
her.  His eyes roamed over her body as she stood before 
him.  He wanted to feel her against him.  He took her into 
his arms, loving the feel of her skin against his.  He 
devoured her mouth as she worked on undoing his pants.  
Their tongues dueled as he stepped out of them. 

Rodney pushed her on top of the bed, taking a moment to do 
away with the rest of her clothes.  His heart raced as he 
gazed upon her. He wanted nothing more than to worship 
every inch of her.  He didn’t care what happened tomorrow.  
All that matter was she was here and wanted to be with him.  
His heart soared at the thought as he took a breast into 
his mouth. 

She arched against him, her fingers threading through his 
hair.  His skin tingled at her touch as he swirled his 
tongue around her flesh.  She moaned, sending liquid fire 
rushing through him.  He moved to the left breast, 
continuing to stimulate the other with his hand. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth moaned, arching against him.

He smiled against her skin and trailed kisses down her 
body.  He listened as her breathing increased and her moans 
grew frequent.  He wanted to take her then and send her 
soaring, but he took his time.  He didn’t want her to 
forget this moment. 

Rodney swirled his tongue around her navel then gently blew 
the wet skin.  She gasped at the sensation and he laughed 
to himself.  He slowly kissed his way back up her body, his 
fingers lightly skimming her skin.  Hovering above her, he 
took in her lovely face.  Rodney didn’t think he could love 
this woman more than right now. 

“I love you,” Rodney whispered as he kissed her 
passionately.  He slowly entered her, groaning at the feel 
of her surrounding him.  He closed his eyes savoring the 
sensations.  

Rodney moved within her as he trailed kiss along her 
jawline.  Elizabeth wrapped her legs around him, sending 
him deeper inside her.  She moaned, her nails digging into 
his back.  Fire built inside him as he increased his pace.  

“Rodney,” she sighed as she met his movements.  She tilted 
her head back as he licked her throat then kissed it. 

Rodney thrust deep inside her as the fire between them 
built to an inferno.  He believed the place would go up in 
flames from their passion. 

Elizabeth cried out his name as she bucked against him.  He 
looked at her and her expression of ecstasy.  It was enough 
to send him tumbling over the edge.  Rodney shuddered 
against her, releasing deep inside her.  He collapsed upon 
her, breathing heavily.

~*~

Elizabeth woke to warm arms wrapped around her.  She smiled 
as she snuggled more closely into the embrace.  

Memories swept through her dream laced mind and her eyes 
widened.  She turned and saw Rodney sleeping behind her. 
Her heart raced as she remembered what they had done the 
day before.  What he had done to her, with her, had been 
amazing.  She had never believed she could feel such 
passion and be on the receiving end of that ardor. 

Elizabeth turned in his arms to face him.  Her heart 
swelled as she watched him.  She realized she cared about 
him more than she first thought.  It took him nearly 
leaving for it to reach her brain. 

I love him, Elizabeth thought as she traced her finger 
along his face. 

Rodney opened his eyes.  Startled by the blueness of them, 
she stared at him, words escaping her. 

“Morning,” he whispered then kissed her.  

Caught off guard, all she could do was run her fingers 
through his hair.  Rodney pulled away a moment later. 

“Morning,” she said, the desire building within her as she 
took him in.  What would it hurt if she enjoyed his company 
a bit longer?

Elizabeth pushed him onto his back as she took his mouth 
with hers.  Rodney kissed her back with equal fervor as his 
hands buried themselves in her hair.  Her own hands roamed 
down his sides and she felt his arousal against her 
stomach.  She smiled into the kiss as she grasped him in 
her hand.  He gasped in surprise, letting her explore his 
mouth with her tongue.  He moaned as she moved her hand up 
and down his length. 

“Elizabeth, where are you?” John’s voice stopped her.  

She stared at Rodney, who looked at her with desire and 
pleasure in his eyes.  Realizing she still wore her 
earpiece, she rose up into a sitting position.  She cleared 
her throat as she touched it.

“In bed, why?”  Elizabeth asked as Rodney sat up.  She 
watched him, hoping he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. 

“We had a briefing this morning, remember?” John answered, 
impatience in his voice.  “You set it up for today.”

She sighed and Rodney slipped out of bed and pulled on his 
pants.  She closed her eyes, feeling pulled in two 
different directions.  

“I’m sorry.  I’ll be there,” Elizabeth said and tapped her 
earpiece.  Rodney pulled on his black shirt.  She climbed 
out of bed, wanting to diffuse the situation before it 
exploded. 

“We forgot about the briefing this morning,” she said as he 
stared at her.  Her stomach churned with dread as her heart 
pounded in her ears.  “We should get there.”

“Right,” Rodney said as he put on his earpiece and headed 
for the door.  “John might get suspicious.”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, anger rising.  “Stop it.  You 
don’t need to act like this.”

Rodney glared at her and she folded her arms across her 
chest.  Narrowing her eyes at him, she took a step closer.  
She wasn’t about to let him do this again. 

“Don’t I?” Rodney asked as he headed for the door.  “It 
seems to work really well.”

“I hate it when you do this, Rodney,” Elizabeth said as she 
stood between him and the door.  She stared at him, 
watching as his expression changed from anger to worry.  “I 
hate it when you shut yourself off from me.  It scares me.”

Rodney looked away and she knew she got to him.  She took a 
chance and placed a hand on his shoulder.  When he looked 
at her, she saw the pain in his eyes.  It tore at her and 
Elizabeth knew she had to convince him how much she cared. 

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered as she drew him to her.  “I 
don’t think I could take it.”

Wanting him to know her feelings, she put all her emotions 
into her kiss.  Rodney responded by wrapping his arms 
around her and crushing her to him.  He deepened the kiss 
and she was content to let him take over.  Moaning into the 
kiss, she opened her mouth to let his tongue explore. 

“Elizabeth, we don’t have all day,” John’s voice burst 
through the pleasure.

Elizabeth sighed and pulled away, tapping her earpiece.  
“I’m getting coffee.  I’ll be there.”

She looked up and saw Rodney smirking.  She smiled at him, 
glad to see him in good spirits again. 

“Let’s go before he sends the Marines,” Rodney said as he 
touched the controls.

“That wouldn’t be good,” Elizabeth said as she got dressed.

“No, it wouldn’t.”






Chapter Fifteen





Rodney listened with half an ear to John’s report from a 
mission he didn’t go on.  Most of his focus was on 
Elizabeth, who sat across from him.  He still couldn’t 
believe what happened last night.  She had come to his room 
trying to convince him to stay only to end up making love 
to him.  It had been a surprise as well as amazing.  

He looked over to her, taking in her calm demeanor as she 
gave Sheppard all her attention.  A sting of jealousy crept 
up, but he pushed it down.  She always listened to his or 
Sheppard’s briefings as if they were the only person in the 
room.  Still, it gnawed at him.  

Where do I stand with her now? Rodney thought.  He had to 
find out. 

“You’ve been awfully quiet, Rodney,” John said, breaking 
into his thoughts.  “Got anything to add?”

Rodney stared at Sheppard, narrowing his eyes.  “I didn’t 
go on the mission; therefore I have nothing to add.”

Sheppard raised an eyebrow and glanced at Elizabeth, who 
shrugged. 

“I wasn’t talking about that mission, McKay.  I was talking 
about the one we’re about to go on.”

Rodney blinked, not liking being caught daydreaming.  He 
glared at Sheppard, standing. “What are we waiting for?”

“You haven’t heard a word any of us have said,” Sheppard 
said, also standing.  

“These people don’t take kindly to scientists,” Teyla said 
calmly.  “They’ll put you under arrest if they see your 
computer or anything like it.”

Rodney stared at them.  Clearly he had not heard anything 
they had said.  “Then why are we going there?”

“They are willing to trade with us,” Teyla answered.  “We 
will help them plant a new crop while they give us some of 
their harvest.”

Rodney raised an eyebrow and looked at Elizabeth, who 
shrugged again.  “You can stay behind, Rodney.”

He shook his head and moved around the table.  “I’m going.  
I’ll just leave everything here.  And if I happen to find 
something of interest, I won’t tell anyone about it.”

“I doubt there’s anything to find,” Ronon remarked. 

“We’ll see.”

“All right then,” Sheppard said, smiling at Elizabeth.  
“Let’s go.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes as Elizabeth returned Sheppard’s 
smile, but said nothing.  He left the room to retrieve his 
vest.  He hated the idea of leaving his equipment here, but 
with these people he didn’t want to draw attention to 
himself.  He didn’t want to know what they did with the 
scientists they jailed.  He doubted it was good. 

“Rodney!”

Rodney spun around and saw Elizabeth rushing to keep up 
with him.  He stared at her in surprise.  

“What is it?” He asked as she stopped in front of him. 

“I don’t regret what happened last night,” Elizabeth said.  
“You mean so much to me.”

Rodney saw in her eyes she meant what she said.  His heart 
soared and before he stopped himself, he pulled her against 
him.  She wrapped her arms around him and a wave of warmth 
washed over him, embracing him. 

“Hey, no hugging the boss, McKay,” Sheppard said.

“Come back in one piece, please,” Elizabeth said as she 
stepped away from Rodney.

“We try,” John said as he turned Elizabeth around and 
kissed her. 

Rodney stared at them, rooted to the spot.  His heart sank 
to his feet and he couldn’t breathe.  His stomach felt as 
if it had been punched.  He wished at that moment the floor 
would open up and swallow him.  He didn’t want to see this, 
but his feet wouldn’t move. 

The two parted and Sheppard smiled at him.  He wanted to 
hit the man.

“So I don’t get to hug her, but you can kiss her?” Rodney 
snapped, too angered to care how it sounded. 

“If you were dating her, you could kiss her too,” Sheppard 
said as he walked passed him.  “Don’t keep us waiting, 
McKay.”

Rodney glared after Sheppard and was about to go after him 
when Elizabeth grabbed his arm.  He stared at her, 
wrenching his arm out of her hand. 

“I didn’t know he was going to do that,” she said.  “I’m 
sorry.”

“Not as much as I am,” he said and went to get his vest.

Twenty minutes later, Rodney stood in the gate room waiting 
for the address to be dialed.  He looked up to the balcony 
and saw Elizabeth watching him, her arms folded across her 
chest in a protective gesture.  Concern clouded her 
expression and he knew he put it there.  He sighed and 
turned his attention to the gate as it came to life.  

“Let’s move out.  Try not to act like a scientist, McKay,” 
Sheppard called as he stepped up to the gate.

“Try not to act like an ass,” Rodney mumbled as he followed 
the group into the gate.

Walking out of the gate, Rodney found himself standing in 
the middle of a dirt road.  Trees were on both sides of the 
road.  He was able to make out a village through the trees. 

“They are expecting us,” Teyla said, nodding toward the 
road. 

Rodney looked and saw a tall woman striding toward them.  
Blonde hair fell over the shoulders of her white dress.  
She stopped before Teyla, smiling a brilliantly.  

“It is good of you to come,” she said, her voice almost 
musical.  “Who do you bring with you?”

“This is John Sheppard,” Teyla answered, pointing to each 
person.  “Ronon Dex and Rodney McKay.”

The woman stared at him the longest.  Why is she staring at 
me?  He raised an eyebrow at her, but she smiled and turned 
her attention to Teyla. 

“I am Citali,” the woman said, her smile stuck on her face.  
“Follow me.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and headed down the road.  He glared 
at John’s back.  The image of him kissing Elizabeth right 
in front of him burned in his mind.  Obviously, the man 
didn’t care who knew he dated Elizabeth.  

He forced the image from his mind.  He needed to focus 
before he was caught being inattentive again. 

“We can give you a fourth of our crops if you will help 
replant them for the next harvest,” Citali said.

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Sheppard replied as the 
village came into view.  “We have the manpower to help with 
the planting.”

“Good,” the woman said smiling.  “Then join me for dinner 
and let’s get to know each other.”

The sun sat on the horizon as they entered the village.  
Rodney was impressed by the two story buildings they 
passed.  

The people here must not believe in simplicity, he thought 
as they entered one of the more extravagant buildings. 

“You will rest here,” Citali said as she motioned them up 
the stairs.  “I have arranged rooms for each of you.  
Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

“Thanks,” Sheppard said.

Citali smiled then turned her grey eyes to Rodney.  He 
didn’t like being stared at by her.  She gazed at him as if 
he was a prime horse she wanted to buy.  It unnerved him.  
He hurried up the stairs before she decided to check his 
teeth.

“Well, someone has taken a liking to you,” Sheppard said 
with a smile.  

Rodney glared at the man.  “Shut up.  She gives me the 
creeps.”

John’s smile dropped and a concerned expression replaced 
it.  “What do you mean?”

“She’s staring at me as if she wants to buy me,” he snapped 
as he pushed open a door on his right.  “If she looks at me 
like that during dinner, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep 
it down.”

“I thought you’d like the idea of someone interested in 
you.  You’re always trying to get their attention,” 
Sheppard said as he followed Rodney into the bedroom.  

The room had one window decorated with a dark blue curtain. 
Gently burning candles in wall scones gave the room added 
warmth and comfort.  A dark blue rug covered most of the 
hard wood floor, muting Rodney’s footsteps. 

Rodney stared at Sheppard, wishing the man would drop it.  
Why did he care anyway? 

“This is different,” he said, folding his arms across his 
chest. “It’s more than just checking me out.  It’s like 
she’s sizing me up for something.  I don’t like it.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her then,” Sheppard said.  

“Right,” Rodney said and lay on the black bed, his right 
arm over his stomach.  He stared at the ceiling, picturing 
Elizabeth’s concerned face. 

“Don’t worry about Citali,” Sheppard said, a smile in his 
voice.  “I’ll tell her something that will make her hate 
you.  Then she’ll leave you alone.”

Rodney glared at him, but Sheppard only smiled and left the 
room.  

“Great,” he said, closing his eyes. 

~*~

A loud knock on the door woke him an hour later.  He leapt 
out of bed, startled.  He ran a hand over his face to calm 
his scattered nerves when the knock sounded again.  He 
glared at the door, wanting to hit it with something. 

“I’m awake.  You can stop hitting the door with your head!” 
Rodney shouted as he stomped toward the door.  He yanked it 
open, glaring at Sheppard. 

“I called you on the radio, but you didn’t answer,” John 
said.  “Pounding on the door was my last resort.  And I 
didn’t use my head.”

“Sounded like it,” Rodney said as he headed down the hall. 

They were greeted downstairs by a man in a black tunic and 
white pants.  He bowed to them and Rodney raised an 
eyebrow.  

“This way,” the man said and led them into what Rodney 
could only guess was the dining room.  A large mahogany 
table was the centerpiece of the room.  Five places were 
set on one side of the table, two candles located in the 
middle.  

Teyla and Ronon already sat at the table talking quietly. 

“Have a seat please,” the man said.  “Citali will join you 
shortly.”

Rodney stared at Sheppard, who shrugged.  Sighing, he sat 
across from Teyla.  

“You think they have citrus on this planet?” Rodney asked.

“Rodney,” Sheppard said with a sigh.

“I’m serious.  I’m not going to eat anything that I might 
die from.”

“I’ll tell the cook not to use any lemon,” Sheppard said, 
rolling his eyes. 

Rodney narrowed his and was about to say something when 
movement from his left caught his attention.  He looked up 
and Citali entered the room.  She wore a dark blue dress 
tied at the waist with a silver cord.  Blonde hair was 
piled on top of her head held there by a blue and silver 
comb. 

The rest of the group followed his gaze as the woman came 
to stand at the head of the table. 

“I’m sure the food will not kill you, Rodney,” she said in 
her musical voice.  

“If you don’t mind I’ll be on the cautious side.”

She smiled at him, but he narrowed his eyes in suspicion.  
He didn’t trust this woman and he wanted to know why she 
stared at him.  

I’ll just have to ask her, he thought as Citali sat. 

Servants came into the room carrying platters piled high 
with food.  Rodney stared at them, his mouth watering.  The 
smell of the cooked meat filled his senses and his stomach 
growled.  It looked delicious as the various dishes were 
laid out around the table. 

“Feel free to serve yourself,” Citali said as the servants 
filled their glasses with what Rodney hoped was wine.  He 
wasn’t in the mood to die from suffocation. 

“Are you their leader?” Sheppard asked as he filled his 
plate with various meat and vegetables.

“Yes,” Citali answered as she lifted her wine glass.  “I am 
what you might call a governor.  I’ve led my people ever 
since my father died, ten years ago.”

Wonder if she killed him, Rodney thought as he stared at 
his food with caution.  It looked delicious and smelled 
divine, causing his stomach to growl again.  He sighed and 
stabbed a piece of meat with his fork.  He closed his eyes 
and popped it in his mouth. 

“Is it good?” Citali asked.

Rodney stared at her as he swallowed.  He waited a moment, 
but nothing happened.  Sighing in relief he nodded. 

“And you’re still alive,” Sheppard said, earning a glare 
from him.  

“Thanks for the concern,” Rodney said.

“You’re welcome,” Sheppard said, smiling. 

“You seem to have a problem with him, John,” Citali said.  

Sheppard and Rodney stared at the woman in surprise.  John 
cleared his throat, took a sip of wine then cleared his 
throat again.  Rodney turned his gaze to his food, his face 
warm. 

“It’s a bit of banter,” Sheppard explained.  “I don’t have 
a problem with Rodney at all.  Though, he does get on my 
nerves.”

“You get on mine,” Rodney said, glowering at the man.  “I’m 
surprised I still have some left the way you stomp all over 
them.”

“You’re so bad-tempered.  I’m surprised you haven’t 
exploded yet.”

“I’ll show you an explosion…”  Rodney stood, wanting to hit 
him. 

“You’ve already did that,” Sheppard interrupted causing the 
room to plummet into silence. 

Rodney sat heavily and stared at the table top. John would 
have to bring that up.  He focused on his food, not looking 
at anyone. 

“I see you do have a problem with him,” Citali said, 
clearing her throat.  

“He can be an arrogant pain in the ass, but he’s saved us 
more than anyone can count,” Sheppard said, sighing.  
“Sometimes I wish he’d check his ego at the door.”

Rodney closed his eyes and felt as if he was being yelled 
at by Elizabeth again.  He sighed and took a large sip of 
wine.  The sudden buzz made him feel light headed and he 
put the glass down.  He blinked a few times as a rush of 
warmth expanded through him. 

“Are you all right?” Citali asked.

Rodney stared at her.  “I’m fine.  I drank too much at 
once.”

Citali smiled her radiant smile again and a chill went down 
his spine.  Turning his attention to his food, he wished 
she wouldn’t look at him like that.  It made him 
uncomfortable. 

“What interest do you have in McKay?” Sheppard asked 
suddenly. 

Rodney watched Citali carefully, searching for any sign of 
her own nervousness or what she planned.  Instead, she 
smiled as she answered John.

“He intrigues me,” she said.  “There is something different 
about him.  He doesn’t give off the usual energies like 
most men.”

“Energies?” Rodney asked, suddenly intrigued himself.

Citali smiled, her grey eyes sparkling.  “We can sense the 
life energies of every being.  I have a better 
understanding of it than the others.  I use it to judge 
whether a person is trustworthy or not.  You, Rodney, have 
an energy I have never seen before.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Rodney said.  Now he was really unnerved 
by her.  What did she see in his aura?  If that was what 
she was talking about.  Not that he put any stock in such 
things. 

“What do you see?” Sheppard asked.

Rodney raised an eyebrow at the woman.  Just what I wanted 
to ask.  Now maybe we can get some answers.

“I see he is a very caring person, but doesn’t want anyone 
to know that,” Citali stated, causing Rodney’s eyes to 
widen in shock. 

“I kind of figured that,” Sheppard said.  “Anything else?”

Rodney didn’t want to hear anymore.  This was worse than 
having someone in his head.  He opened his mouth to object 
to Citali saying anything else, but she smiled at him and 
continued. 

“He has deep feelings for someone he doesn’t want anyone to 
know about,” Citali said softly.  “He’s not sure where he 
stands with her.”

“Ok, that’s quite enough,” Rodney said as anger spread 
through him.  “I don’t think they want every detail.”

Citali smiled at him, but all he could do was stare at her.  
He had a sense she was reading him and dread filled him.

“You’re hiding something and it’s not your feelings.  You 
don’t want me to know.  The reason your energy is so 
different from everyone’s.”

“Maybe we should stop,” Sheppard said, touching Citali’s 
arm.  “We need to talk about trade.”

“I want to know what he’s hiding,” the woman said, calmly.

“He’s not hiding anything,” John said.  

Rodney felt a fluttering in his head as if a butterfly was 
let loose in his brain.  He stared at Citali, wondering if 
it was her. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, panic rising, his heart 
racing. 

“Your energy is telling me you’re hiding something,” she 
said as she reached out to touch him.  “I will search your 
mind for the truth.”

“You’re telepathic?” Sheppard asked as Citali pulled her 
arm out of his grasp. 

“All my people are,” she answered calmly.  “It is how we 
decide if someone is worthy of our trust.”

The fluttering continued, growing in intensity.  Rodney 
closed his eyes, but it didn’t help.  He tried to pull away 
from her, but her hold tightened on his arm.  He gasped as 
her nails dug into his arm. 

“You’re hurting him,” Teyla said.  “Stop it.”

“I am not harming him,” Citali stated in her calm voice.  
“I will know what he is hiding.”

A headache started in the sides of his head.  He yanked his 
arm out of her grasp.  Placing his hands on his head, he 
closed his eyes tighter.  

She’s going to kill me, Rodney thought.  I have to get out 
of here.

He stood, knocking his chair over.  A wave of dizziness 
came over him and his head hurt like hell.

“Stop fighting it and it won’t hurt,” Citali said.

Rodney took a step, but blackness washed over him before he 
was able to take another. 

~*~

Rodney woke to coldness seeping into his body.  Pain in his 
back and head told him he was still alive.  He opened his 
eyes to grey stone surrounding him.  He pushed himself up 
to a sitting position and saw bars to his right.  

“Oh great,” he said, realizing where he was.  “She found 
out.”

He slowly got to his feet, using the cold wall as support.  
He glanced around his surroundings, noticing the pile of 
blankets in one corner.  They were grey from use and he 
shivered at the thought of lying on them. 

A square window let in light behind him.  The only light 
now was moonlight, barely enough to see anything by.  More 
illumination came from a torch a few feet on the wall from 
his cell.  He went to the bars, wondering where the others 
were and how he was going to get out of this. 

There weren’t any guards posted by his cell or down the 
long hallway.  Citali didn’t expect her prisoners to 
escape. 

Stupid on her part, Rodney thought as he looked around for 
a way to pick the lock. 

They had taken his vest and his jacket, leaving him only 
his black shirt and pants.  They had even taken his boots.

At least they left me my socks, he thought as he went to 
the pile of blankets and searched through them.  He 
grimaced at touching them, but he hoped someone had left 
something behind he could use. 

Damn it!  Rodney growled as tossed the last blanket to the 
ground.  He stood and searched the walls for a loose brick, 
but came up empty. 

“Dr. McKay,” Citali’s voice startled him and he spun around 
to see her standing at the cell door.  “Feeling better?”

Rodney glared at her as he stalked over to the door.  He 
wanted to reach through the bars and ram her head against 
it, but stopped himself.  It wouldn’t do him any good.  The 
large man behind her would probably kill him. 

“What do you want?” He growled as he folded his arms across 
his chest. 

“Scientists are forbidden in Rajian society,” she answered 
as she looked him over.  “Not long ago, they created a 
plague that nearly wiped out my people.  They said it was 
for research.  Half the population died.  I banished all of 
them and forbidden science to have a place here.”

“What do you do to the scientists you find?” Rodney had to 
ask.

Citali stepped closer to the bars.  He saw in her eyes he 
wasn’t going to like her answer.  His heart raced as he 
thought of Elizabeth. 

“We punish them,” Citali answered softly.  “Though you are 
an interesting one, I might let you last longer.”

She smiled at him and icy dread sliced through him.  She 
reached through the bars and ran a hand along his face.  He 
shivered and she laughed softly. 

“I might let you live once your punishment is over,” she 
whispered to him.  “Don’t try to escape, Rodney.  Your 
friends might take your place instead.”

Citali strolled back down the hall, her guard following.  
Rodney closed his eyes and rested his head against the 
bars.  So that’s why there weren’t any guards.  She 
threatened her prisoners into staying. 

Rodney sighed and moved away from the cell door.  He sat in 
the corner, his back to the cold stone wall.  He had to 
find a way to escape that didn’t jeopardize his team.  

Or hope they rescue me first, he thought bleakly. 



























Chapter Sixteen





Rodney woke to the sound of the cell door opening.  It 
banged against the wall, startling him.  He opened his eyes 
and saw a bulky man march over toward him.  Rodney pushed 
himself to a sitting position as the man grabbed his shirt, 
yanking him to his feet. 

The man shoved him forward, through the cell door.  A woman 
in black armor waited for him in the hall.  The two guards 
flanked him as they made their way down the hall. 

Torches lit the narrow corridor, but not offering any 
comfort or warmth.  Rodney’s heart raced as dread reared 
its head.  

Citali must want to start the punishments, Rodney thought.  
Guess she can’t wait. 

The guard in front of him stopped and opened a door to 
their right.  She shoved Rodney inside and slammed the door 
behind him.  He glared at the door then tried to open it. 

“Locked,” he grumbled.  “Great.”

Rodney looked around the room.  It was bare save for a 
narrow table in the center of the space.  Trepidation 
filling him, Rodney stepped toward the table and looked it 
over.  Dried blood stained the wood and the floor 
underneath. 

I’m dead, Rodney thought.

The room was lit only by a single torch on the far wall.  
There wasn’t a window for him to climb out of.  

How am I going to get out of this? Rodney thought, closing 
his eyes.  Does Sheppard even know where I am?

The door behind him opened and he turned to see Citali 
dressed in black enter the room.  

“Rodney,” she said in a sultry voice as she closed the door 
behind her.  She strolled further into the room, her gaze 
trained on him. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Rodney said as he backed away 
from her.  “I can leave.  I won’t ever come back.”

Citali smiled causing an icy shiver to run down Rodney’s 
back.  The door opened again and a muscled man entered the 
room, a wicked smile on his face. 

Oh, this is not going to be good, Rodney thought as he 
backed into the table. 

“I really didn’t expect you to start begging so soon,” 
Citali said as she ran a long finger along his cheek.  “I 
might let you live, but I won’t let you go.  What kind of 
example will that leave?”

Rodney closed his eyes in despair.  He thought of Elizabeth 
and how she had tried to get him to stay.  Now he’d never 
return to Atlantis.  

“You’re worried about the one you love,” Citali said, 
earning a glare from him.  “She loves someone else, though 
and probably won’t notice you’re gone.”

“Shut up!” Rodney growled and shoved her away from him.  He 
instantly regretted it a moment later as the large man 
slammed his fist into Rodney’s jaw.  He fell over the table 
and onto the floor. 

“I see I hit a tender spot,” Citali said as she knelt 
beside him.  “Don’t worry, Rodney, I won’t mention her 
again.”

Rodney shoved himself to a sitting position, but was yanked 
to his feet.  The muscled man snarled at him as he pushed 
Rodney onto the table.  His jaw hurt like hell and he 
barely noticed as the guard strapped him onto the table.  

He stared at the ceiling as images of Elizabeth flooded his 
mind.  His heart raced in both arousal and trepidation.  He 
wished he was with her instead of here. 

“Still thinking about her, I see,” Citali said, standing 
beside him.  “Elizabeth is her name?”

“Shut up,” Rodney snarled pulling at the restraints.  They 
held him back as did the guard’s large hand. 

“You’re thoughts are very easy to read, Rodney,” she said 
as she ran a hand through his hair.  “They’re in the 
forefront of your mind and are quite loud.  I can’t help, 
but read them.”

“Stay out of my head,” he growled, but Citali smiled. 

“Keep them, for your going to need them.”

Rodney stared at her as she turned to a smaller table 
behind her.  His eyes widened when she came back around 
holding a knife in her hand. 

“I thought we’d start with this and work our way up,” she 
said serenely as if she wasn’t about to torture someone. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Rodney said as he struggled 
against the restraints. 

“I do,” Citali said.  “I won’t allow another scientist 
among my people again.”

He stared at the knife shining in the candlelight.  Citali 
sliced open his shirt, cutting him in the process.  He 
hissed at the pain, his heart racing, wanting to leap out 
of his chest.  His breathing increased as the fear grew. 

“Maybe we can come up with a deal,” Rodney said, trying for 
a last attempt to get her to release him.  

“No deals, Rodney,” Citali said, looking at him with 
tranquil grey eyes.  She didn’t seem affected that she was 
by her action at all.  Was she really so uncaring? 

She nodded to the guard and a piece of cloth was shoved 
into Rodney’s mouth.  Surprised, he shouted at her, but all 
he said was muffled by the rag.  He tried to spit it out, 
but it was tied behind him.  He glared at Citali, but she 
smiled at him. 

“This will hurt,” she said softly.  “Feel free to scream 
all you want.  The gag will prevent anyone from hearing 
you.”
If I get out of this, I’m going to kill you, Rodney thought 
darkly. 

“Let’s begin,” Citali said.

__


Pain shot through Rodney as he woke.  He kept his eyes 
closed not wanting to know what had caused it.  It hurt so 
much all he wanted was to dive back into unconsciousness.  

Against his will, he groaned and opened his eyes.  Coldness 
seeped into his being and he shivered.  Movement to his 
left caught his attention.  Citali lit another candle and 
placed it on its holder.  The giant guard was gone, leaving 
her alone with him. 

“You’re awake,” Citali said as she wiped his forehead with 
a damp cloth.  “I was afraid I’d killed you.”

Rodney tried to speak, but the gag prevented him.  He 
closed his eyes.  Where are the others? 

“They are likely back home,” Citali answered calmly.  “They 
don’t know you are here.  You won’t be returned to them.  
They have no other recourse but to return home.”

Rodney glared at her, wishing he could strangle her.  
Stinging pain made itself known and he groaned.  How much 
longer was she going to torture him?  How much longer would 
he be able to last? 

“I’m not going to kill you,” Citali said, running her 
fingers through his hair.  “But you will not leave this 
city.”

Rodney struggled weakly against the restrains then cried 
out as pain sliced through him.  He stared at Citali as she 
yanked the knife out of him.  Blood dripped from the weapon 
as her serene eyes gazed at him.  She smiled then placed 
the knife on the small table behind her.  

“I think you’re ready for the next phase,” she said as if 
she were discussing the weather. 

Rodney closed his eyes as he tried to picture Elizabeth.  
Her face floated in front of him only to vanish as white 
hot agony exploded behind his eyes.  He yelled into the 
gag, wanting to leap off the table and away from whatever 
was causing this. 

He opened his eyes a moment later.  Citali held a hot poker 
against his thigh.  He tried to jerk his leg away, but the 
restraints made it nearly impossible.  He growled, anger 
boiling inside him. 

“You are a strong one,” Citali said as she removed the 
poker.  “Most of your kind would have passed out or died by 
now.”

She looked at him and he saw the interest in her eyes 
again.  His heart raced as he wondered what she could 
possibly be thinking. 

Leave me alone, Rodney thought, knowing it was futile. 

“You know I can’t,” she said as she lowered the poker.  

He gritted his teeth as the agony shot through his 
shoulder. 

Kill me and get it over with, Rodney thought before blessed 
obscurity descended once again. 

__


“You have to go back for him,” Elizabeth said in the 
briefing room.  The news that Rodney had been found out and 
arrested didn’t sit well with her.  She had no idea what 
they’d do to him, but she didn’t want him to be held 
prisoner.  She wanted him home, with her. 

“We plan to,” John said, still in his Offworld gear. 

“They wouldn’t tell us where they took him, but we can be 
persuasive,” Ronon said, patting his gun. 

“Try to keep the violence to a minimum,” Elizabeth 
mentioned.  

“We’ll try,” Teyla put in, giving Ronon a raised eyebrow. 

“Good luck and bring him back,” Elizabeth said, fighting 
back the dread threatening to force its way up. 

“Don’t worry, we will,” John said and led his team back 
into the Gate room. 

Elizabeth followed them and watched them from the balcony.  
She gripped the railing to keep herself calm.  Dark 
thoughts on what was happening to Rodney crept through her 
mind.  She closed her eyes as the tears threatened to fall. 

Please be alive, she thought. 




































Chapter Seventeen





John Sheppard stepped through the gate, his gun at the 
ready.  In the west, the sun hovered over the horizon.  A 
warm breeze ruffled his already messy hair, bringing with 
it the scent of flowers.  He glanced at his team, knowing 
they would do anything to get their team member back.  

Let’s hope the Rajians don’t put up a fight, he thought, 
taking a deep breath.  He really didn’t want to battle 
these people.  He was tired, needed a shower, and wanted to 
go to bed. 

“Let’s move out,” John said and headed toward the town full 
of psychics.  “And try not to think of anything.”

“Not a problem,” Ronon said, twirling his gun.  “They won’t 
know what hit them.”

John stared at the tall man and shook his head.  Whatever 
got them through the door the quickest.  

“Where do you think they would hold Dr. McKay?” Teyla 
asked. 

“If they have a jail or dungeon, I’d expect there,” John 
answered as the town came into view. 

John anticipated the Rajians would not give Rodney up 
easily.  They probably didn’t want outsiders to know what 
they did with their prisoners.  He didn’t want to know 
either, but he wasn’t about to leave Rodney on this planet. 

“We’ve got company,” Ronon stated, bringing John out of his 
morbid thoughts. 

Two men dressed head to toe in brown leather walked toward 
them.  One wore his blonde hair long while the other had 
short dark hair.  They didn’t show any hostility, but John 
wasn’t about to let his guard down.  

“We thought you had left,” the man with the blonde hair 
said.  “Citali is busy, what do you want?”

“We are missing our team mate,” Teyla answered, her voice 
calm.  “We are searching for him.”

“The scientist?” the dark hair man asked, looking at the 
blonde.  “He was taken prisoner.  You should know that.”

“Where?” Ronon asked, stepping forward.  John had a feeling 
he was using his size to intimidate the two men.  He hoped 
it worked. 

The men looked at each other then backed away.  Obviously, 
they didn’t want a fight.  Smart on their part as far as 
John was concerned.  

“Citali has him,” the blonde answered.  “He’ll be in her 
dungeons if he’s still alive.”

“Lead us there,” John said, lifting his gun, showing them 
he wasn’t above persuasion of any kind. 

The men stared at each other again and John swore they 
visibly swallowed.  He smiled mentally to himself.

Hang on, Rodney, we’re coming. 

“Follow us,” the dark haired man said as they turned and 
headed down the road leading into the town.  John didn’t 
waste anytime following the two men. 

“I think we should leave McKay on Atlantis from now on,” 
Ronon stated as they raced down the road.  “We’ve had to 
save his butt too many times this past month.”

“He does have a tendency to get into trouble,” Teyla 
remarked.  “I think he has a death wish.”

John stared at the two.  “Mr. ‘I’m not going to eat this 
because it might have lemon on it?’  I know he’s been 
behaving strangely, but come on.”

“He has not told anyone what is wrong with him,” Teyla 
mentioned as they entered the city.  

“He’s told Elizabeth,” John answered as they ran through 
the town.  “She hasn’t told me what it was, though.  Only 
that he tried to leave because of it.”

“He tried to leave?” Teyla asked, surprised. 

“Later,” John said as they came upon Citali’s house. 

“She won’t let you take him,” the blonde mentioned. 

“Maybe not, but we’re not leaving without him,” John said 
as they stepped into the house.  “Where is this dungeon?”

“Down several stairs,” the dark haired man stated.  “I’ve 
only been down there once.  It was not pleasant.”

Dread filled John’s being.  Something told him this woman 
tortured her prisoners.  Taking a deep breath, he headed 
down the hallway the men pointed toward.  

“What’s the plan?” Ronon asked as they made their way down 
the dimly lit corridor. 

“We use our element of surprise to distract her and get 
Rodney,” John answered, keeping an eye out for the 
staircase. 

“Good plan,” Ronon said calmly as if this were a walk in 
the park. 

A thin carpet muffled their footsteps and John was grateful 
for it.  No one knew they were here and he wanted to keep 
it that way.  He just hoped their guides didn’t tell 
anyone. 

The light from his P-90 showed him the end of the hallway 
was up ahead.  On closer inspection, he saw the staircase 
leading down.  He motioned for Teyla and Ronon to follow 
him. 

“Here we go,” he whispered as he slowly made his way down 
the stairs.  He hoped they weren’t too late.  He had no 
idea how long Rodney had been down here in Citali’s 
charming clutches.  He hoped the scientist was still alive. 

Twenty minutes later, they made it the bottom of the 
stairs.  Icy darkness greeted them and John swore it was 
eating the light from his P-90.  He shook the thought away 
and led the way deeper into what he could only describe as 
hell.   

The sound of water dripping on stone sounded all around 
him.  A damp smell invaded his nose.  He had a feeling a 
cold would be the result of this rescue; if they ever found 
Rodney in this never ending tunnel. 

Where are you? John thought, his footfalls barely making a 
sound.  Give us some kind of sign you’re down here.

A door opened at the end of the hallway.  John’s heart 
raced as Citali stepped out into the corridor.  He barely 
heard what she said before shut the door. 

“Back up,” John whispered as he turned his light off.  He 
backed away as Citali headed down the hall.  They were sure 
to get caught if they didn’t find a door or some hole to 
crawl into.  

“This way,” Teyla whispered.  

John turned and heard a door opening beside him.  He didn’t 
waste time slipping into the room.  He held his breath and 
thought of nothing as Citali continued down the corridor.  
He listened to her footsteps as she passed by them and up 
the stairs.  He slowly let out his breath a moment later.

“That was close,” John said.

“I could have stunned her,” Ronon said, disappointment in 
his voice.  “Saved us a lot of time.”

“Later,” John said as he opened the door.  “Let’s get 
Rodney and get out of here.”

John turned on his light and checked the corridor.  Seeing 
it was empty of guards and Citali, he stepped out into the 
hall, motioning for the other two to follow him.  He 
hurried down to the room he saw Citali leave.  His heart 
raced in trepidation of what they would find in that room. 

Please be alive, he thought as he came to the door.  He 
turned the knob and found it was locked. 

“Damn it!” John growled, kicking the door in frustration.
“That always works for me,” Ronon said, earning a glare 
from John and Teyla.

“This isn’t a time for jokes,” John growled. 

“Stand back,” Ronon said, pulling out his gun.  He set it 
and John moved quickly moved away.  He kept his light on 
the door and preyed Rodney wasn’t too close to it when it 
blew away.

Ronon aimed his gun and pulled the trigger.  A second 
later, John’s ears were bombarded by a loud noise as the 
door exploded.  He coughed as the dust settled around them.

“Now we don’t need a key,” Ronon said, putting his gun 
away.

“Let’s just hope no one heard that,” John said, waving the 
dust away.  “Rodney?”

John stepped into the room which was lit by a single candle 
on the wall.  In the center of the room was a table and on 
the table was what John dreaded to see. 

“Oh, hell,” he whispered as he hurried over to Rodney.  He 
looked the scientist over and swallowed at the sight which 
greeted him.  Rodney was covered in blood, some of it dry. 
Taking a deep breath, he checked for a pulse and closed his 
eyes when he found a weak one. 

“We have to get him out of here,” he said as he removed the 
restraints. 

“I’ll lead the way,” Ronon said, pulling his gun out again. 

John nodded as Teyla helped him remove the leg restraints.  
She helped him lift Rodney to a sitting position, stopping 
when the scientist groaned.

“Rodney?” John asked, looking at the scientist.  He shook 
his head and slung Rodney over his shoulder.  He nodded 
toward Ronon as he lifted Rodney off the table.  

Ronon stepped into the hallway, flashlight lighting the 
way.  He motioned for them to follow and Teyla went first 
with John following.  They made their way back down the 
corridor and up the stairs, hoping they didn’t run into 
anyone. 

Luck wasn’t on their side as Ronon stopped suddenly on the 
stairs, nearly sending John tumbling back down when Teyla 
stopped. 

“Out of the way,” Ronon said, causing John to move up a 
step to see who was in their way.  

“Great,” John whispered when he saw Citali. 

“What are you doing here?” Citali asked, her voice serene, 
but held a hint of anger.  So the woman did have emotions. 

“Taking our team member back with us,” Ronon growled, 
aiming the gun at her.  “Step aside and you won’t get 
hurt.”

“If you want our harvest, hurting me won’t be good,” she 
said calmly.

John decided it was best for him to negotiate with Citali.  
He made his way up to Ronon, placing Rodney on the step 
beside him.  He watched as she stared at the scientist, a 
glimmer in her grey eyes. 

“We’re taking him with us,” he said, getting her attention.  
“If you want our help in you harvest its best you let us 
take him back.”

“He is not leaving this city,” she said, taking a step 
toward him.  

Ronon lifted his gun, stopping her.  John raised an 
eyebrow, folding his arms across his chest. He wasn’t going 
to play with this woman.  Rodney needed medical attention 
and he needed it now.  The longer they waited, the less 
likely it would be for him to survive. 

“I beg to differ, but he’s coming with us,” John said, 
stepping closer to her.  “He needs help and if he doesn’t 
get it, he’ll die.  You don’t want scientists in your city, 
so why don’t you let us take him?”

Citali stared at Rodney and John held his breath.  He 
wanted to strangle her, for what she did to Rodney.  No one 
deserved what she put him through.  

“Take him,” Citali said at last.  “But I better not see him 
again.”

“You won’t,” John said, picking Rodney up and slinging him 
over his shoulder.  

“Get out,” she said, her eyes shimmering.  

John shivered, hoping he wouldn’t see her again.  He moved 
around her and headed up the stairs.  

Hold on, Rodney, John thought.  We’re almost home.

__


Elizabeth paced in her office, anxiety keeping her feet 
moving.  What could be taking them so long?  With each 
pass, she looked down into the gate room, wanting and 
wishing they would show up with Rodney save and sound.  
With each pass the other way, the knot in her stomach 
tightened.  She wanted to scream, but she held herself 
together, knowing what ever waited for her, she needed to 
be strong.  

“Offworld activation,” Chuck said, bringing her thoughts to 
the present. 

She ran into the room, her heart in her throat.  She tried 
to swallow past the lump, to no avail.  The fear increased 
as she stared at the blue event horizon.

“Reading Teyla’s IDC.”

“Let them through,” Elizabeth said then hurried down the 
steps.  Her heart raced in trepidation. 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw John step through 
the gate, a body draped over his shoulder.  

“Carson, we need a medical team, now,” she said as she went 
to John.  “What happened?”

“Citali tortured him,” John answered.  “That’s what she 
does to any scientist who happens to be in her city.  Are 
you sure you want to trade with them?”

Elizabeth stared at Rodney’s unconscious form and she knew 
she never wanted to hear the name Citali or the Rajians 
again. 

“I don’t think so,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t 
catch. 

Carson and his medical team arrived then.  John placed 
Rodney on the gurney and her heart stopped at the sight of 
Rodney’s bloody body.  Fear poured over her, threatening to 
strangle her. 

“Oh, my God,” she whispered as she went to his side.  
“Rodney, can you hear me?”

“He’s unconscious,” John said, placing a hand on her 
shoulder.  “We tried to get him here as fast as possible.”

Elizabeth didn’t like the sound of John’s voice.  She 
looked at him and saw what she feared in his eyes.  Rodney 
might not make it.  Tears stung her eyes as she watched the 
medical team hurry out of the gate room.  

“I’m suspending his Offworld activities,” she said as she 
headed into the hallway.

“He’s not going to like that,” John said.

“I don’t care,” Elizabeth said, anger and fear building 
within her.  “I’m not going to lose him and if I have to 
keep him here in order to keep him safe, I will.”

“I didn’t know you care so much for him,” John stated 
bringing her to stop.  

She looked into his eyes and knew she had to tell him the 
truth.  As much as it pained her to hurt John, he deserved 
to know how she felt about Rodney.

“I love him,” Elizabeth whispered. 

John stared at her, his eyes wide.  She took a deep breath 
as she waited for him to yell at her.  It didn’t come, 
though.  He continued to look at her and then he sighed.

“When did this happen?” John asked in a voice of defeat. 

Elizabeth shrugged, looking away.  She closed her eyes as 
she wrapped her arms around her. 

“I don’t know,” she said softly.  “A week ago, maybe.  It 
just happened, John.  I didn’t mean for it to.”

John shook his head.  “I knew it would happen eventually.  
Does he love you?”

“Yes,” she said as she continued down the hall.  “That’s 
what he told me was bothering him.  The reason he wanted to 
leave.  He couldn’t take seeing us together.”

“What?” John said in shock.  “That was what his problem was 
the entire time?”

“Yes, John.”

The two entered the infirmary and visions of the many times 
Rodney had been here flashed before Elizabeth.  She blinked 
the images away and was faced with one she never wanted to 
see. 

“Clear!”

Elizabeth’s heart leaped into her throat as Rodney’s body 
arched from the bed.  The sound of the monitor flat lining 
echoed in her ears.  She closed her eyes and willed Rodney 
to live.  Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them 
fall.  

“I’ve got a pulse!” Carson shouted, sending a wave of 
relief flowing over Elizabeth. 

Elizabeth took a deep breath as she watched Carson and his 
team work on Rodney.  She ran a hand through her hair and 
left the infirmary.  She leaned back against the wall in 
the hallway and closed her eyes.  She allowed her legs to 
buckle and slowly sank to the floor. 

“You really love him?” John asked, startling Elizabeth.
She looked at him, but all she saw was concern.  She nodded 
and John sat beside her.  

“I just hope he lives so I can tell him,” she whispered as 
she rested her head back against the wall.

“He will,” John said.  “He’s too stubborn not to.”

__


Elizabeth woke to the sound of soft voices.  She opened her 
eyes and saw John talking to Carson.  Her heart beating 
rapidly, she slowly climbed to her knees.  She rubbed the 
back of her neck to work a kink out and walked over to the 
two. 

“How is Rodney?” Elizabeth asked, getting their attention. 

“He’s stable,” Carson answered.  “He was burned in several 
places, stabbed, cut, even beaten.  Luckily, he pulled 
through.  He’ll live to see the inside of my infirmary 
again.”

Elizabeth’s heart soared at the news and she couldn’t help, 
but smile.  “Can I see him?”

“He’s not awake, but go ahead,” Carson said. 

Elizabeth nodded and headed into the infirmary.  She slowly 
walked toward Rodney’s bed, preparing herself for whatever 
she might see.  

The monitor beeped softly beside Rodney’s bed as she looked 
him over.  An IV sat on the other side of his bed, feeding 
him pain killers.  He was pale, but alive.  She ran her 
fingers through his hair, convincing herself he was there 
and safe. 

She kissed his forehead then leaned close to his ear.  “I 
love you and I’m going to keep you safe.”

Elizabeth kissed him again then, before she could cry, left 
the infirmary.




Chapter Eighteen





“When were you going to tell me?” John said as Elizabeth 
stepped into the hallway.  

She stared at him in surprise. “Tell you what?”

“That you were in love with him,” John answered, his eyes 
narrowed. 

Elizabeth blinked as she realized John wanted to talk about 
this now.  He couldn’t have waited?  She shook her head and 
headed down the corridor, John following. 

“I only realized it myself a couple days ago,” she said, 
trying to hide the anger in her voice.  She didn’t want to 
talk about this now.  She wanted to be alone and give 
thanks that Rodney was alive and back where she wanted him.  

“And you knew he loved you when?” John asked, stopping in 
front of her. 

“Why are you asking these questions?” Elizabeth asked, her 
eyes narrowed.  “Rodney’s fighting for his life and you’re 
here asking very personal questions.  Are you looking for a 
reason to finish the job Citali started?”

John’s eyes widened in surprise and he took a step back.  
The anger disappeared from his eyes and he ran a hand 
through his hair.  He sighed, looking away from her. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.  “I didn’t realize how it 
sounded.  I was just caught off guard.  I would never do 
anything to hurt him, you know that.”

Elizabeth sighed and continued down the corridor.  She knew 
John would never hurt Rodney, but his sudden jealousy 
ridden questions surprised her.  

“I was as taken by surprise by his declaration as you were 
of mine,” she said.  

“Where does that leave us?” John questioned as they stood 
before the transporter. 

Elizabeth stared at her hands folded in front of her.  She 
knew he would ask this question eventually.  She didn’t 
know where they stood.  She didn’t want to hurt John, but 
she knew she already had with her admission of her feelings 
for Rodney.  She sighed and looked up at him, wishing she 
could tell him otherwise.

“I love Rodney,” she said. “I can’t deny my feelings and I 
won’t deny his.”

“You want to start a relationship with him,” it was a 
statement not a question.  

“Yes,” she said, her heart racing.

“Well, I always thought there was something between you 
two,” John said.  “I just hope you’ll be happy with him.”

Elizabeth nodded, a smile curving her lips. “I’ll try.”

John smirked.  “I guess I’ll take my frustration out on 
Teyla then.”

“Go easy on her,” Elizabeth said as she moved her hand over 
the controls.  

“I’ll try,” John said then jogged back down the corridor.

Elizabeth sighed and strode into the transporter.  She 
touched the screen and the door closed.  She leaned back 
against the wall and closed her eyes.  

Her mind roamed to the scene in the infirmary.  Her chest 
tightened at the thought of nearly losing Rodney.  Tears 
stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.  He was 
alive and she had to remind herself of that.  She wouldn’t 
allow herself to fall back into the fear she had felt at 
that moment.  

The door opened and she forced herself to head to her 
office.  She sat down and ran her hands over her face.  She 
sighed, letting the silence of the room to wash over her, 
soothing her.  

I have never been so scared in my life, Elizabeth thought 
as she stared out the windows of her office.  How deep her 
feelings for him made themselves known at that moment.  She 
needed to tell him once he was awake.

__


Rodney groaned as he slowly woke.  The sound of the monitor 
beeping invaded his ears.  Pain made itself known and he 
gritted his teeth to keep from crying out.  

He opened his eyes, blinking against the brightness.  He 
groaned again as he realized where he was.  Memories of 
Citali and her torture sessions flooded his mind.  He shook 
his head to get rid of the images.

“Rodney?” Carson’s voice brought his attention to the 
doctor.  

Rodney’s sight came into focus and he saw the doctor’s 
concerned face.  

“Carson,” he said, his voice hoarse to his ears.  He winced 
at the sound and his dry throat.  He felt weak as a kitten 
and tired as if he single-handily fought off a Wraith 
attack. He attempted to sit up, but Carson stopped him.

“Take it easy, Rodney.  I’ll adjust the bed, so you don’t 
have to try to sit up.”

“Thanks,” Rodney whispered as half the bed moved forward.  
“How long have I been out?”

“A week,” Carson answered as he checked Rodney’s vitals. 
“That Citali did a number on you, lad.  We almost lost 
you.”

The mention of the woman’s name caused memories to rush to 
his brain.  He winced in reaction.

“Are you all right?” Carson asked, concerned.

“Painful memories,” he answered as Carson handed him some 
water.  He drank it thirstily then rested against the 
pillows.  “All I remember is being stabbed and burned.”

“She did more and worse,” Carson answered, taking the 
glass.  “I won’t get into it.  It even gave me the shivers 
when I saw what she’d done.  It wasn’t a pretty sight.”

“Where’s Elizabeth?” Rodney asked, changing the subject.  
He doubted he’d see her anytime soon.  She would be worried 
about him, but she had Sheppard to comfort her.  His heart 
sank at the thought, but he was too weak to push it aside. 

“She’s been to see you everyday,” Carson answered, 
surprising Rodney.  

He looked at him and the doctor shrugged and offered a 
knowing smile.  Rodney raised an eyebrow. 

“Everyday?” Rodney asked, his voice a pitch higher in 
surprise.  “Really?”

“Yes, really, Rodney,” Carson answered.  “She’d stay for 
hours, wanting you to wake up.  It was almost 
heartbreaking, watching her talk to you, willing you to 
come around.”

A lump formed in Rodney’s throat and he looked away, 
blinking rapidly.  He closed his eyes and pictured her 
sitting by his bed, demanding in her diplomatic voice for 
him to awaken.  It was heartbreaking,

“I want to see her,” he said, staring at Carson.

Carson smiled as he touched his earpiece.  “Elizabeth, 
Rodney’s awake and demanding to see you.  You’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” Rodney whispered and stared at the ceiling, 
waiting for her to show up.

Elizabeth’s voice came to his ears next.  He opened his 
eyes to see her standing over him.  She smiled at him and 
he couldn’t help, but smile back.  Her fingers ran through 
his hair, sending delightful chills down his spine. 

“Welcome back,” she whispered as she sat in the chair.  She 
held his hand, giving it a squeeze.
“It’s good to be back,” Rodney said, returning her squeeze.  
“Carson told me you’ve come to see me everyday.”

Rodney swore he saw her blush, but she lowered her head to 
hide it from him.  He smiled to himself, finding it 
endearing that she didn’t want him to know she blushed. 

“I was scared,” she told him, bringing her eyes to meet 
his.  “I thought I lost you, Rodney.  I can’t go through 
that again.  I love you too much.”

Rodney’s heart stopped suddenly at her admission.  When it 
started again, it beat rapidly.  Did he hear her correctly?

“You love me?”

Elizabeth smiled, leaning in close to him to where he saw 
the brown flecks in her eyes.  His eyes fell to her lips 
and he wanted to kiss them.

“Yes, Rodney,” she said, her voice breathless.  “I love 
you.”

Rodney was struck speechless.  He couldn’t move, her 
revelation overwhelming.  Thankfully, Elizabeth read his 
mind and kissed him.  He moaned into the kiss and finally 
his arms worked and he wrapped them around her.  He 
deepened the kiss, pulling her tighter against him.  She 
opened her mouth for him to explore inside. 

A throat clearing broke them apart.  Elizabeth sat back 
down as Rodney glared at Carson.

“You have lousy timing,” he snapped.

“Sorry, but you’re not completely healed, Rodney,” Carson 
remarked.  “You need rest.”

“I’ve been here a week, Carson.  How much more time do I 
need?”

“Until I’m sure you’re well enough to leave that bed.  
Don’t argue with me, cause you won’t win.”

Rodney rolled his eyes then looked at Elizabeth, who 
smiled.  She loved him and his heart soared at the news.  
Not even being stuck in bed another day could bring him 
down. 

“I’ll see you later,” Elizabeth said, squeezing his 
shoulder.  “Listen to Carson and you might get out of here 
sooner.”

“Yeah, right,” Rodney said as she headed for the door.  
“The man lives to torture me.”

__


Three days later, Rodney was released from the infirmary.  
His stomach growling, he headed toward the mess hall.  He 
grabbed a tray and piled food on top of it, making sure he 
didn’t grab something that wouldn’t agree with him.  He 
wasn’t about to make another trip to the infirmary. 

He left the line and saw Elizabeth sitting alone.  Curious, 
Rodney headed toward her, sitting in front of her. 

“Where’s Sheppard?” Rodney asked.

“He’s off on a mission,” Elizabeth answered as she sipped 
her coffee.  “I told him about my feelings for you.  He 
took it better than I would have thought.”

Rodney stared at her in surprise.  She told Sheppard?  “SO 
I take it you two are done?”

“I think we were done awhile ago,” she answered as she 
stared at her food.  “My worry over you took its toll on 
our relationship.”

“I’m sorry,” Rodney said softly.  He had tried not to come 
between them, but it seemed he had anyway.  He seriously 
underestimated Elizabeth’s concern for him. 

“Don’t be,” she said, smiling.  “I think he prefers Teyla’s 
company anyway.”

Rodney snorted, trying to keep from laughing out loud.  He 
shook his head and looked into Elizabeth’s sparkling green 
eyes.  He fell into those orbs and his heart beat rapidly 
as his arousal grew.  He watched as her eyes darkened and 
he knew lunch wasn’t on either of their minds. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispered.

“Your place is closer,” Rodney said, grabbing her hand and 
leading her out the door. 

They barely made it into her quarters before Elizabeth spun 
him around and kissed him aggressively.  He walked her back 
against the wall as their tongues dueled.  Her handed 
buried themselves in his hair, sending chills down his 
spine.  He deepened the kiss as he ran his hands under her 
shirt.  He trailed kisses along her jaw to her throat. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispered.

He moaned against her skin then made quick work of removing 
her shirt and bra.  He took in the vision before him and he 
had to admit she looked even better than the first time.  

“You’re beautiful,” he said before taking a breast into his 
mouth.  She arched against him, holding his head there as 
he suckled the nipple.  

He heard her moan and he massaged her other breast with his 
right hand as his left buried itself in her hair.  His 
tongue swirled around her nipple causing another moan to 
come from her.  He switched over to the other breast, his 
teeth gently scraping her flesh.  She cried out and arched 
into him, causing him to take as much as he could into his 
mouth.

Elizabeth pulled his head back and kissed him.  She walked 
him back until his knees bent and he found himself on her 
couch.  Her tongue thrust into his mouth and he moaned into 
the kiss, warmth rushing through him.  She removed his 
shirt and tossed it to the floor.  She deepened the kiss as 
she pushed him back onto the couch.

She ran her hands over his chest sending sparks over his 
body.  He closed his eyes and moaned as she trailed kisses 
over his chest and down his body.  Liquid fire flooded his 
body pooling in his groin.  His breathing became rapid as 
she came to the top of his pants. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney groaned as he stared at her.  She 
smiled at him and he didn’t think he’d be able to take it 
much longer. 

She took his mouth again as she undid the zipper to his 
pants.  His heart raced as she slowly removed them and his 
underwear.  She stood and removed her pants and panties, 
kicking them aside.  

Elizabeth straddled him and slowly took him inside her. She 
gasped at the sensation. She looked at him with love in her 
eyes and his heart soared.
 
He quietly moaned, trying to hold in his pleasure and 
arousal. His hands went to her breasts causing her to moan. 
She ran her hands over his chest as she rocked forward.
 
"Oh, Rodney," Elizabeth moaned as she found on rhythm.
 
Rodney could barely think as he felt himself draw closer to 
the edge. He heard Elizabeth moan his name, and he felt her 
close tighter around him. The feel of her around him, and 
her hands on his chest nearly caused him to climax. He 
opened his eyes to see her tilted slightly back, her eyes 
closed. His hands were on her thighs as she rocked her hips 
back and forth. He moaned quietly as he closed his eyes. 
 
"Elizabeth," he moaned. The sensations were becoming 
unbearable.
 
"Yes, Rodney," Elizabeth whispered, as she edged closer, 
 
Rodney thrust up into Elizabeth, causing her to gasp and 
moan in pleasure.  She moved with him as his thrusts 
increased.  He felt herself souring higher with every 
movement they made. 

Elizabeth moaned his name as his lips moved to her breasts. 
He pulled her down to him and took her mouth with his. 

Rodney growled low in his throat as her muscles closed 
tightly around him.  He felt himself nearing the edge and 
he thrust faster inside her.  He heard her scream as she 
fell over the edge.  The sound caused him to follow her 
over the cliff. 

Rodney woke to find Elizabeth watching him.  Her weight on 
him was soothing and welcoming.  She smiled down upon him 
and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her against 
him.

“How are you doing?” Elizabeth asked as she ran her fingers 
through his hair.

“Wonderful,” he whispered as his fingers traced circles 
over her skin.  “I could stay here all day.”

“You just might,” she said and kissed him again.  “I love 
you.”

Rodney’s heart melted at the sound of those words.  He knew 
he would never get tired of hearing those words.  “I love 
you, too.”





				   END