Title: Because of You 
Pairing: McWeir  
Rating: NC-17 
Summary: Rodney and Elizabeth find an Ancient device that 
increases desire. 
Disclaimers: Don’t own them, wish I did.



10/13/07



Chapter One



“I think its worth checking out,” Rodney McKay said as he 
stood before Elizabeth.

She looked at the report of the energy readings he found in 
a deep part of the city.  There were several unexplored 
labs and rooms down there, but this was the only one which 
gave off these readings.  His curiosity was piqued as was 
his excitement. 

“I agree,” Elizabeth said, standing.  “I think I’ll go with 
you.”

Rodney stared at her, blinking in surprise.  It was rare 
for her to go on their missions Offworld.  It was even more 
infrequent for her to explore the city.  The fact she 
wanted to go to a lab with him, excited him even more. 

“I’ll meet you at the transporter in fifteen minutes,” 
Rodney said, smiling.

She returned the smile, his pulse pounding.  He spun on his 
heel and left her office to get his equipment. 

Fifteen minutes later, Rodney found Elizabeth waiting by 
the transporter.  She looked lovely in her black jacket 
over her dark shirt.  Her dark brown hair framed her face, 
bringing out her green eyes. 

“Ready?” Rodney asked as he moved his hand over the door 
controls. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Elizabeth answered as the door opened. 

They stepped into the transporter and Rodney touched the 
screen where the lab was located.  The door closed and a 
second later the door opened onto a dark corridor. 

“It should be down the hall on the right,” Rodney said as 
they stepped into the hallway. 

Rodney turned on a flashlight and led the way down the 
hall.  He kept one eye on the detector and another on where 
he was going.  The beeping on the detector increased and he 
smiled, knowing they were about to unlock one of the many 
secrets of Atlantis.  He was barely able to contain his 
exhilaration. 

“We’re almost there,” he said as he half jogged down the 
corridor. 

“Slow down, Rodney,” Elizabeth said from behind him.  “It 
can wait a bit longer.”

“Sorry,” Rodney said and slowed his pace.  He looked at her 
as she caught up with him.  “We’re here.”

“Good,” Elizabeth said, her eyes sparkling.  “Let’s see 
what you’ve found.”

Rodney smiled and got to work on the door controls.  He 
made short work of them and in a couple of minutes, the 
doors opened.  

“We’re in,” he said and shone his flashlight into the dark 
room.  

The light fell on a few consoles scattered through out the 
lab as well as tables along the wall. 

“Can you bring the lights on?” Elizabeth asked. 

“Of course,” Rodney said as he went into the room, bringing 
out his laptop along the way.  He placed it on one of the 
tables and turned it on.  Bringing out some cords he 
proceeded to connect the laptop to the nearest console. 

“What do you think they used this lab for?” Elizabeth 
asked, holding the flashlight for him. 

“Numerous things,” Rodney answered as he typed on the keys.  
“I can find out as soon as I get into the system.  But if 
you want me to guess, I’d say experiments.”

The lights came on a moment later and Rodney blinked 
against the brightness.  He switched off the flashlight and 
took a look at the lab.  It appeared just like his as a 
sense of familiarity came over him.  

I wonder if I could move my lab down here, Rodney thought 
then he looked at Elizabeth.  It might have more room, but 
it was further away from her.  He didn’t like the idea when 
he put it in perspective. 

“What’s this?” Elizabeth said as she went to a table in the 
center of the room. 

“Must have been something they were working on,” Rodney 
answered as he followed her to the table.  

An unpretentious black mechanism lay on the table.  It was 
the size of a credit card, but thicker.  Rodney was 
surprised by its simplicity and he wondered what the 
Ancients had created it for.  

Rodney picked the device up and lights came on instantly.  
He stared at it, stopping himself from dropping it in 
surprise.  

“It must be activated by the gene,” Elizabeth said as she 
touched his arm. 

Instantly, a tingling sensation rose up in Rodney.  His 
heart raced at her touch and he stared into her eyes.  
Surprise reflected back at him.

“You feel it, too?” Elizabeth asked, breathless.

He nodded as a blue glow grew around them.  Rodney dropped 
the device, but the radiance continued to engulf them like 
a blanket.  

“What is this?” Rodney asked as the illumination surrounded 
them.  He placed Elizabeth behind him, much to Elizabeth’s 
protests. 

“It has us surrounded, Rodney,” she said, her hands on his 
back, calming him.  

“John, are you there?” Elizabeth asked.  “Rodney and I are 
trapped in a lab.  Can you hear me?”

Elizabeth waited a moment then tried again.  She sighed and 
shook her head.  No one could hear them. 

Rodney had no idea what it was or why it had them 
surrounded.  He attempted to step through the glowing 
bubble only to have it follow him as if it was attached to 
him.  

If I can’t get us away from it, I’ll focus on Elizabeth, 
Rodney thought as he kept her close to him. 

He wrapped his arms around Elizabeth as the two huddled 
down to the floor.  The radiance closed in on them and 
there wasn’t anything he could do.  

Elizabeth gasped and Rodney stared at her.  The blue glow 
entered her body and he would have panicked if it hadn’t 
happened to him as well.  He watched in both fascination 
and terror as the illumination entered his body as if 
absorbed.  He looked at Elizabeth, who stared at him in 
wonder. 

“That was interesting,” Rodney said a moment later. 

“Terrifying is more like it,” Elizabeth said as he helped 
her to her feet.  “I don’t want to go through that again.”

She looked at the device as if it would bite her.  He 
didn’t blame her.  He didn’t want to touch the thing again. 

“I’ll see if I can find it in the database,” he said, 
heading back to his computer.  “If you want to go back, I 
wouldn’t blame you.”

“And leave you alone down here?” She said in a voice 
telling him he was crazy.  “I don’t think so.  There’s no 
telling what other devices are in this lab.  Some of them 
might be more dangerous than this one.”

Rodney smiled and faced her.  She was beautiful when she 
was angry and concerned.  He wanted to kiss her.  Heat 
poured through him straight to his groin.  The sudden surge 
of arousal surprised him and he turned away before she 
could see the evidence of his attraction to her.  

“Thanks for the concern, but I think I’m going to be more 
careful.  I don’t want something like that to happen 
again.”

“I know, but I’ll stay anyway and keep you company.”

Rodney closed his eyes as his desire rose at the fact she 
was staying with him.  He shook his head to force it down 
and focused on searching the database. 

Several notes on different experiments and creations 
scrolled before him, but none of them had anything to do 
with the card they’d found.  Frustrated, Rodney moved away 
from the computer and stopped before the table.  He placed 
his hands on the table and glared at the device. 

“What the hell are you?” Rodney growled, wanting to toss 
the thing across the room.

“You don’t have to find it right this minute, Rodney,” 
Elizabeth said, placing a hand on his.  “We know where this 
place is.  We can come back and search again.”

Rodney looked at her, knowing she was right.  He closed his 
eyes, allowing himself to feel her hand on his.  It soothed 
him and he was grateful she was here.  If he had been by 
himself, he’d have continued searching until he dropped. 

“Thanks,” he sighed.  “I’ll get a team on this tomorrow.”

“Good idea,” Elizabeth said, smiling.  “Let’s grab some 
lunch.”

“After you,” he said, loving her smile.  He took one last 
look at the card and a tingling sensation went through him.  
He turned away.  

What had happened to them and why? 

Chapter Two



“So he found another lab,” John Sheppard said in the 
briefing room the next day.  “Did he find anything useful?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.  He 
stared at the man, not taking the bait.  

“It was a small device about the size of a credit card,” he 
answered, folding his arms across his chest.  “Until I find 
out what it was used for, I’m going to doubt its 
usefulness.”

He looked over at Elizabeth and found her staring at him.  
It wasn’t her usual expression, though.  She looked at him 
attentively and a shiver rippled through him.  He shifted 
in his seat, his pulse thundering.  

“You keep looking then,” Sheppard said, interrupting his 
thoughts.  “Right now, we have a mission to go on.  If you 
can tear yourself away from your computer, that is.”

“I’m not tethered to it,” Rodney snapped, standing.  “I’ll 
get ready.”

“Good,” Sheppard said, smiling.  “See you in ten minutes.”

Rodney rolled his eyes only to have them fall on Elizabeth.  
She smiled at him as she stood.  

“You shouldn’t let John goad you like that,” she said as 
she stood before him.  “It only gives him a reason to keep 
doing it.”

Rodney shrugged, hoping she didn’t notice his growing 
arousal at her nearness.  “I can give as good as I get.  I 
have an endless supply of comebacks.”

“Just don’t get so occupied with trying to out do each 
other that you forget where you are.  I want you to come 
back in one piece.”

“I can do two things at once,” Rodney said as he followed 
her out the door.  

Elizabeth looked at him with a smoldering flame in her eyes 
that startled him.  He swallowed, suddenly nervous.  He 
took a deep breath to calm himself.  He cleared his throat 
and glanced away.

“I should get ready,” he said then hurried past her toward 
his quarters.

~*~

Rodney stepped onto the planet and was instantly grateful 
for the heavy indigo coat he wore.  The biting wind stung 
his face as snow flurries flew through the air.  The sun 
barely pierced the cloudy grey sky.  A gloomy mood settled 
over him as he gazed at the snow covered landscape.

“Well, this is cheery,” he grumbled as he trudged through 
the ankle deep snow.  

“How far to the town, Teyla?” Sheppard asked, ignoring 
Rodney’s remark. 

“Over that hill,” she answered, nodding toward a steep rise 
on the horizon.

“Wonderful,” Rodney said as he zipped up his coat.  He was 
never one for extreme temperatures.  He hated the cold and 
right now he would give anything to be somewhere warm. 

Preferably somewhere balmy with Elizabeth.

His thoughts drifted toward her and the way she had looked 
at him.  She had never looked at him with such intensity 
before.  If he didn’t know better, he’d swear it was 
desire.  

That can’t be right, Rodney thought, his heart racing at 
the idea.  She’s never once shown any interest in that way.

He was so perplexed by it, he almost stumbled.  He caught 
himself and glared at the offending rock covered in snow.  

“Let’s go, McKay,” Sheppard said.  

Rodney turned and headed up the hill.  The biting wind was 
seeping into his coat and he hoped these people lived in 
descent houses and not tents.  He’d probably freeze to 
death before they even started trade agreements. 

He crested the top of the hill and stared out at the valley 
below them.  Laid out before them in welcome was the town.  
It covered most of the valley and he saw smoke coming out 
of chimneys.  His spirits rose as he thought of warming his 
hands by a fireplace.

“They are quite different from what we’re used to,” Teyla 
mentioned as they headed down the hill.  “Be prepared for 
strange looks and suspicion.”

“Why?” Sheppard asked.

“It took my people several months to get them to trust and 
accept us,” Teyla answered.  “Our appearance is not what 
they are used to.  Allow me to do the talking, for they 
will not trust you.”

“My day just brightened,” Rodney said as they drew near the 
town.  “I take it they do not look like us.”

“At first glance, they do,” Teyla said.  “On close 
examination, you will notice something odd about their hair 
and clothes.”

“Really?  Should be interesting.”

“Do not stare, Rodney.  They will only become more 
suspicious.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but said nothing.  He wouldn’t be 
held responsible if he stared.  She shouldn’t have raised 
his curiosity like that.  Now he was even more interested 
in knowing what these people looked like. 

The snowfall picked up as they neared the town.  The wind 
blew the snow around them making it nearly impossible to 
see. 

“Here comes one of them,” Teyla shouted above the wind.

Rodney narrowed his eyes, trying to see.  He saw a tall 
figure walking toward them.  It wore what appeared to be a 
long coat.  As it closed the gap between them, he saw it 
was a woman, black hair flying free in the wild wind. 

“Teyla,” she said with a smile.  “It is good to see you 
again.”

Teyla bowed her head, “Like wise, Cressida.  These are my 
friends, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay and Ronon Dex.”

Rodney watched as the woman looked each of them over.  He 
wished she would hurry up and take them inside.  He could 
feel a cold coming on, his nose was already running.  He 
sniffed then coughed as a snowflake went up his nose. 

“Are you all right?” Cressida asked, cocking her head to 
the side in interest.

“No,” he griped.  “I’m catching a cold.  Can we go inside 
now?”

“This way,” she said and led them into the town. 

The blizzard picked up and Rodney was barely able to make 
out the buildings as they passed them.  They were tall, 
probably two stories, but that was all he could tell of 
them.  The wind was loud, whipping at them as if testing 
their endurance.  He held onto the hood of his coat, to no 
avail.  He didn’t hear his boots crunch the snow on the 
cobblestone streets.  

Rodney sniffed and wiped his nose as the snow and wind 
stung his face.  He noticed the woman wasn’t affected by 
the frost and wind.  Was she immune to it or didn’t care?  
He made a note to ask her about it.  

If I don’t die from the cold first, he thought as they 
traveled deeper into the town. 

Beginning to think they would be walking forever, Rodney 
sighed in relief when Cressida opened a door to a building 
on their right.  He picked up his pace and hurried into the 
building first.  Blessed warmth came at him like a welcome 
hug.  He stood in the middle of the room and closed his 
eyes, letting the heat wash over him. 

“Feeling better?” Sheppard asked.

Rodney stared at him, but said nothing.  Instead, he took 
in the room.  It was done in warm reds and yellows.  A 
fireplace to his left gave off the much needed heat.  

“This is my home,” Cressida said, shutting the door behind 
her.  

She stepped further into the room and headed toward a table 
in the center.  On the table was a bottle filled with a 
dark brown liquid.  She poured it into several glasses and 
handed one to each of them. 

In the firelight, Rodney noticed there was something 
different about her.  Her black hair was streaked with gold 
highlights.  On first notice, he’d have assumed they were 
natural blonde highlights, but these sparkled like real 
gold.  He stared in fascination as the light from the fire 
reflected in them.  They seemed to burn with the flames. 

Cressida turned her attention to him and was held still by 
her violet eyes.  

“How’s the wine?” She asked.

Rodney looked into his glass.  He hadn’t expected the dark 
liquid to be wine.  It looked more like whiskey.  He took a 
sniff, glad he was still able to smell anything at all.  
The wine smelled sweet with a hint of flowers.  He took a 
cautious sip as he looked at Cressida. 

“It’s sweet,” he said after he swallowed.  “Like fruit.”

“It is a rare fruit,” Cressida said, smiling.  “Found only 
high in the mountains.”

Warmth from the wine spread through him, chasing away the 
winter chill.  He closed his eyes, savoring the taste of 
the wine.  Would Elizabeth taste like this if he kissed 
her?  The thought sent a different kind of warmth spreading 
through him.  He opened his eyes and put the glass down on 
the table. 

“We don’t normally trade with outsiders,” Cressida said as 
she sat at the head of the table.  “Too many differences to 
get through, but Teyla’s people has shone us it is 
possible.  You don’t seem much different from her, so I am 
willing to offer trade with you.”

“Thanks,” Sheppard said, his expression saying he didn’t 
know whether that was a compliment or not. 

“Since you enjoy my wine I will teach you how to make it 
and give you enough fruit to make it,” Cressida said.  “In 
exchange one of you has to marry one of us.”

Rodney saw the exchange of shocked looks.  He was stunned 
as well.  No one suggested a wedding in exchange for goods.  
Did these people really want to integrate themselves into a 
culture that was obviously different from theirs?

“Are you sure?” He asked.  “We are as different from you as 
one can get.”

Cressida smiled, her violet eyes dancing.  He suddenly had 
the feeling he was the one on the chopping block.  He 
swallowed as he glanced around the table. 

“If we are to be more open with others, we need to agree to 
such a marriage.  We will be able to learn from each other 
and exchange knowledge as well as fruit.”

“Who is the lucky person?” Sheppard asked, earning a groan 
from Rodney. 

“You, John,” Cressida answered.  “You are the best 
candidate.”

Relief washed through Rodney as he sank in his chair.  He 
looked over at Sheppard and saw the man was about to 
strangle someone.  He was glad he wasn’t in the man’s 
shoes.

“Look, I’m flattered really, but I don’t think I can marry 
anyone,” Sheppard said.  “I have enough responsibilities 
without adding a wife to the list.”  

Cressida sipped her wine, a smile dancing in her eyes.  She 
set the glass down as she spoke.  “I know it is 
overwhelming at the moment, but once you meet her, you will 
agree to this agreement.”

“How do you know she even agreed to this?” Sheppard asked.

“She came to me with the idea,” Cressida answered, 
standing.  “It is her choice to be married to an outsider.  
She wants the same as I do; to open our society to others.  
It is the only way we can survive.”

Cressida left the table and headed to the other side of the 
room.  Rodney raised an eyebrow and glanced at Sheppard as 
Cressida opened the door.  Sheppard looked both curious and 
ready to bolt. 

“This is who you will be marrying, Sheppard,” Cressida said 
as she stepped out of the darkness. 

The group turned as one to view John’s new wife.  Rodney’s 
eyes widened at the vision before them.  Her auburn hair 
also had gold highlights.  A dark green dress sparkled with 
gold and fell to the floor in waves.  Her soft brown eyes 
took them all in; a shy smile on her lips. 

“This is my daughter, Tatiana,” Cressida said. 

“When you put it that way,” Sheppard said, surprise in his 
voice. 

“The ceremony will take place tomorrow morning,” Cressida 
said.  “You will be allowed to leave then with the recipe 
and the fruit trees.”

“Thank you, Cressida,” Teyla said, standing. 

“There are rooms upstairs for your stay,” she continued. 
“Tatiana will show you to them.”

Tatiana led them up the stairs and Sheppard took the 
opportunity to question her. 

“So you volunteered to marry me?”

“It was my idea,” Tatiana answered.  “If we are to survive, 
we must open ourselves to other people; trade with them, 
even allow them to join us.  Otherwise, we will cease to 
exist as a people.”

“So you think marrying an outsider will help?” Sheppard 
asked as they headed down the hallway of the second floor.

The hallway was lit by small torches on the wall.  A red 
and yellow runner on the floor muffled their footsteps. 

“Yes,” she answered as she stopped at a door on the right.  
“This will be your room.”

“Thanks,” Sheppard said and opened the door. 

Rodney took the room on the left across from Teyla.  The 
room was dark, lit only by two torches on the walls and a 
candle on the nightstand by the bed.  He sighed and slipped 
his coat off, tossing it on a deep blue chair by the door.  
He walked across the hardwood floor, padded by a rug with 
an intricate design in blue and gold.  

The wind pounded on the window, tossing snow as if it could 
break the glass.  He went to the window and stared out into 
the whiteness.  Elizabeth’s green eyes looked back at him 
and he suddenly missed her.  The emotion was so 
overwhelming it was almost painful.  He closed his eyes, 
pushing it aside.  He had never felt such a sensation 
before and it surprised him. 

I’ll see her tomorrow, he told himself as he pushed away 
from the window.  It’s this damn place, making me feel 
lonely.  If it’s like this all the time, no wonder Cressida 
wants to get her daughter married.  Get her out of here and 
see what the sun looks like. 

Rodney sighed and sat on the blue-black bedspread and 
pulled off his boots.  He let them drop to the floor with a 
thud.  He lied back on the bed and stared at its canopied 
ceiling, thoughts of Elizabeth floated in his mind.  His 
dreams followed those thoughts. 















Chapter Three




Elizabeth paced her office, waiting for Sheppard’s team to 
return.  They were due back yesterday, but John had called 
and said they were invited to a wedding in exchange for 
fruit to make wine.  She had allowed it, now though she 
regretted it. 

What is wrong with me? She thought in worry.  She knew she 
worried about her teams, even John’s, but this was 
different.  She missed Rodney to the point of wanting to go 
to the planet and get him back.  It terrified her and she 
didn’t know what had brought it on. 

She braced her hands on her desk, stopping herself from 
wearing a hole in the floor.  She liked Rodney, even cared 
about him, but this new feeling was sudden and caught her 
off guard.  Where had it come from? 

“Offworld activation,” Chuck’s voice broke into her 
thoughts. 

Elizabeth raced into the room, holding her breath as she 
waited for the IDC. 

“It’s Sheppard’s team.”

“Let them in,” she said, relief washing over her.  She 
headed down the steps as the shield was lowered.  

Teyla stepped through first followed by Ronon and John.  
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as a red-headed woman about the 
same height as John walked beside him. 

“Who is this?” Elizabeth asked as Rodney stepped through 
the gate.  She kept her eyes on him as John answered. 

“This is Tatiana,” John said. “My wife.”

Elizabeth stared in surprise at John then at the woman.  
Tatiana’s brown eyes stared back as if gauging Elizabeth.  
Whatever she found caused her to relax and smile. 

“We were married this morning,” she said, her voice light.  
“I have brought with me the wine recipe and the fruit 
baring trees that make it.”

“It’s really good,” John said, putting his arm around the 
woman.  “I’m going to show her my room.”

“Right,” Elizabeth said, her hands folded before her.  
“Welcome to Atlantis, Tatiana.”

“Thank you,” Tatiana said as John led her from the room.  
She stared after them, wondering what had happened on that 
planet. 

“They sprang that one on us,” Rodney said from beside her. 

She turned to look at him and was struck speechless by his 
blue eyes.  She watched as they darkened, causing her heart 
to skip a beat.  She forced herself to look away before he 
saw how much he affected her. 

“Explain what happened,” Elizabeth said as they strode down 
the corridor. 

“For one it was freezing,” Rodney answered, his hands 
moving as he spoke.  “I do not want to go back there if I 
can help it.”

Elizabeth smiled, imaging him trudging through the snow, 
griping all the way. 

“Anyway,” Rodney continued.  “They said they will trade 
their wine recipe and the fruit if one of us will marry one 
of them.  Apparently, they already had Sheppard in mine to 
marry Cressida’s daughter.”

“Interesting,” Elizabeth said.  “What made this Cressida 
pick John?”

Rodney snorted and Elizabeth looked at him.  “She said he 
was the best candidate, whatever that means.  Course, he 
tried to get out of it, saying he has too many 
responsibilities.”

“Well, he can add Tatiana to the list,” she said.  “I 
suppose you didn’t find anything of a scientific nature?”

Rodney laughed as they entered the mess hall.  He grabbed a 
tray and picked and chose what to put on it.  She watched 
him as he answered. 

“It was too damn cold to even think about searching, much 
less actually looking.”

“I’ll make a note not to send you to a snowy planet,” 
Elizabeth teased, earning a glare from him. 

“Thanks,” he said then headed toward a table.  

She followed him, eyeing him with interest.  She had a nice 
view of his backside and she took her time gazing at it.  
Her heart rate increased as did her breathing.  She was 
surprised by her reaction to him.  She shook her head as he 
sat at a table.  She sat across from him and focused on the 
food on her plate to keep her mind off the scientist before 
her.  

“At least we get some great tasting wine out of the deal,” 
Rodney said, causing her to grin.  

“I can’t wait to try it,” she said, looking up at him.  
“What does it taste like?”

“Fruity,” he answered, popping a grape in his mouth.  “It 
smells like flowers, too and it looks like whiskey.”

“Interesting,” Elizabeth said, smiling.  

“Thinking of getting someone drunk?” Rodney asked suddenly, 
startling her.

“Why do you ask?” She stared at him, wondering why he would 
ask such a question.  Was he thinking of getting someone 
drunk?  Why would he need to?

Rodney glanced away, looking down at his food.  He pushed 
some of it around on his tray, avoiding the question.  She 
cleared her throat, getting his attention. 

“Rodney?” Elizabeth asked using the tone of voice she knew 
would get him to answer. 

“I didn’t mean to imply anything,” he said, his voice 
rising in pitch.  “I don’t know why I even asked it.  You 
don’t have to answer.  It was a stupid question.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.  What was wrong with him?  
First, he was asking strange questions then he was backing 
out of them.  She shook her head and sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “I wasn’t thinking of getting 
anyone drunk, though I was thinking about what to do with 
it.”

Rodney visibly relaxed.  She hated causing him anxiety.  
She reached across the table and placed her hand on his 
arm.  She watched as his eyes darkened.  He stared at her 
in a mixture of surprise and longing.  The second caught 
her off guard.  She backed away, her heart racing. 

“I have to go,” she said, standing.  She spun on her heel 
and headed for the door, careful to keep from running.  How 
long had he felt that way about her?  How could he have 
kept it to himself and she not know?  She’d always been 
able to read him so well. 

Elizabeth stopped half-way down the hall and leaned against 
the wall.  She folded her arms across her chest as she 
realized she ran from Rodney.  She left him there and she 
didn’t doubt he was wondering what had happened.  She 
sighed and turned to head back. 

“Rodney,” she stated surprised to see him behind her.  Had 
he ran after her?  “I’m sorry for leaving you there.  I 
don’t know what came over me.”

“I do,” he said as he stepped closer to her.  

The breath left her body as he placed his hands on her 
arms.  She stared into his eyes and saw what he was about 
to do.  The touch of his lips on hers sent a shock wave 
through her body.  His kiss was gentle, testing her 
reaction.  

She flicked her tongue out to touch his lips and he 
shivered.  She smiled as her hands moved up his arms to 
bury themselves in his hair.  She heard him moan as he 
deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with the tip of his 
tongue. 
The world fell away as Elizabeth gave herself over to the 
sensations Rodney caused within her.  It was only the two 
of them in a galaxy of desire.  She barely felt the solid 
wall behind her as they gave themselves over to the passion 
that had been building. 

Rodney’s arms wrapped around her, bringing her closer to 
him and his heat. She wanted to feel more of him.  Her 
hands roamed down his body and under his shirt.  He moaned 
into the kiss, fanning the flames. 

The door to the mess hall opened bringing Elizabeth back to 
reality.  She pulled away from Rodney, stepping away as one 
of Carson’s staff came into the hallway.  She nodded to the 
little blonde as she hurried back to work. 

“I guess I’ll take a look at the lab,” Rodney said, his 
gaze looking at anywhere but her. 

“I’ll see you later then,” Elizabeth said, suddenly feeling 
bereft and longing for his touch again.  What had come over 
her?  

She made it a point not to start relationships with those 
she worked with.  She had feelings for Rodney, but she 
didn’t want to act upon them, knowing they worked so 
closely together.  She didn’t want her feelings to 
interfere with their working relationship.  Now, she had 
kissed him.

But you enjoyed it, she thought as she watched him walk 
away.  You need this.  You need him.

Not if it will ruin working with him, the logical side of 
her thought.


~*~


Rodney entered the lab in the lower levels of the city.  
Most of his staff was hard at work searching through the 
databases for answers to what the card-sized device was.  
They had come up empty so far, but he wasn’t about to give 
up.  There had to be something.  Why create a device and 
not write any notes on it? 

“There’s so much to look through,” Zelenka said when Rodney 
asked if any progress had been made.  “It could take days 
to go through it all.”

“Have you tried narrowing the search?” Rodney asked as he 
headed to a table and placed his laptop upon it. 

“Yes and it is not enough.  We may be down here awhile.”

Rodney sighed as he hooked up his laptop to a console.  He 
wanted to find out what had caused the blue lights and why.  
He hated not knowing the answer to something, but he was 
determined to find out.  

I’ll find a way to get those answers, he thought as the 
computer booted up.  

“We did find many different experiments the Ancients were 
working on,” Zelenka mentioned.

“Do any of them mention this device or the use of lights?” 
Rodney asked, holding up the card.  He stared at Radek, his 
eyes narrowed. 

Zelenka looked down as if the floor held all the answers.  
“No.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, tossed the card back on the table 
and typed some keys.  “Then I’m not interested.”

He heard Zelenka leave as he focused his attention on the 
writing before him.  He scrolled through the database, 
searching for anything that would reveal the secrets of the 
device. 














Chapter Four




Rodney stared at the computer screen, annoyance building 
within.  After five hours they weren’t any closer to 
finding what the device was used for. 

Grumbling, he shoved away from the table and paced the 
room.  The problem was he couldn’t concentrate.  Everytime 
he tried to focus on his work, thoughts of Elizabeth crept 
into his mind.  Heat flooded his body as he imagined her 
scantily clothed.  

He couldn’t get her out of his mind and he feared it might 
affect his job.  He was attracted to Elizabeth, but he 
always kept it under control.  What had happened to 
increase his desire for her? 

Rodney picked up the card device, turning it over in his 
hands.  Did this have anything to do with it?

Frustrated, he tossed the mechanism on the table and left 
the lab.  He needed a break before he damaged something.  
He entered the transporter then headed toward the mess 
hall. 

He was half-way down the corridor when Elizabeth came 
toward him.  His heart raced at the sight of her.  His arms 
itched to hold her as he quickly closed the gap between 
them.

“How goes the search?” Elizabeth asked, smiling.

Rodney sighed as they strode into the mess hall.  “Not 
good.  Five hours and nothing to show for it.”

“You’ll find it,” she said.  “Give it time.”

She touched his shoulder and a jolt of electricity shot 
through him.  His breath caught in his throat as his body 
tingled from the touch.  He moved away from her before he 
did something that would embarrass them both. 

“I’m starving,” Rodney said as he grabbed a tray and dished 
up some food.  He looked back at Elizabeth and saw her 
shake her head.  He smiled at her as she tried not to smile 
back. 

They made their way to a table and sat.  Rodney tried to 
focus on his food, but the knowledge that Elizabeth was 
right across from him crept to the front of his mind.  He 
felt like a school boy with his first crush, but it was 
more than that.  The kiss they shared proved it to him.  

He looked at her and wondered if she felt something for him 
as well.  She hadn’t run away when he’d kissed her.  In 
fact, she was willing and eager, kissing him back with as 
much passion.  

If that door hadn’t opened would we have taken it further? 
Rodney thought as he dug into his meal.  Would she have 
wanted to?

Rodney didn’t think so.  He knew Elizabeth.  She would have 
stopped the kiss before it went any further.  

The taste of her still remained on his tingling lips.  He 
closed his eyes and imagined the feel of her against him 
again.  He instantly regretted it as his arousal grew.  He 
inwardly groaned and forced his eyes opened. 

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked, her eyes full of 
worry. 

“I’m fine,” Rodney said, trying not to squirm in his chair.  
He then motioned to his food, smiling. “This is delicious.”

He felt her eyes upon him as he dug into his food.  He 
didn’t want to tell her what she did to him, just by 
sitting across from him.  He tried to avoid eye contact to 
no avail.  The sensation of her eyes upon him burned his 
skin and he looked up. 

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as if not believing his answer.  
“I know you better than that, Rodney.  You’re not fine.”

Rodney sighed and sat back in his chair.  He folded his 
arms across his chest as he stared at her.  He should have 
known she wouldn’t take his answer at face value.  She was 
too attuned to him as it was. 
“I’m frustrated with the lack of information on that 
device,” he told her.  “There should be something.  The 
Ancients never did anything without writing something about 
it.”

“I’ll have some people looking through the databases up 
here,” Elizabeth offered as she speared a carrot.  

“That will help, thanks,” Rodney said.  “I just can’t 
believe that they made this thing and didn’t bother to 
leave any notes.”

“This is really getting to you isn’t it?” Elizabeth asked.  

“I don’t like unanswered questions,” he answered, reaching 
for his coffee. 

It was his turn to eye her as she dug into her lunch.  The 
sun filtering in from the windows shone in her hair, 
bringing him thoughts of warmth.  He wanted to share that 
with her as erotic images played in his mind.  His chest 
and groin tightened and he took a deep breath to calm his 
racing emotions.  If he kissed her again, he doubted he 
would be able to stop. 

Rodney cleared his throat, getting her attention.  She 
looked at him with green eyes filled with curiosity.  He 
blinked at her, at a loss for words.  He wracked his brain 
for something to say as he drowned in her arousing gaze. 

“All right,” Elizabeth said, tossing her napkin on the 
table and leaning back in her chair.  “It needs to be said 
and I guess I’ll be the one to say it.”

Rodney blinked again.  What is she talking about? 

“The kiss,” she said as she folded her arms across her 
chest.  “I didn’t expect that from you.”

He felt his face grow warm.  He cleared his throat again as 
he glanced around the room.  People were beginning to leave 
and headed back to work.  He and Elizabeth were seated in 
near the windows, away from prying ears.  He looked back at 
her, waiting for him to say something. 

“I didn’t expect it from me, either,” he said softly as he 
pushed the remaining food around his tray.  “I didn’t know 
I was about to do it until I did it.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” she said, 
startling him. 

He stared at her, words filling his mind, but his mouth 
refused to work.  He wanted to tell her he had always felt 
that way about her.  How he dreamed about her and wanted to 
fill her ever wish.  He remained silent instead, 
overwhelmed by the thought she might already know.

“Is this seat taken?” John Sheppard asked, pulling the 
chair out and sitting between him and Elizabeth. 

“It is now,” Rodney said, glaring at the man.  He was 
partially relieved, though.  He had taken the attention off 
Rodney and placed it on himself.  Elizabeth’s question had 
trudged on dangerous ground and he knew he would have told 
her the truth. 

What could it have hurt?  A part of him asked. She probably 
would be thrilled to know about your feelings. 

But probably not be able to return them, his logical mind 
retorted.  

“Earth to McKay,” Sheppard’s voice pierced Rodney’s 
thoughts.  He glared at John again, but the man only 
smirked.  “What has you so deep in thought?”

“The device we found,” Elizabeth answered.  “So far they 
haven’t been able to find anything about it in the 
databases.”

“And it’s driving you insane,” Sheppard said, smiling at 
him. 

Rodney fought back a sneer.  He stood up, grabbing his 
nearly empty tray.  “I’ll leave you two to crack jokes 
about my abilities.”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said, an apology in her voice. 

“See you later, Elizabeth,” he said and headed toward the 
exit. 
“That was uncalled for,” Elizabeth said, glaring at 
Sheppard.  

“It is driving him insane, Elizabeth,” Sheppard said, 
clearly not concerned he might have hit a sore spot with 
Rodney.  “It’s all he’s going to think about until he finds 
what he’s looking for.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.  “And here I thought I knew him 
longer than you.”

Sheppard offered her a slight smile and shrugged.  “He is 
transparent.”

She raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant this time.  
“Transparent about what, John?”

“He feels something for you,” Sheppard answered, nodding 
toward the door Rodney had left through.  “He might not say 
it, but it’s apparent through his actions.”

Elizabeth stared at the door, her thoughts going back to 
the kiss they had shared.  Did he have feelings for her?  
It would answer a lot of questions and give reason to the 
things he’d done for her.  She shook her head, afraid of 
where these thoughts might lead. 

“Rodney’s just overeager,” she said, “He wants to do 
everything cause he thinks he’s the only one who can do it 
right.”

Sheppard chuckled, “I never pegged you as one to deny 
anything in front of your face.”

“I can’t get involved with him, John,” she said, angered by 
his words.  Now she understood why Rodney rose to John’s 
baiting.  He knew where to hit with his words.  “I’m the 
leader of this expedition and I can’t forget my 
responsibilities to the people in this city.”

“Elizabeth, I was married yesterday and I’ve been able to 
fit the two nicely.  You can do the same.”

“It is not the same.  There are too many people who look to 
me for leadership.  I can’t forget that.”

“Go and break his heart then,” John said, looking at her 
with an expression that said as much. 
 
“I’m protecting him,” Elizabeth said.  “If word got out 
that…”

“If you haven’t noticed, he can bite back and make it 
hurt.”

Elizabeth sighed and stared at her cold food.  John was 
right.  Rodney wouldn’t care about rumors or what people 
would say to him.  He would be able to cut them down a peg 
with just a few words.  There really wasn’t anything 
preventing her from having a relationship. 

The only thing stopping me is myself, she thought.

“Why don’t you go find him and make him see reason?” John 
said with a smile in his voice.  “I don’t think he’ll be 
hard to find.”

Elizabeth smiled as she stood.  She shook her head as she 
put her tray away.  She stepped out into the hallway and 
headed for the transporter.  She thought of what she would 
say to him as the transporter took her to the lower levels 
of the city.  She didn’t want them to be cliché, yet she 
didn’t want Rodney to mistake what she said. 

Actions speak louder than words, she thought as she left 
the transporter and headed for the lab.  A kiss should do 
it. 

Elizabeth entered the lab and found Rodney hard at work.  
She took the moment to watch him as he typed on the keys of 
his laptop.  She watched his fingers fly over the keys and 
her mouth became dry.  Her breathing increased as she 
imagined what else he could do with those fingers.  

She wanted him.  She couldn’t deny it anymore.  She 
couldn’t be in the same room with him without her body 
aching for his touch.  The desire she had was almost 
unbearable.  Did he feel the same everytime they were near 
each other?

Rodney growled and her heart fluttered wildly in her 
breast.  Shivers of delight rippled through her as she 
fought to control her breathing.  
I have to get out of here, Elizabeth thought.

Before she was able to turn around, Rodney turned toward 
her.  Surprise lit his blue eyes and she knew she wouldn’t 
be leaving this lab any time soon. 

“Elizabeth?” Rodney asked as he walked toward her.  “What 
are you doing here?”

Elizabeth cleared her throat and tried to look anywhere 
except at him.  It didn’t work, though for his nearness 
demanded that she notice him.  She stared into his eyes and 
was lost.  




































Chapter Five





Rodney stared at Elizabeth noticing how her eyes darkened 
and her lips parted.  His breathing increased as he closed 
the gap between them.  The urge to take her in his arms 
pulled at him.  It was hard to fight against it with her 
standing before him, looking as if she wanted him to kiss 
her. 

“I need to talk to you,” she said, her steady voice telling 
a different story from her eyes.  

“What about?” Rodney asked, taking another step closer.  

Elizabeth stepped away from him, but kept her steady gaze 
with his.  Looking into her green eyes full of desire set 
his blood afire.  He backed her up until the wall stopped 
her from going any further.  His eyes fell to her lips as 
his blood raced in his ears.  Could she hear his heart 
beating?

“The kiss we shared,” she answered, her voice still under 
control, but he detected a slight shiver.  “Do you have 
feelings for me?”

Rodney’s eyes locked with hers in surprise.  How could she 
ask such a question?  The kiss they shared should have said 
it all; unless she wasn’t completely sure herself.  

“Yes,” he whispered as he took the last step toward her and 
captured her lips once again. 

The touch of her lips against his sent warmth of desire 
flowing through his body.  He pulled her against him as he 
deepened the kiss.  His hands moved down her body to cup 
her rear.  He drew her against his arousal, causing her to 
gasp.  His tongue thrust into her mouth and he moaned at 
the moist warmth assaulting him. 

Elizabeth’s hands moved up his body and under his shirt.  
His breath caught as her fingers explored his skin with a 
feather-like touch. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney whispered against her lips.  He felt 
ready to explode from the sensations.  He didn’t think he 
could take much more. 

Elizabeth smiled up at him and he was nearly undone then.  
She removed her shirt, dropping it the floor.  A shiver of 
anticipation shot through him.  His eyes feasted on the 
sight before him as Elizabeth’s hands continued their 
exploration. 

Rodney returned the favor. His hands slowly moved up her 
arms to her shoulders, kissing her skin as he went.  He 
listened to her heavy breathing as his hands went around 
her back.  He took her mouth once again as he undid her red 
bra.  It joined her shirt as his fingers skimmed along her 
breasts.  She gasped sending another shiver through him. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth moaned, her hands busy removing his 
shirt.  

Rodney barely felt the chill in the air as he took a breast 
in his mouth.  His tongue swirled around the edge, causing 
Elizabeth to moan again.  One hand caressed her right 
breast while the other worked on removing her pants.  

“Rodney,” she whispered as he pushed her pants down.  “We 
shouldn’t do this.”

She kicked her pants away and he stared into her aroused-
filled green eyes.  She was right, but it was too late.  He 
strained against his pants.  The need for her was too 
strong to resist long enough to get them somewhere else.  

“No, we shouldn’t,” he said softly as he ran a thumb 
against her kiss swollen lips.  She closed her eyes and 
leaned into him.  He wasn’t about to let her get away.  He 
had desired her for so long, wanted her for so long.  He 
doubted he could take it if they stopped now. 

“We should stop,” Elizabeth whispered as her fingers ran 
along the top of his waistband.  He groaned at the 
sensation and watched as she slowly unzipped his pants.  
His heart beat rapidly as she slid them down his legs. 

Rodney had no thought for words as he stepped out of the 
pool of clothes.  His eyes roamed down Elizabeth’s body, 
taking in every inch of her.  He didn’t know how they had 
gotten to this point and he didn’t care.  All he cared 
about was she was here with him and he wasn’t about to let 
it get interrupted this time. 

The gap between them disappeared as they embraced each 
other.  Their tongues danced as their hands explored, 
touching and caressing.  

Rodney pulled away to kiss a trail down her throat.  The 
flames licked at him, begging for release.

His fingers weaved through the curls between her legs and 
they parted on their own accord.  His kisses moved from her 
mouth to her ear as he teased what he found there.  She 
gasped his name as he thrust a long finger deep inside her.  
He chuckled softly as he massaged a breast with his other 
hand.
      
Elizabeth rubbed herself against his hand as his motions 
increased.  She moaned his name as he removed his hand from 
between her legs.  She stared up at him as he removed his 
underwear and lifted her up.  He took her mouth once again 
as he slowly lowered her down onto him. 
      
Rodney entered her in one smooth thrust as she gasped, her 
legs wrapping around him, bringing him deeper inside her.  
Her hands buried themselves in his hair as he deepened the 
kiss and began to move inside her.  Elizabeth matched his 
rhythm and the flames built to a crescendo.  He increased 
his pace as his heart soared with the sensations of her 
skin against his. 
      
“Elizabeth,” Rodney whispered in her ear as he neared the 
edge.  He barely heard his name as they both found their 
release.

Rodney opened his eyes and found himself lying on the cold 
floor of the lab.  A warm body was wrapped around him and 
he looked down to see Elizabeth resting her head against 
his chest.  He watched her, his heart aching at the tender 
picture she gave.  He ran his fingers through her dark 
hair, loving the feel of it against his skin.  

We have to get up, he thought as it dawned on him someone 
would notice they were missing.  As much as it pained him 
to wake her, he knew they needed to get dressed before 
someone walked in on them.

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said, gently shaking her.  “Wake up.  
We need to go.”

Elizabeth snuggled deeper against him, causing him to 
become aroused once again.  He closed his eyes, sighing at 
the futileness of it all. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said, using his most irritated voice.  
“Get up.”

“Rodney,” she whispered as a hand roamed down his body.  He 
shut his eyes against the fire building inside him.  How he 
wanted to let her keep tantalizing him, but they had to 
leave. 

“Not now,” he said and sat up, taking her with him.  He 
shook her again as he called her name. 

Elizabeth opened her eyes wide.  She stared at him in 
surprise then she looked around at their surroundings.  He 
knew the moment she realized what they had done and the 
urgency of their situation.

“Rodney,” she said as she gathered her clothes.  “Why did 
you let me sleep?”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but said nothing as he dressed in a 
hurry.  He let his eyes linger on her as she put on her 
clothes.  He memorized what she looked like without them 
and it did nothing to keep his arousal at bay as she 
dressed.  He looked away before his desire became 
unbearable. 

“I take it you still haven’t found anything,” Elizabeth 
said, suddenly back to business.

The sudden transformation sent him for a loop.  He blinked 
at her, but quickly adjusted to glare at the device on the 
table.

“No,” he grumbled, wanting to toss the thing against a 
wall.  “And they haven’t found anything in the other 
databases, either.”

“I know it’s frustrating, but keep searching,” she offered, 
placing a hand on his shoulder.  “I know you’ll find it.”

Rodney sighed, but nodded.  He looked into her eyes and saw 
the confidence she had in him.  It sent his heart soaring 
and he smiled at her.  She squeezed his shoulder and 
returned his smile. 

“Let’s get out of here before I jump you again,” he said, 
smirking.

Elizabeth shook her head and led the way out of the lab. 


~*~

Elizabeth watched as Rodney left through the gate with 
John’s team.   She folded her arms across her chest and 
sighed as the gate shut down.  She stared at the dark 
circular object in the middle of the room for several 
moments before turning and stepping into her office. 

She sat at her desk and stared at her computer screen 
thoughts of what she had done with Rodney yesterday 
sweeping into her mind.  Shivers of desire fluttered 
through her as she remembered what his hands felt like upon 
her skin.  She closed her eyes as the moments replayed in 
her brain.  

Liquid fire pooled in the very center of her and she moved 
her thighs together to relieve the tension there.  Her 
breasts hardened as her breathing increased.  Her thoughts 
turned more passionate and the tension in her stomach 
knotted tighter.  

“Dr. Weir,” a familiar voice startled her out of her erotic 
thoughts.  

She looked up and saw Zelenka standing in her doorway.  She 
cleared her throat and straightened in her chair.  She 
motioned for the scientist to sit across from her.

“What is it?” Elizabeth asked as Radek sat down.
“I thought you might like to know we have made some 
progress on finding the device,” Zelenka said.

“That’s great news,” she said, smiling.  She had something 
to tell Rodney when he got back. 

“Maybe not,” he said as he adjusted his glasses.  “It is 
just mentioned that the Ancients were working on something 
with small rectangular device.” 
 
“But nothing else?”

Zelenka shook his head.  “I’m sorry, but we will keep 
looking.”

Elizabeth nodded, at least it was something.  “Good.  Keep 
me posted.”

Zelenka stood and left the office, leaving Elizabeth to her 
thoughts.  

She moved to stand in front of the floor to ceiling window 
looking over the gate room.  She stared at the Stargate, 
wondering what Rodney would think at the small amount of 
progress in solving the mystery of the device.  

He’d probably roll his eyes and wonder what took so long, 
she thought with a smile.  

Elizabeth realized then she wanted to see him again.  She 
wanted to hold him in her arms and feel his skin against 
hers.  She closed her eyes.  

Why do I feel this way?  Why do I need to be near him all 
the time?  

She sighed.  She had never been this needy for anyone 
before.  How was this happening and why?  

So I’m attracted to him and want him, but this is 
ridiculous.  

Elizabeth shook her head and decided she needed 
professional help in deciding if this was normal or 
something else.  She had never felt this strongly for 
anyone before and it terrified her. 

An hour later, Elizabeth stood in front of Dr. 
Heightmeyer’s door, debating on whether she should knock or 
head back to her office.  She decided it would be best if 
she got it over with and hope to come away from the session 
with a better understanding on what was going on with her. 

She sighed and knocked on the door.  She heard “come in” 
from the other side and hit the door’s controls.  The door 
slid open and she stepped into the doctor’s office. 

Elizabeth smiled at the surprised Kate and sat down in 
front of her.  

“Dr. Weir, what brings you here?” Kate asked.

Elizabeth looked at the clasped hands in her lap.  Words 
and thoughts whirled around in her mind.  She fought to get 
them under control and in order.  She took a deep breath 
and looked at the doctor before her.

“I don’t know how to describe it, but I have feelings for 
someone in Atlantis.”   She didn’t want to mention Rodney’s 
name.  He had enough on his plate without giving something 
else for him to worry about. 

“Does this person know you have feelings for him?” Kate 
asked as she sat back in her chair.  She picked up a 
recorder and pressed a button.  She placed it between them 
then picked up a pencil and a notepad. 

“Yes,” Elizabeth answered.  “It’s more than just feelings.  
I can’t get him out of my head.  I want to be near him.  
I’ve never had this happen to me before.  I don’t know 
what’s going on.”

“Does he have feelings for you?” Kate said as she wrote 
something down.

Elizabeth closed her eyes as she remembered the passion 
they’d shared yesterday.  There was no doubt Rodney felt 
something for her.

“Yes,” she answered.

“So what is the problem?”

Elizabeth sighed and stared at her hands in her lap.  She 
didn’t know how to explain it without sounding paranoid.  
She cleared her throat and looked at Kate.

“It is far too intense to be normal,” she said calmly.  
“I’ve been in love before, but this goes beyond it.  It’s 
almost obsessive that I always think about him and want to 
be near him everyday.  It scares me how much I need him.”

“It’s not that uncommon to feel such intense emotions in 
the beginning of a relationship.  It’s normal.”

Elizabeth shook her head.  “This feels different somehow.”

“Maybe he’s the one,” Kate said, placing her pad and pencil 
on the desk.  “Go with it and set where it takes you.  You 
might be surprised.”

She smiled at the thought and hoped it was true.  





























Chapter Six





Rodney stood beside Sheppard near the entrance to the large 
hut.  Teyla talked with the leader of the tribe they wanted 
to start relations with.  The woman refused to have 
anything to do with men and didn’t want them in her hut, 
but Teyla talked her into letting him and Sheppard stand by 
the entrance and participate.  Ronon preferred to stand 
outside. 

Rodney glanced at the interior of the hut and fought back a 
yawn.  It was bare, decorated only with this planet’s 
equivalent to dream catchers.  In one corner was a drum 
covered in a painted skin.  On the floor was a large dark 
fur obviously used as a bed.  The only interesting thing in 
the hut was red writing scrawled on the walls across from 
him.  It looked Ancient and he wanted to study it.  He 
doubted the chieftess would let him, though.  He was a male 
after all. 

He sighed deeply to prevent another yawn and moved his 
thoughts to Elizabeth.  What they had done yesterday 
floated to his mind.  Desire warmed his blood, sending it 
to pool in his groin.  He closed his eyes and fought back a 
groan of arousal.  It wouldn’t do well for them if he 
couldn’t keep his libido under control. 

“We’ll have you back to your computers in a bit,” Sheppard 
whispered beside him. 

Rodney glared at Sheppard, but said nothing.  He wasn’t 
going to give him the satisfaction of replying. 

Before he was about to give in to sleeping while up right, 
Teyla stood.  She bowed to the chieftess then smiled at him 
and Sheppard. 

“She won’t trade with us,” Teyla said with a sigh.  “They 
can’t afford to offer us anything.  She will allow us to 
explore the surrounding lands.  Course, she demands we take 
two guides with us.”

“Right,” Sheppard said.  “She wants to make sure we don’t 
break anything.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but cleared his throat in 
agreement.  He would give anything to get out of this hut 
of boredom. 

“She said there are ruins about a mile from here,” Teyla 
said.  

“Then let’s get exploring,” he said as he stepped into the 
sunshine.  He blinked back the sudden brightness, stopping 
before he clashed with a tree.  He ran a hand over his face 
as his eyes slowly adjusted to the sunlight.

“This way,” Teyla said as she led the way toward a hill and 
into the forest.  

Two burly men joined them and Rodney had a suspicion they 
weren’t just guides.  They probably wouldn’t hesitate in 
using force to stop them from damaging anything in the 
ruins.  They took the lead as the group climbed up the 
hill. 

A warm breeze assaulted them as they reached the top of the 
hill.  Rodney stared at their surroundings, the reds and 
golds of autumn sparkled in the setting sun.  A bird’s 
shrill cry echoed in the silence causing him to look up 
into the blue-grey sky.  A large black bird flew over head, 
diving into the trees to the right. 

“The bird signals a good day,” one of the guides said, his 
voice gruff as if he hadn’t used it in weeks.  “The ruins 
are in the forest.”

“Right,” Rodney said as he followed the group down the 
hill.  The dry grass crunched under his boots as he trudged 
through the field.  “How far into the forest are these 
ruins again?”

“Half way,” the gruff voiced guide answered. 

“Great,” Rodney said, rolling his eyes.  He was in no mood 
to hike through half a forest.  By the looks of it, they 
would be hiking for an hour to get half-way. 

The forest was a few degrees colder and Rodney shivered at 
the sudden change.  He grumbled as he brought out his 
laptop and turned it on.  If there was anything of interest 
in those ruins he’ll know about it before they got there. 

The computer booted up and he typed a few keys.  The screen 
showed nothing and he grumbled in frustration.

“I’m not getting anything,” he complained as his fingers 
flew over the keyboard.  “Something must be blocking the 
signal.”

“Maybe there isn’t anything giving off readings,” Sheppard 
said.  

Rodney shook his head and closed his laptop.  If there was 
something of interest in the ruins, they’d just have to 
stumble over it.  With his luck, he’d probably be the one 
to do the stumbling.  

Light filtered through the trees, piercing the cold dimness 
the cluster of foliage caused.  He thought of Elizabeth and 
wondered if she would enjoy this.  He could imagine her 
here, excited about finding Ancient ruins.  Maybe even 
translate some writing. 

Maybe she could have translated that writing in the hut, he 
thought with a smirk.  

“What are you smiling about?” Sheppard asked, bringing 
Rodney out of his thoughts. 

He stared at the taller man.  “I think Elizabeth would have 
enjoyed it here.”

“You were thinking about Elizabeth?” Sheppard asked, 
surprised.  “I was right, you do like her.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes.  What business was it of 
Sheppard’s, if he liked Elizabeth or not?  

“Keep it to yourself,” Rodney growled.  He picked up his 
pace to get away from Sheppard’s smug grin.  

“The ruins,” the guide with the harsh voice said. 

The forest opened into a large clearing with mountains on 
the horizon over looking the valley.  The ruins themselves 
were best described as rubble.  Stone columns still stood 
as testimony that something once existed here.  

“The ruins have been here for as long as anyone can 
remember,” the younger of the two guides said.  “Some 
believe spirits still linger here.”

“Of course,” Rodney said, rolling his eyes.  “Ruins are 
always haunted.”

He received a glare from the two guides, but he ignored 
them as he headed toward the ruins.  From this far away, he 
couldn’t tell if the ruins were Ancient.  He needed a 
closer look.  

“Be careful,” the harsh voiced guide warned.  “The spirits 
are very protective of this place.  They may strike without 
warning.”

Rodney scoffed at the idea, but decided to be cautious of 
the place anyway.  Ruins were notorious for hidden debris 
one could trip over.  

He looked at a nearby column, examining it for Ancient 
writing or something to tell him the Ancients used to be 
here.  He ran his hand over the stone, but neither his eyes 
nor his fingers found anything.  

“Find anything?” Sheppard asked beside him. 

Rodney barely glanced at the man as he moved to examine a 
pile of stones.  He knelt beside them, moving away some 
dead grass and leaves. 

“I don’t think these ruins are of Ancient design,” he said, 
standing and looking at his surroundings.  “There’s nothing 
here to substantiate it was made by the Ancients.”

“I guess its back to the village then,” Sheppard said, 
almost disappointed.  

“Oh, joy,” Rodney said dusting off his hands.  “I can’t 
wait.”

“Bored, huh?”
“You can say that,” the scientist said as they headed back 
toward the forest.  “I’ve never been to a village that was 
so quiet.”

“Next time, I’ll make sure the planet we go to has a lot 
more action.”

Rodney glared at Sheppard, but said nothing as they joined 
the guides in the forest.  They headed back toward the 
village and Rodney’s thoughts turned to Elizabeth.  Her 
smiling green eyes formed in his mind.  He couldn’t wait to 
be near her again, sharing what he learned here.  He wanted 
to bring her back, hopefully try to translate the writing 
in the chieftess’ hut. 

The woman hardly gets to leave the city, he thought.  It 
would be good for her. 

The village came into view and Rodney saw the end of this 
dismal day.  He picked up his pace and strode ahead of the 
guides into the village.  If he had his way, he would have 
walked all the way back to the gate, but he knew Sheppard 
would want to attempt to change the mind of the chieftess. 

“Have a hot date, Rodney?” Sheppard asked as he came up to 
the scientist.

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “I do need to check on my lab to 
make sure it’s still there.”

“Sarcasm becomes you, McKay,” Sheppard returned as he 
headed into the hut, Teyla following.

“I think I’ll stay out here this time,” Rodney said, 
folding his arms across his chest.  “Might be more 
interesting.”

“You do that,” John stated from inside the hut.

Rodney shook his head and sighed.  He soon regretted his 
decision as he felt eyes upon him.  He looked around and 
saw several of the villagers staring at him.  He cleared 
his throat and turned his gaze to Ronon. 

“They stare at you, too?”

“Yep,” Ronon answered as he leaned up against a tree beside 
the hut.  “I just stare back.”

“Great,” Rodney grumbled as he glared at one of the men who 
stared too long.  Were they really the only people who had 
come to this boring planet?  That had to be the reason 
these people wanted to get an eye full. 

Wanting something to do, he paced, keeping his eyes on the 
ground.  He could almost hear Ronon’s grin, but he wouldn’t 
take the bait. 

“Now they’re really staring,” Ronon said and Rodney swore 
there was laughter in the man’s voice. 

“They really must be bored,” he growled.

John and Teyla came out of the hut and Rodney had never 
been so glad to see those two.  

“Can we go now?” Rodney asked, not caring if he sounded 
like a whiny brat.

“Of course, Rodney,” Teyla said as she took the lead. 

“Is that all?” Rodney said as he trudged through the tall 
grass back to the gate. 

Teyla stared at him, but said nothing.  He didn’t get an 
answer, but he didn’t expect one.  All he wanted was to get 
home to Elizabeth. 

The wind picked up as they made their way through the 
field.  A chill came with the breeze and Rodney shivered.  
He couldn’t wait to get away from this planet and somewhere 
warm.  What was with all the cold planets they kept going 
to?  He shook his head as he saw the DHD and the gate up 
ahead.  He sighed in relief. 

Teyla dialed the gate and Rodney watched as the wormhole 
appeared.  

“Let’s go,” Sheppard said as he sent his IDC. 


~*~


Elizabeth pushed her food around on the plate before her.  
The feeling something was missing had been with her ever 
since Sheppard’s team had left several hours ago.  She 
sighed, running a hand through her hair.  If this was going 
to happen every time Rodney left, then she needed to do 
something about it.  

I have to figure out what is causing it first, she thought 
as she took a sip of coffee. 

“You look like you lost something,” a voice broke into her 
thoughts.

Elizabeth looked up and saw Tatiana standing before her.  
She was surprised to see the woman, figuring she would stay 
in John’s quarters.  She cleared her throat and offered the 
woman a seat.

“Is it that obvious?” Elizabeth asked as the red-head sat 
across from her. 

“Very,” Tatiana answered with a smile.  “Who is he?”

Caught off guard by the question, Elizabeth blinked.  All 
she was able to manage was:  “What?”

Tatiana smiled as if she knew a secret.  “I can tell you 
are thinking about someone.  He must be someone special.”

Elizabeth smiled, her face warming.  She glanced away, not 
wanting this woman to know anything else about how she 
felt.  It was futile, though, for the woman was very 
observant.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less for a leader like you,” 
Tatiana said.  “Who is he?”

Elizabeth sighed, knowing the woman probably wouldn’t let 
up until she got her answer.  “Rodney McKay.  He’s a member 
of John’s team.”

“Ah, the cranky one,” Tatiana smiled, laughter dancing in 
her eyes.  “There is something about that one.  Even my 
mother caught it.”

“Not very many people see it,” Elizabeth said softly.  “I 
think he hides it on purpose. 

“Better to hide it than have someone use it to hurt you,” 
Tatiana said.

“I’d never hurt him,” she said, narrowing her eyes.  “He 
knows that.”

The redhead shrugged and picked at her food.  “With my 
people, if we are interested in someone, we do not what are 
the words John used?  Pussy-foot around.”

Elizabeth stared at Tatiana in surprise.  Were these people 
empaths?  She shook her head.  “I had this conversation 
with John already.”

“Then why do you look like he’s missing?”

“I’ve been feeling like this for a couple of weeks.  When 
he’s away, I have this sensation of longing.  I want to be 
near him all the time.  I’ve never had this with anyone 
else before.”

Tatiana smiled, her eyes dancing.  “You’re in love with 
him.  You have chosen him.  Your body and heart knows it, 
but your mind is refusing to admit it.”

“It’s just weird.  I’ve been in love before, but it’s never 
made me feel like this.”

“Then he is the one.”

Before she could reply, a voice spoke in her ear.  
“Sheppard’s team has returned, Dr. Weir.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth said, tapping her earpiece.  “I have to 
go.”

“John returns,” Tatiana said, standing.  “I will go with 
you.”

Elizabeth nodded and led the way to the gate room.

They entered the room and Elizabeth spotted Rodney standing 
amongst the group.  He must have sensed her for he turned 
his gaze to her and smiled.  Her heart picked up its pace 
and she wanted to run to him, wrap her arms around him and 
kiss him senseless.  She stamped the impulse down and 
returned his smile.  She walked up to John with Tatiana 
behind her. 

“Any news?” She asked, trying to keep her focus on John. 

“They refused to trade with us,” John said, defeat in his 
tone.  “They don’t have enough for us and themselves.”

“That’s too bad,” Elizabeth said, placing her hands behind 
her back.  “Was there anything interesting, at least?”

Rodney laughed bringing her attention to him.  It was a 
mistake as her body warmed to near burning.  She raised an 
eyebrow at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice her desire to be 
near him. 

“Even their ruins were boring,” Rodney said, venom in his 
voice.  “That has got to have been the dullest planet I’ve 
ever been to.”

“He won’t shut up about it,” John stated, irritated.  “I’m 
planning to take him to a planet in the middle of a war and 
leaving him there.”

“You will not!” Elizabeth snapped, surprising everyone.  
She cleared her throat and composed herself.  “That’s not a 
good idea.”

“I was kidding, Elizabeth,” John said, eyeing her with 
suspicion.  “I know how important he is to this 
expedition.”

Elizabeth sighed and decided to change the subject before 
she came under closer scrutiny.  “I know, John.  Let’s move 
this to the briefing room, shall we?”

She led the way up to the conference room.  Her thoughts 
were scattered thanks to her outburst.  Her reaction to 
John’s little joke surprised her.  The feeling that he 
might actually do such a thing had caused her to snap at 
him.  

This is more than just falling love with Rodney, she 
thought as she sat at the head of triangular shaped table.  
Something is messing with my emotions. 

“So they will not trade with us,” Elizabeth stated as she 
took in the group before her.  “And they don’t have 
anything else of interest.  Where does that leave us?”

“Not going back to that planet, for one,” Rodney said, 
folding his arms across his chest. 

Elizabeth tried not to look at him, but it was difficult.  
She took a deep breath as her eyes moved over his form.  
She forced herself to look into his eyes where she saw his 
eyes darkening.  

“I’m sure there are planets with more interesting ruins,” 
John said, a smirk on his face.  “We’ll try one of them.”

Elizabeth shook her head.  “You do that, John.  In the mean 
time, we’re not low on supplies, so we’re in no hurry at 
the moment.”

“If you have no more need of him, I would like to speak 
with John,” Tatiana said calmly. 

Elizabeth nodded, standing.  “The rest of you can also go.  
I need to speak with Rodney in private.”

“I bet you do,” John said with an impish grin on his face. 

She wanted to hit him, but restrained herself.  She glared 
at him instead as he left the room.  When she was alone 
with Rodney, she sat down, folding her hands on the table. 

“Zelenka made some progress,” she said, watching his 
reaction.

“Really?” Rodney said, moving toward her.  His eyes 
brightened with excitement.  “What’d he find?”

“It’s not much, but he found that they were working on 
something with that device.”

“Oh,” he said, disappointment crossing his face.  “Is that 
all?”

“They’ll keep looking, Rodney,” she said, placing a hand on 
his shoulder.  “Don’t give up, yet.”

“Of course not,” he said, staring at her as if she were 
insane.  “I want to know what that thing was used for as 
much as you do.  I’m going to have to take a closer look at 
it myself.  Run some tests on it; take it apart, everything 
I can think of.”

“Don’t wear yourself out,” Elizabeth said.  “That’s why you 
have a staff, Rodney.  If you get tired, let them take 
over.  I don’t want you to end up in infirmary.”

Rodney shook his head.  “Believe me, Elizabeth I’m not 
going to end up there if I can help it.”

Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder and he looked up at her.  
She stared into his eyes and saw the desire she felt.  Her 
mouth became dry and she licked her chapped lips.  She took 
a step back as he stood. 

“I’m glad that you don’t want to end up in the infirmary,” 
she said, hoping to distract him.  This room was private, 
but it wasn’t secure.  Someone could walk in on them, if 
they started something. 

Rodney stepped toward her, the heat coming off him 
surrounding her.  Her heart raced and she took a deep 
breath to calm herself.  This was Rodney and they had 
already made love once.  

“Rodney,” she whispered as she gazed into his eyes.  Blue 
fire burned within his eyes causing her breathing to hitch. 

Before she knew it, he pulled her into his embrace and 
kissed her.  She melted into his arms, giving in to the 
desire she couldn’t deny.  She’d longed to be in his arms 
since yesterday and now she was here.  It felt like she had 
come home and she wasn’t going to waste it. 

He ran the tip of his tongue along her lips and she opened 
for him.  He explored her mouth slowly, letting her simmer 
with growing arousal.  She moaned into the kiss, her hands 
running down his back.  They slipped under his shirt and 
followed their path up.  She smiled into the kiss as he 
moaned. 

Rodney pulled away and she slipped his shirt up over his 
head, tossing it on the floor.  She pulled her own shirt 
off.  She stood before him, loving the expression on his 
face.  She walked toward him, backing him into the table.  
He stared at her, desire, passion and need in his eyes.  
She smiled as she ran her fingers over his chest.  He 
closed his eyes, whispering her name with a voice thick 
with longing.  The temperature in the room increased as did 
her breathing. 

Not able to take it anymore, Elizabeth took his mouth with 
hers, tasting him.  She ran her hands in his hair as his 
arms wrapped around her.  The center of his desire pressed 
into her and she squirmed against him.  He groaned into her 
mouth, his fingers digging into her rear.  

Her fingers made quick work of his pants and he stepped out 
of them, kicking them aside.  He made quick work of her 
pants and underwear, then slipped his underwear off.  The 
chill of the room barely registered as she kissed him once 
again.  

She pushed him back onto the table and climbed on top him.  
She nibbled his ear and he gasped her name.  She flicked 
her tongue at his earlobe and she felt him shiver.  She 
smiled as she licked and kissed her way down his body.  The 
sounds he made sent her pulse pounding.  She loved the 
affect she had on him and she wanted more. 

Elizabeth took his mouth once again as her hand traveled 
down.  She grasped him in her hand, causing him to gasp.  
She explored his mouth with her tongue as her hand explored 
his member.  She slowly moved her hand up and down his 
length, loving his sounds of pure pleasure.

Rodney flipped them over onto her back, deepening the kiss.  
He nibbled and licked his way down her neck and chest, 
mimicking what she had done to him.  He stopped at her 
chest and took a breast into his mouth.  She gasped, 
arching toward him.  The coldness of the table left her 
mind as the warmth of Rodney’s ministrations filled her. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth sighed as he suckled her other breast. 

He slowly moved back up her body, taking his time at her 
throat.  She shivered as his tongue swirled at the spot 
where her shoulder met her neck.  She didn’t think she 
could take much more.  She wanted him to fill her, now.

“Rodney,” she groaned as she thrust her hips up to meet 
his.  He laughed softly as he took her mouth once again. 

He lifted her legs to wrap around his waist and thrust into 
her.  She gasped his name, loving the feel of him filling 
her.  She closed her eyes as he began to move.  She had 
dreamed of being with him again, but it didn’t compare to 
this.  

Elizabeth moaned his name as he increased his pace.  She 
buried her hands in his hair and brought him down for a 
kiss.  She put all her passion into the kiss, wanting him 
to know how much she felt about him.  The fire building 
between them grew to an inferno.  Their tongues matched 
what their lower bodies were doing.  She knew she wouldn’t 
be able to get enough of it. 

The tension coiled until it was both pleasure and pain.  It 
suddenly broke and she cried out his name as they fell over 
the edge. 





























Chapter Seven




Rodney stared at the device determined to unlock its 
secrets.  He stood in the Ancient lab, trying to focus on 
the task at hand and not on what had taken place ten feet 
behind him two days earlier.  He grumbled to himself and 
headed toward a console and placed the device in a slot.  
He typed a few of the crystal like keys, watching the 
screen in front of him. 

“We tried that the other day,” Zelenka said, coming up 
beside him.  “It didn’t work.”

“I’m going to try everything,” Rodney said, narrowing his 
eyes at the screen.  “Besides, there might have been 
something you missed.”

“Right,” Radek said.  “Cause we haven’t tried anything in 
past few days.”

Rodney glared at Zelenka, but said nothing.  He needed to 
figure out what this thing was used for.  He turned back to 
the screen, wanting it to show him something, anything.  

“Come on,” he whispered.  When nothing popped up, he 
growled and typed some more on the keys.  There had to be a 
back way into the device. 

“It’s no use,” Zelenka said, leaning against the console.  
“We tried that, too.”

“You obviously didn’t try hard enough,” Rodney snapped, 
trying another combination of keys. 

“Did you get any sleep?” Zelenka asked.

“That is none of your business,” he said, his eyes focused 
on the screen.  The screen finally showed the data from the 
device.  He wanted to dance around the console, but he 
refrained as he scrolled through the data.  It was in 
Ancient and would take awhile to translate. 

“Looks like you found what you wanted,” Radek said, his 
voice full of surprise.

“All it takes is determination,” Rodney said, not able to 
keep the smile off his face.  

“No, with you, it’s stubbornness.”

“Thanks,” Rodney rolled his eyes and copied the data to his 
computer.  “I’m going to get this translated and see what 
this thing was for.”

“Good luck,” Radek said.

Rodney smiled at him, excitement building.  He was so much 
closer to solving this device’s secrets.  He couldn’t wait 
to tell Elizabeth. 

The computer beeped and Rodney shut the machine down. He 
pulled the device out of the slot and left the lab. 

~*~

Elizabeth sat in her office, reading reports from the 
various Offworld teams.  Her mind wandered to the previous 
day and her face warmed.  She blinked several times to get 
herself to focus on the reports.  It didn’t work as her 
thoughts drifted further into her memories.  She closed her 
eyes as she remembered the sensations caused by Rodney’s 
hands. 

A throat clearing caused her to jump.  Her eyes flew open 
and focused on John Sheppard.  Her face flushed in 
embarrassment.  She set her reports aside, cleared her 
throat and folded her hands on top of the table.  She 
looked up at John and nodded.

“John,” she said, clearing her throat again.  “How are 
you?”

John smiled and stepped further into the room.  He placed 
his hands behind his back, his eyes dancing. 

“You seem to be riveted to those reports,” he said, 
grinning.  “Anything interesting?”

Elizabeth’s face burned and she ran a hand through her 
hair.  She stared at the table top to gather her thoughts 
and to get herself under control. 

“Is there a reason you came by, John?” Elizabeth asked, 
looking up at him.

John stood in front of her desk, his arms folded across his 
chest.  The smile turned into a grin and his eyes sparkled 
as if he knew something.  Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, 
wanting him to tell her what was going on.

“I know that distracted look,” he said.  “You have 
something on your mind other than those reports.  Were you 
thinking about a certain temperamental scientist?”

Elizabeth stared at him, blinking rapidly in surprise.  
“Excuse me?”

“You’re thinking about someone,” John said as he sat across 
from her.  “Your face is red and the faraway look in your 
eyes suggests it.  McKay?”

“Why do you care?” Elizabeth asked, not understanding why 
John would be so interested in her love life.

“I think it’s great, you’ve finally decided to date 
someone.  I thought you would be by yourself for awhile.”

Elizabeth shook her head, trying to keep herself from 
smiling.  “Yes, I am, but that’s not the real reason you’re 
here.”

John shrugged, his eyes still sparkling with mirth.  
“You’re right, but...”

“John,” she warned, raising both eyebrows. 

“All right,” Sheppard said, chuckling.  “I came by to tell 
you the Athosians were able to plant the fruit trees.  
Tatiana said the trees will take a few weeks to start 
growing.”

“And a few years before we can pick the fruit,” Elizabeth 
said, sitting back in her chair. 

“Yeah, but it’s a start.  We’ll be several years older 
before we can make some wine.”

“If we are still here by then.”

“We’ll still be here, Elizabeth,” John said, standing.  
“I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.  Now, have you 
told Rodney about your feelings, yet?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.  “It is none of your business, 
John.”

John smirked as if he knew the answer already.  He left her 
office and she sighed.  She hadn’t told Rodney about her 
feelings, but something told her he already knew.  

At least, I hope he does, Elizabeth thought as she picked 
up the reports.  

A wave of nausea came over her.  She took a deep breath to 
keep her breakfast down.  She lost the fight and ran to the 
trashcan in the corner of her office.  She released the 
contents in her stomach.  Had she caught something? 

She sat back on her knees, wiping her mouth.  Her stomach 
rolled again, but she was able to keep the remaining 
contents inside.  She ran a shaky hand through her damp 
hair and slowly got to her feet.  She took a deep breath to 
calm herself then headed for the infirmary.  If she did 
catch something, she needed to find out what it was and 
deal with it. 

“Carson,” Elizabeth called as she hurried into the 
infirmary. 

The doctor turned from his most recent patient then paled 
when he saw her.  He rushed toward her, taking her to the 
nearest bed. 

“What’s wrong?” Carson asked as he helped her onto the bed.

“I think I might have a virus,” she said.  “I threw up in 
my office.  I’m nauseous.”

“When did this start?” Carson asked as he touched the sides 
of her neck.
“A moment ago,” Elizabeth answered, her stomach protesting 
again.  “Could it have been something I ate?”

“Possibly,” Carson answered.  “I’m going to run some tests 
to be sure.”

Carson placed a thermometer under her tongue as he checked 
her pulse.  

Elizabeth sat as still as she could, but she wanted to run 
to the nearest bathroom.  She felt faint, warmth spreading 
through her body.  She closed her eyes, wanting to lie 
down.

“You have a wee bit of a temperature,” Carson said.  “Let 
me draw some blood and see what’s causing this.”

“Am I sick?” Elizabeth asked, concerned.  She couldn’t be 
ill.  She had too much to do.

“I’d like to keep you here,” Carson said.  “If you are, I 
can treat you quickly.  Plus you look like you’re about to 
faint.”

“I feel like fainting,” she replied, placing a hand on her 
head.

“Lie down,” Carson said, placing a hand on her shoulder.  
“Let the nurse draw some blood and we’ll run some tests.”

Elizabeth lay back on the bed as the tawny haired nurse 
pierced her skin with a needle.  She clinched her hands 
into fists.  She focused on something other than the pain.

“All done,” the nurse said, folding Elizabeth’s arm over a 
cotton ball.

Elizabeth smiled as the doctor left.  She sighed as Carson 
moved to the side of her bed.  She hoped she was as sick as 
she felt.  She probably looked awful.

“We should have the results in a couple of days.”

Elizabeth nodded, knowing she was in good hands for 
whatever ailed her.

“Get some rest, lass.  I’ll let you know if we find 
anything.”

~*~

Rodney stared at the screen before him, translating the 
notes he found from the device.  It was slow and tedious, 
but he was making progress.  He had learned when and how 
the device was made, but not what it was for.  It was 
frustrating being this close to the answer, yet so far 
away.  

“Come on,” he growled as the words scrolled before him.

“How is it going?” Zelenka asked, coming up behind him.

“Slow,” Rodney snapped. “That’s how it’s going.”

“No need to bite head off,” Zelenka said, crowding Rodney.

“Will you back off,” Rodney snarled, glaring at the other 
scientist.  “This is frustrating enough without someone 
hovering over me!”

“Sorry, thought I might help,” Zelenka stepped back, giving 
Rodney all the room he wanted. 

Rodney turned back to the words.  His sight blurred 
slightly and he shook his head.  He rubbed his eyes and ran 
a hand through his hair.

“Are you all right?” Zelenka asked.

Rodney swallowed the retort he wanted to give and sighed.  
He rubbed his face and glared at the screen. 

“I’ve been working on this for the past six hours,” he 
said.  “The words are starting to blur together.”

“Then it’s time to take break,” Zelenka said.  “I’ll 
continue where you left off.”

Rodney didn’t want to take a break.  He had a feeling he 
was close to finding the answers.  He blinked at the 
screen, his sight still blurring.  He shook his head.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he stood.  “Call me if you find 
anything.”

Zelenka nodded and Rodney left the lab.  












































Chapter Eight
  



Rodney hurried into the mess hall and took up a tray.  He 
looked around the room, searching for Elizabeth.  Now that 
his mind was off the Ancient writings, he craved to be near 
her.  

Where is she?  He thought when he saw no trace of her. 

He moved away from the line and headed toward the center of 
the room.  He stood over a table and used that vantage 
point to search the room again.  Still no sign of her. 

For no reason, his heart pounded in his chest.  He took a 
deep breath to calm himself and pressed his earpiece.

“Elizabeth, where are you?”

He sat down at the table, anxiety building within.  He had 
never been this nervous in a long time.  Something was 
wrong with Elizabeth, that was the only explanation for her 
not being here.  

“Elizabeth,” Rodney said again, worry choking him. 

“You’re looking for Elizabeth?” Sheppard asked, startling 
Rodney.

Rodney sighed as the other man sat across from him.  “Of 
course.  Do you know where she is?”

“I just came from seeing her in the infirmary,” Sheppard 
said, digging into his salad.

Rodney stared at him in surprise. “Why didn’t anyone tell 
me?”

“We figured you were a little busy with that device you 
found and didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Rodney bit back the retort he so wanted to let loose.  
Instead, he stood, wanting to see Elizabeth more than 
anything.  Something was wrong and he needed to know.  His 
heart raced with worry.

“She’s fine, McKay. Eat,” Sheppard said, pointing a fork at 
the scientist’s tray.

“I can’t,” Rodney said, staring at the doors to the mess 
hall.  “I need to see her.”

“Rodney,” Sheppard called, but he hurried toward the doors. 

Rodney entered the hallway and ran toward the transporter.  
He felt as if something was pushing him to his destination, 
his nerves on edge.  He passed several people in the hall, 
but they were nothing, but blurred images.  

Several scenarios ran through his mind on why Elizabeth 
would be in the infirmary; none of them good.  

She’s fine. She’s fine, he repeated in his mind, but the 
thoughts continued to get worse with each footfall. 

Rodney made it to the transporter and stepped inside, 
hitting his destination on the screen.  He bounced on his 
feet.  Time seemed to slow as he willed the elevator to 
hurry.  He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to 
calm himself, his heart pounding in trepidation.

He burst out of the transporter and raced down the hallway 
to the infirmary.  He nearly slammed into a person coming 
from the other direction.  The man was able to stop quickly 
enough as Rodney dashed passed him.  He slid to a stop 
outside the infirmary and shoved slammed the controls to 
the door. 

“Elizabeth!” Rodney shouted as he hurried inside. 

“Rodney?” Carson asked, surprised.  “What’s wrong?”

“Where’s Elizabeth?” Rodney asked, stepping toward the 
doctor. 

“Over here, Rodney,” Elizabeth’s voice washed over him in a 
calming wave.  

“Elizabeth,” he breathed in relief as he headed to the bed 
her voice originated from.  “I was worried.”
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as he came to her bedside.  He 
took a hand in his, wanting to feel her skin against his, 
reassure himself she was there and all right. 

“Worried about what?” Elizabeth asked. 

“I tried to call you earlier,” he answered.  “I was having 
lunch and thought you might like to join me.  Sheppard told 
me you were here.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she said.  “I became ill 
earlier today and came here.  I don’t think it’s anything 
to worry about.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Rodney said as he squeezed her 
hand.  She smiled at him and his heart skipped a beat.  He 
returned her smile, fighting the urge to run his hands 
through her hair. 

“Carson should know what’s wrong with me in a couple of 
days,” she said.  

“She has a bit of a temperature and she threw up an hour 
ago,” Carson said.  

Rodney glared at Carson, wanting to hit him for not letting 
him know sooner.  Elizabeth was sick and no one thought to 
inform him? 

“What’s wrong with her?” Rodney asked, stepping closer to 
Carson.

“She might have a virus,” Carson answered, folding his arms 
across his chest.  “I won’t know for sure until the results 
come back.”

“You’re running them now?”

Carson sighed.  “I’ll run them now.  I gave her something 
for the nausea, but I don’t want to give her anything else 
until I know for sure.  She might’ve eaten something that 
didn’t agree with her.”

Rodney looked at Elizabeth and hoped that’s all it was.  He 
hated not knowing, but he couldn't bear it if she was ill. 

“I’ll be fine, Rodney,” Elizabeth said.  “I’m in good 
hands.”

“I can’t stand seeing you like this,” he said, taking her 
hand again.  “Is there anything I can do?”

Elizabeth smiled, sending shivers through his body.  He 
didn’t think he could desire anyone as much as he did her.  
His eyes fell to her lips and the urge to kiss him rode him 
hard.  

“Have you made any progress on the device?” She asked, her 
voice flowing over him like a warm blanket.

Rodney sighed, realizing he left Zelenka to that task.  
“I’m getting close, but it’s a lot to go through.”

“You’ll find it,” she said, squeezing his hand.  “Nothing 
eludes you for long.”

He smiled, renewed by her confidence in him.  “That is the 
truth.  Now that I know you’re all right, I can get back to 
it.”

“Good luck,” Elizabeth said.  “I promise to inform you when 
Carson’s finished with the tests.”

Rodney nodded and headed back to his lab. 

“Ok, Radek, what have you got?” Rodney asked as he entered 
the lab.

“Not much,” Zelenka answered as he got out of the chair.  
“The experiment they used this for required two people.  
They used four groups of two and the tests took five 
months.”

“Is that all?” Rodney asked, stunned.  He closed his eyes 
to calm himself.  It was a lot more than they began with.  
If only there was a way to go through this data faster. 

“Whatever they were doing, they were successful,” Radek 
added with a slight smile.  “Only one of the test subjects 
wasn’t affected.”

“So this device had some kind of affect,” Rodney said as he 
stared at the words on the screen.  “Now if only we can 
find out what affect that was and if it had anything to do 
with blue lights.”

“It is right here,” Zelenka said, running his fingers 
across the keyboard.  “The blue lights were a way to watch 
which pairs the device chose.”

Rodney glanced at Radek, a bit miffed that Radek was able 
to find this in less time than it took him.  It rankled, 
but he pushed it aside and focused on the words. 

“Great,” he said as he sat back in the chair, folding his 
arms across his chest.  “Now we need to find the passage 
where it says what this experiment was for.  You didn’t 
happen to come across that, did you?”

“No,” Radek said, pushing his glasses up his nose.  “It 
took me awhile just to find this.”

Rodney grumbled as he turned his attention to the screen.  
“Elizabeth will be interested to learn this much.”

“You’re going to continue with this?” Radek asked, picking 
up the device.

“If you don’t mind?” Rodney said, snatching the card from 
the other scientist.  “I’ll call if I need you.”

Zelenka nodded and moved to the other side of the lab.  
Rodney sighed, tossing the device back on the table.  He 
stared at the screen, but didn’t really see it.  Something 
about this didn’t sit well with him.  The Ancients’ 
experiments were always about researching something, 
figuring something out.  What had them so interested they 
would use four groups and take five months to finish? 

They were successful, what ever it was, Rodney thought. 

He glanced at the card, wishing it’d give him more 
information.  He grumbled and forced himself to focus on 
the notes before him.  He would find the answers.  He 
wasn’t about to let Elizabeth down.  

“So did you find Elizabeth?” Sheppard’s voice broke into 
Rodney’s concentration an hour later. 
“Yes,” Rodney stated, not looking up from the screen.  “She 
told me why she was there.  Carson’s running tests.”

“Good,” Sheppard said.  “Now that’s out of your system, we 
have a planet to visit.”

Rodney looked up then, surprised.  “What?”

“Tatiana wants me to take her to a planet, since she’s 
never been to one…”

“I’m not going on a picnic with you and your wife,” Rodney 
snapped, standing. 

“Let me finish, McKay,” Sheppard said, narrowing his eyes.  
“I picked one out from the database.  The Ancients have 
been there and might have left something behind.”

Rodney’s interest was piqued.  He couldn’t pass up the 
opportunity to look at Ancient technology. 

Besides, my eyes are hurting, he thought as he stared at 
the screen. 

“Zelenka can take over,” Sheppard said.  “We leave in an 
hour.”

“Great, Rodney grumbled.  “Radek will have this thing 
figured out by the time we get back.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Sheppard said, smiling.

Rodney shook his head and called Radek over.  The other 
scientist didn’t look happy, but neither was Rodney.  
Still, he needed a break and this was the perfect moment. 

“Let me know if you find anything,” he said.  “And tell 
Elizabeth.”

“Right,” Radek said as Rodney left the lab. 

~*~

Rodney stepped through the gate and onto a beach of golden 
sand.  The wind hit him with a salty ocean spray.  He 
stared out into the ocean, the sun rising above the 
horizon.  A sense of longing came over him and he wondered 
if Elizabeth was all right. 

Carson will get the results tomorrow, and then I’ll know, 
Rodney thought as he followed Sheppard and Tatiana down the 
beach.  

“So where is this Ancient technology?” Rodney asked as he 
took out his detector and turned it on.

“I have no idea,” Sheppard said with humor in his voice.  
“I’m leaving it to you to figure out.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and looked down at the screen.  
Three life signs appeared moving aimlessly.  He glanced up 
and as they moved up a hill away from the ocean.  He 
grumbled as he climbed the rise, taking a deep breath as he 
reached the top. 

“Here we go,” he whispered as the detector beeped.  An 
energy reading appeared on the screen.  “Found it!”

“Great, go play,” Sheppard said.  “The wife and I are going 
to have that picnic.”

“Have fun,” Rodney quipped and headed in the direction of 
the reading. He began to imagine what the technology could 
be.  He picked up his pace, his excitement growing.  For 
the moment, it took his mind off the worry he had for 
Elizabeth and the strong need to be with her. 

The grass whispered over his feet as he trudged through the 
field.  He caught a whiff of fragrant flowers and his nose 
tickled.  He ignored it as he let the beeping of the 
readings lead him away from his friends. 

Where are you?  Rodney asked as he glanced up to see the 
ruins of a village before him.  He stopped in surprise.  
Was the technology in there?

The beeping continued, louder.  He shrugged and jogged 
toward the village, noting the crumbling stone houses.  How 
long had this village been here?  Did the Wraith bring 
about this destruction?  

The call of a bird caused Rodney to stop in his tracks.  He 
spotted the bird perched on what used to be the wall to a 
house.  The bird was large and white with a beak to rip 
flesh from its prey.  Its red eyes stared at Rodney, 
causing a shiver to ripple through him. 

The bird cried again then flew away, its large wings barely 
making a sound.  Rodney watched the bird fly away, then 
took a deep breath to calm himself.  He shook his head and 
glanced at the detector.  

“It’s outside the village,” Rodney said.  He hurried 
through the village, letting the beeps of the machine lead 
him to his destination. 








































Chapter Nine




The beeping led Rodney to a clearing surrounded on three 
sides by forest, the ruins behind him.  In the center of 
the clearing stood to his surprise, another Stargate.  

“What the hell?” 

He turned off his detector and stepped toward the DHD.  He 
looked the control panel over as he tapped his earpiece.

“Sheppard, I found something you should take a look at.”

“Can it wait? I’m kinda busy.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and prayed for patience.  “Sure, 
when you’re done playing Kirk, you can take a look at the 
extra Stargate over here.”

“Say again, McKay.”

“I found another Stargate,” the scientist said, glaring at 
the trees yards away from him, wishing they were Sheppard.

“Well, why didn’t you say so,” Sheppard said annoyance in 
his voice.  “We’ll be right there.”

“Take your time,” Rodney replied, biting back a retort.  He 
tapped his earpiece and got to work studying the DHD. 

Why are you here?  He thought as brought out his laptop and 
knelt in front of the DHD.  He removed the panel and hooked 
up the computer, then turned it on.  He’d rather just dial 
an address, but there were too many things that could go 
wrong. 

That’s all I need is a Stargate that leads nowhere. 

When the computer was ready to go Rodney ran a diagnostic 
on the DHD.  He watched the screen, barely noticing the 
breeze had picked up.  The smell of roses wafted to his 
nose and he thought of Elizabeth.  He closed his eyes, 
desire causing his pulse to race.  He tried to force the 
emotions away, not wanting to be distracted at a time like 
this.  

“So this is what you found to interrupt me with,” 
Sheppard’s voice caused Rodney to jump. 

“Damn it, Sheppard!” Rodney shouted as he stood and faced 
the duo.  “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Sheppard shrugged as he came over to stand near the DHD.  
“You’re really high strung, you should take a vacation.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes, wanting to hit the man.  “If I 
did that, the city would explode.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Sheppard said, not affected by 
the glare.  “Is it functional?”

Rodney grumbled and picked up his computer. It was finished 
with its scans and he read the results. 

“It’s functional,” he said.  “Where it goes is another 
story.”

“Shall we find out?” Sheppard asked, eagerness to explore 
in his eyes. 

“Sure,” Rodney said, folding his arms across his chest.  
“Let’s get ourselves stuck on some nameless planet while 
trying to dial back to this one.”

“You don’t think the gate on the other side will dial back 
to this one.”

“I’m not willing to chance it.”

“Let’s not go through the whole Bribe McKay dance,” 
Sheppard remarked.  “We’ll go back, tell Elizabeth what 
we’ve found, get our team and see where this gate takes 
us.”

“And what will happen if we can’t dial back?” Rodney asked, 
not wanting to leave Elizabeth behind.  Dread built up 
inside him at the thought of never seeing her again.  It 
made him ill. 

“You’re a genius, McKay.  You’ll fix it,” Sheppard said, 
slapping Rodney on the back.  

“Great, the one time someone admits that fact and we’re 
taking another possible one way trip.”

“Let’s head back and inform Elizabeth.”

Rodney sighed and downloaded any addresses from the DHD. He 
wasn’t about to blind dial the gate if there was the 
possibility of saved addresses.  He then unhooked his 
computer and hurried after Sheppard and Tatiana.

~*~

“You found another Stargate and you want to go through it?” 
Elizabeth asked, raising her eyebrows.  “Are you insane?”

“That’s what I think,” Rodney said from beside her.  

She looked over at him and held back a smile.  He leaned in 
his chair, glaring at John, his arms folded across his 
chest.  She bet he wanted to spew a dozen or so snide 
comments on John’s idea.  She couldn’t blame him, though 
she’d thought he’d want to be the first through the gate in 
case there was something there. 

Maybe even the answers to that device, she thought.  It 
would be worth it if so. 

But what if he doesn’t get a chance to come back? Another 
part of her remarked.  You’ll never see him again.  Can you 
risk that? 

Elizabeth knew the answer to that as sure as she knew 
herself.  She didn’t want to lose Rodney to another part of 
the galaxy.  Even if he was able to figure out a way back, 
there was no way to know for sure when he’d be back.  It 
could be months or years. 

Or never, the pessimistic side said.  I can’t let him go. 

“Elizabeth, we’ll send a MALP through first,” John said, 
bringing her out of her thoughts.  “If it’s safe, we’ll go 
follow.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about,” she said, looking at 
Rodney.  “What if you can’t get back?”

“I trust Rodney will find a way,” John answered.  

Elizabeth sighed, wishing Carson hadn’t let her out of the 
infirmary.  “Are there any addresses, Rodney?”

She almost heard Rodney sigh as he leaned his arms on the 
table. 

“There are seven addresses,” Rodney answered.  “That gate 
must not be used much.”

“Who is using it?” Teyla asked.  “The planet is not 
inhabited.”

“I doubt it’s being used by anyone.  The last address 
dialed was over ten years ago,” Rodney answered. 

“Sounds like a good place to start,” John said, standing.  
“I’ll get the MALP.”

Elizabeth watched as the others, except Rodney filed out of 
the briefing room.  She stood and Rodney followed her out 
of the room.

“I don’t like this,” Rodney said, following her into her 
office.  “I can’t get over the fact that we might be stuck 
on the other side.”

“I don’t like it either, but when we started this 
expedition, the facts were the same,” Elizabeth said as she 
stood on the other side of her desk.  

“But that was different,” he said, closing the gap between 
them.  “I wasn’t leaving anyone behind and I knew there was 
a possibility we could dial Earth again.”

Elizabeth was struck by his words.  He was right.  It was 
different.  They had each other and he was about to leave.  
She sat down as the knowledge weighed heavily on her.  

“There’s still a chance you can dial back,” she said, 
hopeful.

“Of course,” Rodney said, coming around the desk and 
kneeling in front of her.  “I’ll find a way if we can’t.  
I’m not going to leave you.”

Elizabeth looked into his blue eyes and felt the love 
flowing off him.  She smiled and touched his face.  She 
wanted to remember it, in case it took him awhile to come 
back.  He meant so much to her.

“Come back to me,” she whispered.  “I should have the 
results by the time you get back.”

Rodney smiled and kissed her.  It was a sweet gentle kiss.  
Tears burned her eyes and she didn’t bother to fight them.  
She tried to keep her mind on the fact he’d return, but a 
part of her insisted he wouldn’t.  

She wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss.  She 
poured all her emotions into the kiss, her tongue dueling 
with his.  She heard a moan as she ran her hands into his 
hair.  She wanted to pull him into her, keep him with her 
for always. 

“Whoa!”  John’s voice dumped cold water on their interlude. 

Elizabeth jumped away from Rodney as the scientist quickly 
got to his feet.  She stared at John, a smirk on the man’s 
face.  She wanted to hit him, but refrained as she stood. 

“You need something, John?” Elizabeth asked, clearing her 
throat. 

“If you think you need him more than I do, I’d be happy to 
leave him here,” John said, leaning against the doorframe.  
“Though I think I might need his big brain and it does come 
with his mouth.”

“Oh, rub it in, Sheppard,” Rodney snapped.  “You keep this 
up I might not even bother to fix whatever problem we run 
into.”

“I know you better than that, McKay,” John said.  “You’ll 
fix it just to prove you can.”

Rodney said nothing as he left the office.  Elizabeth 
watched him go, already feeling as if he had vanished from 
her life.  Noticing he hadn’t left, she turned her gaze to 
John.

“That was unexpected,” he said, stepping into her office. 

“What?” Elizabeth said, sitting back down. 

“You playing tonsil hockey with McKay. I always suspected 
something was going on between you two, but it still 
surprised me.”

“I’m surprised myself,” Elizabeth said, laughing.  

“He’ll be back, Elizabeth,” John said as if sensing her 
dread.  “I’ll give you my word.”

“I know,” she said, staring at her desk.  “I miss him 
already.”

“What does Carson say about your sudden stay in the 
infirmary?”

Elizabeth latched onto the change of subject like a 
lifeline.  She sighed and looked at John. 

“He won’t have the results until tomorrow,” she answered.  
“He does know that it isn’t the flu or an alien disease.  
That’s why he let me leave.”

“That’s good to hear.  Hopefully it was something you ate 
and nothing more.”

“Hopefully.”


~*~

Rodney stepped through the gate to a downpour.  He blinked 
rainwater out of his eyes then wondered about the sanity of 
this expedition. 

“Maybe we should have checked the weather forecast!” He 
shouted over the clap of thunder. 

“Yeah, what channel was that again?” John yelled back.  
“Let’s get going!”

Rodney shook his head then wiped the water from his face.  
He grumbled and led the way back toward the second 
Stargate.  

It seemed to be a longer trek as lightening lit the sky.  
If he hadn’t memorized the way there, he knew they would 
become lost thanks to this storm. 

I am going to catch a cold.  This is such a bad idea. 

Thoughts of lying in a warm bed drifted into his mind.  He 
wished he was there right now, next to Elizabeth.  He 
closed his eyes and imagined her body next to his.  It was 
a mistake as the next moment, he stumbled over a rock. 

“Whose insane idea was this?” Rodney shouted as he glared 
in the general direction of the rock.  “I can’t see a 
thing!”

“Quit complaining,” Sheppard said.  “We’re all in the same 
boat.”

“We’re going to need a boat if this rain keeps up,” Rodney 
growled. 

Another lightening flash lit the DHD and Rodney sighed in 
relief.  Maybe now they could get out of this rain.  

“Here!” Rodney shouted as he jogged toward the DHD.  He 
looked it over as the others gathered around him.  

“Where to first?” Sheppard asked over a clap of thunder.

Rodney glared at Sheppard through the rain, then turned his 
attention to the symbols.  He dialed the first address that 
came to mind from the seven. 

“Let’s hope this planet is drier,” he said as he watched 
the gate activate.

“We’re going to send the MALP through first,” Sheppard 
shouted and moved to position the machine in front of the 
gate.

The horizon formed and Sheppard sent the MALP through using 
a remote control.  
Rodney brought out his computer, turned it on and knelt by 
the DHD, trying to keep the water off the screen.  

“It’s through!” Rodney heard Sheppard.  He kept his eyes on 
the screen, waiting for the machine to send back pictures.  

A moment later, a scene showed up on the screen.  He wiped 
more water off and focused on the image before him.  His 
eyes narrowed and he growled at the sight before him.

“It’s an ice planet!” Rodney shouted as he stood and shoved 
the computer at Sheppard.  

Sheppard stared at the screen, shrugged and handed the 
computer back to him.  Rodney yanked it from his hands and 
glared at the image on the screen. 

“This is just great,” he grumbled as he stared at the gate. 

“Let me see if I can get it back,” Sheppard said as he 
worked the remote controls. 

Rodney rolled his eyes.  Turning his attention to the 
screen, he watched as the images slowly faded away. 

“First planet was a bust,” Sheppard remarked as the MALP 
came through the gate.  “Want to try again?”

“What do you think?” Rodney snapped, wanting to go back to 
Atlantis and Elizabeth.  Instead, he found himself dialing 
another address, scowling at Sheppard in the process.

A clap of thunder sounded as the gate whooshed to life once 
again.  He narrowed his eyes as he watched the MALP being 
sent through the gate.  He shook his head and turned his 
attention to the computer screen. 

“What’s it like?” Ronon asked, coming up beside him.

“Give it a minute,” Rodney said, not looking up. 

A moment later, images appeared on his screen and he 
sighed.  It wasn’t raining nor was it covered in ice.  
Instead, it was a jungle. 

“At least I won’t freeze to death,” he said, handing the 
computer to Sheppard. 
“Perfect,” Sheppard said, handing the computer back to him.  
“Let’s move out!”

“Watch it rain when we get there,” Rodney grumbled as he 
followed the others through the gate. 











































Chapter Ten




The moment Rodney stepped through the gate onto the planet 
he felt the heat and humidity.  It felt good, warming him 
from the cold rain.  He knew, though that in an hour or so, 
he would be wet once again. 

“This is a nice change,” Sheppard said, taking in their 
surroundings.

Rodney snorted. “Give it an hour and you’ll be begging to 
go back.”

“For now, I’m going to enjoy the heat,” Sheppard remarked. 

Rodney shook his head and brought out his detector.  He 
turned it on and energy readings lit up the screen.  He 
hoped most of them were animals.  He was in no mood to meet 
the natives of this planet.  He wanted to find what they 
needed to and go back.  He didn’t want to spend any more 
time here than was necessary. 

I’m barely keeping it together as it is, he thought as he 
headed toward the nearest energy reading.  It’s like my 
heart has been ripped out.  I need to get back to 
Elizabeth.

“Are you all right, McKay?” Sheppard’s voice broke into 
Rodney’s thoughts.  “You look a bit pale.”

“I’m fine,” Rodney said, knowing he wasn’t.  “Probably just 
need to eat something.”

“Okay,” Sheppard said, his tone of voice indicating he 
wasn’t buying it.  “Warn me before you pass out.”

“Right,” the scientist said, rolling his eyes.  He glanced 
at his detector and smiled slightly.  They were getting 
closer.  “This way.”

“Stay together, people!” Sheppard shouted.  “Keep an eye 
out for natives and hostile creatures.”

“Thanks for that!” Rodney yelled, glaring at Sheppard.  
“Now, I have a vision of being attacked by large monsters.”

“You’re welcome,” Sheppard smiled. 

Rodney bit back a nasty retort and picked up his pace.  He 
wanted to get to this location as fast as possible.  
Already, the heat was bearing down on him and they hadn’t 
been in this jungle for a full hour.  

I am going to take a long shower when I get back, he 
thought.  Maybe even ask Elizabeth to join me.

He smiled as an image of both of them in his shower came to 
his mind, warm water rushing over them.  He could almost 
feel her soft body against his.  

“McKay, pay attention!”  Sheppard’s warning snapped Rodney 
out of his thoughts. 

He stopped suddenly and saw he had almost collided with a 
tree.  He blinked several times, his heart rate going back 
to normal. 

“If you can’t keep your head on now, then you can go back 
to the gate.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes at Sheppard, but said nothing.  He 
went around the tree and continued on the path the beeping 
placed out before him.  The beeping increased, informing 
him they were close.  He jogged toward the source, not 
hearing Sheppard’s shout of warning.  

He slapped away a large leaf, jumped over a monstrous root 
protruding out of the ground and came to stop at the edge 
of a clearing.  He took a deep breath and moved a tree 
branch out of his line of sight.  In the center of the 
clearing were the remains of a large building, only two 
walls continued to stand.  The other two had crumbled, 
leaving the contents inside to the elements and prying 
eyes. 

Rodney took a step into the clearing when a bird’s cry 
caused him to jump.  He shook himself and looked at his 
detector.  He heard Sheppard come up behind him and he 
pointed toward the clearing.

“Whatever it is, it’s in that building,” he said.

“Then let’s go take a look,” Sheppard replied and stepped 
out into the clearing.

Rodney rolled his eyes, not bothering to protest the 
dangers of going out there.  He grumbled as he followed 
Sheppard. 

“This better be worth it,” he mumbled as he tucked the 
gadget back into its pocket. 

The calls of animals sounded around them as they neared the 
ruins of the building.  As they drew closer, Rodney was 
able to see the extent of the damage.  He couldn’t decide 
if it was a Wraith attack or centuries of abandonment that 
had caused it.  Vines had grown over the remaining walls 
and vegetation of all kinds had protruded through the 
floors. 

“Okay, where is this thing?” Sheppard asked as he stared at 
their surroundings.

Rodney brought out his detector again, turned it on and 
walked to the center of the ruins.  He took a moment to 
take in the ruins.  The building was probably beautiful in 
its day.  He was able to determine the building was had 
four rooms, the largest of which he stood in. 

The detector beeped rapidly and Rodney moved it around, 
trying to locate the source.  He smiled when he got a lock.

“Over here!” He shouted as he hurried into another room.  

The detector led him over to a corner of the room.  He 
knelt down and rummaged through the vegetation.  He removed 
some of the vines and uncovered a cylinder.  He turned the 
device over in his hands, barely hearing Sheppard and the 
others come up behind him.  The cylinder was black and 
light weight.  He saw the device had lights, but they 
weren’t on. 

“What have you found?” Teyla asked.

Rodney stood, turning toward the others, the device in his 
hands.  “This.”

“Think its Ancient?” Sheppard asked.

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “It could be, but I still need to 
get it to the lab.”

He stepped around Sheppard and made his way out of the 
building.  He wanted to get back to Elizabeth as soon as 
possible.  Staying away from her this long was tearing him 
up inside.  He was nauseous and shaky and he doubted it was 
from the lack of food.  

“Wait up, McKay!” Sheppard shouted, running up behind him.  
“What’s the hurry?”

“I need to get back to the lab and get to work on this,” he 
answered, not bothering to stop.

I need to get back to Elizabeth.

He stepped into the jungle, picking up his pace.  He kept 
himself from breaking into a run, knowing the jungle was 
dangerous with roots and branches waiting to trip him. 

“Slow down, McKay!” Ronon shouted behind him. 

Rodney couldn’t slow down.  Not when the gate was in his 
sights.  He burst through the jungle, his spirits soaring 
when he saw the way home. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder, bringing him to a quick 
halt.  He kept himself from stumbling by spinning around to 
face who stopped him.

“What?” Rodney snapped at Sheppard.

“You need to slow down,” Sheppard said through gritted 
teeth.  “This is no place to go rushing through blindly.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes.  “I’m not rushing blindly through 
anything.  We’re almost there, Sheppard.  Let’s not waste 
another minute.”

Sheppard looked at him strangely.  “What’s with you?  
You’re hurrying through this mission as if you have 
something better to do and can’t wait to get to it.  You’re 
also really pale.”

“Thanks for the concern,” Rodney snapped, turning around 
and heading back toward the gate.  “I’m heading back.  
You’re welcome to join me!”

“McKay!”  Sheppard called, but Rodney ignored him. 

He reached the DHD before any of them, placed the device in 
one of his many pockets, and dialed the gate.

“Hang on!” Sheppard shouted, pulling him away from the DHD.  
“We don’t know if this gate can dial Atlantis.  We need to 
dial the planet we just came from.”

Rodney sneered and shoved Sheppard away from him.  “I know 
that! I’m not an idiot.”

He stepped toward the DHD again and dialed the planet.  He 
looked up as the gate activated.  A powerful wave of 
dizziness washed over him.  Everything became blurry.  He 
felt himself falling a long distance then darkness. 

~*~

Elizabeth sat at Rodney’s bedside.  She ran her fingers 
through his hair, glad that he wasn’t worse for wear.  
Carson had told her Rodney had passed out from lack of 
eating.  If she had known he hadn’t eaten in awhile, she 
wouldn’t have let him leave without a meal first.  

She sighed and sat back in her chair.  She planned to have 
a discussion with him about not taking care of himself.  

A moan came from him and she sat up, moving closer to the 
bed.  She placed her hand on his shoulder as he slowly 
opened his eyes.  She smiled as his blue eyes focused on 
her. 

“Welcome back,” Elizabeth whispered, squeezing his 
shoulder.  “We were worried about you.”

“Elizabeth,” Rodney sighed as he slowly sat up.  “Hi.”

“Next time, get something to eat,” Elizabeth said, smiling.  
“I don’t want to see you in here again.”

Rodney ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat as 
he looked away.  She knew she had him and patted his 
shoulder. 

“So did you find anything?”

“A cylinder,” he answered, turning his eyes to her.  Her 
heart skipped a beat and she caught her breath.  “I found 
it among the ruins of a building.”

“And you think it might be Ancient?” Elizabeth sat back in 
her chair. 

“Maybe,” Rodney sighed, looking away.  “Has Zelenka found 
anything else about that device?”

Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest, fighting back 
the urge to roll her eyes.  She knew he wanted to solve 
their problem more than anything, but she didn’t want it to 
be at the cost of his health.  

“No,” she stood giving him her best “don’t argue with me” 
look.  “I’m going to make sure you eat something.  I’ll be 
right back, Rodney.”

He blinked at her, but all she did was smile.  She squeezed 
his hand as she gave him a kiss.  

“See you soon.”

Elizabeth felt his eyes on her as she left the infirmary.  
It sent a warm thrill through her and she couldn’t wait for 
him to be released.  She wanted to give him a night he 
wouldn’t forget.  

I’m going to make sure he gets his strength back, first. 

She entered the mess hall and gathered two trays, placing 
food onto the plates.

“You’re awfully hungry.”

Elizabeth looked up as John came to stand beside her.  She 
placed some fruit on Rodney’s plate and a chocolate pie on 
hers before facing John.

“Actually, I’m bringing some food to Rodney,” she answered.  
“I thought I’d join him, since I haven’t had anything to 
eat either.”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it, Elizabeth,” John answered, 
staring at the food as if he wanted a bite.  “How is he, by 
the way?”

“He just woke up,” she headed toward the doors.  “Carson 
should release him soon, since he’s fine.  He just hadn’t 
had anything to eat all day.”

“That should teach him not to eat before a mission.”

Elizabeth shook her head, trying hard not to smile.  
“That’s what I told him.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then,” John said as Elizabeth 
stepped into the transporter.  “I’ll see both of you 
later.”

“You don’t want to see him now?”

“Tatiana and I have a picnic to finish,” John said, 
smiling.  She swore he blushed as well.  

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Elizabeth said as she pressed 
the location of the infirmary.  The doors closed and a 
second later she headed down the hall.  Thoughts of what 
she would do to Rodney later formed in her head.  Her face 
burned as she stepped into the infirmary.

“I don’t need to tell you, you need to eat,” Carson said as 
Elizabeth joined them.  “I’m sure you’ve heard enough of it 
by now.”

“Thanks for that,” Rodney said, turning his attention to 
her.  “I’ve been nagged already.”

Elizabeth smiled, her face on fire.  “I thought we’d have 
lunch together.”

“Thanks,” Rodney sat up straighter, his smile brightening 
the already bright room.  “Have a seat.”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Carson said.  “I need to check 
on those results.”

Elizabeth neared the bed and placed a plate on Rodney’s 
lap.  She sat in her chair and let herself take in his 
nearness.  Not waiting for an invitation, he began to dig 
into the food.  She smiled and shook her head as she picked 
up her sandwich. 

“Feeling better?” 

Rodney stopped and looked at her as if he had been caught 
doing something he shouldn’t.  

“I’m fine,” he said, clearing his throat.  “How are you?”

Elizabeth smiled, liking his awkwardness.  She found it 
adorable in him. 

“I’m doing well, Rodney.”

“That’s good to hear.  No more throwing up?”

Elizabeth laughed.  “You want to ruin lunch?  

“You’re right,” Rodney looked at his sandwich.  “Not good 
meal conversation.”

“I have the results for you Elizabeth,” Carson said, 
standing at the foot of Rodney’s bed.  “You aren’t ill and 
it wasn’t food poisoning.”

“Then what was it?” Elizabeth asked. 

“You’re pregnant.”















Chapter Eleven




“I’m what?”  Elizabeth stated in surprise. 

Carson cleared his throat, glancing at Rodney as if he 
wanted the scientist’s help.  Rodney was too stunned 
himself to offer any kind of reply. 

“You’re pregnant,” Carson repeated.  “About two weeks.”

Rodney closed his eyes and held back a groan.  There was no 
mistaking it.  It was his and he probably placed Elizabeth 
in a precarious position.  She was the leader of this 
expedition and if it got out that she was pregnant by one 
of her subordinates, her superiors will probably ask for 
her resignation. 

“I’m sorry,” Rodney said, turning his gaze to her.  “I 
should have been more careful.”

“We should have been more careful,” Elizabeth said.  “We 
got caught up in the moment.”

“Well, I guess that answers that question,” Carson said.

Rodney glared at the doctor, but Carson only shrugged.  He 
sighed and rested against the pillows, staring up at the 
ceiling.  He blinked as he realized the ceiling seriously 
needed a paint job. 

“Elizabeth, a word?” Carson asked.

“What do you need to tell her in private that you haven’t 
already said?” Rodney asked, narrowing his eyes.

“It’s not about her pregnancy, Rodney.  And you can go.”

Rodney grumbled and climbed out of bed, grabbing his 
clothes from the foot of the bed.  He yanked on his pants, 
watching as Carson led Elizabeth to the other side of the 
infirmary.  He shook his head and pulled on his shirt, 
picking up his jacket on the way out.  

She’s pregnant, Rodney headed down the hallway, allowing 
his feet to lead him.  I can’t believe she’s pregnant.  By 
me!

He nearly stumbled over his feet when the truth suddenly 
hit him.  He stopped as dizziness washed over him.  He 
needed to sit down, but the floor wasn’t the best place.  
He leaned against a pillar and closed his eyes.  He was 
going to be a father. 

Oh my God, Rodney ran a hand over his face.  I don’t know 
the first thing about raising a kid. 

Nausea rose, but he fought it back down.  He needed to 
think, a nice quiet place to think.  He ignored greetings 
and Sheppard’s voice in his ear as he entered the 
transporter and hit his destination.  

“There you are,” Sheppard said as the transporter doors 
opened.  “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

Rodney pushed passed Sheppard, wanting to kick the man. 

“Whatever it is, it can wait,” he said as he hurried down 
the passageway.  “I need to be alone.”

“This can’t wait,” Sheppard said, following after him.  “We 
need to take the cylinder back.”

Rodney stopped and stared at Sheppard, surprised.  Zelenka 
already learned what it was?  He folded his arms across his 
chest, cocking his head to the side.

“What is it?”

“It contains a virus.  Zelenka was able to find it in the 
database and luckily didn’t open the thing.  It’s a nasty 
little bug the Ancients were experimenting on to try to 
find a cure.”

“And they didn’t find one. Great,” Rodney turned and 
continued walking toward his quarters.

“We need to take it back,” Sheppard repeated.

“Then send it back.  What do you need me for?”

“Thought you might want to study those ruins,” Sheppard 
jogged in front of him, stopping Rodney.

“I have more pressing matters at hand, Sheppard.  If you 
don’t mind?”

“What could be more important than Ancient ruins?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and debated on telling Sheppard.  He 
shook his head, knowing Elizabeth would want to be the one 
to tell him.  He grumbled and moved around Sheppard.

“Talk to Elizabeth.  I need to think.”

Rodney finally entered his room and breathed a sigh of 
relief.  He tossed his jacket on the floor and dove onto 
the bed.  He turned over onto his back and stared at the 
ceiling. 

Maybe I can talk to Jeannie? The thought pushed itself to 
the surface, surprising him.  He mulled it over in his 
mind.  It sounded like a good idea and she was the only 
person he knew who had a kid.  

Course, he had to talk to Elizabeth first.  They needed to 
do this together.  He needed to be by her side when 
everyone knew about the pregnancy and they will.  It 
couldn’t be hidden for long.  

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.  The door 
slid open a moment later as Rodney sat up.  Elizabeth 
stepped into his room, surprising him. 

“Elizabeth,” he said as he climbed off the bed.  “What 
brings you here?”

Guess that talk will be now.

Elizabeth stepped closer to him and desire sparked inside 
him.  His eyes roamed down her body, his mouth watering.  
It surprised him he would react so quickly to her nearness.  
He desired her, but it unnerved him that he wanted her this 
much.  It hurt to be away from her and it burned to be near 
her. 

“Rodney,” she said, bringing his attention to her.  

His heart raced as he looked into her green eyes.  He 
swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Yes?” Rodney’s throat was suddenly parched.

“Have you ever thought about having a child?”

Rodney sat heavily on his bed.  “Yes, but I thought I might 
never get the chance.  I’m not the best when it comes to 
relationships.”

Elizabeth sat beside him.  He closed his eyes, taking in 
her nearness.  He smelled her perfume and he groaned 
softly.  Her hand touched his thigh and a jolt of 
electricity went through him.  His heart skipped a beat as 
he looked at her. 

“You’re doing fine with this one so far, Rodney,” she said 
as her hand moved up his thigh.  “And I think you’ll make a 
great father.”

Rodney cleared his throat, looking away to get himself 
under control.  This was serious and he didn’t need to jump 
her right now.  He took a deep breath before turning his 
attention back to her. 

“What makes you say that?”

Elizabeth smiled and the room seemed to brighten.  “You’re 
a caring person, whether you want people to believe it or 
not.  I’ve seen that part of you show itself on more than 
one occasion.”

“I don’t know the first thing about raising a kid.”

“Neither do I, but we’ll learn together.”

Rodney offered her a slight smile, grateful he wasn’t alone 
in this.  

He ran a hand through her hair, bringing her closer to him.  
He stared into her green eyes as he gently kissed her.  She 
moaned sending a blazing fire straight to his groin.  He 
closed his eyes as he deepened the kiss. 

She opened her mouth, letting his tongue dance with hers.  
He moaned as she pushed him back onto the bed.  She took 
control as she kissed along his jawline, sending shivers 
through his body.

“Elizabeth,” Rodney moaned as his hands roamed down her 
back.  

Elizabeth laughed softly as her lips moved over his throat.  
He sighed, titling his head back to allow her better 
access.  Her hands trailed down his sides then moved under 
his shirt.  He gave himself over to her caresses, letting a 
wave of sensations and emotions wash over him.  

“McKay, are you ready to go?” Sheppard’s voice splashed 
cold water over his arousal.

“Damn it!” Rodney growled, wishing he had taken his 
earpiece off.  He sat up in bed as Elizabeth crawled off 
him.  She looked at him with worry, but he shook his head, 
pressing his earpiece.  “No.”

“Then get ready, McKay, we’re leaving in five minutes.  
Sheppard out.”

Rodney glared at the floor, suddenly wanting to punch 
something.  

“John?” Elizabeth said, touching his shoulder.

“He wants me to join him to return the cylinder to where we 
found it.  He’s using my interest in the ruins to get me to 
go.”

He felt more than saw Elizabeth smile.  She rubbed his 
back, soothing him.  He glanced at her, her green eyes 
sparkling.

“I know you, Rodney,” she said, smiling.  “You can’t pass 
up something like that.  Go.  I’ll be here when you 
return.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to focus with a thought like 
that in my head,” he said then kissed her passionately. 

~*~

Rodney stepped through the gate and ended up on the planet 
they had found the cylinder.  The Black Tube of Death was 
in a backpack he had slung over his shoulder.  He didn’t 
like having it this close to his body, but as long as it 
wasn’t opened, he was safe.  He made it a mantra as he 
hiked back toward the ruins.  

Sheppard trailed beside him, keeping his eye out for 
danger.  He wanted to laugh at the thought of someone 
carrying a spear being more of a threat at the moment than 
the virus on his back. 

The jungle seemed a lot further than the last time they 
were here.  He knew it was in his head, but the constant 
knowledge that a deadly virus was on his back made it that 
much longer. 

Before long, rain poured down upon them, making a miserable 
situation even worse.  Rodney rolled his eyes as he pulled 
his jacket tighter around him. 

“This is just wonderful,” he growled as he picked up his 
pace.  “Remind me to bring an umbrella next time.”

“Good idea,” Sheppard said. 

They entered the jungle and the downpour let up a fraction.  
Rodney grumbled as he trudged through the vegetation once 
again.  The urge to hurry ate at him as did the need to be 
with Elizabeth.  
  
He jogged through the jungle, careful to avoid protruding 
roots and low hanging branches. He barely heard Sheppard 
yelling at him to slow down.  A sense of déjà vu went 
through him, but he ignored it.  He wanted to get this over 
with and head back to Atlantis and Elizabeth. 

“McKay, stop!” Sheppard shouted in his ear.  “I can’t see 
you.”

Rodney stopped and looked behind him.  Sheppard wasn’t 
behind him.  Anxiety rushed through him as he realized he 
was in the middle of the jungle, alone. 

“Where are you?” Rodney asked, searching for Sheppard 
through the vegetation.

“Are you standing still?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and brought out his detector.  He 
turned it on and the screen showed him two life signs; his 
and Sheppard’s.  He sighed in relief as Sheppard’s dot 
moved toward him.

“Stay in the direction you’re heading,” he said.  “I’m 
right in front of you.”

“Good.  I’d hate to search for you forever in this jungle.”

“It wouldn’t have been forever,” Rodney snapped.  “We’re 
almost to the ruins.”

“That’s good to hear,” Sheppard said as he came through the 
vegetation. 

“There you are,” Rodney dead panned.  He shook his head as 
he put the detector back in its pocket.

“I’ll take the lead,” Sheppard said as he moved in front of 
the scientist.  “Try to keep up.”

“You’re the one that got lost in the jungle back there,” he 
griped as he followed Sheppard.  “I happen to know where 
I’m going.”

“Shut up, McKay.”

Rodney flung his hands up, staring up at the sky.  I should 
have stayed on Atlantis.

Thoughts of Elizabeth poured through his mind.  A growing 
ache formed deep inside.  He began to wonder if what he 
went through before didn’t have anything to do with not 
eating.  

“Do I look pale?” Rodney asked suddenly.

“What?” Sheppard asked, turning to look at him.

“Do I look pale?”

Sheppard raised an eyebrow as he stepped closer to Rodney.  

“Come to think of it, you do,” Sheppard answered.  “Did you 
eat?”

Rodney rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest.  
“Yes.  This happened last time.”

“No kidding?”

“All I want to do is get back to Elizabeth.  I can’t get 
her out of my mind.  All I see is her.”

“You have got it bad,” Sheppard said, taking another step 
toward him.  

“I think it’s more than that,” Rodney said, fighting a wave 
of dizziness.  “It’s like I can’t be away from her for long 
periods of time.  Even being here is making me ill.”

“I’d say.  Are you going to be all right?  Can you do 
this?”

Rodney glared at Sheppard, pulling off the backpack.  “Lead 
the way.”

“If you pass out on me again…”

“Lead the way!”

Sheppard blinked, but said nothing.  He turned and headed 
deeper into the jungle, Rodney following. 

Nausea built up inside him, but he fought it down.  He 
swallowed the lump in his throat.  He wished they were 
already there, so he could get rid of this thing.  What was 
taking so long?

He stumbled over a fallen tree branch and collided with a 
tree.  He found himself on his hands and knees, staring at 
bark. 

“Are you all right?” Sheppard asked, helping him to his 
feet.

“No,” Rodney snarled, yanking his arm from the man’s grasp.  
“Let’s get going.”

“If you can’t…”

Rodney glared at Sheppard, pointing in the direction they 
needed to go.  “Move it.”
“Okay, but you’re going to see Carson when we get back.”

“I’m sure he’d love that.”

“Then you’re going to see Kate,” Sheppard added.

“Perfect,” Rodney grumbled, trying to keep focused on 
putting on foot in front of the other.  His heart raced and 
he didn’t know if it was because of his situation or 
exertion.  He hoped it was from exercise, the other 
terrified him.  

“We’re here,” Sheppard announced what seemed like thirty 
minutes later. 

“About time,” Rodney griped as he stumbled into the 
clearing.  Sheppard caught him before he fell to the 
ground.  He growled his gratitude then led the way into the 
ruins.  He really wanted just to drop the thing and head 
back, but he didn’t want anyone else to find this thing and 
open it.  Destroying it wouldn’t be good either, for the 
virus might escape, even a tiny bit might be a disaster. 

He fell to his knees in the corner of the building.  There 
was no protection from the rain here.  It beat down upon 
him like a shower head.  He moved the soaked vegetation 
aside.  He opened the backpack and brought out the 
cylinder, placing it on the ground.  He covered the device 
and used the wall to help him to his feet.

“Now can we go?” Rodney asked as he stood on shaky legs. 

“Now we can go,” Sheppard answered, giving him a worried 
expression.  

“If you ask me if I’m all right, I’m going to shoot you,” 
Rodney snapped as he slowly made his way back into the 
jungle. 

“You look worse than you did when we were here last,” 
Sheppard remarked. 

“Thanks for that.”

The walk back to the Gate seemed longer than before.   
Lightening flashed across the sky. 

“I am going to catch a cold,” Rodney said.  “If I haven’t 
already.”

“Quit your griping, McKay,” Sheppard shoved a large leaf 
out of his way, letting it slap in Rodney’s face. 

“I have every right to gripe,” Rodney shouted, ripping the 
leaf away.  “I’m cold, wet and tired…”

“And want to get back to Elizabeth.  I get it, Rodney.  You 
don’t have to remind me.”

Rodney blinked at Sheppard’s back, but said nothing.  It 
wouldn’t do any good.  The only thing keeping him going at 
the moment was the fact they were headed back toward the 
gate and home.  He never wanted to be away from Elizabeth 
like this again.  He didn’t want to think about what would 
happen if it had been a longer trip.  

“There’s the Gate!” Sheppard announced and Rodney felt his 
spirits soar.  They were almost there.

“Finally!” Rodney shouted and jogged ahead of Sheppard.  He 
slipped on some mud, but caught his balance and raced for 
the DHD.  He didn’t waste time and quickly dialed the 
address.  He watched as the gate activated, every nerve 
posed to jump through the horizon.

“Chomping at the bit, are we?” Sheppard asked as he came to 
stand beside him. 

Thunder boomed overhead and Rodney wanted off this gloomy 
planet as soon as possible.  

“It couldn’t be fast enough,” he said as the horizon 
finally appeared.  “Let’s go.”

Rodney fought a wave of dizziness as he made his way to the 
gate.  He took a deep breath to steady the nausea and 
stepped through. 








Chapter Twelve



Elizabeth paced her office, her hands on her hips.  She 
continued to glance toward the gate, wondering when Rodney 
and John would return.  It shouldn’t take them long, they 
were only gone an hour.  It felt like hours had gone by 
when she had last seen Rodney.  It was as if a part of her 
had been ripped away.  It hurt as well and the ache grew 
with each passing minute. 

This can’t go on, she thought as she leaned on her desk.  
We can’t keep going like this.  We need to find out what is 
going on and put a stop to it. 

They were close to finding out what the card device was 
used for.  She had a feeling it held the answers.  

“Off world activation!”

Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat.  She hurried into the 
control room, her nerves on edge. 

“It’s Sheppard’s IDC.”

“Let them in,” she said and ran down the steps. 

John and Rodney stepped through the gate and her heart 
raced at the sight of Rodney.  She ran toward him, but 
stopped when she saw how pale he was.

“Rodney…”

Before she was able to get the question out, he fell to the 
ground.  

“Carson, we have a medical emergency!” Elizabeth shouted 
into her earpiece as she knelt beside Rodney.

“Can you hear me?” She asked as she gently turned Rodney 
onto his back.  Her heart sank as she took in his pale 
face.  She knew it had nothing to do with not eating this 
time.  She looked up at John, who knelt beside her.

“What happened out there?” Elizabeth asked.
“I don’t know,” he answered.  “He wanted to get back here 
as fast as possible.  He said being away from you like that 
made him ill.  He couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Elizabeth looked at Rodney, stroking his hair.  What ever 
had affected her had affected him as well, only worse.  She 
closed her eyes fighting back the tears stinging her eyes.  

“Oh, not again,” Carson’s voice brought her out of her 
thoughts.  She looked up at him as he shook his head.  She 
cleared her throat, standing. 

“It’s not lack of food this time,” she said.  

“Oh really?” Carson said as he helped place Rodney on the 
stretcher.  “Looks like the same symptoms.”

“He ate before he left,” Sheppard said as they followed 
Carson and his team to the infirmary.  

“I know,” Carson pushed the stretcher through the 
corridors.  “I saw him eat with Elizabeth.”

“I want to know what’s causing this,” Elizabeth said.  
“It’s happened twice and I don’t think he’ll be able to 
handle a third time.”

“I doubt it’s the planet,” Sheppard said.  “I think it has 
something to do with being away from you.”

Elizabeth stared at him, but he knew it was true.  She had 
felt it as well.  Ever since they’d found the device 
neither of them was able to stay away from the other for 
long.  She sighed and stepped into the infirmary. 

“Find out if Zelenka learned anything new about the 
device,” she said to John.  “I want to know what that thing 
was for and if we can’t turn it off.”

“I don’t think he’s learned anything new.  You would have 
been the first person to know.”

Elizabeth glared at him.  “Just do it, John.  If this thing 
can kill us, I want to know before it does.”

John nodded and headed out of the room.  Elizabeth turned 
her attention back to Carson as he worked on Rodney.  She 
ran a hand through her hair, knowing all she could do now 
was wait.  She went to the other side of the room and sat 
in a chair.  She leaned back against the wall and closed 
her eyes.  

~*~

“Elizabeth, wake up,” a voice broke through her dreams.  
She slowly opened her eyes to see Carson hovering above 
her.  Sheepish, she sat up straighter in the chair, looking 
around at her surroundings.  She cleared her throat as she 
looked at Carson.

“How is he?”

“He’s doing much better,” Carson said.  “He wants to talk 
to you.”

Elizabeth nodded and got to her feet.  She ran a hand 
through her hair as she made her way to Rodney.  She smiled 
when she saw him sitting up in bed, staring at his laptop.  
Zelenka must have brought it earlier. 

“How are you doing?” Elizabeth asked, standing beside his 
bed.

“Much better,” he answered as he placed the computer on his 
lap.  

He looked at her and her heart stopped beating only to 
start again at a more rapid pace.  She smiled at him, 
taking his hand in hers.  She squeezed it, grateful that he 
was all right.  She didn’t want to know what she’d do if 
something happened to him.  

“You had me worried,” she said, running her fingers through 
his hair.  “It’s becoming a habit.”

“I’ll try to stop doing that,” he smiled and warmth flowed 
through her. 

“What are you working on?” Elizabeth asked, trying to get 
her mind on something other than her raging hormones.

“The card device,” he answered, turning the computer so she 
could see it.  “There’s a lot to go through here, but I’m 
making progress.  I found something else interesting about 
it.  The blue lights were not only used to see what the 
device chose, but gathered data for the device.”

“What kind of data?” Elizabeth asked, catching his 
excitement.

“Vitals mostly,” he answered as he pressed some keys.  
“Wait a minute...”

“What?” 

Rodney was silent for a moment, causing anxiety to build 
within her.  What had he found that made him suddenly 
focused on the laptop?  She watched as his eyes scanned the 
screen and his fingers flew across the keys.

“This is new,” he said, looking up at her.  “Very new.”

He handed her the laptop and pointed to the new data.  She 
read over it, her heart racing.  She sat heavily in the 
chair as she handed the computer back to him. 

“It’s recording our vitals,” Rodney said.  “We’re test 
subjects.”

“For what?” Elizabeth asked.

“Haven’t found that, yet,” fingers flew across the keyboard 
as he spoke.  “They recorded tons of information for their 
little experiment.  I activated when I touched it and it 
chose us.”

“Can it kill us?”

Rodney stared at her in surprise.  He blinked several 
times.  It was adorable, but she needed the truth. 

“Rodney?”

“Yes,” he answered, giving her a look that froze her.  “If 
we are separated for more than twenty-four hours we will 
die.  The symptoms of prolonged separation is anxiety, 
nausea, dizziness, hallucinations and increased heart rate 
due to panic.”

“We’ve had those,” Elizabeth whispered.  

“When I was on that planet both times,” he said, sinking 
further into the bed.  “Sheppard said I was pale.  It must 
be one of the symptoms, but it’s not listed.”

“We can’t be separated like that again, Rodney.  It’s too 
dangerous.”

“Guess you’re moving in,” Rodney said, smiling.  

Elizabeth smiled, but shook her head.  “I think we’re fine 
if it’s not long distances.”

“There goes that idea.”

“We’re not there, yet,” she said, placing a hand on his 
arm.  She had no idea he wanted her to move in with him.  
It was sweet, but she wasn’t ready just yet.  She was still 
getting used to being pregnant.  She doubted he wanted her 
waking him up at all hours, making a bee line for the 
bathroom.  

Course, he hardly sleeps as it is, she thought. 

“Right,” Rodney said, focusing on the screen.  “I’ll figure 
out what this thing was for and see if we can’t put a stop 
to it.”

“Great idea,” she said, squeezing his arm.  “I’m sure 
Carson is ready to have you vacate that bed anyway.”

“I’m ready to go even if he doesn’t.”

Elizabeth smiled and he returned it without looking at her.  
She wanted to kiss him, to hold him in her arms until the 
end of time.  She didn’t want to be without him.  It scared 
her to think this device had the ability to kill them.  She 
didn’t want to lose him.  

Stop thinking that!  She scolded herself as she left the 
infirmary.  He’s not going to die. 

The fact he might wouldn’t leave her mind.  She stood in 
the middle of the hallway, the image of him falling to the 
floor just over an hour ago rooting her to the spot.  Tears 
pricked her eyes and she had a hard time stopping them. 

“Elizabeth?” Teyla’s voice brought her thoughts to a 
grateful stop. 

“Teyla,” she said, taking a deep breath to calm herself.  
“What can I do for you?”

“Are you all right?”

Elizabeth laughed without humor.  “I just found out more 
about the device Rodney and I found.”

“I take it that it is not good.”

“No,” Elizabeth said as she headed toward her office.  
“Rodney learned that if we are separated for more than a 
day, we could die.”

“Why would the Ancestors do such a thing?”

“I don’t think it was intentional,” she said as she entered 
the transporter.  “I believe it is a side effect to what 
they were trying to do.”

“And you haven’t learned what they were experimenting on.” 

“Only that they used four groups of two and it took them 
five months. They were successful, what ever it was.”

“Rodney will find it,” Teyla said as the doors opened for 
them.   

“He’s stubborn that way,” Elizabeth smiled as they walked 
down the hallway.  “He won’t stop until he finds what he’s 
looking for.”

~*~

Rodney felt eyes upon him.  He tried to ignore them, for he 
felt he was close to discovering what this device was for.  
He didn’t want to stop to deal with some small trivial 
thing.  This was much more important, for lives hung in the 
balance.  His in particular.  

“Rodney,” Carson’s voice sounded at the foot of his bed.  
“Rodney, it’s time to go.  You’ve been in that bed for the 
past two hours.  You’re fine.  Leave.”

“Not right now, Carson,” he said, not taking his eyes off 
the screen.  “I’m on to something.”

“You’ve been onto something ever since Radek gave you that 
lap top.  Take it somewhere else, please.  I might need 
that bed.”

“If I take it somewhere else, I might be interrupted for 
some small infraction in the lab.  I can’t stop.”

He swore he heard Carson’s eyes roll, but he didn’t bother 
to check.  He scrolled through the notes and information 
about the device, searching for something that would give 
him his Eureka moment. 

“Rodney,” Carson said in a voice that broke no argument. 

Rodney glared at the doctor.  “What I’m trying to do here, 
Carson, is save Elizabeth and I.  This thing can kill us 
and I need to find a way to stop it.”

“That’s all well and good, Rodney, but you have to do it 
somewhere else.”

“Shut up,” Rodney said as he turned his attention to the 
screen.  

“Rodney, this is not a hotel…”

“I said be quiet!” Rodney snapped as the computer showed 
him what he had been searching for.  “I think I found it.”

“Good for you.  Now get out.”

Rodney ignored him as his heart sank.  “Oh, no.”

“What?” Carson asked, coming to stand beside him.  “What is 
it?”

Rodney looked at him, despair setting in.  “They were 
experimenting on relationships.  This device is in a sense 
a love potion.”

“Oh, that’s not good.”

“No, it’s not,” Rodney’s voice broke as realization set in.  
“Elizabeth’s feelings might not be real.”
“What about yours?” Carson asked, staring at him.

Rodney closed his eyes, wanting the bed to swallow him.  
“Mine are real.  I know they are, because I loved her 
before we found that device.”

“That’s why you felt the effects worse than she did.”

He opened his eyes, knowing it was true.  The device only 
increased his desire for Elizabeth.  Obviously, it only 
caused desire in her. 

“This can’t be happening,” he said as he shut down his 
computer.  He didn’t want to look at the thing again or 
that device.  

“You still need to stop it,” Carson reminded him.  “If 
you’re apart like you were today for longer than a day…”

“Yes, I know, Carson!  I’m dead,” Rodney snapped, glaring 
at him.  

“What do you think will happen to her?”

“Probably nothing, since her feelings aren’t real.”

“What if they are?”

Rodney stared at him, caught off guard by the question.  
How could they be?  She had never shown any interest in him 
until the device infected them.  He didn’t know how to find 
out if she really loved him.  Asking her wasn’t the answer. 

“I wish I knew,” he whispered as he closed the computer.  
“I wish there was a way to know.”













Chapter Thirteen




Rodney left the infirmary feeling worse than when he went 
in. 

She never really had feelings for me, he stepped into the 
transporter and hit the section where the lab was located.  
He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes against the 
rush of emotions flooding him. 

The doors opened and Sheppard stood before him.  

Oh, great, he pushed past the man and continued down the 
hallway. 

“Nice to see you, too, Rodney,” Sheppard said, following 
him.  “I take it you’re better.”

“No,” Rodney snapped.  

“What happened?”

“Everything happened,” he growled as he stepped into the 
lab.  “Go away.  I’m busy.”

“I can see that.” 

Sheppard obviously didn’t get the hint.  It was time to get 
nasty.

“Look, Colonel,” Rodney snarled.  “I have better things to 
do than cater to your whims.  I’m sorry, but I can’t play 
soldier right now.  Find Teyla or Ronon.  I’m sure they’d 
love to beat you to a pulp.”

“What the hell has gotten into you, McKay?”

Rodney glared at the man, dropping his laptop on the table.  
He stood in front of Sheppard, folding his arms across his 
chest. 

“You want to know, Sheppard?” Rodney asked.

“Yes,” Sheppard answered, taking a step back.  

Rodney picked up the card device.  “I just found out that 
this little device was used like Love Potion Number Nine!  
Elizabeth only has feelings for me because of this thing.”

He tossed the card onto the table hard enough to break it.  
He wished he had, but it was the answer to finding out how 
to bring to an end what it had done. 

“I’m sure her feelings are real, Rodney,” Sheppard tried to 
soothe.  “Maybe it just brought them to the surface.”

He glowered at the man, wanting to hit him for being 
reasonable.  He opened his laptop, turning it on. 

“I have to reverse it,” he said as the computer booted.  
“It can kill us if we’re separated for longer than a day.”

“That’s why you passed out twice,” Sheppard said, his voice 
full of concern.  “You can’t leave Atlantis.”

“I can’t go far,” Rodney corrected.  “A nearby planet is 
fine, but I can’t go as far as that jungle again.  Not 
until I undo this.”

“Well, then I’ll leave you to it.”

“Oh, thank you so much,” Rodney stated.  He opened the 
files on the device and scrolled through the information.  

“You do know she cares about you,” Sheppard said.

Rodney bit back the retort he wanted to say.  He sighed and 
looked at Sheppard.  He knew John was right, but it didn’t 
make him feel any better. 

“I know,” he said, leaning against the table.  “At one 
time, it was enough.  Now, I want it to be more.”

“You love her,” Sheppard stepped closer to him.  “How do 
you know it’s not because of that device?”

Rodney stared at him, folding his arms across his chest.  
“Because I know, Sheppard.  I’ve always felt something for 
her.  If anything, the device only gave me the courage to 
actually go after her.”
Sheppard smiled as if he didn’t believe a word.  Rodney 
didn’t care.  He knew in his heart what the truth was. 

“I love her and this device isn’t going to take it away.”

“I believe you, Rodney, but don’t be disappointed if you 
fix it and all the feelings you had aren’t there anymore.”

“It won’t come to that,” Rodney turned his attention back 
to the database. 

“Good luck then.”

“I’ll need it.”


~*~


Elizabeth made her way to the mess hall, her stomach 
rumbling.  She stepped through the doors and almost ran 
into John.  She sidestepped him just in time.  

“Sorry,” she smiled.

“Elizabeth,” John followed her as she grabbed a tray.  
“Rodney figured out what that device was for.”

Elizabeth stopped and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.  
“He hasn’t told me.”

“I know why,” he said as he led her out of people’s way. 

“What are you talking about?” Elizabeth asked, not liking 
the tone in his voice. 

John looked around to make sure no one was around them.  He 
looked at her, an expression of worry on his face.  A sense 
of dread washed over her.  She braced herself for what was 
surely bad news. 

“The Ancients used the device as some kind of love potion,” 
John said.  

“You’re kidding me?” Elizabeth blurted.  “It was used to 
make people fall in love?”

“Yep,” Sheppard placed his hands in his pockets.  “He 
believes what ever you feel for him is because of the 
device.”

Elizabeth stared at him, not believing what he said.  She 
shook her head, running a hand through her hair.  It 
couldn’t be true.  These feelings were too strong to be 
anything, but real.  She was having his baby!  You couldn’t 
get much more real that that. 

“Maybe he read it wrong,” she said, trying to put her fears 
to rest.  Her heart beat in her chest, threatening to 
burst.  How could this happen?

“Rodney read something wrong?  I don’t think so.  He was as 
upset about it as you.”

“I know what I feel for him, John,” Elizabeth said.  
“Nothing is going to change that.”

“He’s looking for a way to stop what’s happening to you,” 
John said, changing the subject.  “He thinks he can reverse 
it.”

“He’ll find it,” she said.  

“Until then, he’ll probably avoid you,” John sighed.  

“That’s not going to happen,” Elizabeth made her way back 
to the serving line.  “I refuse to let him hide from me.  
I’ll convince him it’s real.”

“So, you’ll talk to him?”

“I’ll do more than that,” she said, smiling at John.

John stopped, raising his hands.  “I don’t want to know.”

Elizabeth smiled wider as John turned to leave.  She 
grabbed two trays and placed food upon them.  She knew 
Rodney well enough to know he was probably due to eat, but 
wouldn’t.  Bringing him food was a great excuse to talk to 
him.  

I have to convince him I truly love him, she thought as she 
headed out of the mess hall.  For both our sakes. 

She didn’t want to lose him, because his insecurities had a 
hold of him.  If Tatiana was right about Rodney being the 
one, then she wasn’t about to let him go.  

“Dr. Weir,” Tatiana headed toward her, a smile in her eyes.  
“Have you seen John?”

“He was in the mess hall a moment ago,” Elizabeth answered. 

Tatiana looked at the two trays and Elizabeth’s faced 
warmed. 

“I see you’re going to visit Rodney,” she said as if it was 
something Elizabeth did every day. 

“Yeah, I thought I’d cheer him up.”

Tatiana stared at her, brown eyes bore into her.  Elizabeth 
felt as if she had been caught telling a secret she 
shouldn’t have.  She looked away, not wanting to be under 
such scrutiny.

“He’s not feeling well?”

Elizabeth cleared her throat, wondering what the other 
woman knew.  “No, he’s not.  He discovered something that 
isn’t sitting well with him.”

“I hope you can help him.  He needs you.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Elizabeth knew she had to be 
blushing.  Her face burned with the way the conversation 
had taken.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Dr. Weir,” Tatiana 
continued.  “He loves you and I’d hate to see what would 
happen to him if you weren’t here.”

Elizabeth sighed.  “I know.  I need to convince him that I 
love him.  He believes that this device he’s working on is 
the reason I have feelings for him.”

“But you know it’s not.”

“I don’t know.  I know what I feel and I doubt a device can 
cause it.”

Tatiana shrugged and took one of the trays, which Elizabeth 
was grateful for.  She led the way to the transporter.

“There’s a side effect to the device,” Elizabeth said as 
the transporter doors opened.  “If we’re apart for more 
than a day, we get sick.  He’s already passed out twice.  
He’s afraid it might kill him the next time.  John said 
Rodney’s looking for a way to turn the device off.”

“Even if it means you won’t feel anything for him anymore?”

Elizabeth shook her head.  “These feelings weren’t because 
of a device.  I think it’s something more.  I believe it 
just brought what I already felt for him to the surface.”

“You’re going to let him know?”  Tatiana asked as they 
stepped into the corridor. 

“Yes.  He needs to know.”

They made their way to the lab, but Elizabeth had the 
feeling it would take more than her opinion to convince 
Rodney otherwise.  She hoped she was strong enough to 
battle his insecurities and stubbornness. 

The lab was silent as the two stepped in.  Elizabeth 
spotted Rodney working on two computers.  She smiled 
slightly, knowing he probably wouldn’t even sleep until he 
found a way to stop the effects.  She stood behind him, 
clearing her throat.

Rodney turned, startled by the interruption.  He looked at 
her then Tatiana.  His blue eyes focused back on her and 
she felt a wave of warmth flow through her.  It covered her 
entire body and she wished they were alone. 

“I knew you wouldn’t eat, so I brought you lunch,” she 
said, covering her sudden desire by placing the tray on the 
table. 

“You didn’t need to do that,” he said, turning back to the 
computer.  “I would have gotten something eventually.”

“No you wouldn’t, Rodney,” she said, knowing what he was 
doing.  She wasn’t about to let him hide from her.  “You 
would have dropped from hypoglycemia and you know it.”

Rodney sighed and pushed away from the computers.  He 
picked up the tray and headed to a less cluttered table.  
Elizabeth followed him, tray in hand.  She sat across from 
him, watching him, waiting for him to say something.

“I’m still searching,” he said, pushing his fork around the 
food.  “I suppose Sheppard told you what I learned.”

“Yes,” Elizabeth said softly.  She reached across the small 
space and touched his arm.  

He looked up at her.  Her heart sank at the pain in his 
blue eyes.  She wanted more than anything to take it away, 
but it would take more than a few words to do it.  She 
squeezed his arm. 

“It’s not real,” he whispered.  “What you feel for me isn’t 
real.”

“Rodney,” she said, her heart breaking.  

Rodney shook his head.  “Don’t say it, Elizabeth.  It’s 
just the device talking.  Once I figure out how to turn it 
off, we’ll go back to normal.”

Elizabeth stood and went around the table.  Anger and fear 
sent her quickly to his side.  She grabbed his hand, 
placing it on her stomach. 

“You’re telling me that’s not real?” she demanded, keeping 
his hand there when he tried to pull away.  “You’re saying 
the device created this?”

She saw the panic in his eyes and she released his hand.  
She sighed and went back to her seat.  She placed her head 
in her hands, fighting back the tears threatening to fall. 
She had to get through to him.  She loved him and it didn’t 
have anything to do with the device. 

“The baby’s real,” he said.  “What I feel for you is real.”

Elizabeth looked up in surprise.  He loved her?  She sat up 
straighter, clearing her throat.  “What makes you think 
your feelings aren’t real?”

“Because I’ve had them before the device,” he answered.  
“It’s also the reason I feel everything more acutely. The 
reason I pass out if we’re apart for more than a day.”

“I feel it, too, Rodney,” she said, looking him in the 
eyes.  “I get sick when you’re away.”

“I pass out,” he said, his old self returning.  “If I don’t 
stop this, I’ll die next time.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Elizabeth said.  “I’m not 
going to let you go that far again.”

Rodney shook his head.  “I wouldn’t doubt it, but I’m not 
leaving until I find a way to turn it off.”

“What about me, Rodney?  What about us?” 

He glanced away and she knew she hit a sore spot.  She 
sighed and reached out to take his hand in hers.  He looked 
at her and it was all she could do not to take him in her 
arms. 

“I’ll still love you, Elizabeth,” he said, his voice 
cracking.  “I’ll help you raise the baby.  I care about you 
too much to act as if nothing happened.”

She smiled, squeezing his hand.  Right there was proof 
enough she had to convince him she loved him.  He was too 
precious to her to let him believe it was only the device 
creating these emotions.  There had to be a way that he 
would believe. 

“I know, Rodney,” she said.  “I’ll be here for you.”

Rodney smiled, causing her heart to skip a beat.  She loved 
his smile and wished he’d do it more often.  

The two ate in silence, each deep in their own thoughts.  

“Rodney, Elizabeth, I hope you’re done eating,” John’s 
voice spoke in their ears.  “I need to discuss something 
with you.”

Rodney stared at Elizabeth, wondering what in the world 
could be so important to interrupt lunch. 

“We’ll be right there, John,” Elizabeth said, standing. 

“When did he start bossing you around?” Rodney asked, 
getting to his feet.  “I thought it was the other way 
around.”

Elizabeth smiled sheepishly, sending liquid fire to his 
groin.  He fought it down, knowing she would never really 
return his attentions.  It was times like this he wished he 
wasn’t a genius.  Maybe then he would still be blissfully 
unaware that Elizabeth’s feelings were manufactured by the 
Ancients. 

“It sounds urgent,” Elizabeth answered as she headed for 
the door.  “I want to know what he’s up to.”

Rodney grumbled as he hurried after Elizabeth.  He allowed 
himself a brief look at her backside before he shook 
himself back to reality.  

Get a grip, McKay, he chastised himself.  After you turn 
that thing off, she won’t have these feelings anymore.  
You’ll have to get yourself under control. 

He didn’t want to end it, but he knew he couldn’t allow the 
device to manipulate them any further.  Elizabeth had to 
have her real feelings back.  He also had to save them 
before the thing killed either one of them. 

Kill me more likely.

Sheppard waited for them in the briefing room, Tatiana by 
his side.  Rodney envied them.  Their emotions and feelings 
for each other were real. 

“So what is so important you had to interrupt our lunch?” 
Rodney asked, folding his arms across his chest.  

Sheppard and Tatiana stared at each other as if deciding 
who was to speak first.  Rodney sighed, rolling his eyes to 
the ceiling. 

“I have work to do, so will one of you talk.”

Rodney sensed Elizabeth’s eyes on him.  He knew what she 
must be thinking, but he didn’t care.  It was better than 
letting everyone know his world was crashing down around 
him. 

“Tatiana just let me know that back on her planet is 
something that could help us against the Wraith.”

“Oh, really?” Rodney snapped.  “And she is just now coming 
around to tell us this?”

“It slipped my mind and you only wanted to trade for the 
fruit trees,” Tatiana stated.  “You never mentioned 
fighting the Wraith.”

Rodney glared at Sheppard, who only shrugged as if it had 
slipped his mind to ask.  Rodney tossed his hands up and 
was about to leave when Elizabeth placed her hand on his 
shoulder.  He looked at her, her green eyes imploring him 
to stay.  His resolve fell away and he sighed.  He never 
could deny her anything. 

“What and where is it?” Rodney asked, turning his glare to 
the red-head. 

Tatiana looked away, clearing her throat as if she were 
nervous.  Good, maybe it would teach her a lesson about 
making him angry.  It wasn’t a good idea to interrupt a 
hypoglycemic’s meal. 

“It’s a mile from their town,” Sheppard said, his voice on 
the edge of rising.  Obviously it wasn’t a good idea to be 
angry at Tatiana.  “She’ll show us where it is.”

“In the middle of a blizzard?”

“It has been weeks, McKay,” Sheppard snapped.  “I’m sure 
the blizzard is gone by now.  We find it and retrieve it.”

“And I spend all my time trying to figure out what’s on it.  
At the same time, I’ll work on trying to reverse the 
effects of the card device.  And people wonder why I never 
sleep.”

“Oh, come off it, McKay.  You enjoy it and you know it.  
It’s not like you’re ever bored.”

“Fine,” Rodney growled.  “When do we leave?”

Sheppard smiled and he didn’t like the look of that grin.  
“Now.”

“Right, figures.”

Sheppard and Tatiana left the room, leaving Rodney alone 
with Elizabeth.  He looked at her, wanting to take her in 
his arms and finish what they started in his quarters.  He 
knew it wouldn’t be right, knowing what he did now.  He 
leaned against the table, wishing this was all a dream and 
Elizabeth really did love him. 

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked, placing a hand on his 
shoulder. 

He closed his eyes, letting the warmth of her hand pour 
over him.  “How can I be all right when I know the truth?”

“Rodney, we’ve been through this,” she said, sitting beside 
him.  “What I feel for you has nothing to do with the 
device.”

“How can I be sure?” He asked, looking at her.  Her green 
eyes told him everything, but it could all be a lie.  “The 
only way to know is to turn off the device.”

“Then turn it off, Rodney,” she whispered, running her 
fingers through his hair.  “Turn it off and find out.”

Rodney couldn’t hold back anymore.  He turned to look at 
her, taking her face in his hands.  He stared into her 
eyes, his heart racing.  He pressed his lips to hers, 
feeling the familiar sensations flowing through him.  He 
moaned into the kiss as she parted her lips.  Her hands 
buried themselves in his hair as their tongues dueled. 

“McKay, hurry up!” Sheppard’s voice poured cold water over 
Rodney’s flaming emotions. 

“I’m going to kill him,” he growled, reluctantly pulling 
away from Elizabeth.  He tapped his earpiece, glaring at 
the wall.  “I’ll be there!”

“Get your gear and let’s go.  The others are getting 
impatient.”

Rodney grumbled unpleasant words as he stomped out of the 
briefing room.

“Be careful, Rodney,” Elizabeth said, hurrying behind him.  

“I will,” he said, heading to gather what he needed. 










































Chapter Fourteen




The snow came down in large fluffy flakes, but it wasn’t 
the blizzard he had been expecting.  Still, he pulled the 
hood of his dark blue parka tight against his head.  He 
wasn’t going to take a chance he might catch a cold.  He 
was miserable enough.  

The snow buried his feet in its coldness.  He grumbled as 
he followed the others after Tatiana.  He hoped whatever 
this thing was would be worth it.  Sheppard wouldn’t hear 
the end of it if they came all this way and froze to death 
for nothing.  

He’d get more than an earful from me, Rodney yanked his 
foot out of the snow.  Oh, boy will he get more. 

“Here comes our guide,” Tatiana said, pointing toward a 
figure coming toward them.  

“I thought you knew were it was,” Rodney said. 

“I know someone who knows where it is,” Tatiana said, 
causing Rodney to roll his eyes. 

Tatiana stepped toward the man, embracing him in a hug.  
The man resembled a black bear with all the fur he wore.  
The man turned toward them, a smile on his face.  Rodney 
shivered, not liking the smile.  It was more like a snake 
smiled at him. 

“This is Craven,” Tatiana said.  “He is my mother’s 
brother.  He will lead us.”

“We should reach it before the snow gets worse,” Craven 
said. 

“That would be great,” Rodney snapped.  

“Don’t start, McKay!” Sheppard warned.  “I’m not above 
knocking you into the snow.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but said nothing.  He wanted to get 
this over with and be back in Atlantis.  The sooner he got 
this thing and figured it out, the sooner he could figure 
out how to turn the love potion off.  

The wind picked up, tossing snow in his face.  He groaned, 
wrapping his arms around his mid-section, trying to keep 
warm.  If he caught a cold from this little outing, he was 
going to kill Sheppard.  

“It’s through the forest,” Craven said, drawing their 
attention to the evergreen forest up ahead. 

“Oh, good,” Rodney said.  “The light at the end of the 
tunnel.”

“McKay, I’m warning you.”

“I have every right to complain,” Rodney snapped.  “You 
dragged me to this frozen wasteland!”

Sheppard spun around and headed toward him, but Tatiana 
grabbed his arm.  

“Leave him alone, John,” she said, her voice barely 
traveling on the wind.  “He’s hurting.”

“I’ll hurt him even more if he doesn’t shut up.”

“Like you could hurt me any more than I already do.  I’d 
take it as a relief!”

Sheppard glared at him, but Rodney didn’t back down.  Being 
knocked out would be a great release from what he felt, not 
to mention the cold.  He folded his arms across his chest, 
daring the man to do something. 

“Come on, then,” Sheppard growled.  He turned, heading 
toward the forest. 

“You got lucky,” Teyla whispered to him as they followed.  

“I wouldn’t call it luck,” Rodney said.  “I wouldn’t be 
much help face down in the snow.”

“Why are you trying to start something with John anyway?”

Rodney looked at Teyla, seeing the concern in her eyes.  He 
sighed, concentrating on not stumbling in the deep snow. 

“The device Elizabeth and I found last month,” he said.  “I 
found out what it was for.”

“And it is not good news.”

“No, it’s not.  The Ancients were experimenting with a way 
to make people fall in love.”

“Oh, Rodney,” Teyla said, placing a hand on his arm.  

“What ever Elizabeth feels for me is only because of that 
device.”

“And you’re going to turn it off.”

“I have to,” Rodney sighed.  “It has deadly side effects if 
we’re apart for more than a day.”

“I’m sorry,” Teyla whispered, squeezing his arm.  

“Not as much as I am,” Rodney’s voice cracked and he 
cleared his throat to cover it. 

The wind whistled through the trees, sending more snow 
pouring down upon them.  Rodney grumbled as he trudged 
through the forest. 

At least the snow isn’t as deep in here, he thought. 

The wind howled sending Rodney deeper into his parka.  He 
glared at the snow falling around him.  He debated picking 
up his pace just to get this over with.  

I’d probably stumble over a tree root with all this snow. 

“How far is this thing again?” Rodney asked, blinking back 
the snow in his eyes. 

“Right here,” Craven said.

Rodney looked up to see Craven, Tatiana, Ronon, and John 
standing at the edge of the forest.  He sighed in relief 
and jogged the rest of the way.  He pulled out his 
detector, turning it on as he caught up with the others. 

“This should make it worth your while,” Sheppard said as he 
stepped aside to let Rodney take a look.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he looked up from the detector 
and stopped.  Before him was a large clearing covered in 
pristine snow.  In the center of the meadow was a gray 
tower rising high into the sky.  Rodney stared at the tower 
in amazement. 

“Rodney,” Sheppard nudged him in the shoulder.  “Rodney, 
what is it?”

Rodney blinked, shook his head, and looked at his detector.  
“I’m picking up energy readings from that tower.”

“Let’s check it out,” Sheppard led the way into the 
clearing.

“You think it’ll actually help us against the Wraith?” 
Rodney asked Craven.

“I have only been inside once,” the man said.  “I saw large 
rooms filled with machines.”

“Computers,” he corrected as they neared the tower.  “They 
might tell us what this tower was used for.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

Rodney stared at him, but he only smiled.  He narrowed his 
eyes, turning his attention back to the device in his 
hands. 

“How do you open this?” Sheppard asked, standing at the 
foot of the tower.

Rodney noticed the tower didn’t have a door, much less 
signs that anything opened.  He looked around, searching 
for a lever or something which would open a secret 
entrance.

“With this?” Tatiana moved toward the first stump Rodney 
had seen on this planet.  She pressed her palm against the 
top and Rodney heard a click.  The sound of stone against 
ground came from his left.  A hole formed in the ground in 
front of the tower.  

“Well, that’s interesting,” Sheppard said, turning on the 
light to his P-90.  He led the way into the opening in the 
ground, Rodney following. 

“The readings are getting stronger,” Rodney said, carefully 
walking down the steps.  

The further down they went, the warmer it became.  It was a 
respite from the bone-chilling cold and Rodney welcomed it.  
Consoles were scattered around the room, illuminated by the 
flashlights.   

“This is the place,” he said, turning off his detector.  He 
removed his parka, placing it on the nearest console. 

“Can you get the lights on?” Sheppard asked focusing his 
flashlight on the console Rodney stood over.

“That’s what I’m doing now,” he said, hooking up his 
computer.  “Shouldn’t take long.”

“Good.  I don’t like searching a place in the dark.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but he had the lights on in little 
time.  He blinked back the brightness then went to work on 
finding what the tower was used for. 

“Teyla, Ronon, you’re with me,” Sheppard said, walking away 
from the console.  “We’re going to do some exploring.”

Rodney continued to work on the computer, barely noticing 
the eyes upon him.  He brought up the tower’s database, 
smiling at his find.

“You learned something?” Craven asked, standing beside him. 

“The database for this tower,” Rodney said, not looking 
from the screen.  “This was a secret base for experimenting 
on how to defeat the Wraith.  I just need to find what they 
were experimenting with and see if we can’t duplicate it.”

“I’m glad I could be of some help,” Craven said and walked 
away to look at another console. 

“Thanks,” Rodney said, his fingers flying across the 
keyboard.  

“I can be of some more help,” Tatiana said, stepping closer 
to him. 

He looked up in surprise.  “More help?”

“Help with your pain,” she said, placing her hands on the 
edge of the console.  “I had a talk with Dr. Weir.  I know 
about the device.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes and turned away.  “You can’t help 
me there.  Just go away and let me work.”

“Dr. Weir does not believe the device caused her to have 
those feelings,” Tatiana continued as if he hadn’t said a 
word.  “Don’t you think she would know her own feelings?”

Rodney glared at the computer, wishing the woman would 
leave him alone.  He didn’t need this now.  He needed to 
focus and thinking about Elizabeth’s real emotions wasn’t 
about to help.  

“I’m not saying anything to the contrary. I just don’t 
think the emotions she has towards me are real.”

“She does.”

Rodney shook his head, trying to focus on the computer.  He 
barely read the words scrolling before him.  All he thought 
about was Elizabeth.  He wanted her to love him.  He wanted 
it to be real, but he knew better.  

“I need to focus here,” he said, turning his glare to her.  
“Do you mind?”

“You’re going to deny what she feels because of what you’ve 
learned about the device?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and turned to face her.  He folded 
his arms across his chest, narrowing his eyes. 

“I’m not denying her feelings,” he said.  “I just know what 
she feels for me is not real.  The device was created to 
make people fall in love.  It infected us when I turned it 
on by touching it.”


“How do you know you’re feelings for her aren’t real?” 
Tatiana asked, not backing down from his glare. 

“Because I was in love with her before the device,” he 
answered. 

Tatiana’s eyes widened and she took a step back.  “I’m 
sorry.”

“That makes two of us,” he said, turning back to the 
computer.  

“What have you found, McKay?” Sheppard asked, returning 
with Teyla and Ronon. 

“You first,” Rodney said, not looking up from his computer. 

“More rooms like this,” Sheppard said, coming to stand 
beside him.  

Rodney sighed, knowing he wasn’t about to get much further.  
“From what I could learn so far, they were developing a new 
weapon.  I can copy these files to my computer and study 
them more back at Atlantis.”

“So where is this weapon?” Ronon asked. 

“If they built it, it should be here.”

“Unless they built it somewhere else,” Sheppard said.

“Or didn’t get the chance to build it,” Ronon put in.

“We can debate this all day, but I want to go home,” Rodney 
snapped.  “Let me download this and get out of here.”

“Someone’s cranky,” Sheppard said. 

Rodney rolled his eyes and typed on the keys.  He watched 
as the data transferred to his hard drive.  Thoughts of 
Elizabeth drifted to the front of his mind and he closed 
his eyes.  Images of her smile flashed before him.  
Memories of their love making burned behind his eyes.  To 
know that none of it was real tormented him. 

“Are you all right?” Sheppard asked, placing a hand on his 
shoulder. 

“Fine,” Rodney said, clearing his throat.  “Download’s 
done.”

“Good.  Let’s get out of here.”

Rodney disconnected his laptop from the Ancient computer 
and followed after the others.  

The snow had stopped falling much to Rodney’s relief.  That 
relief was quickly smothered by the chill in the air, made 
colder by the breeze. Rodney shivered, putting his parka 
back on. 

“I hate the cold,” he grumbled.

“This from someone from Canada,” Sheppard remarked. 

“Oh, very funny,” Rodney said between clinched teeth.  

“What is Canada?” Tatiana asked.

“It’s a country known for extremely cold weather.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, gathering his parka tightly around 
him.  He felt a cold coming on and he sniffed.  He decided 
to keep his grumbling to himself else give Sheppard some 
more ammo to make fun of him with. 

I’m going to make a mug of hot chocolate when I get back, 
he thought as he trudged through the deep snow.  Then wrap 
myself in a warm blanket and stay in bed.

He knew it would make things better if Elizabeth was with 
him.  He closed his eyes and pictured her there, both of 
them wrapped in a thick blanket.  He smiled as he imagined 
the conversations they’d have.  His heart raced as he 
imagined kissing her, everything forgotten around them. 

Elizabeth, Rodney thought, his heart aching.  I wished you 
truly loved me. 

They arrived at the DHD much to Rodney’s relief.  He made 
his way toward it. 

“Don’t move,” Craven said, stopping Rodney from dialing. 

He looked over his shoulder and saw Craven, a primitive 
pistol in his hand.  Rodney groaned, knowing it was too 
easy. 

“What is this?” Tatiana asked, surprised at the betrayal of 
her uncle.  “What are you doing?”

“I knew these people were good for something the moment I 
heard about them,” Craven said, his snake like smile wide.  
“I’m going to take that thing there and sell it to someone 
in need of it.”

“We’re in need of it,” Rodney said.  “Besides, I need to 
find the plans for the weapon first.”

“We’re not giving you anything,” Sheppard said, aiming his 
P-90 at Craven.  “It’s ours fair and square.”

“It was on my planet, therefore it is mine,” Craven said, 
“Hand it over and no one gets hurt.”

“You can’t do this, Craven,” Tatiana said, reaching for 
Craven’s gun.  

“I can do what ever I want,” Craven said, pushing Tatiana 
to the ground.  “Give me the computer as you call it.”

“No,” Rodney growled.  “We’re getting off this freezer of a 
planet with the plans.”

“I’d thought you’d be more reasonable than this,” Craven 
said, aiming his gun at Rodney.  “I guess I was wrong.”

“McKay!” Sheppard jumped in front of him as the gun went 
off.

Rodney winced as Sheppard fell to the ground, his shoulder 
bleeding.  He knelt beside John as Tatiana rushed toward 
them.  
 
“John!” Tatiana shouted, kneeling beside him. 

“He’s all right,” Rodney said.  “I’ll dial the gate.”

Rodney stood only to duck as gunfire sounded all round him.  
He looked up and saw Teyla on the ground unconscious.  
Craven dodged Ronon’s gunfire, returning his own. 
“Looks like they might need some help,” Rodney said, 
pulling out his 9mm.  “Dial the gate and get back to 
Atlantis.”

“Rodney,” Tatiana shouted as Rodney moved to check on 
Teyla.

Teyla lay on her back, but he didn’t see any blood or 
gunshot wounds.  Obviously, she was knocked unconscious. He 
checked for a pulse to be sure and sighed in relief.  He 
looked up and saw Ronon lying on his stomach, aiming his 
gun toward Craven.

Rodney aimed in the same direction and squeezed the 
trigger.  He dived for the snow as bullets flew by his 
head.  

“Give up!” Ronon shouted.  “We have you outnumbered.”

“Not until I get that computer,” Craven shouted back, 
firing his gun.

“How many bullets does that gun hold?” Rodney asked.  He 
moved closer, firing as he went. 

“Will you get back, McKay,” Ronon said.

“Tatiana and Sheppard made it through the gate,” Rodney 
said.  “We should fall back and do the same.”

“Fine by me,” Ronon said and moved to get Teyla. 

Rodney covered him, wishing he had brought his P-90.  He 
never thought he’d be in a shoot out on this planet.  The 
slowly increasing snowfall made it difficult to aim.  Lying 
on the cold snow wasn’t a picnic either.  The wetness 
seeped into his clothes.

“I am so getting a cold,” he griped as he squeezed off some 
more rounds.  “Are you there?”

Rodney looked back to see Ronon carry Teyla through the 
gate.  “About time.”

He climbed to his feet, the gate in sight.  He ran firing 
as he went.  

“No!” Craven shouted.  “You’re not leaving.”

Rodney reached the DHD and ran out of bullets.  He groaned, 
seriously wishing he had brought his P-90.  He saw Craven 
racing across the snow.  Bullets hit the DHD, causing 
Rodney to jump. 

“This isn’t my day,” he grumbled as he raced toward the 
gate.

“No!” Craven fired off his weapon.

Pain shot through Rodney’s shoulder.  He cried out as he 
spun around, landing on his back.  He blinked against the 
pain, forcing himself to get to his feet.  He rose to a 
sitting position when a bullet hit the snow beside him.  He 
froze his heart racing. 

“Don’t move,” Craven said, aiming the gun at him.  “I have 
two more bullets left.  Don’t make me use them.”

Rodney lifted his hands in surrender.  The gate shut down 
behind him.  He closed his eyes in defeat. 

“This is so not my day,” he whispered. 

“No, it isn’t,” Craven said.

Blinding pain slammed into him before darkness took over. 



















Chapter Fifteen




Rodney woke to a sharp pain in his shoulder.  He grimaced 
at the ache and tried to sit up. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Craven’s voice came to 
his ears.  “I was able to remove the bullet, but you’re 
going to feel the pain.”

Rodney opened his eyes to find himself in a dimly lit room.  
His gaze took in a thatched room and wooden walls.  A 
window on the far side of the room across from him let him 
know it was spring.  He closed his eyes and groaned.  

“Where am I?” 

“Trylia in the village of Valbridge,” Craven answered.  

“I thought your people never left your planet,” Rodney 
said, glaring at the man. 

Craven smiled and knelt beside him.  “Unlike my people, I’m 
not afraid to venture out of the town.  There are wonders 
beyond our world that they are only beginning to dream 
about.  I’ve traded with these Trylians for two years.  
They will pay handsomely for this computer and what it 
holds.”

“They’ll never be able to understand what they’re looking 
at,” Rodney sneered.  “And nether will you.”

Craven smiled, holding up a stack of brown papers.  “That’s 
where you come in.  You will find those files again and 
copy them on these papers in language they will 
understand.”

“And if I don’t?”

“You’ll die. Slowly,” Craven said.  “And I wouldn’t worry 
about your friends.  They have no reason to think you’re 
alive.  I left no trace of either of us on my planet.”

Rodney closed his eyes as thoughts of Elizabeth raced 
through his mind.  He wanted to see her again, even if she 
didn’t really love him.  He knew she wouldn’t give up 
searching for him, even if it was just to bring back his 
body.  

“You don’t know us very well,” he said.  “We don’t leave 
anyone behind.”

“They don’t know where you are,” Craven said.  “They’ll 
give up when they realize it is futile to keep searching 
for you.”

Rodney shook his head.  “We’ll see.”

“In the meantime, turn this thing on and get to work,” 
Craven said, dropping the laptop on Rodney’s stomach.

~*~

“Get back to that planet and find him,” Elizabeth said, 
staring at those around her in the briefing room.  John 
still recovered in the infirmary, so she’d asked Lorne to 
sit in on the meeting. 

“He might not be on the planet,” Tatiana said, causing a 
trickle of fear to form in Elizabeth.  “Craven sounded like 
he wanted to sell the information to others.”

“And to do that he needed to leave the planet,” Elizabeth 
finished.  She sat down, her head in her hands. 

“I did not know my uncle traded with anyone, let alone on 
another planet,” Tatiana said.  

“There is no telling where he might have taken Rodney, if 
they are not on Tatiana’s planet,” Teyla put in.  

Elizabeth sighed as the knot of fear grew in her stomach.  
She knew there were thousands of possible gate addresses 
from one DHD.  She didn’t want to go through them all in 
hopes of finding him.  An idea came to her. 

“You have not used the gate in awhile?” Elizabeth said.  

“The gate has not been used in centuries,” Tatiana said.  

Elizabeth nodded, “Get Zelenka and get the addresses from 
the DHD.  Any addresses not from Atlantis will be those 
Craven used.”

“Let’s hope it is not too late,” Teyla said.  “Craven might 
have taken Dr. McKay to a planet too far away.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes, knowing Teyla was right.  If 
that was true, Rodney might be feeling the side effects 
right now.  She ran a hand through her hair, knowing she’d 
feel them soon enough. 

“Then hurry,” she said.  “The sooner you find him, the 
better it will be for both of us.”

Teyla nodded and led the group out of the briefing room.  
Elizabeth sighed as the fear bubbled in her stomach. 


~*~


Rodney sat up in the rickety bed trying to ignore the pain 
in his shoulder.  He stared at the information on his 
computer screen, writing down the plans for a weapon on the 
brown sheets of paper.  

I doubt these people even have the materials to build this, 
he thought.  Craven is wasting their time. 

Then again Craven could bring the materials to them.  If he 
was able to find some.  

What he needed to concentrate on was finding a way to 
escape.  Craven left him for short amounts of time, 
probably to find people interested in this weapon.  Rodney 
should be able to leave the house without anyone noticing.  

He looked up from the screen, his gaze sliding toward the 
door.  Voices came from outside.  He listened intently, but 
neither voice was Craven.  If he hurried, he could escape 
this place and find the nearest gate. 

“Here goes nothing,” Rodney said as he placed the laptop on 
the bed.  He flung the covers aside, wincing as the 
movement caused pain.  He pushed himself to his feet.  The 
harsh wooden floor rough against his skin. 

Rodney found the pile of clothes against the far wall.  
Grumbling, he pulled them on as fast as he could.  He 
looked around for his gun, rolling his eyes when it wasn’t 
there. 

“Great,” he headed back to the bed, picking up his laptop 
and the brown papers.  No since in letting Craven have what 
little information he wrote. 

Dizziness over came him then.  He leaned against the wall, 
his eyes closed against the wave.  His heart raced as dread 
filled him.  This wasn’t a reaction to hunger, this was 
worse. 

“Oh, no,” he whispered as an ache of longing built inside 
him.  He ran a hand through his hair and found it was wet.  
He looked at his wet shaking hand as nausea flowed through 
him. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself.  
It could just be from lack of food.  Rodney told himself, 
but he knew it wasn’t.  

“I have to get out of here,” Rodney said, picking up his 
computer and papers.  He hoped it wasn’t a long way to the 
gate.  He’d hate to be on this planet when the effects 
overwhelmed him. 

Rodney peeked through the door, looking both ways for 
Craven.  Relief washed over him when he saw the way was 
clear.  

“Let’s go,” he whispered and dashed out of the building.  
He headed toward what he hoped was the way out of town.  
Knowing his luck, it would be straight into Craven’s grasp. 

He ignored the strange stares as he hurried through the 
village.  He nearly ran into a horse drawn cart, but he 
stepped to the side in time.  The man yelled at him, but he 
didn’t hear as he made his way toward freedom. 

Images of Elizabeth flashed before his eyes and the ache 
grew stronger.  He had no idea where this planet was in the 
galaxy, but he hoped he was able to dial Atlantis.  This 
was worse than before and he knew it would kill him if he 
didn’t get back to Elizabeth. 

A forest loomed up ahead.  He picked up his pace, hoping 
the gate was on the other side.  His vision had become 
blurry and a wave of dizziness stopped him in his tracks.  
He breathed heavily as he rubbed his eyes.  He blinked, 
trying to clear his eyesight.  

“McKay!” A voice startled him. 

He spun around and his vision cleared then.  He groaned as 
Craven ran up to him.  He shook his head and hurried toward 
the forest.  He wasn’t going to let Craven take him 
prisoner a second time.

“The gate isn’t that way, McKay!” Craven shouted at him. 

“Just what I wanted to hear,” Rodney grumbled.  Nausea 
rolled up inside him, causing him to fall to his knees.  He 
coughed, trying to keep from throwing up. 

“Running obviously isn’t your strong suit,” Craven said, a 
smile in his voice.

Rodney glared up at him, but he was only a blurry blob.  He 
groaned, wanting to lie on the ground and let the effects 
take over him.  It was preferably better than being this 
man’s prisoner. 

“You’re awfully pale,” Craven said.  “You should eat 
something.”

He tossed a piece of fruit at Rodney.  It landed in his 
lap, avoiding the dirt.  The green fruit only caused his 
nausea to rise up again.  He fought it down as he picked up 
the fruit and bit into it.  He knew it wouldn’t help, but 
it might relieve the nausea. 

“Now, get up.  I’m taking you back,” Craven said, aiming 
the gun at him.

Rodney glared at him, but climbed to his feet.  Dizziness 
washed over him, nearly causing him to fall.  He held his 
head, closing his eyes until the wave passed. 

“What is wrong with you?” Craven asked, grabbing his 
uninjured shoulder.  “You act like you’re sick.”

“I’m not acting,” Rodney growled, jerking his shoulder out 
of the man’s grip.  He picked up his computer and the 
papers, fighting back the nausea.

“What ever it is, it’s not going to prevent you from 
working,” Craven said, pushing him back toward the village. 

Rodney stumbled, but he caught his balance.  He wished he 
wasn’t feeling like this, and then maybe he could teach 
this idiot a thing or two.  He also wished he had his gun. 

“I found a buyer for those plans,” Craven said.  “Once you 
finish writing them up, I’ll sell them.”

“Then I can go?” Rodney asked, knowing that wouldn’t 
happen.  He’d probably be dead before he even finished. 

“Of course,” Craven said, pushing him once again. 

“I’m going as fast as I can,” Rodney snapped.  “You want me 
to run?”

“You are a cranky one.”

“So I’ve heard,” Rodney rolled his eyes, then wished he 
hadn’t when a wave of dizziness came over him.  He shook 
his head to clear it, but it only made it worse.  He 
groaned, closing his eyes.

“Move it, McKay.”

Rodney jogged a couple of steps just to keep Craven from 
pushing him.  He wanted to lie down and stop this dizziness 
and nausea.  He wanted to see Elizabeth again, hold her 
again.  He had never been away from her for this long and 
it was killing him. 

“Elizabeth,” he whispered as he entered the village. 

Luckily, Craven’s house wasn’t far.  Rodney stumbled inside 
and lied down on the bed.  His computer slid to the floor 
as Craven entered. 

“I’ll give you a moment to rest,” Craven said as he closed 
the door.  “Then I want you to finish.”

Rodney stared at the ceiling, his heart racing.  He doubted 
he would be able to finish transcribing the plans.  The 
longing for Elizabeth was unbearable as was the headache 
that formed the moment he entered the house.  He closed his 
eyes, knowing he wasn’t going to see her again. 

~*~

Elizabeth paced her office, waiting for the away team to 
return.  They had been gone an hour, but it felt like five.  
She ran a hand through her hair.  She stared at it when it 
came away wet.  

“Rodney,” she whispered, closing her eyes.  She was shaky, 
but she couldn’t sit down.  She longed for Rodney to 
return, but she feared it might be too late.  If she felt 
like this, it was worse for him.  She tried to force the 
dark thoughts from her mind, but they returned stronger 
than before. 

“Offworld activation!”

“Finally,” Elizabeth said as she headed into the control 
room. 

“It’s Teyla,” Chuck said. 

“Let them in,” she said as she raced down the steps.  She 
hoped they had good news to report. 

Lorne stepped through the gate first, followed by Teyla and 
Zelenka.  

“Did you get them?” Elizabeth asked, eager for the news. 

“We got them,” Zelenka said.  “I need to analyze it and see 
how many addresses are in storage.”

“Then we can see where they went,” Elizabeth said.

“It should take an hour, hopefully,” Zelenka hurried toward 
the lab.

Elizabeth sighed as Teyla came up to her.  She raised an 
eyebrow as she looked at the other woman.

“Are you all right?” Teyla asked as the two walked back up 
to Elizabeth’s office.

“Not really,” she answered.  “I’m feeling those side 
effects.”

“Rodney told me about them,” Teyla said as Elizabeth sat at 
her desk.  “He said he feels them worse.”

Elizabeth nodded.  “He’s passed out twice before.  He 
believes it will kill him this time.”

“Then we have to find him before that happens.”

“I think an hour might be too late,” she said, her heart 
sinking.  “It feels as if he’s slipping away.”

“Don’t think like that,” Teyla said, coming to stand beside 
her.  “We’ll find him and bring him back alive.”

Tears pricked Elizabeth’s eyes.  She placed her head in her 
hands to stop them.  She had to be strong, for both their 
sakes.  She had to believe they’d find him alive.  She had 
to believe she would see him again.  It was all that kept 
her sane as the side effects tormented her. 

“I can’t lose him,” she whispered as she stared at the gate 
below.  “I can’t bear to be without him.”

“Concentrate on the knowledge that you will see him again,” 
Teyla said, stroking Elizabeth’s back.  

“He’s too stubborn to let something like this get to him,” 
Elizabeth said, resting her chin on her clinched hands.  
“He’s been through worse and survived.”

“Focus on that.”

“I’ll have to,” Elizabeth sighed.  “Otherwise, I’ll be a 
wreck with these side effects.”

“I’ll bring you something to eat,” Teyla left the office.

Elizabeth stared at the open door, thoughts of Rodney vying 
for dominance in her head.  She closed her eyes and focused 
on one memory.  She smiled as the moment she first met him 
came to her mind.  She focused on it and the nausea slowly 
left her.  

When Teyla returned with lunch, Elizabeth felt better.  She 
dug into her meal.

“You seem better,” Teyla remarked with a smile.

“I thought of the first time I saw Rodney,” Elizabeth took 
a sip of water.  “The nausea I was feeling went away.”

“Wonderful,” Teyla said.  “Was he anything like he is now?”

“Worse,” Elizabeth said laughing.  “We warmed up to each 
other eventually, though.”

“He does take some getting used to,” Teyla said. 

“That he does,” Elizabeth smiled as the tension eased from 
her body.  The shakiness was still there, but she was no 
longer dizzy.  She sighed in relief and hoped Rodney was 
all right. 

“Dr. Weir,” Zelenka’s voice came to her ear. 

“Go ahead,” Elizabeth said, her heart racing.  

“I was able to find an address that Craven used several 
times.  In fact, it was the last address dialed.”

“Thank you, Radek.  Bring it up here.  Elizabeth out.”

“He found the address?”

“He found Rodney.” 















Chapter Sixteen





Rodney lied in the bed, breathing hard as he fought the 
pain that had overwhelmed him.  It had come out of nowhere 
and rendered him helpless.  He opened his eyes as Craven 
hovered over him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Craven asked.  “This had 
better not be some ruse.”

Rodney shook his head as sweat trickled into his eyes.  “I 
don’t think I could fake this much pain.”

“Don’t move. I’ll get someone to help.”

“As if I could move,” Rodney said between gasps.  He closed 
his eyes as the door slammed, signaling Craven’s departure. 

Images of Elizabeth floated in his mind.  He focused on one 
vision of her smiling.  He held onto that moment and the 
pain slowly eased in his chest. 

His eyes flew open as the door banged against the wall.  
His gaze fell on Craven and a woman entered the house.  The 
woman had long graying black hair and wore a brown dress.  

Oh, great, Rodney thought as the woman knelt beside him.  A 
voodoo queen. 

The woman’s youthful green eyes looked him over.  Her hands 
hovered over his body, moving with her eyes.  Her eyes 
reminded him of Elizabeth and the ache returned.  He closed 
his eyes, moaning as he tried to focus on a memory. 

“He is in pain,” the woman said, her voice youthful.  “He 
is under the effects of a spell.”

“Not a spell,” Rodney gasped, glaring at the woman.  
“Ancient technology.”

The woman stared at him as if he were insane.  She stood 
and faced Craven. 

“He is dying,” the woman said and Rodney rolled his eyes. 

“I could have told him that,” Rodney ground out through 
clinched teeth.  

“Can you stop it?” Craven asked.  

The woman stared at Rodney.  He felt as if her eyes were 
attempting to look into him.  He glared back, but he 
doubted the stare was as affective as it usually was. 

“I can try,” she said, stepping toward the bed.  “He is 
stubborn enough to fight it.”

“What do you need?” Craven asked, heading for the door.

“Time and my bag from my house,” the woman answered holding 
her gaze with Rodney’s. 

“I’ll be back.”

Rodney stared into the woman’s green eyes.  He tried to 
imagine it was Elizabeth hovering over him, willing him to 
live.  Even if she didn’t really love him, he knew she 
would never want him to die.  

“Elizabeth,” he whispered as the woman stroked his hair. 

“If that’s what you want to call me, but my name is Zahra.”

Dizziness washed over him as a sharp pain stabbed through 
him.  He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth against it.  
He tried to focus on a memory of Elizabeth, but the pain 
stripped all thought from him. 

“It’ll be all right?” Zahra said, stroking his hair.  “What 
is your name?”

“Rodney,” he gasped, his hands clinched into fists around 
the blankets.  “Rodney McKay.”

“I’ll have you as good as new, Rodney,” Zahra said softly.  
“Don’t worry.”

The door opened and Craven stepped into the room.  He 
tossed a gray-brown bag at Zahra, who caught it.  

Rodney wondered who this woman was to look as old as she 
did, yet have the energy and agility of a younger woman.  
He shook his head, closing his eyes against the pain.  

“How much time do you need?” Craven asked, his voice harsh.

“As long as it takes to heal him,” Zahra answered, 
unaffected by the man’s tone.  “The spell that is killing 
him is strong.  It will take time.”

“Make sure he doesn’t die while you take your time,” Craven 
growled and slammed the door as he left.

“Impatient oaf,” Zahra growled, causing Rodney to smile.  
“You’re quite attractive when you smile.”

Rodney’s eyes flew open to focus on Zahra.  She smiled at 
him as she brought out a red object from her bag.  He 
stared at it as she brought it closer to him.  It looked 
like a red squash, but smaller. 

“This will ease the pain,” she said as she tore a small bit 
off.  “Open.”

Rodney closed his eyes as he opened his mouth.  She set it 
on his tongue and he closed his mouth.  He bit into it, 
juice flowing down his throat.  It was sweeter than it 
looked.

“If this turns my teeth red…” he began.  Zahra laughed 
causing him to glare at her. 

“It won’t turn your teeth red, Rodney.”

He sighed and realized he could breathe easier.  The pain 
had dissipated.  He stared at her in surprise. 

“Worked, didn’t it?” Zahra smiled.

Rodney nodded, amazed.  “What was that?”

“Avi root,” Zahra answered.  “It reduces pain.”

Rodney closed his eyes, realizing he found the source for 
Aleve in the Pegasus galaxy.  At least it tasted better. 

“Now for the healing,” Zahra said as she produced candles 
and smaller bags.  She placed the candles around the bed 
and lit them with a primitive lighter.  She brought out a 
dark blue cloth, placed it on Rodney’s mid-section and 
opened one of the small bags. 

“What is that?” Rodney asked, his heart racing.  He didn’t 
like going to the infirmary with the best doctor in the 
galaxy at the ready.  Being here in medieval times was even 
worse.  He doubted a few herbs would help heal him. 

“Crushed avi roots mixed with kalian petals and davin 
flower leaves.  It is to bring your fever down.”

“Really?” Rodney hadn’t known he was feverish.  That wasn’t 
good.  

She brought out a bowl and poured the mixture into it.  She 
brought out an animal skin flask and filled it with water.  
She mixed the ingredients together then handed him the 
bowl.

Rodney stared at the reddish tea and his nausea overwhelmed 
him.  He closed his eyes, shaking his head. 

“Drink it, Rodney,” she whispered, placing the bowl at his 
lips.  “It will help.”

Rodney fought back the queasiness and forced himself to 
drink the liquid.  The cool tea flowed down his throat 
soothing him.  He drank it all then lied back against the 
pillows. 

“There you go,” Zahra said.  “You’ll feel better soon.”

Rodney didn’t want to get his hopes up at that.  The 
dizziness made it so he couldn’t sit up even if he wanted 
to.  His pulse still raced as if he had run a marathon.  At 
least the nausea had gone away. 

Zahra poured the rest of the herb mixture onto the blue 
cloth, rubbed the ends together then placed it on Rodney’s 
forehead.  She opened up a second pouch and dumped the 
contents into her hands.  She rubbed her hands together and 
placed them on his chest. 

“What are you doing?” Rodney gasped in surprise.  He stared 
at her hands, attempting to move away from her.  He was too 
weak to do more than shift two inches to his left. 

“Hold still,” Zahra said, using her own strength to hold 
him in place.  “You’re heart is beating too fast.  You need 
to calm down.”

“Calm down?” Rodney shouted.  “How can I calm down when I’m 
dying and some stranger is having a feel?”

Zahra stared at him, her green eyes serene in the face of 
his temper.  The fight suddenly went out of him and he 
closed his eyes.  A moment later, he heard her soft voice 
chanting words that sounded like Ancient. 

Warmth flowed through him and a soothing calm chased the 
anxiety away.  He opened his eyes as Zahra took her hands 
off his chest.  She smiled at him and thoughts of Elizabeth 
came rushing into his mind.  An ache took his breath away 
and he gasped at the pain.

“Stay with me, Rodney,” Zahra whispered, as she ran her 
fingers through his hair.  

“Please,” he gasped.  “It hurts.”

Worry formed in Zahra’ eyes and he imagined Elizabeth with 
the same expression.  Did she have that look in her eyes 
now?  Was she feeling the effects as he did?  Would she 
survive when he died? 

“Hold on,” she whispered as she opened her final bag of 
herbs.  “I’m not about to give up.”

Rodney groaned, wanting this misery to end.  Even though 
the pain and nausea went away, the agony of longing was 
stronger than ever.  How long would her herbs last anyway 
before the pain in his chest came back? 

“Just stop,” he whispered his vision blurry once again.  
“It’s not going to work.”

Zahra looked at him in surprise.  She stroked his hair, 
trying to soothe him.  “It will work.  Trust me.”

Rodney closed his eyes.  A wave of dizziness came over him 
so strong he gasped.  It was worse than being tortured.  

“What is taking so long?” Craven’s voice startled him.  He 
hadn’t heard the door open. 

“The spell is stronger than I thought,” Zahra said as 
Rodney opened his eyes.  “He is weakening.”

“If he dies, so do you, Zahra,” Craven growled.  “I need 
him alive.”

“Then leave the room, so I can work,” Zahra snapped. 

Craven growled, but turned and left the room. 

“I’m sorry,” Rodney whispered. 

“You will live, Rodney.  I won’t let you die.”

Rodney didn’t have the strength to argue with her.  He 
closed his eyes, bringing Elizabeth’s smiling face to his 
mind. 


~*~


Rodney slowly opened his eyes to find it dark outside.  His 
gaze fell on Zahra who slept in a corner.  A torch hung on 
the wall above her, lighting the dark house.  

He looked around the rest of the room and saw they were 
alone.  Craven had not returned.  He tried to sit up, but 
was stopped by a pain in his chest.  He lied back down, 
gasping. 

“Rodney,” Zahra was at his side in an instant.  She stroked 
his hair, trying to soothe him.

“What happened?” Rodney asked, trying to catch his breath.

“I was able to keep you from dying,” she answered.  “I 
couldn’t break the spell, though.”

“I didn’t think you could,” he sighed.  “I have to get off 
this planet and back home.  That’s what will break the 
spell.”

“Then we better get you out of here,” Zahra whispered.  “I 
can keep you alive, but not for long.”

Rodney looked at her and knew she was right.  If he didn’t 
get back to Atlantis, he would die.  No amount of herbs and 
chanting will prevent that. 

“Where’s Craven?”

“At the tavern,” Zahra answered.  “We have enough time to 
get you out of the village.”

Rodney groaned as he sat up.  “Then let’s get going.”

“Careful,” she said as she helped him to his feet.  “You’re 
weak and getting weaker.  This might be too much for you.”

“There’s one thing you should know about me,” Rodney said 
as they headed toward the door.  “I have a tendency to work 
the best when all hope’s gone.”

Zahra stared at him and he smirked.  If he was going to go 
down, he’d rather go down fighting; even if that meant 
escaping the village and a madman. 

“Grab my laptop and those papers,” he said, nodding toward 
the bed.  “Best not let Craven get a hold of them.”

Zahra let him lean against the wall as she hurried toward 
the bed.  She grabbed the computer and the papers.  She 
headed back toward him as a pain shot through him.  He 
winced, grabbing his chest.  His knees buckled, but Zahra 
stopped him from falling. 

“Don’t give up now,” she said, helping him to stand.  
“Think about getting home.”

He looked at her, her green eyes filled with concern.  He 
took a deep breath.  

Think of Elizabeth, Rodney told himself.  She’s going 
through the same thing.  I have to get back. 

Zahra opened the door, looking both ways for Craven.  
Rodney leaned against the wall, trying to ignore the pain 
in his chest.  His heart raced as Zahra led him out of the 
house.  This time they went in the other direction. 

“Stay close,” Zahra whispered.

“No problem,” Rodney said, holding the computer and papers 
close to his chest.  He kept his eyes on Zahra, ignoring 
the buildings and people around him.  He feared he would 
lose her if he glanced in any direction for Craven.  It 
would be just his luck. 

A door opened to his right.  His heart nearly jumped out of 
his chest.  He leaped to his left in surprise, but relaxed 
when he saw it wasn’t Craven.  

“This way.  Hurry,” Zahra motioned for him to follow.  

He took a deep breath to calm himself and jogged after her. 

He saw the edge of the village up ahead and hope dared to 
grow inside.  He stumbled as they left the village.  Zahra 
caught him, saving him from a dive into the ground. 

“Thanks,” he whispered.  “I’ve never been this weak.  I can 
barely feel my legs.”

“We must hurry then,” Zahra said and pulled him toward the 
woods.  “He’ll notice we’re gone soon.  We have to get into 
the forest before then.”

Rodney nodded and tried to pick up his pace.  His vision 
became blurry.  He shook his head and blinked several 
times.  Fear built inside him, but he forced it down.  He 
had to concentrate on getting to the forest.  He could rest 
then. 

A chill wind blew towards him, cooling his sweating face.  
It was enough to revive him.  He narrowed his eyes and 
forced his feet to carry him the rest of the way. 

“That’s it,” Zahra said beside him.  “We’re almost there.”

Thunder sounded a moment later.  Rodney looked up and saw 
clouds covering the stars.  He groaned, but hurried.  He 
didn’t want to be caught in the middle of this field when 
the rain came.  Despair would take over then and it’d be 
over. 

Lightening flashed as he entered the forest.  He took two 
more steps and fell against a tree trunk.  He closed his 
eyes as he sank to the ground. 

“Rodney,” Zahra whispered her hands on his face.  “You have 
to get up or you’ll die here.”

“Need to rest,” he gasped.  “Give me a minute.”

“You might not have a minute,” Zahra snapped, pulling on 
his arm.  “Now get up, boy!”

Rodney glared at her as he got to his feet.  “Boy?  How old 
are you?”

Zahra smiled at him.  “I’m old enough to be your mother.”

He blinked at that bit of news.  He shook his head and 
followed her through the forest.  

Rain fell through the leaves, sending a chill through 
Rodney.  How much further is this gate?  It seemed forever 
since they entered the woods.  He didn’t think he could 
walk much more. 

Lights peered through the rain, catching his attention.  He 
blinked, thinking something was wrong with his vision 
again.  He narrowed his eyes, not wanting to hope.

“Do you see those lights?” Rodney asked. 

“Yes,” she answered, drawing him behind her.  “Who are 
they?”

“I hope my way home,” he said. 

The lights drew closer and he was able to make out figures.  
His heart raced in expectation as he called out to them. 

“Over here!”

“Rodney!” Zahra hissed.  “They might not be here for us.”

“I’d rather take that chance,” he said.  “Teyla! Sheppard!”

“McKay!” Teyla shouted back.  “Is that you?”

“Right here,” relief flooded him and he finally gave into 
the effects plaguing him. 


~*~


Elizabeth went through her memories of her and Rodney.  She 
focused on one memory when she had never seen him so happy. 
He had found an Ancient shield that had made him 
invulnerable.  He got a kick out of being thrown off a 
balcony, but it had terrified her.  She shook her head, 
wanting to see that smile once again. 

“Where are you?” Elizabeth whispered as she stared at her 
clasped hands.  

It was becoming harder to stop the waves of nausea and 
dizziness.  Fearing she would fall the moment she stood, 
she hadn’t gotten out of her chair in over an hour.  She 
was running out of memories to use against these effects.  
She didn’t know how much longer she would be able to 
withstand. 

“Offworld activation!”  

Elizabeth knocked her chair over as she raced into the 
control room.  She barely gave Chuck enough time to say who 
it was before she ordered the shield brought down.  She 
raced down the steps, her heart in her throat.  She hit the 
floor running only stopping when Teyla and Lorne came 
through carrying an unconscious Rodney between them. 

“Rodney!” Elizabeth shouted, fear rooting her to the spot. 

A moment later, a woman stepped through the gate, followed 
by the rest of the team.  The woman looked around her, 
obviously amazed by what she saw. 

“We found him in the middle of a forest,” Lorne said.  “He 
was with her.”

Lorne nodded toward the woman, but this was no time for 
introductions.  

Elizabeth touched her earpiece.  “Carson, we’re bringing 
Rodney to you.”

“He’s very weak,” the woman said as she followed them down 
the hallway.  “I don’t think he will last much longer.”

Elizabeth’s heart clinched at the news.  She looked over at 
him and noticed how pale he was.  Tears pricked her eyes, 
but she blinked them away.  Carson will know what to do. 

“You can brief me once Rodney’s taken care of,” she said, 
not wanting any distractions.  She focused on him staying 
alive.  She didn’t want to lose him, not now. 

They entered the infirmary after what seemed like forever.  
“Carson!”

“Over here,” Carson said moving equipment to the nearest 
bed.  “Put him on this bed.”

Teyla and Lorne lifted Rodney and placed him on the bed.  
They moved out of the way as Carson got to work.  

“My name is Zahra,” the woman said as Elizabeth watched 
Carson work on Rodney.  “I was able to keep him alive until 
we got here.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said, looking at the woman for the 
first time.  She was caught off guard by how Zahra’s eyes 
resembled hers.  Maybe that was how Rodney was able to keep 
death at bay.  

“He didn’t give up,” Zahra said.  “I believe he thought of 
you through it all.”

Elizabeth smiled as a tear trailed down her cheek.  She 
brushed it away, taking a deep breath.  She left the 
infirmary.  Once in the hallway, she leaned against the 
cool wall.  She closed her eyes, fear and grief rising up 
inside her. 

“He believed he would get better once he was here,” Zahra 
mentioned.  

Elizabeth nodded.  “If we’re apart like we were, we become 
ill.  It’s worse for him, because his feelings for me are 
so deep.”

“Is there a way to break the spell?”

Elizabeth smiled.  “He’s looking for a way to do just that.  
He thinks I won’t feel anything for him once he fixes 
this.”

“Why does he believe that?” Zahra asked confusion in her 
eyes.  “It is obvious you feel something for him.”

Elizabeth sighed, resting her head against the wall.  
“Rodney thinks the device caused me to have these feelings 
while it only made his stronger.  I’ve been trying to 
convince him otherwise.”

“Let him fix things and he will be convinced when you show 
him how much you love him.”

“He has to live first,” Elizabeth said, her voice cracking.

“He will once he knows you are near.”

































Chapter Seventeen





The doors to the infirmary opened and Elizabeth got to her 
feet.  Worry filled her very being as Carson stepped into 
the hallway. 

“I was able to stabilize him,” Carson sighed.  “Whoever got 
the bullet out of him did a lousy job.  It was infected, 
but was able to clean it.  I have him on antibiotics and 
painkillers.  I’ve done all I can.  The rest is up to him.”

“I need to be near him,” Elizabeth said.  “If he feels I’m 
close to him, he’ll pull through.”

“All right, but don’t take too long,” Carson said as he led 
the way back into the infirmary.  

Elizabeth wasn’t prepared for what she saw.  Her heart sank 
at the sight of his deathly pale face.  An oxygen tube was 
in his nose and his hair was plastered to his head from 
sweat.  She grasped his clammy hand and gently squeezed it. 

“I’m here, Rodney,” she whispered as she stroked his hair 
with her other hand.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it.  She 
held it to her chest as tears made their way down her 
cheeks.  She willed him to live, to open his eyes and 
looked at her.  It seemed forever since the last time she 
held him.  She missed him with all her heart and wished to 
hear his voice again. 

“Don’t give up,” Elizabeth whispered.  “You’re home now, 
Rodney.  I’m not going to let you go, ever.”

~*~

Rodney floated in darkness.  Every once in awhile he heard 
voices begging him to return.  He didn’t want to.  The pain 
was too much.  Everytime he tried to break through the 
darkness, a sharp pain ripped through him.  It was better 
to stay where he was.  It was safer here, quiet and 
peaceful, like floating in a warm lake at night. 

He had no idea how much times passed.  Time was all but 
forgotten.  The voices had returned.  One voice in 
particular sounded frantic.  He knew that voice, even loved 
it.  He wanted to reach out to her, be with her.  

Elizabeth, the name had meaning.  It gave him the strength 
to float to the surface of the darkness.  The pain shot 
through him again.  It was a blinding white pain and he 
wanted to turn around and head back into the shadows. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth’s voice called to him.  She sounded 
frightened, an emotion he rarely contributed to her.  
“Rodney, please, wake up.”

Something was wrong.  She never sounded like that before.  
He wanted to take the fear away, wanted to make it better.  
He tried to say her name, but nothing came out.  He had to 
break through the blackness surrounding him. 

He fought through the pain, concentrating on the hand 
stroking his hair.  He heard someone moan as the voice grew 
louder. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispered, tears in her voice.  “Can 
you hear me?”

White light pierced his eyelids.  He groaned as he slowly 
opened his eyes to blurry vision.  A well of panic went 
through him, but his eyes focused.  He looked at Elizabeth, 
sitting next to his bed.  Her green eyes were bright with 
tears. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney whispered his throat hoarse.  He didn’t 
like the sound of it.  It only proved he was out for longer 
than he believed. 

“You had all of us worried,” she said, handing him a cup of 
water.  “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

He took a long sip of water, letting the cool liquid soothe 
his aching throat.  He closed his eyes as he lied back 
against the pillows.  

“How long was I out?” Rodney asked, handing her back the 
cup. 

“A week,” she answered, placing the cup on the table.  
“There was a moment when I thought you might never wake 
up.”

“I heard you,” he said.  “You sounded terrified.”

Elizabeth clasped his hand, giving it a squeeze.  “I 
thought I’d lost you.  You weren’t getting any better, no 
matter what Carson or Zahra tried.  We even thought about 
putting you in stasis.”

Rodney shook his head.  It was almost as bad as waking up 
in a coffin.  “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“So am I,” Elizabeth leaned forward and kissed him.  

Memories of the last time they kissed floated to Rodney’s 
mind.  Desire for her rose inside him, hot and wild.  He 
wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.  He 
ignored the ache in his shoulder as he deepened the kiss.  
He moaned, loving the taste of her.  He missed this, missed 
her. 

Their tongues dueled, causing his arousal to grow.  If he 
didn’t have her now, he would explode.  Here wasn’t the 
place, though.  Carson or someone else could walk in on 
them. 

“Elizabeth,” he groaned as he pulled away from her.  “I 
need you.”

“Well, you’re just going to have to wait,” Carson’s voice 
sliced through his desire like cold water. 

“Carson,” he growled, glaring at the man.  “You have the 
worst timing.”

“I think I have pretty good timing,” Carson said.  “Glad to 
see you’re awake.  We were about to lose hope.”

Rodney looked at Elizabeth.  Were they about to give up on 
him?  Did they really think he was lost to them? 

“I’m just glad you’re alive,” Elizabeth said, squeezing his 
hand.  “Now I can breathe again.”

Rodney smiled, returning her squeeze.  He vowed to never 
leave her again. 

“I see Sleeping Beauty is awake,” Sheppard stood at the 
foot of Rodney’s bed.  “I guess I won’t get to try a mind 
meld.”

Rodney raised an eyebrow.  “I don’t think you can do that, 
Sheppard.”

Sheppard shrugged.  “We were running out of ideas on how to 
get you back.  Hell, we even tried magic.”

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “There’s no such thing.”

“Tell that to Zahra,” Sheppard smirked.  “Whatever she did 
was pretty damn close.  She said you were at death’s door 
when she got to work.”

Rodney didn’t want to be reminded how close he’d come to 
dying.  He looked at Elizabeth and saw she didn’t want to 
be reminded either. 

“Can we change the subject?” he griped, glaring at 
Sheppard.  

“Glad to,” Sheppard said, coming to stand beside Elizabeth.  
“Zelenka took a look at what you downloaded from that 
tower.  They are plans to build a weapon, but we don’t know 
if they already completed or even started.”

“Not without going back there,” Rodney said.  He didn’t 
want to go back to that planet, ever.  He had enough of the 
cold and Tatiana’s people.  Just the idea gave him the 
shivers. 

“I don’t think we’ll be doing that anytime soon,” Sheppard 
said, putting his fears to rest.  “Tatiana told her mother 
what had happened.  They’re looking for Craven as we 
speak.”

“I hope they hang the bastard,” Rodney growled, wishing he 
could do the job himself.  

“You’ll get no arguments from me.”

“Any progress on turning that device off?” Rodney asked. 

“No one even started on it,” Elizabeth answered.  “We’ve 
all been worried about you.”

“You focused more on those plans,” Rodney said, staring at 
her. 

Elizabeth looked away and sighed.  “We figured you’d want 
to turn it off yourself.”

“Then I better get to it,” Rodney said, trying to sit up. 

Elizabeth placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back.  He 
stared at her, falling into her eyes.

“You need rest,” she said, using her no nonsense voice.  
“I’ll have Zelenka work on it until you’re well enough to 
leave.”

“He’ll probably drop it,” Rodney grumbled, staring at 
Elizabeth through hooded lids.  

Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head.  “You know better than 
that.  You’re just trying to con your way out of bed.”

“And it’s not working,” Carson put in.  “You’re not leaving 
here until I clear you.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes.  “Then clear me.”

Carson shook his head.  “Not going to work, Rodney.  You’re 
staying in that bed until I know for sure you’re well.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and sat back against the pillows.  
He glared at Carson, who only smiled.  He folded his arms 
across his chest as Elizabeth patted his shoulder. 

“Think of it as a vacation,” she said.

“Yeah, when I think of a vacation I think of a hospital 
bed.”

“He’s getting better already,” Sheppard quipped.  “He’ll be 
out of here before we know it.”

“He can hear you,” Rodney glared.

Sheppard only smiled before he headed toward the door.  

Rodney rolled his eyes as Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder.  
He looked at her, wanting to take her in his arms and 
finish what they’d started.  He had a feeling Carson would 
object. 

“I’m glad you’re all right,” she said.  

“Are you?” Rodney asked, taking her hand in his.  

Elizabeth smiled.  “I had some moments myself.  Not as bad 
as yours, though.”

“I’ll fix this, Elizabeth.”

“I know you will,” she said.  She bent down and kissed him, 
sending a wave of warmth flowing through him.  “I’ll see 
you later.”

“I look forward to it,” he said as he watched her leave. 


~*~

Elizabeth allowed herself to relax as she walked down the 
hallway.  She let all the emotions she felt to rise within 
her.  She had come close to losing Rodney and it terrified 
her.  She couldn’t imagine life without him.  She didn’t 
think her heart could survive.  

I don’t want to think about it, she thought as she entered 
the transporter.  He’s alive and getting better.  That’s 
all I need to concentrate on.

The doors opened and she stepped into another hallway.  She 
hurried down the corridor, barely noticing John step in 
beside her. 

“You look like hell,” John said, startling her. 

She stared at him.  “Thanks.  I’ve been up all night.”

“He’s fine, Elizabeth,” John said.  “You can stop worrying 
about him.”

“I can’t stop worrying about him, John,” she snapped.  “I 
think about him all the time.  Even more than before.”

“It’s the device,” John said as they entered the mess hall.  
“Once Rodney turns it off, you won’t think about him.”

“I think that’s what he’s afraid of,” Elizabeth sighed as 
she picked up a tray.  

“Yeah, but we both know that’s not true.  Your feelings for 
him our pretty obvious.  How he thinks that’s the device 
talking is beyond me.”

Elizabeth shook her head as she placed food laden plates on 
her tray.  “Because I haven’t shown my feelings for him 
until the device infected us.”

She felt John’s eyes upon her.  She looked at him, his 
stare full of surprise.  She sighed and headed for a table.

“You’ve had feelings for him already?” John asked in a 
hushed tone as he sat across from her. 

“I felt something for him, yes,” she answered, opening her 
bottle of water.  “I just didn’t let them surface.  I 
didn’t think it was appropriate.  I’m his boss.”

“You’ll still have feelings for him once the device is 
off?” John asked, pushing his food around.

“I know I will, but he doesn’t believe it.”

“Won’t he be surprised when he finds out you still love 
him?”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Elizabeth took a sip of 
water.  She planned to prove to Rodney how much she loved 
him, even if it took all night. 

And he won’t forget it.

Elizabeth entered the infirmary the next day to find Rodney 
sitting up in bed.  His laptop was in his lap and she 
couldn’t stop the smile forming her face.  She wondered how 
long it would take him before he had his computer brought 
to him.  

“I was going to see how you were doing, but I see you’re 
well enough to work,” Elizabeth said coming to stand beside 
his bed. 

Rodney looked up to acknowledge her before he looked back 
at the screen.  Curious, she leaned over to see what had 
him so interested. 

“Trying to figure out how to turn the device off?”

“Correct,” he said as he typed some keys.  “It’s proving a 
bit elusive.  Most of what I found was the results of the 
experiment.  They made notes of the test subjects and how 
they reacted to the device.  I haven’t come across 
anything, yet on how to turn it off or the end of the 
experiment.”

“You need to rest, Rodney,” Elizabeth said, placing her 
hand on his shoulder.  “This can wait.”

Rodney stared at her, his eyes flashing blue fire.  “It 
can’t wait, Elizabeth.  This thing is too dangerous.  What 
if the next address we dial is the one that kills me?  I’m 
not going to take that chance and neither should you.  I’m 
going to turn this off before it does any more damage.”

Elizabeth’s heart swelled at the fact he was so concerned.  
Some would have seen it as just self-preservation, but she 
knew better.  He was worried about her as she was worried 
about him.  

“Just don’t over do it, Rodney.”

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “I’m sure Carson will take the 
computer away if he thinks I’m overdoing it.”

“At least someone will,” she kissed him before leaving him 
to his work. 

She walked over to the Carson, who was bandaging Tatiana’s 
sprained ankle.  Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

“Teyla is teaching me how to defend myself,” Tatiana said.  
“John doesn’t like the idea, but I don’t want what happened 
with Craven to happen again.”

“You could just learn to shoot a gun,” Elizabeth said.  
“I’m sure he’d be for that.”

Tatiana smiled, glancing down at her ankle.  “Guns are 
brutal, without grace.  The way Teyla fights is like 
dancing.  Beautiful, but deadly.”

Elizabeth smiled as she folded her arms across her chest.  
“Unassuming.”

“Right.”

“There you go,” Carson said, standing.  “Try not to walk on 
it too much.  John might keep you off your feet, which is 
the best idea.”

“Thank you,” Tatiana said, testing how much weight to put 
on her feet.  She opted to limp out of the infirmary.

“Now for the prenatal exam,” Carson said.  “Hop on the 
table and let’s see how you’re doing.”

Elizabeth climbed onto the bed as Carson gathered the 
things he needed.  She took a deep breath as Carson 
listened to her heart.  He moved it further down to her 
stomach.  She gasped at the coldness against her skin.  

“How do you think Rodney’s doing?” Elizabeth asked, wanting 
to take her mind off the coldness and the nervousness she 
felt.

“He’s doing better,” Carson answered, staring at her 
stomach as if distracted by it.  He shook his head and 
continued.  “He conned both Zelenka and I into letting him 
have his laptop.  I’ll release him tomorrow, so he can find 
his way back here.  Lie down.”

Elizabeth smiled as she lay down on the bed.  Carson pulled 
her shirt up to her breasts, revealing a slight enlargement 
in her abdomen.  Her heart raced at the proof of her 
pregnancy.  Many thoughts raced through her mind.  She 
swallowed to push the fear back down.    

A nurse placed a cold gel on her stomach, causing her to 
gasp at the sensation.  Carson placed a device on her 
stomach and the nurse turned on the machine beside her. 

“There we are,” Carson said.

Elizabeth looked up at the screen.  Her heart beat faster 
at the sight.  She couldn’t believe what she saw.  The 
image was in black and white and grainy, but she saw the 
baby in the center of the image.

“My God,” she breathed in awe.  

Carson moved the device around, letting her view all.  She 
saw the tiny hands and feet.  Her heart swelled at what she 
and Rodney had produced.  She was both terrified and 
excited. 

“My goodness,” Carson breathed.  “There’s another one.”

Stunned, Elizabeth looked at the screen.  The image moved 
to show another baby beside the first.  A hysterical giggle 
bubbled up inside her.  She forced it down knowing sounding 
like a teenage girl at this moment wasn’t good.  She stared 
at the screen as butterflies danced in her stomach. 

“Twins,” she whispered.  “Won’t Rodney be surprised?”





















Chapter Eighteen





“Twins?” Rodney stared in surprise at Elizabeth.  “You’re 
sure?”

“Here’s the proof,” Elizabeth handed him the pictures of 
the sonogram.  He looked at them, barely able to tell what 
he stared at.  He blinked and narrowed his eyes until he 
saw the forms in the grainy image.  His heart raced and his 
stomach clinched. 

“Oh my god,” he squeaked.   “Twins.”

Elizabeth took the pictures from him.  “I believe I had 
that same expression on my face.”

Rodney couldn’t form a single word let alone a sentence.  
He blinked, trying to get himself under control.  He was 
astounded to be a father when he first heard, but now.  Now 
it was almost too much.  He didn’t know how to be a father 
to begin with.  

How am I going to manage twins?  Rodney thought, fighting 
rising panic. 

He looked up at Elizabeth as she smiled down at him.  He 
wanted to bask in that smile forever.  Would she continue 
to beam at him once he turned off the device?  

Would she even want me around once the twins are born?

A part of him secretly wanted to leave the device on.  He 
didn’t want to lose Elizabeth’s love.  It meant so much to 
him.  The other more rational part knew the device was too 
dangerous to both of them.  He had to turn it off. 

“Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked, breaking into his 
thoughts.

He sighed as he turned his attention back to the computer.  
“I’m fine.  It’s overwhelming.  I don’t know if I’ll be a 
good father.”

Elizabeth took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze.  He 
looked at her.  The love and caring was evident in her 
green eyes.  

“I’m sure you’ll be great,” she said.  “We’re both new at 
this, but I have a feeling we’ll do just fine.”

Rodney wanted more than anything to believe that.  He 
wanted to believe she’d still love him once the mechanism 
was turned off.  

I wish I hadn’t touched that stupid thing.  He closed his 
eyes, bringing her hand to his lips. 

“I hope so,” he whispered.  

“Just think of it as charting a new world to explore,” 
Elizabeth said.  

Rodney smirked.  “Another expedition to take with you?  I 
like the sound of that.”

“I knew you would,” Elizabeth smiled.  “Carson said you’re 
out of here tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait,” he said.  “Then I can work on this without 
interruptions from nagging doctors.”

Elizabeth laughed and Rodney’s heart swelled.  He watched 
her leave, wishing he could follow her out the door.  He 
sighed and went back to searching through the notes of the 
love potion experiment. 

He wasn’t able to concentrate on the words scrolling before 
him.  Thoughts of Elizabeth and the twins came to the front 
of his mind.  He closed his eyes and pictured what it would 
be like to hold them in his arms.  He smiled as he thought 
of teaching them the wonders of science. 

“What has you all smiles?” Carson’s voice broke into his 
visions.

Rodney opened his eyes as Carson stood beside his bed.  
“Just picturing what it would like with kids under foot.”

“And it makes you smile?  That’s hard to believe.”

Rodney glared at him.  “Believe it, Carson.”

“You’re actually looking forward to this?”

“As hard as it is for all of you to believe, yes,” he said, 
turning his attention to the screen.  “If only it would 
continue after I fix this.”

“It will, Rodney,” Carson said.  “Elizabeth loves you.”

Rodney shook his head.  “It’s only because of this thing.  
She never showed any romantic interest in me until I turned 
that device on.  Once it’s off, she won’t love me anymore.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know,” Rodney growled, glaring at Carson.  “None of this 
would have happened if I hadn’t touched that thing.”

Carson sighed.  “Get some sleep, Rodney.  Things will be 
better tomorrow.”

Rodney closed his eyes, but he knew Carson was right.  He 
was more than exhausted.  He shut down his computer then 
placed it on the bedside table.  He lay back against the 
pillows and stared up at the ceiling. 

“Are you going to stand there while I sleep?”

Carson laughed.  “Go to sleep.  You’re out of here 
tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait,” Rodney said, closing his eyes. 

~*~

Rodney woke to the sound of metal hitting the floor.  He 
jerked awake, his heart pounding.  He looked around the 
room and his gaze fell on a nurse picking up scalpels and 
scissors. 

“Can you keep it down, you klutz?  Some of us are trying to 
sleep!”

The nurse glared at him before she stalked away.  Rodney 
sighed, running a hand through his hair.  He grumbled as he 
stared up at the ceiling.  He wouldn’t be able to get back 
to sleep now. 

Tossing the blankets to the side, he climbed out of bed.  
His bare feet hit the cold hard floor and he wince.  He 
grabbed his clothes from a chair in the corner and quickly 
put them on.  

“I haven’t said you can go, yet,” Carson said, startling 
Rodney. 

“I’m taking matters into my own hands,” he said as he 
pulled on his socks and shoes.  “I have things to do that 
aren’t getting done.”

“I suppose telling you to take it easy is a waste of 
breath.”

“Yep.  Don’t worry, though.  I’ll be staring at the 
computer screen for the rest of the day.  I’m not going 
anywhere until I fix this.”

Rodney headed out the door before Carson was able to say 
anything else.  He headed down the hall, trying to ignore 
the growling of his stomach.  He wanted to get started on 
the notes and not stop for anything.  His stomach refused 
to be ignored, though sending a wave of nausea through him. 

Grumbling, he headed toward the mess hall.  He spotted 
Elizabeth at a table.  His heart raced at the sight of her.  
She looked even more beautiful if that was possible.  He 
wanted to finish what they had started yesterday. 

You can’t, he told himself as he grabbed a tray.  You have 
to find a way to put things right.  She needs to have her 
real feelings returned. 

Rodney sighed, putting a plate on the tray.  He headed 
toward a table, but Elizabeth called out to him.  His heart 
skipped a beat as he sat across from her. 

“You look better,” Elizabeth said.  

“Thanks,” he said, smirking.  “I had a feeling Carson would 
have kept me there for a while longer.”

“He just wanted to make sure you’re all right.  You know 
how you can get when you set your mind to it.”

“I know, but it still has to be done,” Rodney pushed food 
around on his plate.  “I just hope I don’t make things 
worse.”

“Rodney, I’ll still care about you,” Elizabeth said, 
placing a hand over his.  “You have to believe me.”

Rodney sighed, closing his eyes at her touch.  The warmth 
from her hand flowed through him.  He wanted to wrap it 
around him and stay there.  It wasn’t to be, though.  It 
hurt worse than any wound he ever had.  He didn’t know if 
he would survive. 

“I want to,” he whispered.  “I’d be more than happy if you 
did, but I know better.”

Elizabeth shook her head.  “I’ll prove it to you, Rodney.”

If only you could. 


Rodney stepped into his lab twenty minutes later.  He 
placed his laptop on a table and turned it on.  He typed 
some keys as he sat in his chair.  He scrolled through the 
notes, willing the answer to appear before him. 

“Come on,” he whispered.  

“Still at it?” Zelenka asked. 

Rodney rolled his eyes, but didn’t look at Zelenka.  “Yes, 
I’m still at it.  Go away, so I can continue.”

“Your brain is going to turn to mush, staring at computer 
like that.”

“I highly doubt that, Radek,” Rodney smirked.  “Now go away 
and let me do this.”

Rodney read through the notes, his eyes stinging.  He 
refused to let up, the feeling he would soon find his 
answers welling up inside him.  

He was about to get himself some coffee when something 
caught his eye.  He read through the notes, his heart 
racing.  He smiled as his excitement grew. 

“Finally!” Rodney shouted, wanting to dance around the lab.  
He refrained, though as he wrote down the notes.  “Now, to 
tell Elizabeth.”

He raced out of his lab, tapping his earpiece.  “Elizabeth, 
I found a way to fix this.  I’m on my way to your office.”

A few minutes later, Rodney burst into Elizabeth’s office.  
He stopped before her desk, panting.  He smiled at her 
surprised expression as he dropped the piece of paper on 
her desk. 

“It’s so simple, I’m surprised I didn’t think of it 
earlier,” Rodney said, smiling.  

Elizabeth picked up the paper and read it.  She looked up 
at him, all kinds of emotions in her eyes. 

“We have been preoccupied,” she said as she stood.  “Where 
is the device?”

“In my lab,” he said.  “Once I turn the thing back on, 
everything will be back to normal.”

Elizabeth shook her head as she followed him out of the 
office.  “Everything won’t be back to normal, Rodney.  
Unless you consider me being pregnant normal.”

Rodney looked at her protruding stomach then up at her.  He 
sighed and pulled her closer to him.  He stared into her 
eyes. 

“As far as I’m concerned, it is,” he said.  “I love you, 
Elizabeth.  That will not change, no matter what.”

He kissed her before she was able to say anything.  He 
buried his hands in her hair as he deepened the kiss.  She 
tasted like heaven.  He wanted to make this last forever.  
He knew he had to make things right, put everything back to 
the way it was.  He hated the idea, but if he didn’t, they 
might both die.  

Reluctantly, he pulled away from her.  He sighed, cupping 
her face in his hands. 

“I’ll be here for you, Elizabeth,” he whispered.  “I’m not 
going to let you be alone.”

“I know,” she said, her voice rough with emotion.  

He nodded and led her back to his lab.  It was a fast walk, 
yet took forever to get to his lab.  He didn’t know if he 
wanted it to take forever or get it over with.  He led her 
toward the table where he had the card device.  

“Here it is,” Rodney said, his heart pounding in both 
trepidation and excitement.  

He turned to face Elizabeth, the card between them.  He 
looked at her as he took a deep breath. 

“Here goes everything,” he said as he closed his eyes.  He 
thought about turning it on.  He thought about the blue 
glow leaving their bodies and entering the device. 

“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispered. 

He opened his eyes and the blue glow surrounded them once 
again.  He watched as it shifted around them.  The 
sensation of being trapped came over him again, but this 
time, he let it happen.  

The radiance entered the device as if it was sucked in.  He 
blinked several times, unsure if it had actually worked.  
He took a deep breath, counting the moments as they ticked 
by. 

“That’s it?” Elizabeth asked.  

Rodney nodded as he placed the card on the table.  He 
turned toward her, searching her face for proof.  He wanted 
to take her in his arms, not caring if she truly loved him 
or not.  

“Elizabeth,” he said, taking a step toward her. 

“There you are, Elizabeth,” Sheppard said.  “I should have 
guessed you’d be with McKay.”

“Sheppard,” Rodney warned, narrowing his eyes.  “What the 
hell do you want?”

Sheppard smirked as he placed his hands on his hips.  “Come 
on, McKay, you can’t keep her all to yourself.  She does 
happen to be the head of this expedition.”

Rodney rolled his eyes.  It didn’t matter anyway.  
Elizabeth was back to normal and they could get on with 
their lives.  He just wished his life included Elizabeth. 

“I’m not holding her hostage,” he growled as he turned back 
to the computer.  

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said her voice full of concern.

“Go!” he snapped, glaring at her.  “It’s fixed.  Enjoy your 
life.”

“McKay!” Sheppard shouted.  “What the hell has gotten into 
you?”

Rodney only glowered at the man before looking back at his 
computer.  He felt their eyes upon him, but he ignored 
them.  All he had now was his work and the memories he had 
of Elizabeth.  It would have to do.

~*~

Elizabeth walked down the corridor with John.  Her thoughts 
drifted toward Rodney.  She was worried about him.  He went 
from romantic lover to bitter and snappish in seconds.  
Something had happened and it concerned her.  Was it 
because of John or had he put up a wall to protect himself?

“It worked,” she said.  “We are no longer under the 
influence of the device.”

John looked at her and a light dawned in his eyes.  “I see.  
So that’s why he tried to bite our heads off.” 
 
“I think it’s more than that,” she said as they headed into 
her office.  “He’s hurt and lashing out.”

“You’re going to set him straight aren’t you?” John asked, 
placing his hands on her desk.  “He’s a handful when he’s 
in a good mood.  I don’t think I can deal with a bitter and 
depressed Rodney McKay.”

“Yes, but I’m going to let him calm down first,” she said, 
picking up her laptop.  “Now, what did you want to see me 
about?”

John stood up straight, folding his arms across his chest.  
He was about to say something when Zelenka spoke in 
Elizabeth’s ear. 

“Rodney’s gone.”

“What?” Elizabeth stared at John, fear bubbling up inside 
her.  What was he up to now?  “Did he say where he was 
going?”

“No, he grabbed his computer and left,” Zelenka reported.  
“He didn’t look too good.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath.  “Thanks, Zelenka.  I’ll see 
if I can’t get a hold of him.   Weir out.”

She tapped her earpiece.  “Rodney, where are you?”

“Why would he take off like that without telling anyone?” 
John asked, worry and anger clouding his face.  

“I don’t know,” Elizabeth answered.  She moved around her 
desk as the fear grew inside.  Rodney hadn’t answered.  She 
held her hands behind her back.  “Rodney, answer me.”

John tapped his earpiece.  “Radek, did Rodney take his 
earpiece off?”

“Let me see,” Zelenka said.  A moment later came the 
answer.  “He took it off.  I’m sorry.”

John clinched his hands into fists as if he wanted to hit 
something.  “Are you sure he didn’t say where he was 
going?”

“He said nothing of where he was going.  He could have gone 
to mess hall.”

Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest.  This wasn’t 
like Rodney.  Something was wrong and she had a feeling 
what it was.  She ran a hand through her hair. 

“Where the hell would he go and not take his earpiece?” 
John asked, pacing the room.

“He thinks I don’t love him anymore,” Elizabeth answered.  
“He can’t stand it.”

“He has to know better than that,” John said.  “He’s just 
being stubborn.”

“I haven’t given him a reason to think otherwise,” she 
said, wishing she had proven it to him sooner.  She went 
over to her desk, placing her hands on the top.  She closed 
her eyes as her heart raced in fear.  “We have to find him, 
John.”

“We will,” John stepped closer, his eyes narrowed.  “I’ll 
personally hunt him down and bring his butt back up here.  
Then you can beat it into him that you love him.”

Elizabeth smiled, picturing John hunting Rodney through the 
hallways of the city.  She shook her head and sighed.  She 
had to face him sooner or later.  She much rather it be 
sooner on her terms.  

“I’m going with you.”

John nodded.  “Fine by me.  Saves me having to bring him 
back here.”

Elizabeth followed John into the control room.  John turned 
on the citywide life signs detector and she stared at the 
blinking white dots.

Where could he have gone and why?

One dot moved quickly through the halls.  Her heart raced 
as she watched hit head deeper into the city. 

“There he is,” she pointed toward the dot.  “That has to be 
him.”

“He’s heading toward the jumper bay,” John said, surprise 
in his voice.  “What the hell is he thinking?”

Elizabeth raced down the steps, John following.  They had 
to get to him before he left the city and her life. 














































Chapter Nineteen





Rodney entered the jumper bay and stared at the puddle 
jumpers surrounding him.  His eyes fell on one he knew 
hadn’t been used by anyone.  He took a deep breath as he 
headed upstairs to it.  

The pain of longing and loss overwhelmed him.  He couldn’t 
think.  Memories of the feel of her flooded his brain.  He 
closed his eyes as the rear door slowly opened.  He stepped 
inside, making his way to the pilot’s seat.  He had to get 
out of here, clear his head.  

Maybe being alone will make the pain go away, Rodney 
thought, sitting down.  It can’t get much worse than it is 
now.  

At least Elizabeth wasn’t hurting anymore.  That was 
something at least.  He closed his eyes as the rear door 
made its way back up.  He heard the click and sighed.  

The controls lit up around him.  He typed some keys to open 
the roof.  

“Here goes nothing,” Rodney said.  He looked up as the bay 
doors opened.  He narrowed his eyes as Sheppard stepped 
inside.  

“Rodney!”  Sheppard shouted, Elizabeth by his side.  “What 
the hell are you doing?”

Rodney rolled his eyes.  “I’m going to practice my flying.”

“Get out of that jumper,” Sheppard barked, rushing toward 
the center of the bay.  “You’re not going anywhere!”

“As if I’m going to listen to you,” Rodney mumbled.  He 
grabbed the controls and was about to fly the ship out when 
Elizabeth called his name.  He looked at her as she ran 
toward him. 

“I need to talk to you!” Elizabeth shouted. 

Rodney’s heart pounded as he stared at her.  She looked 
worried and scared.  He closed his eyes and sighed.  He had 
an idea of what she would say.  It would be better to fly 
out of here and never look back.

“Rodney,” Elizabeth called, stepping closer.  “Come down 
here.”

“Do as she says, McKay!” Sheppard said.  “Don’t make me 
come up there and force you.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and motioned for Elizabeth to come 
up.  If he still decided to leave, he could do so.  

The rear door came down and Elizabeth hurried inside. She 
sat in the co-pilot’s chair as the ramp closed.  

Rodney closed his eyes, waiting for Elizabeth to say she 
didn’t love him, but wanted him to stay anyway.  When she 
didn’t say anything, he turned to face her.  She stared at 
him, concern in her green eyes.  His heart ached to hold 
her, comfort her.  

“What were you thinking?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and glared at Sheppard as if he was 
the cause of his sudden unease. 

“I know why you’re here so just say it, Elizabeth,” he 
said, folding his arms across his chest.  He leaned back in 
his chair, but didn’t look at her.  He didn’t want to see 
the truth in her eyes.  It was hard enough hearing it in 
her voice. 

Elizabeth sighed.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her 
moved to kneel beside him.  She turned the chair until he 
faced her.  He looked down at her, his breath caught in his 
throat.  She looked vulnerable.  It tore at him that he had 
put such an expression on her face.  

“Rodney,” she placed her hands on his arms as if hoping to 
hold him in place.  “I should have done this after you 
turned the device off.  I want to prove to you that I still 
love you.”

Rodney couldn’t breathe as he stared at her.  He didn’t 
want to move for fear it was all a dream and he would wake 
up at the slightest movement.  He didn’t even want to 
blink.  

“Say something,” Elizabeth said as her fingers tightened 
around his arms. 

“I-You’re serious?”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and stood.  She paced to the back 
of the jumper, running her hand through her hair.  She 
turned to face him, an expression on her face telling him 
he was insane. 

“I’m serious, Rodney,” she said.  “I love you. Nothing is 
going to change that.”

Rodney felt his face explode in a grin.  He launched 
himself out of the chair and wrapped his arms around 
Elizabeth.  He kissed her as he’d never kissed her before.  
He didn’t want to let her go now that he knew the truth.  
Nothing else mattered as he held her in his arms. 

She deepened the kiss as she buried her hands in his hair.  
Their tongues dueled and he moaned.  It felt good to be in 
her arms again and he wanted to stay there. 

“I’m not going to let you go,” he whispered in her ear.  He 
nibbled her earlobe, smiling as she shivered against him. 

“Rodney,” she sighed as her hands roamed down his back.  
She lifted his shirt up over his head, tossing it to the 
side. 

“Here?” Rodney asked surprised.  “What about Sheppard?”

Elizabeth smiled as she ran her hands over his chest.  
“He’ll get the hint.”

Rodney smirked before he took Elizabeth’s mouth with his 
once again.  He moaned as her hands roamed up his naked 
back.  He wanted to feel her against him, wanted her to 
know how much she affected him.  

He stepped back long enough to yank her shirt off her.  He 
dropped it to the ground then pulled her to him.  He moaned 
at the feel of her bra covered breast against him.  He 
growled as he unhooked her bra.  He slowly slipped it off 
her, watching as her breasts were revealed to him.  His 
arousal strained against his pants, bringing his attention 
to it. 

Wanting to take his time, Rodney cupped her breasts in his 
hands.  He kneaded them, bringing a moan from Elizabeth.  
He closed his eyes, loving the weight of them. 

He heard the zipper of his pants and his heart rate 
increased.  He watched as Elizabeth pushed his pants and 
underwear off his hips and down his legs.  He stepped out 
of them, kicking them to the side. 

His breath caught in his throat as Elizabeth slowly 
repeated the process on her pants and panties.  He believed 
he would explode right there as her legs were revealed 
before him.  He wanted her so much he tasted it. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney moaned.  He didn’t think he would be 
able to take this slow.  She tortured him right now with 
her seduction. 

“Yes, Rodney?” she said as she smiled at him.  Her green 
eyes beckoned him and he couldn’t do anything but obey. 

A burning need inside him, Rodney closed the gap between 
them, pulling her against him.  He devoured her mouth, 
wanting to bring her into him.  To feel her skin against 
his was heaven.  He never wanted to leave this moment.  He 
nibbled her jaw down to her throat.  Her moans and sighs 
coaxed him on until he took a breast into his mouth.  She 
arched against him, giving more of herself to him. 

“Rodney,” she moaned as her hands buried themselves in his 
hair. 

He moved to her other breast as he slowly helped her down 
to the floor of the jumper.  He swirled his tongue around 
the flesh then suckled it deeper into his mouth.  She 
gasped, her nails digging into his back.  

Elizabeth turned him over onto his back.  She straddled 
him, staring into his blue eyes dark with emotion.  Her 
heart swelled as she realized she never wanted to let him 
go.  She wanted to keep him safe and near her.  
She ran her hands over his chest, loving the sound of his 
moan.  She bent over him, nibbling his mouth.  She kissed 
her way down his body, her hands following.  She reached 
the source of his arousal and she smiled.  Locking gazing 
with him, she took him into her mouth. 

Elizabeth swirled her tongue around him, loving the moans 
he made.  She smiled as she kissed her way back up him.  
She took his mouth with hers as she slowly took him inside 
her.  She moaned as he filled her. 

She gazed at him, a wave of love and passion flowing 
through her.  She ran her hands on his chest, reveling in 
the feel of his skin. 

“Elizabeth,” Rodney whispered as he filled his hands with 
her breasts.

She arched into his hands as she began to move.  He thrust 
up into her, bringing a moan from her. She increased her 
pace, her hands planted firmly on his chest.  All her 
thoughts were on the pleasure and passion wrapped around 
her, inside her. 

Rodney grabbed her thighs and matched her frantic pace.  He 
cried out her name as he released deep inside her.  She 
followed shortly as the world exploded around her.


~*~

Rodney opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling of the 
jumper.  A weight rested on his shoulder and arm, drawing 
his attention.  Elizabeth slept peacefully against him.  He 
took the time to admire her and bash in her beauty.  He 
couldn’t believe she still loved him.  He didn’t like to be 
wrong, but in this, he revealed in it.  His heart soared at 
the notion he still had her. 

He ran a finger through a lock of her, loving the feel of 
it.  He pushed it back to join the rest of her hair.  He 
stopped, startled by her staring at him.

“Hi,” he said, at a loss for words.

Elizabeth smiled at him and he relaxed.  He pulled her 
closer to him, giving her a kiss that ignited the fire once 
again.  She pulled away before he was able to go any 
further.

“Did I convince you?” Elizabeth asked, rising up on her 
elbows. 

“More than convince,” he played with her hair.  “I don’t 
think I’ll doubt you again.”

Elizabeth smiled as her finger drew circles on his chest.  
“I need to tell you something.”

Rodney held his breath, his stomach clenching.  What did 
she want to tell him?  Did something happen?

“What?” he whispered, not daring to breathe. 

“I felt something for you before you ever found the 
device,” she said, staring at him as if she feared he’d 
bolt.  “I kept it to myself, knowing my position here 
didn’t allow me to have such relationships.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes as he thought of what she said.  
He closed his eyes, kicking himself.  He should learn to 
read all the notes instead of scanning for the good stuff.  
He sat up, running a hand through his hair. 

“I knew there was something in the notes about increasing 
desire that was already there,” he said.  “I was too upset 
about what I learned to read the rest of it.”

“You panicked when you thought it was a love potion,” 
Elizabeth placed a hand on his shoulder.  “You were looking 
for a reason for the effects it gave us.”

Rodney shook his head and grabbed his shirt.  He put it on.  
“Let’s concentrate on the present.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Elizabeth pulled on her clothes.  “I 
suggest we put that device somewhere safe before someone 
gets the idea to use it.”

Rodney stared at her as if she were crazy.  “I think 
knowing what happened to us is enough to keep people from 
using it.”

She shrugged, smiling as she took a step toward him.  “Just 
in case, let’s put it somewhere safe.”

Rodney sighed as the ramp slowly opened.  “Fine.  I’ll keep 
it in my room.  That’s the safest place in the city.”

“Good idea,” she said as he grabbed his arm, stopping him.  
“Why not make use of this jumper?”

Rodney smirked. “I thought we just did.” 

Elizabeth smiled as she pulled him toward the front of the 
jumper.  “Let’s take it for a spin.”

Ideas raced through his mind as he hit the control to bring 
the ramp back up.  He looked at her as she sat in the co-
pilot’s seat.  

“I must warn you that I still can’t fly this thing in a 
straight line,” he said as he sat.

“I doubt it will matter,” Elizabeth remarked.  “The sky is 
big enough that we won’t know.”

Rodney shook his head as he took the controls and guided 
the jumper toward the open roof.  Elizabeth called the 
control room, letting them know they were taking the jumper 
out.  

He concentrated on flying the jumper as he guided it toward 
the land mass straight ahead.  He still couldn’t believe 
Elizabeth loved him. Still couldn’t believe she had 
feelings for him from the start, but couldn’t act upon them 
until he activated the device.  

Guess it was well worth it, he thought as he glanced over 
to her.  I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Elizabeth looked at him and smiled.  His heart swelled and 
he knew it was just the beginning. 


                           END